There was only one thing to do when she knew she’d be unable to sleep.
Write.
Grace needed to lose herself in a fictional world.
She quietly let herself into Rosehip Cottage – because her parents were evidently already in bed – made a large mug of tea, carried it upstairs to her bedroom and switched her laptop on. She changed into her fleecy pyjamas, pulled on a comfy but stretched old sweater, and climbed into bed.
After selecting some music on her laptop, she plugged in her earphones and began to type.
Grace picked up her tea to find it was cold. She checked her mobile and found that over an hour had passed. It was like that when she was writing, time lost all meaning and she forgot to eat or drink when she was immersed in a story. Her phone buzzed and when she checked the screen, she saw that she had five missed calls from Oli within the last ten minutes. She tugged the earphones out and checked her messages. Oli again, asking her to call him: ASAP.
What did he want?
Just then there was a pounding on the door that echoed through the hallway. Grace’s heart leapt into her throat. Something was wrong, and she had a terrible feeling that it either involved the children or Hope.
She hurried down the stairs, followed by Simon’s shouts to be careful and let him answer the door first. Grace switched on the porch light, then flung the door open. She knew who it would be.
‘Grace!’
In the glow from the porch light, his face was ashen, his eyes dark hollows, his jaw set as if he was in great pain.
‘Oli, what is it?’
‘I can’t stay… I have to get back… I have Amy in the car but she’s asleep. I carried her out of bed, but Hope is still in the cottage and I don’t want her left alone. She’ll panic.’
Louise and Simon appeared beside Grace.
‘Oli, what’s wrong?’ Louise asked as she pulled her dressing gown around her.
‘It’s Tom. He’s missing.’
‘No!’ Grace’s panic rose like acid in her throat. ‘How… why… when?’
‘Not long, I don’t think, but I need to look for him. I phoned my father and he’s on his way but I have to go look for my little boy.’
‘Simon and I will take Amy back to yours, Oli,’ Louise said. ‘You and Grace go and find Tom.’
Oli nodded, clearly too distressed for politeness or formalities. Simon followed him out to his car and carried the drowsy Amy into Rosehip Cottage. Oli handed his house keys to Louise while Grace raced upstairs and quickly dressed, then came back down, pulled her boots and coat on and tugged a hat over her hair.
As Grace hurried out to Oli’s Land Rover, she asked, ‘Where might he have gone?’
‘I’m not sure. I searched the garden and the surgery car park but he wasn’t there. I couldn’t find any tracks because the snow is so heavy.’ He started the engine then negotiated the vehicle out of the driveway and onto the main road.
‘Did he take anything with him?’
‘Yes…’ Oli increased the speed of the windscreen wipers, but even then the snow was falling so heavy that visibility was poor. ‘He took his little school rucksack, his pen torch that he always keeps by his bedside, his coat, hat and gloves. He never goes out alone but after you left, I was putting the rubbish out the back and he must have let himself out. I didn’t hear the door but I was so lost in my thoughts. Grace I could lose my son because I was so wrapped up in thinking about you and me. How irresponsible am I to allow myself to become so self-absorbed?’ He glanced at her, and she winced at the pain in his eyes that was highlighted by the glare of the headlights on the snow.
‘Oli, you’re not at all self-absorbed. You’re the least selfish person I know and you always put the children first. This isn’t your fault. Now don’t worry… we’ll find him.’
She gripped the seat, as the vehicle trundled up the lane, trying to sound far more certain than she felt. Oli couldn’t lose Tom and neither could she. The adorable little boy, with his blond hair, sweet smile and his trusting soft brown eyes, was such an angel and the thought of any harm coming to him would break her too.
‘Oli… why do you think he went?’
‘I have no idea. Unless…’ He thumped the steering wheel. ‘He must have heard us talking. When he went to the toilet. He’s very fond of you and perhaps he thought we were arguing when you said you had to return to Cardiff.’
‘Poor Tom.’
Grace rubbed her chest where the pain was growing by the minute.
‘I phoned my father and Maxine is ringing around the village, so I said I’d drive around to see if I could spot him. It’s freezing out there and that little torch of his won’t help him to see much.’
‘He’ll be okay.’
Grace hoped that if she repeated the words that they’d be true.
‘I couldn’t cope if I lost him or Amy, Grace. It would finish me off.’
‘You won’t lose him, Oli.’ Grace leaned over and squeezed his arm.
A buzzing sounded from within the vehicle and Grace pulled her mobile from her pocket. ‘It’s not mine.’
Oli handed her his mobile and she swiped the screen to answer it.
‘Hello?’
A deep voice on the other end asked her to switch the speakerphone on.
‘Oli?’
‘Yes… I’m here, Dad.’
‘I’ve tried everyone we know and no one’s seen him but the village is setting up a search party as we speak.’
‘That’s great.’
‘Oh… hold on… Maxine is waving at me.’
Oli and Grace listened as Maxine spoke urgently in the background.
‘Oli? You hear that?’
‘Not really, Dad.’
‘Neil Burton rang. He tried your mobile but couldn’t get through. He was checking all his outbuildings, making sure the animals were settled with this snow coming in and he said one of his dogs was fussing around outside the old stable in the field nearest to the woods.’
‘A stable?’
‘Yes. He’s investigating as we speak but might be worth a look? I’ll keep trying here.’
‘Thanks, Dad!’ Oli glanced at Grace. ‘Let’s get up there.’
The Land Rover’s four-wheel drive carried them through the snow and soon they arrived at Foxglove Farm. Oli jumped out to open the gate then drove them in before closing the gate behind them.
He drove along the dirt path that was barely visible now and around to the field near the woods that bordered the farm.
Neil Burton was there already, his own Land Rover parked up so the headlights shone on the barn. His collie was sat in front of the barn barking and Neil waved Oli and Grace forward. Oli jumped out without even taking the key from the ignition.
‘Oli, you might want to take a look in there.’
Oli paused. ‘Is he…’
‘He’s okay, but I didn’t want to startle him. He’s snuggled up in the straw next to the donkeys. Soft old girls they are and he’s at the rear of their stable.’
‘He must have marched up here to get here so quickly.’ Oli looked at Grace. ‘He’s only got little legs.’
‘Probably got lost, Oli, and ended up cutting through the woods by Mary’s place then across the field. Any idea where he was heading?’ Neil asked.
‘Out of the village it seems.’ Oli shook his head. ‘I’ll go and speak to him.’
Grace nodded.
‘Come with me?’
Oli held out his hand and she took it, then they went into the stable together.
Inside, it was warm and dry. The smells of hay and animals were strong but not unpleasant. Neil had hung an LED lantern from a beam and it gave the stable a warm golden glow.
They spoke softly to the two donkeys, who stamped their feet and watched them curiously as they went to the very back of the stable where Tom was curled up in the straw. His face was relaxed, his skin the colour of peaches and cream. Grace was so relieved to see him that she had to stop herself gathering him up in her arms and hugging him tight.
Oli knelt down in the straw.
‘Tom?’
The little boy’s eyelashes fluttered.
‘Tom? It’s Daddy.’
Tom blinked and sat up then peered around him.
‘Daddy? How did you get here?’
‘You ran away, Tom. We came looking for you.’
Tom peered at Grace.
‘Grace, you didn’t leave.’
‘No, of course not. Why would I?’
‘I heard you say to Daddy that you were going away.’
He rubbed his eyes and yawned.
‘Tom, were you going to leave me and Amy?’ Oli asked.
‘No, Daddy, but I was going to see if I could find Santa tonight to ask him to make my wish come true. He said he would try, so I wanted to remind him. You said he never comes to the house when we’re still awake, so I thought I’d go and look for him.’
‘You must never ever wander off like that, Tom. If you’re worried you must speak to me and I’ll do what I can to help you. But you could have…’ Oli’s voice cracked and he hung his head. Grace rubbed his back gently.
‘What your daddy means, Tom, is that you could have been hurt. It’s dangerous for a little boy to be out on his own.’
Tom nodded.
‘But you’re okay, so you must just promise never to run off again.’
‘Are you staying now, Grace?’ His big brown eyes held hers and her heart melted.
‘Yes, I’m staying, Tom.’ She opened her arms, and he got up and ran into them. She hugged him tight and he pressed his soft cheek against hers, and she knew in that moment that she meant what she’d said.
She would stay in Conwenna Cove. Whatever happened between her and Oli, she would make a life in the pretty Cornish village and she would be here for Tom and for Amy, for as long as they needed her. She and Oli had been worried about Amy, but it seemed that Tom was going through his own emotional journey too. He’d seemed so accepting of Grace and neither she nor Oli had thought that Tom might also be afraid of losing her. So afraid that he’d run off in the night alone, looking for Santa so he could ask him to grant his Christmas wish.
‘I’ll be here, Tom. I’m not just your daddy’s friend, I’m your friend too.’
‘And Amy’s?’
‘Yes, and Amy’s.’
‘Then my Christmas wish has almost come true.’ Tom leaned back and smiled at her, his tiny white teeth glinting in the light from the lantern.
Grace felt a hand on her back and she turned to find Oli gazing at her, his eyes shining, his expression one of hope. She shuffled around so that Tom was closer to Oli then he wrapped his arms around them both and they stayed that way for some time.
Holding on. Tight. Together.