One: Finding Courage
The crackling fire usually so comforting on a cold night did little to dispel Hallie's anxiety. Staring into the flames, she took deep breaths and closed her eyes, but her mind refused any semblance of peace.
Tom, why did you have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Why did fate send you to St. Louis on the same day as a tornado?
In the week since Thomas’s burial, Hallie and Timmy had mourned his loss, although in different ways. Usually outgoing and rambunctious, Timmy became reserved and quiet, while Hallie, hoping to still her fears for a while, weeded flower beds and scrubbed and cleaned the cabin that had been her home with her husband and childhood sweetheart for the past seven years.
Now, with Timmy in bed and her head drooping from exhaustion—sorrow, laced with fear of the future for her son and herself—could no longer be held at bay, and her tears coursed unhindered. That awful day when Pastor Murdock galloped to her farm with the sad news of her husband's demise replayed itself in her mind. The kindly pastor had tried to offer some consolation by explaining that Thomas, shielding a little girl from debris thrown by the tornado and saving her life, was struck himself, and according to the deputy, most likely did not suffer since he never regained consciousness.
The thought of her sweet husband being so brave brought a fresh wave of tears, but for a few minutes Hallie allowed herself the unreasonable feeling of anger toward Thomas for dying and leaving her and Timmy alone. Her anger was soon replaced with self-pity because now they had nothing, all their worldly belongings having been sold a month earlier in anticipation of their upcoming travel.
Finally, with her anger and sorrow spent, Hallie inhaled a shuddering breath, stared into the orange flames, and resolved to find a solution to her dilemma. Methodically, she inventoried her predicament—she had no home, no employment, and practically no belongings. What she did have, however, was the reason for Thomas's trip to St. Louis. In his pocket were three tickets for passage aboard the steamboat Mirabella leaving in mid April from St. Louis to Westport Landing. She also had enough money to purchase a wagon, oxen, and supplies necessary to continue from Westport with the train headed west on the Oregon Trail.
You have more than that; you have the dream Thomas inspired.
For the first time in days, Hallie smiled.
Tom, your dream of adventure and new beginnings was infectious.
For a few minutes, she envisioned the land her husband had diligently researched—the Willamette Valley in Oregon. Even now, his enthusiastic voice rang in her ears. "It's the next best thing to heaven, honey. So beautiful it steals your breath away. We'll start a new farm with crops that fairly burst from the ground they're so happy at being sown. We'll build a home to last through generations. We'll have the adventure of a lifetime. Can't you hear the Cry of the West? Come on, Hallie, say you'll consider it."
A log popped, hissed, and crumbled, the sound bringing Hallie back to the present and crumbling her memory of that magic moment—but not her reply, which was the same today as it had been on that glorious day—"Yes, I'll go!"
Shoring up her resolve to continue onward to Oregon, Hallie determined that her next step was to hire a man to drive the wagon she'd purchase in Westport. She would have to budget carefully in order to pay him and the expenses of their journey, as well as the beginnings of her new life in Oregon, but it was all doable.
Finally, she dozed in her rocking chair dreaming of beautiful Oregon, a new state full of opportunity in this vast United States