CHAPTER 6

The Cowboy

Chloe had always wanted to be a cowboy for Halloween. But every year her parents bought her a cowgirl outfit. Chloe thought cowgirl outfits were lame. They were pink and frilly and had skirts instead of chaps. She wanted a real cowboy outfit, with a pair of six-shooters and a mean mustache.

Chloe thought mustaches were cool—which they are.

This year, Chloe ordered her costume herself. She got it online. (Did you know you can get all sorts of stuff online? Like video games and comic books and big tubs of popcorn? You did know? Why didn’t you tell me?! So rude! Anyway…)

“Cool mustache!” said Lily.

“Cool six-shooters!” said William.

“Are those spurs on the back of your cowboy boots?” Jacob asked. “Awesome!”

“Why, thank ya kindly, pard’ners,” she said in a gruff voice.

“What happened to your voice?” Sophia asked.

“Nuttin’, honey,” Chloe said. “This is how ah always talk.”

“Uh, no, it’s not,” said Emma.

“Uh-oh, it’s happened to her, too,” Olivia said. “She really thinks she’s a cowboy.”

“What d’ya mean thinks?! Ah am a cowboy. Done earned that title after workin’ the horse ranch over in Abilene,” Chloe growled.

“No, you’re not,” Olivia said. She pulled at Chloe’s mustache. Yet no matter how hard she pulled, it wouldn’t come off.

“OW!” Chloe roared. “You’re darn lucky you’re a lady and ah’m a gentleman and a cowboy. Otherwise, ah’d show ya a thing or two with my fists.”

“The mustache is real!” Olivia gasped.

“Yeah, right,” Jacob said. “You’re just not pulling hard enough.” Jacob grabbed Chloe’s mustache and gave the hardest yank he could muster. He practically pulled Chloe’s face off.

“Mister, ah suggest you run,” Chloe growled. She took the lasso from her belt and started swinging it in the air. Jacob barely made it halfway across the room when the rope caught him around the waist. Chloe pulled him in, pushed him to the ground, and tied his hands and feet behind his back and put a sock in his mouth. “Consider yourself hog-tied, mister. And let this be a lesson to ya—never go around pulling a man’s mustache. It’s darn tootin’ rude.”

“Am I dreaming?” Mason asked. “This feels like a dream. Like the time I dreamt I came to school naked.”

“That wasn’t a dream,” said Mark. “You forgot to get dressed yesterday.”

“Stop talking! Let me think for a minute,” Olivia shouted. She rubbed her brain. After all, she was the smartest student in the class. It was up to her to fix things. “Okay. I think people are actually becoming their Halloween costumes. But how? If we can figure that out, maybe we can reverse the effects.”

“What’s that smell?” Ethan asked, pinching his nose.

“Ugh. Someone really needs to change Liam,” Fatima yelped.

“Ain’t no thang,” Cowboy Chloe said. “Ah’ll take care of it. Can’t be worse than helping a mare give birth to a foal.”

But Chloe was wrong. As soon as she opened Liam’s diaper, a terrible smell overtook the classroom. The smell was so awful that Sophia threw up, which made Ethan throw up, which made Ximena throw up, which made Dev throw up. Surprisingly, Santiago (who was usually sick) did not throw up.

“Dang, this is a mess!” Chloe said. “Lucky for y’all, a good cowboy always brings gloves to work.…” Chloe put on her gloves and changed Liam’s diaper. She opened the door to Classroom 13 and tossed it down the school hallway.

Afterward, everyone cheered. She deserved it. Changing dirty diapers is terrible business. Have you ever changed a dirty diaper? I highly recommend skipping it—if you can.