When Felix got home that evening and saw that the car was not in its garage, he guessed Daphne had gone to Bristol to see Jane. She hadn’t told him she was going, but after her rejection of him that morning he wasn’t particularly surprised and knew a guilty relief himself at not having to face her again over supper. He looked to see if she’d left him anything, but there was nothing. No note, no food, no hint of when she’d be home. He shrugged, they’d had spats like this before... well, ever since they were married, really. He supposed it was normal for married couples to have their ups and downs, though he didn’t remember his parents arguing, certainly not in front of him, but perhaps they had but had kept them for the bedroom.
He looked in the pantry and found himself some bread, some cheese, some home-grown tomatoes and made himself a sandwich. He’d promised to go over to Blackdown House sometime to try and clear out a blocked gutter that was causing a problem. It wasn’t the first time Charlotte had turned to him for such help and he was happy to provide it.
‘I hope you don’t mind me asking,’ she said. ‘It’s just that I don’t like to ask my father-in-law. I’d worry about him at the top of a ladder.’
‘But not me?’ Felix had enquired with a grin.
‘You’re not as old as he is,’ Charlotte retorted.
‘Charlotte, of course I don’t mind. I’ll come over and do it one evening this week. OK?’
As Daphne wasn’t at home and couldn’t complain about him going out again, he might as well go this evening.
It was a lovely sunny evening and though autumn was drawing nearer, there was still warmth in the sun on his face as he walked through the village and up the lane to Blackdown House. Bessie, Charlotte’s dog, barked as he opened the gate and Charlotte greeted him at the door.
He looked at her, standing barefoot at the door, wearing dungarees and a striped shirt, her hair loose about her head, and he thought, not for the first time, what a beautiful girl she was.
‘Felix!’ she exclaimed, her face lighting up with a smile. ‘I didn’t know you were coming.’
‘Come to clear that gutter,’ he said, returning her smile. ‘Now a good time?’
‘Fine. The children are all in bed, Molly’s just gone home and I was just going to sit down with a cup of tea. D’you want one?’
‘Better do the gutter first,’ he replied, ‘before the light goes. Where’s your ladder?’
‘In the shed. Hold on and I’ll put my shoes on and come and hold it steady for you.’
By the time she’d found her shoes and put them on, Felix had fetched the ladder and was setting it up against the side of the house.
‘Certainly needs doing,’ he said as she came out to join him. ‘Looks completely clogged up. Look, you can see there are actually weeds growing in it! That’s what’s causing the damp patch on the wall underneath.’
He climbed the ladder and Charlotte stood on the bottom rung to hold it firm. He reached his hand over the edge of the gutter and began pulling the damp mass of leaves which filled and overflowed from it.
‘You’re going to get covered in muck standing underneath,’ Felix warned her.
‘Hang on a minute,’ she called and ducking into the back porch, returned a moment later with a large black umbrella. She took her place back on the bottom of the ladder again, holding the umbrella over her head, protected as the detritus from the gutter rained down about her.
It took over half an hour to clear that particular section of guttering, and the sun had dipped behind the hills, dusk creeping across the garden.
‘It’s getting too dark, Felix,’ Charlotte called. ‘Come down, it’s too dangerous. You’ve done the worst part.’
When Felix finally came down the ladder he was splattered with muck, his face and his hair had an overlay of mulch and his hands were black.
Charlotte burst out laughing when she saw him. ‘You’re filthy,’ she cried. ‘I doubt Daphne’ll want you back looking like that. Come in and clean up and I’ll make us that tea. If you’ve got time for it, that is?’
‘Certainly have,’ Felix assured her, wondering as he followed her indoors if Daphne’d want him back at all.
When he had removed the worst of the dirt, he came back into the kitchen to find Charlotte pouring tea into two mugs.
‘Sorry I can’t offer you anything stronger,’ she said, ‘but I haven’t got anything.’
‘Tea’s fine,’ Felix said and pulling out a chair sat down at the kitchen table.
‘I’m glad you’ve come, actually,’ Charlotte said as she sat down opposite and stirred her tea. ‘Not just for the gutter, but thanks for doing that. I wanted to ask you something.’
‘Fire away.’
‘Well, the vicar was asking me about having the twins christened.’
‘Are you going to?’
‘Yes, of course. The other two have been and the Shepherds would be most upset if Davy and Danny weren’t. Anyway, the vicar suggested that I gave some thought to godparents and I wondered,’ she hesitated and looked across at him, ‘Felix, I wondered whether you’d consider being godfather?’
‘Me?’
Charlotte had given careful thought to the question of godparents. She wanted Felix to be godfather to both the boys. He had been there when Billy had had his accident, he’d done everything possible to help save him. He’d been the first person she’d told about the twins. He was a man she felt she could rely on.
‘Don’t sound so surprised.’
‘Well, I am a bit. Godfather to which?’
‘Both.’
‘Both! Are you sure?’ Felix sounded incredulous. ‘I mean, I’d be honoured, but aren’t there other people who ought to be asked? Dr Masters, perhaps?’
Charlotte smiled. ‘Yes,’ she agreed, ‘but they need two godfathers each and he’s already said yes.’
‘Well,’ Felix’s cheeks coloured with pleasure, ‘if you’re really sure, I’d be delighted.’
‘Mrs Vicar’s going to be their godmother. With the three of you I know they’ll be well looked after.’
Felix walked home through the gloaming with a spring in his step. He had no children of his own, he never would have, but he now had two little boys who would be as special to him as he could make them. Today had started off badly, but it was finishing on a high note, a note of exhilaration.
When he got home, Daphne was still out, but Felix didn’t care. He hugged the secret to himself and didn’t even mention it to her when she finally got home. She was in cheerful mood when she walked through the door, the antagonism of the morning seemed forgotten, as Felix locked up behind her and they went up to bed
‘I don’t know why she asked you,’ Daphne said over the breakfast table next morning when Felix told her of Charlotte’s request. ‘Just wanted the babies to have the squire as their godfather, I suppose. Thinks you’ll leave them loads of money in your will.’
Felix, startled by such a remark, stared at her. ‘Actually,’ he said, coolly, ‘I think it was because I was there to help after Billy’s accident.’
Daphne shrugged. ‘I suppose...’ she conceded, ‘maybe.’
The christening was a quiet affair, just the family and the godparents in a simple service. They gathered round the font, everyone aware of the space beside Charlotte where Billy should have stood. Charlotte felt the ever-present ache in her heart as the boys received their names, but she held herself rigid, determined not to break down again. Her grief, though still acute, was something she indulged only when she was alone.
Molly had become a fixture. She arrived every morning and stayed until the children were all in bed in the evening. She’d had no idea what she wanted to do now she’d left school, but in helping Charlotte she’d discovered that she was completely happy, working with babies and young children.
Charlotte began giving music lessons. Pupils came to her house, and with Molly there to look after the children, she could take them into the sitting room and open up Miss Edie’s piano. She was a good teacher and before long she had several regulars. Though she wasn’t actually short of money, it was another source of income which, having discussed it with her parents-in-law, allowed her to employ Molly properly. Molly was thinking of applying to train as a nursery nurse, but in the meantime she was gaining ample first-hand experience, helping with four children under six.
Charlotte’s life settled into a routine. Johnny started school and Edie went to nursery two mornings a week. Life was not easy but at least it became manageable. Charlotte had always been a survivor and with the help of her family and friends, she was beginning to survive Billy’s death.