42

We weren’t getting a dog. That’s what Dad said. I have to admit, it wasn’t a big surprise. We aren’t the kind of family that gets a dog. We’re the kind of family that dog-sits. It’s sad but it’s true. It costs lots of money to have a dog. Dad said we could ask Poppy to borrow Rupert whenever we want.

“What about a goldfish?” suggested Dad. “You can each have your own.”

“Fith! Fith!” said Sam. “One fith, two fith.”

“What can you do with a fish?” I asked. “A fish doesn’t come when you call it. It can’t do tricks. It can’t do anything. It looks embarrassed because all it can do is swim around in its bowl.”

“Embarrassed?” said my dad. “Why would a fish be embarrassed? I don’t think fish have feelings.”

“Exactly!” I said. “Fish don’t have feelings. Why would I want a pet that has no feelings?”

“If you don’t want a goldfish, then maybe we can think of something else,” Dad said.

At least we were talking about a reward. That was something. Something was better than nothing.

And then I thought of the perfect thing.

“Maybe our reward should be another movie night,” I said. “That wouldn’t cost any money. We could do it right this time. We wouldn’t come home in the middle of the night. We’d stay in the tent the whole night long. And we’d have waffles in the morning.”

“That’s a great idea!” said Dad. “Mom and I can stay in the house with Poppy and Rupert. You and Sam can stay in the tent by yourselves.”

“Maybe Max can come, too!” I said. “Can he, Dad?”

“I don’t see why not,” he said.

“Is that a yes?” I asked.

“It’s a maybe,” he said.

That sounded like a YES to me.

I was ready to write to Max.

from: Henry <9999Henry9999@jmail.com>

to: Max <Maxwell_Julycamper@campkanakwa.com>

subject: Dear Dingus

Dear Dingus,

Do you want to go camping with me and Sam in Poppy’s backyard when you get back from your camp? We did it last night. We watched cartoons outside with Poppy’s old movie projector. We had hot dogs and root beer and marshmallows. It was wicked!

Sorry I didn’t write sooner. I’ve been busy. Me and my dad and Sam did bottle rockets like we did at school.

Sorry your camp is co-ed. What’s the deal with Gretchen Thorn? I keep seeing her everywhere. She’s always walking her little wiener dog. Today I saw her with this bulldog called Winston. Guess who Winston belongs to? Mr. Buntrock! Gretchen said she’s going to be his dog-walker. I wouldn’t mind being a dog-walker.

Dad and Sam and I are dog-sitting Rupert. He ran away for a bit earlier today but then we found him.

Sorry you’re on the vegetarian meal plan.

When are you going to town to watch the movie? What movie are you going to see? Are you finally going to see The Revenge of Gravity Man? Are you really going to eat two hamburgers? You might regret it. Just saying.

When are you coming home?

Later gator,

Your Friend,

Dingus

P.S. Being a dingus isn’t really a bad thing. I think it pretty much describes both of us. You’re a dingus. I’m a dingus. We’re like the Dingus brothers.