Carolyn was running out of excuses not to head back to New York. The first few days after Richard had appeared at the ranch were a blur. She’d watched the police take him and his accomplice away, then she and Carter had followed the vet to his office where Jester had undergone every test known to man and been deemed healthy besides a broken rib and a cut above his eye that required fifteen stitches. The rest was all paperwork at the police station, interviews with detectives and fielding calls from lawyers that specialized in everything from criminal and corporate law to divorce.
Kyle had come to visit and was surprised when Carolyn hadn’t wanted to fly back with him on the Ashford family jet. Carolyn had even received a call of sympathy and concern from her father, which was just plain unlike him. Maybe her brother had asked him to call…
But now, here she was, one week after the attack, and Carter was more distant than ever. She’d had the most sensuous experience of her life with him and now he acted as though they were simply close platonic friends. She couldn’t complain…he was attentive and always finding excuses to work beside Carolyn in the attic, but he’d already gone through his father’s things and was on his last antique chest. After that, what happened? Carolyn wanted him more than ever, but she was running out of time.
“Jester,” she said, looking up from her sketchbook and pointing to a gorgeous scrap of forest-green brocade. “Fabric.”
With his tail wagging side to side, Jester followed the direction of her finger with his gaze to the far side of the table and fetched the swatch, and then he trotted it over to her.
“Good boy.” She took the fabric from his mouth and replaced it with a tiny training biscuit. When she sighed deeply and stared out the window instead of holding the fabric up to the sketch, Jester sat and looked up at her, as if saying, I’m all ears.
“I have to leave soon, buddy. I have to go back to New York.” He didn’t look as upset about this as she felt. Of course, he’d never been to the big city.
“You’re going back soon?” Carter asked from the door.
She jumped and then put a hand to her chest. “Jeez. This isn’t a special op. Learn to make some noise.”
He smiled but was quiet, watching her intently as though waiting for an answer.
“Well, I told you I’d only be here a month. I can’t stay forever.”
“You can’t?” He shook his head. “I mean, of course you can’t. You have a life waiting for you.”
She shrugged. “Well, in the least, I have a court date waiting for me. Getting officially divorced is going to be the second-best moment of my life.”
He leaned against the door jamb. “What was the first?”
She swallowed. Could she tell him? She’d thought maybe he was falling for her like she’d fallen for him, but then in the past week, he hadn’t so much as kissed her cheek. She just paused and stared back at him for a long while. Richard had told her before that she was weak. She hadn’t really known she could be brave until coming to this ranch. But now she knew she had the guts to pull the trigger. “It was meeting you. That was the best moment of my life.”
He exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. “Beauty…”
“So what happened? It’s like when Richard busted in, you mentally walked out.”
Carter folded his arms across his chest and his brows drew low. “You’ve been through too much. You don’t need a dusty rancher nipping at your heels and complicating your life. You deserve better than this place. You were born for better. And once your divorce goes through, you can find it, Carolyn.”
“Better than you? Better than this ranch?” she asked, and he just nodded. “I’ve been all around the world, and I’ve never seen better. Don’t push me away.”
Carter searched her face, not daring to believe he could somehow be enough. “I’m not trying to push you away, I’m trying to do the right thing. I’m trying to protect you.”
“Good Lord. From what, Carter? From sex? From happiness?”
“From making a mistake.”
“Jester—out,” she told the dog, pointing toward the doorway and snapping her fingers. Jester cocked his head, as though trying to process her betrayal, but he knew what she was saying. “Go on, buddy,” she told him. “All junior designers get the night off.” He walked into the hall, and Carter closed the door behind him.
“You just broke his heart,” Carter told her.
“Better that than corrupt his innocence.”
He couldn’t help his snicker. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Come here, cowboy.” She crooked her finger at him and he pushed away from the door. She was tiny compared to him, but she might as well have tethered him to a team of Clydesdales with the power her pull had on him.
He walked across the room and came to stand before her. “I don’t want to be a mistake you look back on when this ends.”
Carolyn wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed against him. “I’m still here. Show me how happy that makes you, because I’ve missed this body.” Her hand slid from his chest to his groin, and his cock gave a mighty throb.
He ground against her palm, wanting this woman like he’d wanted no other. “Will you miss…this attic?” He’d wanted to ask if she would miss him, but if she’d said yes, he might beg her not to go.
“Of course I’m going to miss it. It’s where I do my magic.” She stepped back and slid her arms from him. “Do me a favor…close your eyes. I want you to finally see the fruits of your labor and all those trips into town you were griping about.” Carter closed his eyes and heard the sound of Carolyn fumbling with the plugs. “Now open them.”
He opened his eyes to see all the lights they’d strung across the attic ceiling over these past few weeks. They were glorious, shining like her hair when it caught the morning sun. “It’s amazing, beauty.”
There were still things to be organized, a few of his father’s boxes he couldn’t quite bring himself to part with and open trunks along the walls, but Carolyn had transformed this place into a wonderland. She’d taken the attic and all the bad memories Carter had had there and had effectively claimed them as her own, like an explorer who pitched her flag on barren ground and transformed it into a vibrant, thriving landscape, bringing life to a place that had always felt dead to him.
“I’ve never felt more inspired than in this space.”
She was standing there in a simple white dress, not cut too sexy, but Carter’s dick pounded like the beat of a tribal drum. “It’s as lovely as you are.”
“So…”
There was a mischievous light in her eyes, and he was eager to hear where this went. “Yes?”
“For the past few weeks, I’ve been sitting in this room, trying to put the images of you out of my head so I could work.”
“Really?” He smiled. She’d been wanting him that long? He was part flattered and part frustrated. They just didn’t have enough time left.
She dug through her larger bolts of fabric and selected one that was light green and velvety. “What’s that one called?” he asked.
She walked to the window and laid the fabric across a trunk. “It’s called Carter green.”
“Really?”
She laughed. “No. But let’s make it yours. If I have to go, I don’t want to waste another minute. Make my fantasy come true, cowboy.”
He stalked to her and took her in his arms, kissing her hard on the lips. Her hands ran down his back, straight to his jeans. She pulled them down with his boxers and let them pool at his feet. “That’s a good look on you,” she said.
He stepped out of the heap of clothes, kicking it to the side. “So tell me how to make this fantasy come true.”
Carolyn swallowed. Carter had such a beautiful body. Such refined strength in every facet and cut of his muscled limbs and torso. He was a sight to see. But when her gaze hit his cock, it wouldn’t budge. His cock was thick and proud, straining from his body, and all of that was hers…for tonight anyway. How could she tell him that what they were about to do was only one part of her fantasy. The other part was too difficult to share.
How could she tell him her ultimate dream was to figure out a way they could explore a future together? She’d never been as happy or as free as here at Halston Ranch. But all she’d known was rejection from the men that mattered most. From someone she wanted as much as Carter, it would snuff the spark she’d tried so desperately to hold on to. “My fantasy…”
He pressed close to her and tightened the circle of his arms around her shoulders, leaning in to press a hungry kiss to her neck. “Anything you want, I will do for you.”
She walked him backward a step until his calves hit the trunk. “You don’t have to do anything. Just be you. That’s enough for me.” She pushed him down to straddle the trunk like he was riding a horse.
When she got on her knees and kissed his rock-hard cock, he hissed in a breath. Her fingers fondled his balls, she couldn’t help it with him on display like that, his thighs splayed and his bare feet flat on the wood boards of the attic floor.
“Shit. What have you done to me? I look at you in this room with your twinkly lights and everything covered in rainbows of fabric, and I don’t think I’ll change one damn thing when you’re gone. I always want it to look like this, so I can remember every day I was lucky enough to have you in my life.”
His words were pure pleasure and pain. He wouldn’t have to try so hard to remember if he would just ask her to stay.
“Stand up, beauty. Let’s get you out of that dress. I want to see every part of you.”
She stood between his legs with the trunk brushing her shins and slowly lifted her arms. He slid the dress over her head, trailing his touch over her skin. Soon she was standing in front of him in nothing but her lacy, floral white bra and panties. “You are the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”
She was at just the right height to press her breasts against his face. She took his cheeks in her hands, kissing the top of his head and drawing his unique scent deep into her lungs. She’d never felt this way until meeting Carter. Not even on her best day with Richard or any man before him. If she’d known she could care this much about someone, she would have known that everything that went before it was just a sham.
Carter began kissing her breasts through the lace of her bra. He wet the fabric and made circles around her nipples with his tongue. Carolyn didn’t wait for his permission, she reached back, unhooked her bra and tossed it across the room, then she thrust her breasts toward his mouth.
“Don’t be gentle,” she said. She needed to feel how much he wanted her. If this was all she got, she wanted to walk away remembering his passion. She swallowed. She’d always wanted to know what it would feel like to have a man’s hand come down on her ass, but she’d never felt safe enough to ask. She would never be safer than she was with Carter. “Will you…spank me? Just once?”
He sucked her nipple deep into his mouth and squeezed her ass hard, then slid her panties down her legs and rewarded her with a hearty smack on her rump. “You like that?”
She moaned her response and stuck her ass out a little farther, teasing her nipple against his lips. The slight sting on her skin lit up the nerve endings from her ass to her very wet pussy. “Again.”
He met her eyes. “Are you sure?”
She put her hand over his and slid it to her ass in response. His gaze went to the side view of her rump and he brought his hand down harder, making them both groan out loud. When a trickle of moisture ran down her inner thigh, Carter traced it with his finger. “Come here, baby. Sit on my thigh. I want your juices on me.”
Carolyn smiled and dropped down only far enough to feel the lips of her wet pussy graze his thigh. “Like this?”
He chuckled and grasped her hips, making her come down harder on him, hard enough that her clit was crying out, throbbing and needy. She couldn’t wait any longer. She didn’t just want this man. She needed him. And admitting that to herself was one of the most frightening steps she’d ever taken. “Condom,” she panted.
He pointed to his jeans. “In my wallet.”
She fetched his wallet and pulled the small foil package from within, then she opened it and rolled it down his length, relishing the feel of his thick crown and every vein adorning his shaft. His cock was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.
She positioned her legs around his and slid lower, kissing his forehead, his chin, his neck, until she felt the blunt tip of his cock pressing at her entrance. She stared into his eyes as she slowly worked herself onto his shaft. If she hadn’t been so wet, it might have been too tight of a fit, but she was slippery for him, coating his shaft in her cream as she sank down.
And when she was fully seated atop him, his fingers sank into her hips and his gaze burned into her. “I want you to stay,” he told her, and she froze.
Had she just heard him right? She lifted up a couple of inches and dropped back into his lap, making his lip curl and his hands tighten on her. “I’d pitch a tent on this cock if I could,” she teased. “But I can’t stay in your lap forever. I think you’ll need it back eventually.”
He brought one hand to her nape and took her hair in his fist, kissing her hard, his tongue delving into her mouth until he pulled back and said quietly against her lips, “I mean here, in my home, with me.”
Her eyes filled with tears and she grasped his head until they were face-to-face, kissing, gasping, clutching at each other like their plane was about to go down. She rose up on him and he thrust up to meet her, making sensations of pleasure rocket through her clit. “We’ve only lived together a few weeks. You can’t know you want me to stay.”
But maybe that was just her fear talking, because she knew she wanted to. She never wanted to leave the circle of this man’s arms.
He took her hips once again in his grip and his thrusts became more powerful. It was hard to think clearly when he did that to her. “I’m not asking you to marry me. I know you’re just getting out of a bad marriage, and I know you have plans in New York. I’m just saying…I think I love you. All I want is a chance to see where this could go.”
She was crying now and she didn’t know if it was because Carter felt so damn good inside her that she was starting to sweat, trying not to come since he’d chosen this moment to say these things. Or if the tears were induced by the word love. Such a loaded word. So easily said and so easily taken back. “You think you love me?”
His nostrils flaring and his hips working her, he nodded. “Yeah. What do you think of that?”
“I would love to be loved by you.”
His breath was coming faster now, his eyes focused intently on her face, all passionate, possessive male. “And do you think you could ever feel the same?”
“I already think I do.” But she couldn’t rush something this real. These feelings she felt for Carter had sprouted on their own in the most unlikely soil, and she wanted to give them time to see if the blossom faded at the first frost, or if it had the staying power of a perennial. She’d never known lasting devotion. She’d never known that unconditional love people spoke of. But if she could have that kind of love with Carter, yes. She wanted it. But how would she know?
She closed her eyes and just emptied her mind for one beautiful second, where the only thing that existed was this point where her body and Carter’s became one. “I could tell you about fabric,” she said. “I have the vocabulary to talk about it for hours. But love? I don’t know the words for that.”
He turned his face away, but his fingers dug into her back, his hips never losing their rhythm. “It’s all right, Carolyn. This is enough.”
She leaned in and kissed him, her breath huffing against his lips with every thrust of his shaft. “All I can tell you is this,” she said, “when I see you in the morning, something in me feels lighter, like everything is going to be all right.”
His eyes were guarded now, but he watched every word fall from her lips. “Okay…”
“And every night, I want to be by your side, exactly like this, with you inside me, a part of me.” She punctuated her words by grinding herself deeper onto his cock and he groaned.
“God, I want that.”
“And I usually miss you around lunch time, too. And I think about you when I’m supposed to be working. And I’ve spent so many hours thinking about how I would dress our babies that I might actually make a boutique infant clothing line.”
Carter almost choked on his saliva, but it came out as a burst of laughter. “Yeah?”
“So I don’t know if that’s love, but I can’t not feel that for you. I’m not ready to give you up. I’ll never be ready.”
With a growl, he kissed her again square on the lips. “That works for me, beauty. Down to the baby clothes if that’s what you want. I don’t know what kind of father I would be, but for you, I would try like hell to be a good one.”
She was overwhelmed with sensation, her clit lighting up at the rhythm of her body meeting her man’s, but even that wasn’t as strong as this pressure in her chest. This expansive warmth she felt spreading to her whole being when she was with Carter. “That works for me, cowboy.”
Maybe it was her words, or maybe he just couldn’t wait any longer, but Carter looked like he wanted to devour her. He rose to his feet with Carolyn still wrapped around him and walked her to the worktable he had bought for her, laying her down on the cool surface as he stood over her and made her body come undone with the way his thick cock stretched her and his balls slapped against her ass.
She stared into his eyes, but her lids were growing heavy with the desire to let go. With one hand tightly grasping her hip, Carter used the thumb of his other hand to delve between them and massage her clit. She gasped and thrust against him, her body consuming his with every slap against her pelvis. “Please…yes,” she begged, needing release.
“You take your time, beauty. I’m not going anywhere.”
She wasn’t sure exactly what promises had passed between them, but she promised herself that this amazing thing she’d found with Carter wouldn’t stop here tonight. She dug her fingers into his sides as he pumped into her, her body going white hot as her orgasm shook her to her core. And when Carter saw her come undone, he thrust harder, ramming himself into her body until at last, he held and spilled inside her.
After a minute, he picked Carolyn up off the table in his strong arms and went to sit in the office chair where she’d been so happy these past weeks, and he simply held her, her face pressed to his damp chest and his cheek caressing the top of her head.
There were different kinds of love, Carolyn knew. But as Carter held her, she was starting to believe in something that she’d always thought couldn’t really exist—eternal love. If he loved her and she loved him, then it was as though they’d found the perfect black dress of life, and all the other details were just the accessories.