Dee’s knuckles were white as she fought to keep her grip on the door frame of the jeep. The road they were travelling on was potholed and badly neglected as they headed for one of the outer regions of the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone, where, despite the daily hardships of such a location, the Ukrainian Den had made its home.
In order to make this trip, Dee and Mark had been collected at Carlisle airport by the Council’s private plane, and they had been both surprised and relieved to find that Feng, one of the Councillors, had come as their official escort. Having spent a significant amount of time with him in Scotland in the early winter, he was a welcome familiar face when the two of them were going to be venturing into entirely unknown territory. Two assassin bodyguards had also come along, although so far, they had had little to say.
After the plane had landed, they’d been greeted by a stern line-up. Four armed and muscular shifters from the Ukrainian Den looked Dee and Mark up and down like they were something to be scraped off their shoe. After the briefest of introductions, they’d hurried them all off to two waiting vehicles to begin the two-hour trip to their destination. On advice from the resident Den, Dee and Mark had each brought very little luggage, and what they had brought had been left in the plane. Security around the Exclusion Zone was tight, and while getting in and out was not a problem for wolves, humans carrying suitcases were bound to draw attention.
“We park car at safe-house, then walk,” the driver of the car announced, and Dee merely nodded. The woman spoke broken English at best, but that was still a step up from the other guide in their car, a frowning man who didn’t understand a single word of it. Feng and the two assassins were in a second jeep travelling not far behind them, their driver speaking English more fluently, but less eagerly.
A few minutes later, the car pulled into what looked like an abandoned barn, and Dee followed their hosts’ lead by getting out of the car and heading towards a dilapidated stock yard. They arrived just as the second car was pulling into the barn, and Dee was a little concerned to realise they would not be waiting for Feng before heading off.
“Road to Den is difficult,” their driver said, looking at them both seriously. “Guards, many guards. You stay with me, right behind. Right behind,” she said again, emphasising her point with some vigorous gestures. “Bad guards, and...” She fumbled for the right word. “Sickness. Bad. Uh...”
“Radiation?” Dee guessed.
“Radiation, yes. Explosion. Very bad. You stay right behind me.”
Dee and Mark both nodded solemnly. They’d been told that the Ukrainian Den had chosen an abandoned town with only low levels of radiation lingering, higher than would be recommended for normal humans, but some quirk in the shifter physiology apparently meant they were able to live there safely. But after the stern warning from their guide, Dee took it to mean that on the way there, they were likely to cross other areas that might be more contaminated, and serious health issues could result if she strayed from the path. “Stay with you,” she confirmed.
“Wolf only,” the guide said next. “No humans. Wolf only.”
“Okay,” Dee said, nodding again. “Now?”
The guide glanced over at the barn, where the second half of their group was emerging. A wave and a few gestures passed between them, and then the guide nodded. “Now. Wolves. We go.” She shifted, waiting while the rest of them did so as well, then set off at a quick trot, heading away from the farm and into the forest. Dee went second, Mark on her tail, and the second guide, now a burly grey wolf, brought up the rear.
It was a good hour’s journey before they reached their destination, but the trek was absolutely beautiful, the countryside untouched by human hands for the past thirty years. The few buildings they passed were being slowly overgrown by vines, weeds sprouted up from any crack in the concrete and the sense of isolation was both haunting and serene.
Finally, after a hard, uphill slog, the small village the Ukrainian Den called home came into view. Their guide stopped, scenting the air carefully, then she threw her head back and howled. Faeydir perked up instantly, eager to add her voice to the song, but Dee quickly pulled her up, not certain that joining in would be appropriate. But all the same, she hoped they would get the chance to do some decent howling while they were here, since it was strictly forbidden at their home estate. In this unique wilderness, a sizable wild population of wolves meant that even a full-throated chorus by the entire pack was not going to arouse any suspicions.
An answering howl came back to them, and as a formless passenger inside Faeydir’s body, Dee imagined herself smiling. That was Nikolai’s howl, and she could feel Faeydir’s excitement rising, as eager to see their friend as Dee herself was.
In response to the howl, their guide moved forward, leading the group down a narrow path between old gardens, now wildly overgrown, along a deserted street and down a small slope. Eventually they broke free of the undergrowth and came face to face with a small group of wolves, Nikolai front and centre. Faeydir could tell he was trying to look authoritative, but the incorrigible way the tip of his tail was wagging was a dead giveaway. Not waiting for any more of an introduction, she bounded forward, head held low, tail tucked but wagging, an eager yowl coming from her throat – a thoroughly proper greeting for a high-ranking wolf who also happened to be a good friend.
Nikolai looked entirely pleased by her behaviour, tail wagging forcefully now, and he stood grinning while Faeydir licked his muzzle. Seeing that Faeydir’s enthusiasm was appreciated, Mark came forward as well, less excited, but paying similar reverence to the alpha wolf.
But not everyone was as eager to see them. Another wolf came forward, a female, and she stood tall and aloof, tail held high, with just a hint of a snarl on her lips. This must be the alpha female, Dee realised, and was relieved when Faeydir greeted her submissively, dropping low to the ground and then inching forward, offering a tentative lick to the female’s muzzle. The rest of the pack didn’t move to greet the newcomers, nor to display any overt defensiveness. They seemed content to take their lead from their alphas, and the attitude showed a marked degree of trust and solidarity amongst the pack.
A second howl echoed from the forest, and Nikolai turned to listen, then issued a howl in reply. Feng and his group must have arrived.
Dee began to wonder when it might be considered acceptable to shift. Each pack had their own customs and she didn’t want to offend anyone, but at the same time, she was eager to greet Nikolai as a human and to find out more about the two pups they had come so far to see.
But it seemed that the Ukrainian pack lived significantly wilder lives than Dee’s own Den, and given their surroundings, it was hardly a surprise. There were no local shops for supplies, so she supposed that much of their food must have been caught through hunting, and it was likely that most meals were eaten in wolf form. Nights could be cold out here, with no electricity for heat – though she could smell the distinct tang of a wood fire – and it was possible they might sleep in wolf form most of the time as well. In some ways, they had achieved what so many Grey Watch packs aspired to; a rediscovering of their wild roots and a return to a more basic way of life.
Not two minutes had passed since the howl had been heard, when five more wolves came padding into the clearing. For all Dee’s impatience, Faeydir seemed totally content to wait and watch while the next round of introductions went on, and Dee found herself quite curious as to how Feng and Nikolai would greet each other. Technically speaking, Feng ranked above Nikolai, but since they were on Nikolai’s territory, that wasn’t necessarily the definitive answer to their relationship. High-ranking wolves from different packs often struggled to know how to approach each other, and for that very reason, it was far more common for introductions to be made in human form.
Aware of the potential for conflict, Feng stepped forward, as did Nikolai, and the two of them faced each other, heads up, tails high, two proud warriors sizing each other up in an unhurried way.
Just when the standoff was about to get awkward, Nikolai bent his head ever so slightly, a mark of deference to his superior, and that broke the tension. The female alpha came forward, and they, Feng, and the assassins all spent a few minutes sniffing each other over. Watching on from within Faeydir’s mind, Dee was a little surprised to find herself feeling both awkward and jealous.
She was well aware of how unique her situation was. Most of the shifters – as she had repeatedly been told – were not merely a human inside a wolf’s body; in every way that mattered, they were the wolf as much as they were the human.
But Faeydir was a completely separate mind and personality, and so Dee had never truly merged with her canine half as other shifters did. She knew a great deal about wolf behaviour, she regularly watched how Faeydir solved problems and made decisions, but she had never truly felt like a wolf, never been swept away by the wild instincts that governed Faeydir’s life. Watching the wolves in front of her sniffing each other, all she could think was that if it had been up to her to greet another wolf that way, she would have been profoundly embarrassed. Somehow having Faeydir do it was okay – particularly since Faeydir would have found it standoffish or even offensive to not familiarise herself with the scent of her new companions. But Dee still wondered how people who had been born and raised as humans embraced such a foreign culture so readily.
Soon enough, the ritualistic greeting was over, and Nikolai shifted into human form, the rest of them taking that as their cue to do likewise.
Nikolai’s first action was to shake Feng’s hand. “My condolences,” he said without any preamble. “Eleanor will be greatly missed. May she find glory in the House of Sirius.”
“May she find glory,” Feng repeated. “And thank you. She’ll be difficult to replace.”
Nikolai paused to say something in Ukrainian to the alpha female, a woman who was much younger than Dee had expected. While in Scotland over the summer, Nikolai had told them plenty of stories about his tempestuous co-leader and how they butted heads at every opportunity, and Dee had somehow assumed the woman was around Nikolai’s own age – he must be approaching fifty, at a reasonable guess, his hair turning grey at his temples, his face weathered. But this woman looked to be in her thirties, a thick mane of dark hair flowing down her back, a lean body and well-developed muscles suggesting she could more than hold her own in a fight. Not only that, but she was far more beautiful than Dee had expected, an easy smile on her face as she stepped forward to hug Feng. She said something in Ukrainian, and it was only then that Dee realised she didn’t speak any English. Nikolai translated – she’d said Feng and his party were very welcome, and it had been a great sorrow to hear of Eleanor’s passing – and then Nikolai finally turned to Dee.
“Dee, my friend. It is so good to see you again. And your honourable boyfriend as well.” He winked at Mark, who grinned back and shook his hand. When they’d first met, the two of them hadn’t quite known what to make of each other, but at Dee’s urging, they’d got to know each other better, and both discovered that they rather liked the other.
A quick round of introductions followed and Dee learned that the alpha female’s name was Iryna. Then she had a brief moment to hug Olek and Alexei, the two other men she’d met at the Densmeet. That, too, was a bitter-sweet moment, as a third man she’d got to know, Bohdan, had been killed in a raid by the Noturatii during the gathering. After the battle, the estate had been evacuated as quickly as possible, and she’d never had the chance to say much to the two men about it. But even now, it seemed she wasn’t going to get the opportunity; neither of them spoke English, and with other, far more pressing matters to deal with, she didn’t think Nikolai was likely to just stand around and translate so they could have a proper conversation.
“I assume you want to see the pups now?” Nikolai asked, glancing at Feng.
“The sooner, the better, I think,” he agreed, so Nikolai turned to lead them across the square and towards a small house. Iryna and a few of the others followed them.
“How are they?” Dee asked, walking quickly to keep up with Nikolai, her short stature making it hard to match his longer stride. “We were told their parents were killed by poachers. Are they okay?”
“They’re doing fine,” Nikolai said with a smile. “Look at you, already worrying about things. It’s fine to be concerned, but don’t forget to enjoy being a mother as well.” He winked at her, and Dee felt herself flush. She’d barely sat still since they’d received the news, and given the suddenness of it all, she hadn’t had much chance to think about what sort of mother she would be. She didn’t want to turn into a fretful worrier who wouldn’t let her children out of her sight.
But Faeydir gave her a nudge as she picked up on Dee’s wayward emotions. They were going to have plenty of help, she reminded her, showing her an image of the entire Den gathered around a pair of pups.
“They were not harmed by the poachers,” Nikolai went on, more serious now. “We’ve been bottle-feeding them, and they eat well. We think they’re about three weeks old; their eyes are open, and they’ve begun moving around on their own.” They reached the house and he held the door open for them, then led the way down a dim hallway into a spacious and surprisingly well-lit kitchen. He stopped halfway across the room, and Dee looked past him to see...
“Oh, they’re gorgeous...” She went forward, sinking to her knees beside the makeshift bed of blankets that had been set up in the corner of the kitchen. A female wolf was lying on the blankets, two small, squirming puppies between her front paws, and she wagged her tail as they approached. The puppies themselves were little more than fuzzy balls of fur, stumpy legs working hard as they wobbled about, tiny tails attempting wagging, and Dee was instantly in love.
“Natalia has been caring for them,” Nikolai said softly from behind her. “We've been trying to get them used to human scents and to people coming and going, but they're still a lot more relaxed with a wolf around.”
“May I?” Dee asked the wolf, gesturing towards the closest pup, and Natalia wagged her tail in reply. Dee carefully picked the puppy up – it was a male, she noted in passing – while Mark crouched down beside her, seemingly awestruck by the sight of them. The puppy let out a whine, sniffing her hand curiously. At this age, wolf puppies were highly sociable, easily accepting strangers as they gradually got to know the wolves of their own pack.
“Have you thought of names for them yet?” Nikolai asked.
“Not yet,” Dee replied. “We were only told they were here yesterday.” She grinned as the pup she was holding licked her hand. “I was thinking...” She glanced uncertainly at Mark. “Maybe we could call this one Luke?”
Mark was speechless for a moment, and Dee wished she’d had time to discuss it with him beforehand. But in the rush to get here, her head had been full of other plans, questions on whether they would convert the pups right away, how they were going to behave on the flight back to England, serious conversations with Faeydir about how to discipline wolf puppies, and the subject of names had been well down the list of priorities.
Now, as she watched, she saw Mark’s face flush slightly. Luke had been one of his closest friends, killed by the Noturatii not long before Dee joined the Den, and while she intended the suggestion as a sign of respect, she wasn’t sure what Mark would think of it.
“He would have been honoured,” he said, his voice sounding tight. “Luke it is.”
“If it is not rude, could I suggest a name for the female?” Nikolai asked hesitantly. “If you prefer to choose one yourself, that's fine, of course.”
Dee glanced at Mark, who shrugged. “We’d be happy to take suggestions,” Mark told him.
“Then I would like to suggest Taya.”
One of the men watching on gasped at the mention of the name, and then Iryna said something in Ukrainian that sounded vaguely like a prayer and ended with the word ‘Sirius’. Despite the language barriers, it was clear they’d picked up on the gist of the conversation.
“It sounds like this woman was important to you,” Dee guessed.
“She was a member of our Den, up until last winter,” Nikolai explained. “She was alpha once, before she retired four years ago. A most honourable woman. Then last winter she travelled to Germany and was killed by the Noturatii. She sacrificed her life to save the two children who live in that Den. I believe it would be a fitting memorial for her.”
“Taya would be a wonderful name,” Dee said, after receiving an easy nod from Mark, and then Mark picked up the female pup, slightly smaller than her brother and shyer about exploring her surroundings.
“Hey, little Taya,” he murmured to her. “Welcome to your new family.”
Just at that moment, Faeydir decided she’d had enough of waiting, and she gave Dee an insistent nudge to change forms.
“Faeydir wants to meet them,” Dee explained quickly to Nikolai, not sure what the local protocol was with regards to shifting. Around her own Den, it was customary to announce a shift inside the house, but not so important outside.
Nikolai nodded, then said a few words to the others in Ukrainian, so Dee carefully set the newly-named Luke down and gave Faeydir the all-clear. Her shift was smooth and fast, and the pups seemed bemused, but not alarmed by the sudden change.
Faeydir’s reaction was entirely predictable. After they’d filled in the Council’s application form to adopt children, Dee had begun doing some research. She’d learned plenty about wolf behaviour in general over the past year, but given the rarity of actually having puppies in a Den, there had been no particular lessons on that side of things. But according to the wolf biology books in the library, puppies were a cause for celebration in a wolf pack, the adults eagerly waiting for a new litter to emerge from the den where they had been born, and the entire pack working together to protect, feed and raise the pups. Faeydir’s delight was palpable as she lowered her head to sniff the male pup, licking his head, her tail wagging, and then, when he stumbled about and strayed off the edge of the blanket, she picked him up carefully in her mouth and deposited him back in his makeshift nest.
Why hadn’t Mark shifted as well, she asked Dee, seeming almost offended. How was he going to get to know his own children if he wasn’t willing to learn their smell, their taste? How would he recognise their voices with his inadequate human ears?
Humans recognised their children’s voices perfectly well, Dee told Faeydir, even as her wolf nudged Mark and let out a soft yowl to inform him of her disapproval. And overall, they identified their offspring through sight, not smell.
Mark seemed to take the hint, and he set Taya down next to her brother. He shifted a moment later and followed Faeydir’s lead, sniffing the two pups thoroughly, licking them, and giving a wolfly grin when one of them tried to chew on his jaw.
"We haven’t had much time to discuss converting them," Nikolai said, once the introductions were taken care of. "The Council told us you wish to have human children, and wolf ones as well. Quite the challenge," he mused, though there was nothing in his tone to suggest he disapproved. "Do you want to convert them here, or in England?”
“England,” Feng replied, finally giving in to the desire to bend down and stroke Taya’s ears. “Moving puppies across borders is far easier than trying to get children through. Though we haven’t quite figured out how to get them back to the plane. It’s too far for them to walk, and we can’t just carry them through the forest as humans.”
“We have some ideas,” Nikolai replied. “Olek has been working on them. Come outside and I will show you what we’ve got.” Feng headed out the door, Mark and Iryna following him, and Nikolai waited for Faeydir to move…
"Come on, my wild friend," he said gently, when it became apparent she wasn’t going anywhere. "You will have many years to get to know your puppies. But for now, ten minutes away from them will not kill you."
A whine. A huff. A parting lick. And then Faeydir finally turned and followed Nikolai back out of the house.