Thursday flew by in a blur, and Samantha never showed her face on campus. I texted Fritz a stupid amount of times to double-check she wasn’t seeing him, but he assured me he hadn’t heard a thing from her since the Instagram follow. I even stalked my brother’s accounts to make sure…I didn’t trust that woman, and her silence on my end made me nervous. She was the type of bully you wanted visible. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
It was easier to see her flirt with Christopher or have her make dumb comments to me rather than having no idea what she was up to. But it didn’t matter. The longer she stayed out of my life, the better. My limit on my funds was up in a month, and if she were still sniffing around, I could pay her off. Maybe she’d get bored and find a new target. One could only hope.
It was finally Friday. The final day of the SPIRITS competition. The day we had a school-wide assembly where students would vote for the most creative teachers. Our tie-dye SPIRIT day the day before was probably my least favorite, but that was okay. My heart beat twice as hard that morning when I woke up, and even now, with class starting, the adrenaline kicked in an hour before the assembly started.
One of us would win today, and not only get to pick a training for our team, but also get major bragging rights. I would throw it in his face so hard, he wouldn’t be able to look at me for a week. My competitive drive scared me a little bit, but I was rolling with it. Athletics weren’t my thing, but winning SPIRIT weeks most definitely were. I’d put this on my résumé and wear the badge proudly.
“Good morning, Ms. Carter,” one of my students, Emily, said as she walked into my room. “Did you know that Mr. Callahan is funny and had a fish growing up? I have a fish too. Do you? Fish are my favorite.”
“That is super cool!” I said, making my voice remain positive. “What’s your fish’s name?”
“Ted Red.” She smiled, and her eyes widened at Christopher standing outside his door. “Mr. C! Mr. C! I did the thing you told me to with my homework, and I got it. You are the best!”
“High five, Little E.” He bent down and held out his hand when she went up and high-fived him.
She never smiled at me like that, with awe and wonder and gratitude, and my stomach clenched. When did I care about being the favorite? It was selfish. Kids should have an adult they trusted and liked in their life, and that wasn’t always going to be me. I knew this and was a million percent okay with it.
But why him?
The conflicting emotions hurt my soul. When Emily came back to my class, I forced a smile. The great part about swapping students for certain subjects was to expose them to different teaching styles. I loved that, but it meant Christopher and I shared the same students, and one of us would eventually be favored over the other. He took all things science, and I focused on ELA activities.
“Can I sit on your bouncy ball today for class?” Emily asked, the harsh reminder that my class had the three evil Ts: things, toys, and trinkets. “I want to try them, please!”
“Right, of course.” I nodded at her as I felt Christopher’s gaze digging into my back. Today’s theme was school spirit, and I wore every yellow-and-blue item of clothing I had, from shoes to knee-high socks, to a skirt and leggings and a tank top over a long-sleeve shirt with gloves, face paint, and a hat. Christopher looked okay, but since he was new and couldn’t spend a dime per his own rules, he didn’t have Mountain Elementary swag like I did.
Karma serves him right.
“Nervous about the assembly, Gilly?” he asked, his tone softer than normal. Like he was the wolf trying to be nice to the lamb to trick them. He wasn’t fooling me though.
I puffed out my chest and pursed my lips. “Not really. It’ll be nice to finally win this thing and be done with you. I’ve spent far too much time ensuring I don’t spend a dime.”
His lips quirked up on one side, but the smile faded when Samantha came out of Marisa’s room and headed toward his. She wore a skintight blue body suit and a yellow dress over it. It was tacky and not that appropriate for a school setting, and I had no doubt Larissa would roll her eyes and mumble something under her breath about it. While her outfit made me cringe, her presence didn’t. Seeing her caused relief and my anxiety to spike. It was a horrible combination. But if she was here at the school, she wasn’t with Fritz.
“Christopher, hey you.” She swayed her hips when she went up to him and ran her fingers over his forearms. “You didn’t call me back last night.”
He has her number. Go figure.
He chose not to call me after our one-night stand but had already exchanged numbers with Samantha. Disappointment weighed me down. God, this sucked. I hated how I cared when there were a million reasons why I shouldn’t. He was rude and awful to me. So why did his opinion matter at all?
I walked into my room to escape their exchange and was thankful to see Timmy frowning at his backpack. I needed to stay distracted from the unwanted thoughts plaguing my mind. “What’s wrong, little man?”
“It’s stuck.” He tried pulling it apart again and groaned. “My big brother said I’m weak and small and stupid.”
“Oh, Timmy. You are none of those things.” I got on one knee and showed him how some of the material got stuck in the zipper. “When this happens, you kinda have to pull the material out so it’s free. See?” I pulled, got it free from the metal zipper, and smiled. “I have a big brother, too, and he used to call me mean names.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I was so mad, but I told him it hurt my feelings and that I loved him.”
“Was he nice?”
“We’re best friends now.”
He smiled for a second before looking at the ground again.
“Hey, Timmy, you are going to grow and get stronger and bigger every day, so he might be bigger now, but that doesn’t mean you’re weak or stupid, okay?”
He nodded a few times and sniffed, and without warning, he jumped to give me a hug. I patted his back just as Christopher poked his head into my room, and I swore, for one second, his gaze softened at me.
“Ms. Carter, can I have a word?”
“Sure.” I let go of Timmy and took hesitant steps toward my enemy. “What is it?”
“Clarissa is having a really hard time today because her dog died last night. She’s in my room crying right now. Can she just stay with me until the assembly?”
Oh, my heart broke. “Yes, of course.” I put a hand on my chest and frowned. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I’ll let you know.” He ran a hand over his jaw and held my gaze for one, two, three seconds. He opened his mouth, closed it, and finally said, “She likes me because her older brother is named Cal, and my name reminds her of him. It makes no sense, but that’s why she’s in my room. It’s not anything more than that.”
“No, I’m glad she has you to help. I won’t mark her absent. Let me know if we need to call her parents or the counselor.”
“Right.” His lips curved up on one side of his mouth for half a second before he left, and the rapid pace of my heart had nothing to do with the competition or our past or the assembly and everything to do with the fact he was such a good teacher. He didn’t have the budget I did or the pretty walls or colorful posters. He cared, and his students knew that after one week.
I turned my attention back to the littles in my room and clapped my hands.
“Okay, let’s review our anchor chart for rules and get ready for the assembly!”
Cheers echoed around my room, and I threw myself into the lesson, ignoring Samantha and my brother and the fact Christopher was a good teacher who just hated me.
“Let’s hear a howl!” APD hollered into the microphone so loud, there was an awkward feedback sound over the speaker system. Hundreds of kids put their hands over their ears and winced. “Sorry! Let’s try that again. On three, I want you all to howl for our first assembly of the year!”
“One, two, three!”
Howls and screams carried over the gym and seemed to bounce off the walls as students got excited. Dave was a tough, mean-looking guy, but he had the biggest heart and loved making school a fun place for everyone. He was decked out in a bright-blue suit with a yellow tie and shoes, and anyone else would’ve looked ridiculous, but he pulled it off. “Good morning, Mountain Elementary! We are so excited to have you help us select our staff winners for the SPIRITS competition!”
There were cheers, and Larissa winked at me from three rows down. I wiggled my brows at her and searched for Christopher just to send him a mean look. He sat on the opposite end of the same bleacher section, and his gaze was on me. It was unnerving and almost too intense—bringing me back to that night at the bar when he looked at me like I was special.
He hates me.
He needed to stop looking at me like that if we were going to continue to be enemies. That was for damn sure.
“Kindergarten staff, get on down here please.” Dave clapped his hands as the group of four got up from the bleachers and went to stand in the middle of the gym. They always dressed up as a group each year, not wanting to compete with each other, and it was adorable. Dave rolled his eyes and held up a sheet of paper. “I need you all to clap as loud as you can for this amazing group of ladies. They worked together so well, they are going to get free donuts for all their classes. Does that make you excited?”
It didn’t matter that fifth graders wouldn’t get the donuts. Every kid cheered, and excitement seemed to spurt more excitement. It was contagious. My nerves made my stomach do flip-flops as the kinder teachers went back to their seats. First grade was next.
“Okay, first graders. Please welcome your all-stars!”
Marisa, Maggie, Maria, Christopher, and I moved toward the center of the gym, and every muscle in my body tensed. I plastered on a fake smile because no matter what happened, I would not upset the kids. This was about me and Christopher and our weird past and challenge.
He caught my gaze again and raised his brows, leaning down to whisper to me, “Don’t be upset when you lose.”
“I’m going to kick your ass, Callahan.”
He chuckled and straightened, making our height difference more apparent as we stood shoulder to shoulder. He was a good ten inches taller than me, so I stood as tall as I could and even thought about going on my tiptoes.
Dave got a couple of paper certificates and handed them to the three Ms before thanking them for their participation. He stared at me and Christopher before bringing up three students. “You all know each year that admin scores the teachers on their SPIRIT with a rubric. Well, we have our first ever tie, and we need you all to help us choose who was more creative and innovative. Those are our foundations at Mountain Elementary, so we are going to have three students choose who they think won.”
I gulped and made a fist and hid it in my pocket, still forcing a smile as everyone watched the two of us. This tie-breaker business was new. We never had that the past three years, and Larissa met my eyes and frowned. I glanced at Christopher and enjoyed the absolute look of shock on his face. He thought he had it in the bag, and he didn’t. It felt really good to see him suffer. Now, I just had to win to bring it home.
Dave called three students up toward the center of the gym and handed the mic to a student both Christopher and I shared. Max. Dave bent low and smiled. “Okay, Max, tell us who you think should win. Who was creative and innovative?”
“I think,” he said, taking a long breath and shifting his weight onto his feet. “I think Ms. Carter should win because she always comes up with new ideas to help me with my art. I never stay in the lines, and she says that’s okay. She makes me feel smart.”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. My eyes stung as I bent down and pulled Max into a hug. He squeezed me as tight as he could with his little arms, and Dave moved to the next student. There was a light cheer in the gym, but I was so happy at Max’s response, it filled my whole heart with joy.
“Emily, what do you think?” Dave asked, moving on to the second student standing near us.
I let go of Max and patted him on the shoulder before watching Emily.
She let out a loud hmm for a full ten seconds, making everyone laugh. She grinned wide and stared right at me. “I like Ms. Carter because she’s safe and reminds me of my mom when she tells me she cares for me and helps me when I’m confused.”
Okay, tears for real now. I pulled Emily into a hug and didn’t care about the cheers or the competition anymore. It was stupid to get caught up in Christopher’s crap when this was the reason I taught. For this. The relationships and trust and sense of family. “You’re the best, Emily.”
She beamed at me and hugged my leg as Dave walked toward the final student. Henry was shy and wore glasses that were a little too large for his face. Dave repeated the question.
Henry took the mic and mumbled into it in his small voice, looking straight at the ground. “Uh, I think Ms. Carter is creative because she always lets us try things and doesn’t yell if we mess up.”
“Well, there you have it, Mountains. Ms. Carter is the winner for first grade!” Dave said, the gym clapping again for me as he held out a fist.
I bumped mine against his and didn’t care that I had tears on my face. My heart was three sizes too big for my chest, and I didn’t pay attention to the rest of the assembly. I didn’t even look at Christopher once because my whole reason for being was validated. My job was my life, and all the doubt Christopher put into my mind evaporated. I kept thinking about what the students said, why they liked me. They never once mentioned the things I had in the room or the tools or treats I brought them. It was about how they felt in my classroom, and it was what I tried to emulate every day. A safe, fun, creative place for students to learn and create memories for a lifetime.
I was more than my flash and colors, and it was good to remember that.
“Hey.”
A voice pulled me from my roller coaster of emotion, and I blinked a few times before turning to see Christopher moving to sit down right next to me on the bleachers. He didn’t leave more than two inches between our legs, and I had the urge to scoot over.
“I don’t want to hear a word unless it’s nice job, Ms. Carter. Don’t ruin this for me, please. I needed it today.” I took a breath, and my throat felt heavy, like the air was peanut butter and I was trying to breathe it in. “If you’re worried about the training I’ll select, don’t worry. It won’t be about how to decorate a classroom or bribe your students into liking you.”
He winced, like I wanted him to, and it was the first time he looked ashamed of himself. His face paled, and his lips parted an inch before he sighed. “You’ll pick something about literacy, won’t you?”
“Yes, because that is something I’m passionate about. Now, excuse me.” I got up, leaving him sitting there with a confused look stretched across his face. I thought winning would feel better after seeing Christopher, but it didn’t. My body was weighed down in disappointment in the fact that the student’s answers shocked him so much. So it couldn’t possibly be true.
I clapped for the rest of the assembly and didn’t have to fake my smile when I went back to my class to finish day. The students were thrilled for me and let me know all day, and my dark cloud left the longer I was around them. It wasn’t until the last student got on the bus for the day that Samantha stood next to me outside, the closest person to us at least twenty yards away.
“I’ll see you Monday, Gilly. Better figure out some solution for me. You are so innovative and creative, right? You’ll figure it out, dear, Ms. Carter.” She curved her pink lips into a menacing grin and winked before strutting in the other direction.
I had two and a half days to figure out what the hell I was going to do.