Grace entered the Conwenna Café and closed the door behind her. She stood still for a moment, catching her breath after having it stolen by the biting sea wind that was sweeping through Conwenna. Her teeth had literally been chattering on her walk from Rosehip Cottage and she’d been glad of the hat, scarf and gloves that her mother had pressed on her before she’d left.
She pulled the hat and gloves off then unwound the scarf, before looking around for somewhere to sit. The air was filled with the mouth-watering scents of festive baking – reminding her again that it was December – and the haunting sound of a church choir drifted from the speakers around the café. In the corner, a large Christmas tree glowed with hundreds of tiny white lights and the front of the counter had been decorated with a colourful string of miniature lanterns.
The table nearest the tree had been taken by a striking looking couple. The woman was very pretty and petite with large green eyes and short blonde hair. Her companion was tall and broad with brown hair and eyes so dark they seemed black. They were currently cooing over the baby that the woman was cradling in her arms and their love for the child was written all over their faces. As Grace watched, an older woman approached the table carrying a tray of mugs and cakes, which she set down on the table. They looked like a perfect little family and Grace wondered if they lived locally.
Grace continued her scan for a table and her cheeks filled with heat as she met the blue-green eyes of Oliver Davenport. Were they destined to keep bumping into each other as if they were the leading roles in a Hollywood blockbuster? Then again, it was a very small village and it was highly likely that she’d bump into him more than once, and she was probably only noticing him because they’d been introduced. There were other faces she’d seen around that were becoming familiar, but she had yet to put a name to them. She held her breath, unsure whether to smile or wave, but as his lips turned upwards and he beckoned her with a wave of his hand, she released the breath and returned his smile.
‘Hello, Grace. How’re you?’
‘Cold.’ She removed her coat. ‘Actually, I’m freezing.’
‘You want to sit down?’
She glanced at the table where he had an empty coffee cup, a plate with a few crumbs on it and a notepad with a pen sitting on top.
‘Wouldn’t I be disturbing you?’
‘Not at all. To be honest, I’d be glad of the distraction.’
‘Okay, then. Thanks.’
She hung her coat on the back of the chair and sat down.
‘Do you always go out for lunch?’
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘Only when I need some thinking time… or some cakes.’ He laughed. ‘I needed to try to get my head around this…’ He gestured at the notepad.
‘You’re writing?’
‘Not exactly… more planning.’
‘Anything interesting?’
‘A birthday party.’
‘Who for?’
‘My daughter.’
‘Oh… that’s right, I remember you mentioning her.’
‘Yes, Amy. She’ll be eleven on Friday. I’ve left all this a bit late, but things have been busy and then it was the weekend and then…’ he sighed. ‘I’ve no excuse really, other than to say that I’m still getting used to doing all this stuff, and I was probably subconsciously delaying because I knew I’d struggle.’
Grace nodded, although she wasn’t quite sure what he meant and didn’t want to pry. Not when he was being so nice again. She realized who he reminded her of this morning with his short dark hair and eyes the colour of the Caribbean ocean: the actor Tom Hardy. His wife was a lucky woman.
‘Hey there, Grace.’ Nate had arrived at the table. ‘How’re you settling in?’
‘Really well, thanks. My parents are delighted with the cottage and it’s getting more homely by the day. They’re not fully unpacked but they’re getting there and the view from the front bedroom is gorgeous.’
‘Great to hear that. So do you think you’ll be likely to stay too?’
Grace glanced at Oli and found his eyes fixed on her face. She dragged her gaze away from him then made eye contact with Nate.
‘I… uh… I doubt it. I have a flat back in Cardiff and a… my life is there.’
‘Of course it is.’ Nate grinned. ‘I just thought that, you know… the Conwenna magic might have got under your skin by now.’
‘It is really beautiful here. I can see why people would want to settle here, but I—’
‘Well you only need to look at Eve over there to see how Conwenna can get under your skin.’ Nate gestured at the couple with the baby. ‘Isn’t that right, Eve?’
The blonde woman looked up. ‘Sorry?’
‘I was just telling Grace that Conwenna Cove is a fabulous place to live.’
‘Oh absolutely! I came here last year in the summer and never left.’ She smiled at the man sitting next to her. ‘Although Jack here, and our rescue greyhound Gabe, had something to do with it too.’
‘And now look at us.’ The handsome dark haired man took the baby from Eve. ‘We even have this little fella.’
‘Are you staying around here then?’ the older woman sitting with them asked. ‘I’m Mary Millar. I’ve lived here for years and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ Grace replied. ‘My parents bought Rosehip Cottage.’
‘The Phillipses, right?’ Mary asked.
‘That’s right.’
‘Well, I hope they’ll be very happy there.’
‘Thank you.’
‘And there you have it,’ Nate said. ‘Happy Conwenna residents. Come on, Grace, tell me you’re not tempted.’
‘Leave the woman alone, Nate. She’s being too polite. I’m sure Grace has a busy social life in Wales, and has no intention of moving to a tiny Cornish village where the pubs still close at eleven and where the windows rattle when the winter gales bring in a storm.’
‘Don’t listen to him, Grace. Even when we have a storm here, it’s still a wonderful place to be. Oli set up his own veterinary practice here so it can’t be that bad.’
‘It’s a convenient location for the practice. I can get to all the local farms in good time. So don’t you let Nate put any pressure on you, Grace. Conwenna is beautiful, but it’s too quiet an existence for some.’
Grace smiled her thanks at him, although she wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that he was convinced that she wouldn’t want to stay. After all, she’d already considered it, but she barely knew these two men and telling them her thoughts before she knew for certain what she wanted to do, didn’t seem quite right.
‘Well, all I can say is that you haven’t seen it in the summer time yet, Grace. So even if you do return to Cardiff, promise that you’ll come back here in July or August and enjoy a Conwenna summer.’
‘Okay. I promise.’
‘What can I get you, Grace?’
‘A latte please, and whatever Oli wants.’
‘Shall I make that a gingerbread latte? Christmas special?’
‘That sounds amazing, thank you.’
‘And a mince pie?’
‘Oh, go on then.’
Oli checked his mobile. ‘I have time for one more, so I’ll have one of those gingerbread lattes too, please. But I’d better finish this list.’
‘Oh, sorry, do you want me to leave you in peace?’
Grace pushed her chair back to get up.
‘No, no. Please stay. Perhaps you can help me?’
His question, accompanied by a dazzling smile, reassured her.
‘So your daughter will be eleven, right?’
‘I can’t believe it. Seems like she was only a baby yesterday. Her mother would be so proud of her.’ He bit his lip.
‘Would be?’
He looked down at the notebook.
‘She uh… she passed away two years ago.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Me too.’
‘That must have been so hard for you. I mean… gosh there are no words to describe how awful it must have been… must still be.’ Grace cringed inwardly at her lack of appropriate words.
‘It has been difficult. But the children need normality and stability and I try, with the help of my father, to give them that.’
‘Of course. So did your wife always do all of this then?’
‘All of what?’ He frowned and a thin line appeared between his brows, instantly ageing him. Grace noticed that he had similar lines around his mouth, and her heart ached at the realization that they were evidence of his pain and grief, of what he’d been through over the past two years. No one escaped unscathed.
‘The party planning.’
‘Oh… yes. She loved all of it. She was always planning the next special occasion.’
‘What about your father? Could he help with this?’
‘I don’t like to ask for help all the time. He’s already fabulous with the school run and in so many other ways. Besides, I’m perfectly capable of planning a party.’
‘Of course you are. I didn’t mean that.’
‘Sorry.’ He held up a hand. ‘I get a bit defensive sometimes.’
‘That’s perfectly natural, I’m sure.’
He smiled. ‘You haven’t even had a coffee and already you’re counselling me.’
‘I guess it could be seen that way.’
‘So you’re an author, but you’ve also trained as a counsellor?’
‘I am an author, but I’m not a counsellor. Although I had some counselling in my past.’
‘Did you find it helpful?’
‘In some ways, yes.’ Grace looked around her. ‘Although it’s a bit strange talking to a complete stranger about your deepest feelings. It took some getting used to.’
‘I had counselling too.’ He nodded slowly. ‘So I know what it’s like.’
There were a few other people in the café, as well as Eve, Jack, Mary and baby Iain, but they were all involved in their food and their own conversations. She rarely spoke about Sam, but knowing that Oli had lost his wife meant that he knew how it felt to lose someone you were close to. So she felt that she could share at least some things anyway.
‘My older brother died nine years ago. He had cystic fibrosis. Some people with it live into their late thirties and forties, but Sam’s lungs were badly scarred… and he got infection after infection… In the end, he just grew too weak and it was like he gave up. He told me he was tired of fighting all the time, tired of the pain and the effort it took just to live.’ She took a shaky breath. ‘Sorry, I don’t talk about it much.’
‘I can understand why.’
He reached across the table and took her hands. She looked down and realized that she’d been tearing a napkin into tiny pieces. His hands were big and strong, his fingers long with short clean nails. Her skin tingled where he held her and she was strangely comforted by his touch; she very rarely had physical contact with anyone other than her parents.
‘I just miss him. A lot. I mean… most of the time, I just get on with it. And nine years is a long time. But sometimes, it all comes flooding back doesn’t it?’
‘I know exactly what you mean.’
Oli gently released her hands as Nate arrived at the table carrying two coffees and a plate with two large mince pies, their golden pastry dusted with soft white icing sugar.
‘Here you are, Grace,’ he said. ‘My uncle’s mince pies are delicious. There’s one there for you too, Oli.’
‘Oh, thanks. That baguette was very filling, but I’m sure I can manage one of these. I also wanted to ask you about a birthday cake.’
‘For Amy?’
‘Yes. You think your uncle Kevin will be able to make one for Friday?’
‘I’m sure he will. I’ll check with him and let you know before you leave.’
‘Fantastic.’
Nate walked away.
‘You’ll enjoy that mince pie. They really are the best I’ve ever tasted.’
‘You haven’t tried my father’s baking yet.’
‘Yet?’
Grace smiled into her mug. Why had she said yet?
‘Oh… I was just thinking that he could… uh… bake some for the party.’
Oli stared at her and she grew hot under the intensity of his gaze.
‘I didn’t mean that I’m inviting myself, or my father or… uh… or anything like that. Just that if you’d like some cupcakes, I’m sure he’ll be happy to make some for you.’
‘Doesn’t he have enough to do with sorting out his cottage?’
‘He likes baking. It relaxes him, and I’m sure he’d be delighted to do it. He doesn’t get to try out his recipes on anyone other than me and my mother these days.’
‘These days?’
‘Oh, when I was in school he used to bake for the school fêtes and PTA evenings and so on. Any excuse to feed people.’
‘Well, if you’re sure, then that would be wonderful. My mother has already insisted on bringing sandwiches and pasties – that she’ll order from her local deli, no doubt – and with a cake from Kevin and cupcakes from your father, I think that’ll be enough for the children to eat. What do you think?’
‘Jelly and ice cream?’
He laughed. ‘I’m not sure that they expect that these days. It’s all fancy cakes and nibbles and knowing some of Amy’s friends, they’ll probably want olives.’
‘Olives? Really? I must be out of touch.’
He nodded. ‘At the last party she went to they had bruschetta with fresh ricotta and spinach and prunes wrapped in prosciutto.’
‘Now you’re having me on.’
‘Not at all. These kids have grown up on a diet of reality TV. They watch teenagers on MTV having these elaborate parties and they want a slice of it too. I do try to ensure that Amy is not spoilt and I draw the line at a limo to the village hall, but I have to make some concessions or I’ll be labelled the worst daddy ever!’ He gave a dramatic flick of his hand as if he was throwing long hair over his shoulder, and wiggled his eyebrows. ‘Come to the party and meet some of the kids. Then you’ll see.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’d appreciate the support. And Tom will be pleased if you’re there.’
Grace thought about the little boy with the brown eyes and blond hair. A little boy who didn’t have a mummy, who’d lost his mummy when he was around three years old. Then there was this handsome man sat opposite her, a man who’d just held her hands when she’d become upset, a man who knew what it was to lose a loved one. A man who could understand.
‘I’d love to come. Now let’s have a think about some cupcakes that Amy would like and I’ll get Dad baking.’
‘Brilliant!’
Oli’s grateful smile was enough to melt her heart.
The next few days passed in a blur of activity for Oli as he treated domestic pets at the surgery, made visits to two local farms to see to larger animals and went to the greyhound sanctuary at Foxglove Farm to check over a new arrival.
‘Ruby seems to be in pretty good health, Jack.’ Oli stroked the small tan female greyhound and she wagged her tail.
‘She is. Lovely girl too.’
‘Was she raced?’
‘Apparently not. She just wasn’t interested in chasing the hare.’
Oli watched Jack’s smile broaden. The ex-marine was such a large man yet he was extremely gentle, and he adored the dogs at the rescue sanctuary. He also seemed a lot happier since he’d fallen in love with Eve, in the summer of the previous year, and had a baby boy a couple of months ago. Jack just looked like his life was complete.
‘So she was a bit what… lazy?’
‘To be honest, I think she’s just too bright. She’s only been here two days and is already making headway with the wooden puzzles and can get all the treats out quickly. But she does love to roach too.’
Oli pictured the pretty girl lying in the roaching position, on her back with her legs in the air, as sighthounds tended to do when relaxed, and it made him smile.
He crouched down in front of Ruby. ‘You’ll make someone a lovely companion, won’t you?’ Ruby licked his chin.
‘Be nice if we can find her a home before Christmas, but with two weeks to go it’s unlikely. She needs to be properly assessed first anyway.’
‘I’m sure she’ll find a loving home. I’d offer myself, but it seems like I might have to take in a cat soon, unless we can find an alternative home for her.’
‘The one Edward found?’
‘That’s right. She’s a cute little thing and doing a good job of mothering so far.’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised if Mary wants to home a kitten too.’
‘That’s what Edward said. So I just need to find homes for the others. Besides, I know that if I start adopting animals, I’ll struggle to stop. Amy and Tom ask all the time.’
‘Kind of like opening floodgates?’
‘Yes, I guess so. I’d end up overrun.’ Oli shook his head at the thought.
‘You fancy going for a drink later? Eve said I should head for a pint with Nate, now Iain has started to sleep better at night. Thought we’d head over to The Conwenna Arms after dinner. Just for a drink or two.’
‘That would have been great, babysitting problems aside, but we have Amy’s eleventh birthday party at the village hall. So it’s going to be a busy one.’
‘No problem. You all sorted for it?’
‘Yeah. Should be okay. I’ve been lucky to have Mum and Dad on board, as well as Grace Phillips.’
‘Grace who?’ Jack frowned.
‘Her parents are the ones who’ve just moved into Rosehip Cottage and she’s staying in the village for a while.’
‘Oh yeah… the pretty woman from the café.’ Jack’s mouth twitched. ‘Sounded like Nate, and you no doubt, were trying to persuade her to stay around.’
‘No, nothing like that. She just seems like a really nice person.’
‘And it helps that she’s very attractive?’
‘She is. Well, I think so anyway. Not that it matters.’
‘I know you’ve had a difficult few years, Oli, and I’m not dismissing that, but if you find someone you like then you should allow yourself to consider being happy. I never thought I’d find someone to love again, then Eve arrived that summer and I couldn’t help myself. And now… I can’t imagine life without her.’
Oli nodded. ‘I know, and I’m happy for you, Jack. But it’s different for me. One, it’s still too soon, and two, I have Amy and Tom to consider. If I ever bring someone into my life, she’d have to be good enough for them too. And anyway, how many women would want to take on a widower with two kids?’
‘Oh I don’t know, I think you’re quite a catch. At least Eve tells me you are, you know, from a female perspective.’ Jack winked.
‘You’re so kind.’
‘Look, let’s have that pint soon. Preferably this side of Christmas.’
‘Sure thing.’
Half an hour later, Oli drove down through the country lanes to the surgery. The drive was so pretty in spring and summer but now, in winter, the hedgerows were bare, their naked dark brown branches revealing the fields that lay beyond them. There were still patches of greenery on the ground around them but some of the grass was yellow and dry, and some – where the wintery sun hadn’t reached – still bore a crisp white frost. It reminded Oli of how he tried to protect himself by maintaining a cold outer layer, but he also knew that a touch of warmth and his own frosty layer could easily thaw. Which was why he tried to stay so strong. He was worried that he’d melt if he ever got close to anyone again and he just couldn’t afford to do that.
He thought about what Jack had said and he knew that Jack wasn’t being insensitive. He’d been through hell during his time in the marines and lost comrades, then his first wife when she’d gone off with another man. Jack had been scarred by his experiences and so had Oli. Wasn’t everyone damaged in some way? After all, Grace had told him about her brother dying so young from complications linked to his cystic fibrosis. She had scars too. But that just made Oli feel more drawn to her, in spite of his belief that he shouldn’t get close to her, because she understood loss and the pain it brought.
He wondered if she understood the loneliness too. Because he did get lonely; there were nights when he’d wake up expecting to find a warm body next to him in bed, but the other side would be cold and empty. And it hurt so damned much that the ache was physical. He’d tried to tell himself that it was the way life would be for him now and he thought he was getting along all right. That was until he met Grace Phillips a week ago and something inside him stirred, a part of him that was tired of being alone. But he didn’t know if it was possible, if his feelings would be reciprocated or if it was something he should even be considering. He probably should just let the idea go completely but…
He parked his Land Rover behind the surgery, stopped the engine, then sat there for a moment to compose himself before heading inside. Today was about Amy and making her happy, about trying to show her a good time without her feeling that awful sense that something was missing, that there was a big black hole where her mum should be.
And that was exactly why Oli didn’t have the time, or the energy, to spend on falling in love and caring about another human being. His heart was already stretched as far as it would go.