part0028

I knew that if Biro and I went to the police we’d have a hard time convincing them that Adam was the stalker and we’d just sound like a couple of hysterical teenagers. And even if we’d gone to the police, I couldn’t have kept that from Dad, anyway.

It was horrible telling Dad all about Adam and how I thought I was in love with him. Beyond embarrassing.

I’m still not sure about Adam; I can’t help it, he was so convincing. I don’t doubt for a minute that he was stalking Mum but what if he didn’t realise he was stalking her? He must be ill, mustn’t he? Because he sounded so believable that he must truly believe they were in a relationship. I keep telling myself that it was just a crush but it’s hard to just turn off my feelings – one minute I hate him and the next I want to forgive him.

Dad didn’t need any convincing about going to the police, he thinks Adam is dangerous and needs to be stopped. I don’t know what the police will do – Adam has Mum’s scarf but I can’t see them arresting him.

Although, Dad says that they’ll take us seriously because they’d reported it to them in the months before she died.

Dad is absolutely furious that I’ve been into Adam’s house.

I didn’t want to tell him that bit but there was really no way around it; how could I tell him about the scarf if I hadn’t been in Adam’s house? I thought about lying but then I thought there have been too many lies and things unsaid so I may as well just confess and get it over with.

And I couldn’t think of a believable lie either; and it’ll all come out anyway because we’ll have to tell the police and I’m not looking forward to that.

As soon as we’d finished telling Dad, Biro played the recording. Dad wouldn’t look at me when he was listening to it; he just looked at the floor but I could see his face was flushed and I thought he was going to cry.

I felt like a traitor; twice a week I was having cosy meetings with Mum’s stalker and fancying myself in love with him and Dad had to listen to me admitting that I thought she’d had an affair. That was the worst part for me.

There was silence when the recording finished and I thought, he hates me . But Dad got up from the chair and came over and pulled me into his arms. He hugged me tight and said how sorry he was and I said Dad, I’m the one who’s sorry and he said, you have nothing to be sorry about, I should have been there for you .

We stood there for quite a while and then Biro made a coughing sound and Dad let me go and I sat back down.

Dad went over and picked the phone up and rang the police. He was talking to them for ages and got put on hold for a long time and then finally got put through to the right person.

When he’d finished telling them they said they were coming to talk to us and I couldn’t believe it when they’re turned up about an hour later.

There were two of them, WPC Roper, I think, and a Detective Inspector Peters. They both seemed very nice, not disbelieving at all. The WPC wrote everything down in her notebook (she must have very small writing) while DI Peters asked the questions. He didn’t say anything when I told him how I got into Adam’s house, just raised an eyebrow.

We went through everything about a million times and Biro had to do something with the recording so they could have a copy of it. There was something about not being able to use it in court and I was shocked then, because I just thought they’d give Adam a telling off and make him promise not to do it again. When I said that to Biro after they’d gone he couldn’t stop laughing, said something about what an innocent I was. I got really stroppy with him and said I’m not an innocent and he laughed even more.

I could hit him sometimes.

Anyway, the police left after about two hours and said that they’d keep us informed. Biro and I have to go into the station in the next week and give a formal statement and I can’t say that I’m looking forward to that. I can’t help thinking that we’re wasting our time, when it comes down to it it’s our word against his and they haven’t got any actual proof of what he’d done. It’s not like we even have the birthday card anymore.

‘Well, we’ve done all we can, it’s up to them now, it’s in their hands.’ Dad said as he closed the front door on them. ‘That Peters bloke really reminds me of someone but I can’t think who.’

‘That’s Louise’s partner, you know, Louise who works with Uncle Ralph,’ I said.

‘Really?’ He’ll be the one that caught the Frogham Throttler.’ He looks pleased. ‘So they must be taking us seriously.’

‘That’s good isn’t it?’ I try to sound confident but I don’t feel it.

‘It certainly is. Right, that’s enough of all that for one day.’ He rubs his hands together. ‘I don’t know about you two but I’m starving. Shall we get a takeaway? Indian? Thai? Chinese?’

‘Thai.’ Biro and I say in unison.

‘Thai it is,’ says Dad as he roots through the magazine rack for the takeaway menu. He produces the dog-eared menu with a flourish.

‘Tell me what you want and I’ll ring it through.’

We give Dad our order and he gets on the phone to Bang Thai Dee and forgets what we’ve told him and just orders pretty much everything on the menu.

‘Ten-past-nine, going to be up all night with indigestion,’ Dad says, looking at his watch. He sounds cheerful and upbeat but I know it’s for my benefit; I know when he’s acting.

Dad goes out to the kitchen and Biro and I sit in silence listening to the sound of Dad rattling around, clattering plates, opening a drawer and knives and forks being pulled out.

‘Wonder if they’ll go straight to his house and search it?’ I say.

‘Hope so. Though they’ll probably need a search warrant. They probably won’t find anything because you searched it and never found anything and if he’s got any sense he’ll have got rid of the scarf by now.’

‘Of course he will.’ I feel suddenly depressed and dejected; do I want him to go to prison? I don’t know what I want. ‘He’s going to get away with it, isn’t he?’

‘Maybe,’ says Biro grimly. ‘But at the very least he’ll lose his job. Stop him grooming anyone else.’

‘Don’t say grooming, it sounds horrible.’

‘That’s what it is.’

‘I know now it was just a stupid crush, how could I possibly think I knew someone after so little time with them? I’m an idiot.’ I fight back tears.

‘No, you’re not.’ Dad comes into the lounge and puts the plates and cutlery on the coffee table. ‘You’re human, like the rest of us, and he took advantage of that. You’ve nothing to blame yourself for at all.’ He sits down on the sofa and puts his arm around me. I give him a shaky smile. ‘The main thing is that he’s been caught now and he’ll have to pay the price for what he’s done.’

‘He will,’ I say.

‘Too right,’ says Biro.

‘Hopefully he’ll get a prison sentence,’ I say, not knowing if I mean it.

‘Lose his job at the least,’ says Biro.

The doorbell interrupts us and Dad jumps up and goes out to the hallway and reappears with two huge, brown carrier bags, a delicious smell drifting out of them. He brings the bags in and pulls out assorted foil containers and arranges them all on the coffee table. We prise the lids off and heap spoonfuls onto our plates.

I take a mouthful of chicken and it tastes like sawdust in my mouth. I was starving but now my hunger has vanished and I know I’m not going to be able to eat a thing. I push the food around a bit to disguise it and make it look like I’m eating something; I don’t want to spoil Biro and Dad’s meal.

Biro catches my eye. ‘Not hungry?’

‘Thought I was, but, you know...’ I trail off.

‘I can’t eat it either.’ Dad puts his knife and fork across his full plate. ‘Can’t get it down.’

‘Nor me.’ Biro puts his plate on the table, he hasn’t eaten anything either.

Skipper is sitting to attention with his eyes fixed on our plates but I don’t think he’ll be getting any; he was sick all over the carpet last time.