Uncaged

GENE WOLFE

I ought never to have read the letter. More signally, I ought never to have returned to the Ivory Coast. The letter found me at Cape Town. It was accompanied by another, from one Dubois. His went something like this:

For the present, monsieur, I have the honor to hold the position of your good friend M. Bercole, who is, alas, somewhat ill. This is to say, I am acting administrator general of this district. It is to be hoped that my term of office will be but short. The letter I enclose reached my hands only yesterday, though it has been weeks, it may be months, in the hands of others. Rest assured, monsieur, that it has been read not by M. Bercole nor by myself, and that those who placed it in our hands had not the capacity.

I have saved the letter itself. I will transcribe it here.

My Dear Friend:

Do not be offended, I beg you, by this salutation. When one drowns, any passerby is the dearest of friends. You may recall that the administrator general advised Joseph to shoot me. For me to appeal to him now would be hopeless. Your eyes were filled with a pity which I then resented. Yes, I was such a fool! Joseph is dead. He was killed by a leopard, the workers say. There is no work for them and no chance of payment should they work. They are fewer each day. I am imprisoned in this cage. Sometimes I am fed. More often I am not. Please help me! You look so kind! Please help! Marthe Hecht

I went. What else could I do? A trading schooner returned me to the Ivory Coast, a voyage of thirty-two days that might easily have taken much longer. Bercole was clearly too ill to accompany me, though he wished to go. Dubois, the new man, flatly refused. To give him his due, he had nearly worried himself into a breakdown, crushed under the new responsibilities fate had heaped upon him; the trek up-country would have done him good. I tried to persuade him, but he was adamant. Seeing that argument was useless, I left as soon as possible, with four porters and a native gendarme called Jakada. He had brought the letter and so was a potential source of information about the Hecht plantation and specifically about the condition of the late owner’s wife. I write “potential” because I really got few facts from him. She was kai gaibou, a leopard, meaning possessed by a panther spirit. When I inquired concerning her cage, he affirmed that she was locked inside it—but soon spoke of her roaming at night in search of prey. When I reminded him that he had told me she was caged, he shrugged.

I have written earlier of the baboons. They were as numerous as ever and seemed even more curious about us than before. They were, I believe, simply bolder in their curiosity because my party was smaller than Bercole’s had been. Here I ought not, perhaps, record an experience that I still find uncanny and has no connection that I can see to what was to follow. Between one step and the next I found myself seeing myself and our party through the eyes of a baboon. It (or perhaps she) was normal, as were the rest of the troop, her friends and relations. I was utterly askew, a pale cripple forced to walk on my hind legs alone and covered with scabs. This took, as I have tried to say, no time at all. Then it was over, leaving me with the feeling that something intended for a baboon had been delivered to me by mistake. Before I had taken another ten strides, a young female ran up to me, felt the material of my shorts, and took my hand. For the next quarter hour or so we walked on in that manner, the young female reaching up to clasp my hand and walking easily on three legs. At length she released me and bounded away. I have no explanations to offer. Not even for a moment did I suppose that before a week had passed I would be shooting these same baboons.

Reaching the Cavally, we forded it and marched upriver for three long days, fording it again when we came in sight of the plantation that had been Hecht’s. It appeared deserted, its fields returning to jungle. Seeing it, I felt quite sure his wife was dead.

We had come too far, however, to return to the coast without investigating, and it seemed at least possible that a few items of interest might be found in the bungalow. I told Jakada and the porters we would camp here for the night, and perhaps for two nights. When we had set up our camp, Jakada and I entered the bungalow.

We had no more than set foot in it when a woman’s voice called, “Oku? Amoue?” Tired and sweating as I was, I ran toward it.

The cage was built against the side of the bungalow. A door of the kitchen gave easy access to it, and to the wide slot in its barred door through which trays were passed. I saw her then, her hands gripping the bars, and saw, too, the unmistakable joy she felt at the sight of me. It touched my heart, and touches it still. Yes, even after all that has happened.

I would have released her at once if I could, but the cage door was closed with a formidable padlock, and the key was nowhere in sight. When I asked Marthe whether she knew where it was kept, she replied, “Please do not call me by that name. It is not mine. Joseph used it because he wished the world to think me French. Though I loved him, I never loved the name he gave me.”

I was tempted to question her then, but the chief business of the hour, as I then saw it, was to free her. Thus I asked again where I might find the key.

“Joseph always returned it to his pocket,” she said. “He used to visit me in the evening. I feel quite certain you understand.”

Of course I said I did, and went off looking for the key.

After an hour or so it occurred to me that if I had been in Hecht’s position I would certainly have kept the key in my pocket, and not in a drawer of my desk or any other such place. Some of his employees might well have been minded to assault his wife or even to kill her. They might perhaps have accomplished her death by thrusting spears between the bars of the cage, but it would have been difficult and perhaps impossible. If they could enter her cage, however, one slash of a cane knife might easily have been enough. Those who had found Hecht’s body might well have taken the key, but where were they now? Except for Hecht’s widow, who could not leave, the plantation seemed utterly deserted.

And if they had not taken the key, it had presumably been interred with Hecht. The prospect of exhuming a corpse, one that had spent months in a shallow grave in central Africa, positively horrified me.

By that time I had discovered a workshop in one of the outbuildings. Such tools as remained there were few and simple, but I collected them and attacked the bars with a will.

Two hours of hard work availed nothing. My porters and I prepared a tray for the imprisoned woman. Her disappointment as she accepted it was as obvious as it was understandable.

I had washed and taken refuge beneath my mosquito net, sick with self-recrimination. I ought to have brought tools—no doubt they could have been purchased without difficulty in Abidjan. I ought to have brought skeleton keys, and asked a locksmith’s advice, too. I ought to have learned the location of Hecht’s grave. Though his widow could never have seen it, she might have known it. I could have sent Jakada and a couple of porters to look for it. Before I fell asleep, I decided that since all my labor on the bars had been fruitless, I would concentrate my efforts on the lock and the hinges in the morning.

And that is what I did. In a little over an hour I had drawn the pins of all three hinges and opened the door. But I have omitted too much by speaking of that humble triumph now. Not long after I had fallen asleep, I was awakened by a pistol shot. I called out, and one of the porters came. He told me that Jakada had shot at a leopard. He himself had not seen this leopard; Jakada had seen it and shot at it. I told him to send Jakada to me; but if Jakada came it was only after I had returned to blissful sleep, and Jakada did not wake me.

That night I dreamed that a woman’s naked body was stretched upon my own, and that she was kissing me. It was, I know, a dream of a kind only too common in men who have been long separated from the warm commerce of the sexes. Later this woman lay close beside me whispering, promising all the delights of marriage with none of its pains. I longed to tell her its pains would be my delight, if only we were wed; but I could not speak, only listen to her; and her voice might have been that of a breeze from the sea.

There has been another loss, a small boy this time. Sailors and volunteers are searching the ship. If we were ashore, I might buy handcuffs at some shop catering to the police. Then I could handcuff Kay to me and entrust the key to a friend. Nothing of the sort seems possible here. I would have the steward lock us in if that might be done; but the mechanism of our stateroom door prevents it, locking automatically when we go out but opening readily to those within.

How then, does Kay reenter? She must possess a key of her own. If I can find it and drop it over the side, she will be unable—no, what a fool I am! She takes my key from my pocket while I sleep. Thus the solution is simple. I must hide the key. She will not dare to leave unless she can reenter. I will hide it tonight, but I will most certainly not name its hiding place here.

Later. There, it is done! Kay has not returned; presumably she is still playing cards in the lounge. I will go out and rejoin her. When we return to this stateroom, I will tell her that I have left my key behind (which will in fact be sober truth) and get the steward to unlock the door and let us in. Clearly I cannot do the same thing tomorrow night, but I will have all day in which to think of a new plan. Or something better, I hope.

Morning. Kay was still sleeping when I left. My little ruse seems to have worked perfectly. The key was where I had hidden it, and I saw nothing to indicate that Kay had gone out. What I must do tonight, clearly, is return to our stateroom before her and conceal the key. When she returns, she will find me bathed and in my robe. In the morning I must rise before her and retrieve the key before she wakes.

But what am I to do when we reach New York?

Kay excused herself at dinner, I assumed to go to the ladies’ room. She did not return. When she had been gone for half an hour, I enlisted the colonel’s wife. She returned to say that Kay was not in there. She had looked in the booths, had looked everywhere, and there was no sign of her. Mrs. Van Cleef suggested that she might have been taken ill. It seemed unlikely—the South Atlantic was anything but rough—but I nodded, left, and toured the railing. She was not there.

Several people were out on deck, where the air was cooler. I described Kay, a beautiful woman, young, somewhat heavy, dark, black hair, yellow dress, and so on. No one had seen her, but one woman suggested that she might have gone back to our stateroom.

Unable to think of anything better (though the key was in my pocket), I went there. When I opened the door I got the shock of my life.

The stateroom was dark. The corridor in which I stood brightly lit. In our stateroom, emerald eyes glowed with reflected light!

I flipped the wall switch. Kay (Marthe?) lay on our bed, quite nude, propped up on one elbow and smiling. “I thought to arrange the small surprise for you.”

I switched off the light and shut the door. “It was.” I was gasping, and grasping at straws, too. “I couldn’t imagine what had happened to you.”

“You could not? You like our food, I think.”

“It was good, as ship’s food goes.”

“This I do not think. It make me so ill I think to retire. The steward admit me.”

I nodded. “I see.”

“When I am undress, I am well again.” Pouting. “You do not like my surprise? It may be I find the place for sleep elsewhere.”

“Please don’t.” I was undressing too by this time. Without pondering the unintended irony I added, “It might be dangerous.”

“For me you worry and worry.” She laughed. “You pull up the pins. Is this what you they call? With the oil and so many tools you push them up. You must get them out! You work and work.”

“You mean the hinge pins of your cage. Yes, I did.”

“Perhaps I fool you. Perhaps I reach through my bars and pull them up.” She sounded amused.

I refused the bait. “Perhaps you did.” There had been three hinges and it had taken me almost an hour to remove the first. The other two had required at least twenty minutes each, even after I had learned how to do it.

“I worry also. About you I worry. That is bad, no? Most bad.”

I was touched. “Foolish, at least.”

“Not foolish, only bad. I worry that I may hurt you.” She sounded genuinely concerned.

A thin line of fine, soft hair ran up from her pubic hair to her navel. I stroked it as I spoke. “I have been hurt before,” I said. “I’m still here.”

“Why is it you come to Africa?”

“To see it. I’d read a lot about it, and felt as though I should have a look myself while I was still young enough to do it.” I recalled how difficult the decision had been, and the enormous relief I had felt when the ship was actually under way. Suddenly and delightfully, I had felt that I could fly—that I could do anything.

When she said nothing, I added, “I thought I might do a bit of big-game hunting, too. Elephants, rhinos, and hippos. Lions and leopards. Heads on my wall. All that nonsense.”

She laughed. “Very long you would take to eat the elephant.”

“You’re right,” I told her. “We should kill only to eat. I shot antelopes to feed my men. There were six of us coming, four porters, Jakada, and myself. Coming back, you made seven.”

“You shoot the baboons. For this I am always grateful to you.”

“They would have killed you,” I told her.

And it was true—they would have killed her if they could. When they finally fled her, those nearest fled last. Torn and bleeding. Limping. Silent. The uninjured had chattered loudly. Not these. One’s arm had been torn completely away. Neither my bullets nor Jakada’s had done that.

“What is it you think? Always you think and think, always you are so silent.”

“I suppose.” We lay sweating in the dark, side by side.

“When you are old, old man, you will wish to speak but none will listen. He is old man, they will say. These old men know nothing.”

Very well. I feel as old as a man can ever feel this night, older than you might believe, and I will say this. Old men know one thing. They know how little they know. Does Kay really harbor the spirit of a leopard? The soul of one? What is it, this thing we call the soul that it can—perhaps—be passed like a handkerchief from one hand to the next? Or does it pass itself, as a man leaves the house his parents left him and enters a new one?

Could Kay (who had been Marthe and how many others?) actually take the form of a leopard? Ridiculous on the face of it; but human eyes do not reflect the light. Only the eyes of an animal do that.

“Did you shoot the elephant? Give much meat to the men who help you?”

“No,” I said. “I never shot one.”

“For a tribe it is good, perhaps. There are so many hungry mouths there. The children crawl inside and come out. Then their little bellies are round with elephant meat.” She laughed softly.

“I never shot one,” I repeated.

“For you there will be vultures, jackals, hyenas. Feed us, bawana! We are your children.”

So they would call, I thought, and they would be right. They are our children, the heirs of mankind.

“Leopards are cleaner than we,” I said. This was not said to Kay; I was talking to myself as I sometimes do when I know I’m right. “They kill because they’re hungry, and eat all they kill. We kill to create moth-eaten dust-catchers our human heirs will drop into the trash.”

Kay murmured, “I am glad,” apropos of what, I cannot say.

“The lions and leopards fear us as honest men fear criminals, and we fear them as criminals fear the police.”

I fell silent until at length Kay said, “What it is you think?” She was stroking me, but there were signs that it could not go on forever.

“I was thinking of the baboons. They chatter and chatter, and it doesn’t mean a thing. Human beings must have chattered in the same way, with meaning gradually creeping in. Thus the origin of speech, which has puzzled so many.”

“When I am a little girl, it is the same. My parents leave England and go to France. They send me to the French school. It is so I will be made ready for the school that come before school.”

“Kindergarten,” I said.

“That is German, garden of children. It is what we say in America?”

“I think so.”

“I know only a few words English at that time, words I remember from England. I try and try to remember them all. At night in the bed I whisper them. It is like I pray.”

“Because they had meaning,” I said. “The French words you heard others say had meaning, too. But not to you, at that time.”

“I love you,” Kay whispered; and I wondered just what meaning, if any, those words held for her.

And for me.

Much later, after she had left me to go into the little bathroom down the corridor, and had returned to me (as I had greatly feared she would not); and after I had left her for much the same purpose, and had returned to a gently rocking bed I had feared would be empty, and had found her asleep there, she began to purr. It was a deep and vibrant purr, very soft.

I told myself over and over that I was dreaming, and at last I left our bed, dressed quietly, and went out. Her purr followed me until I cut it off by shutting the steel door of our compartment behind me.

Outside I found that the stars had come out before me. Africa is an excellent place for seeing stars—I mean when one is out from under the trees, out on the veldt or in a field of some plantation. The sea is almost as good when the night is far advanced and the ship almost dark. The few running lights are invisible. The searchlight on the bridge probes the night, a shining pencil of light—and then goes dark. The night air is hot, and would be still if it were not for the motion of the ship. The stars do not twinkle but seem to be what they in fact are, distant fires.

“There is a big cat on board,” a voice behind me said.

I turned to look, seeing only the pale blur of a face shadowed by a dark mustache. I wanted to say that he had certainly been mistaken. What I said instead was “It seems every ship has at least one cat.”

“A much larger cat than that.”

“You mean a big cat?” I asked. It sounded terribly stupid, but I could think of nothing else to say.

“Yes, exactly.”

“Are you talking about a lion? Something of that sort?”

“Yes.”

“A tiger, perhaps.” I tried to sound amused.

He shook his head, the gesture scarcely visible though he was not two feet from me. “We just left Africa. There are no tigers in Africa. Tigers are found in India, China, and a few more Asian nations.”

When I did not speak, he said, “Leopards are found in both Asia and Africa.”

“So I understand.”

“You yourself are interested in leopards, sir. Deeply interested. I hope you will forgive my touching on what is perhaps a personal matter.”

“Certainly.” I turned away, looking out to sea.

“We have had a death on this voyage. Two children appear to have vanished.”

Without looking at him, I nodded. “So I understand.”

“You have interested yourself in all three. You questioned Mrs. Bowen and the children’s mothers.”

“I believe I did,” I said, “but you can hardly blame me. Those things have been the talk of the ship.”

“While your interest in them has not been.”

He had not asked a question, but I answered it anyway. “No. Or not to my knowledge. Why should it be?”

“You vouchsafed no information whatsoever to either woman.”

“That is by no means true.” I turned to face him. “You seem to know something about me, sir. I, on the other hand, know nothing whatever about you.”

“I am Dr. Miles Radner. There is no ship’s doctor aboard—perhaps you were aware of it.”

I shrugged. “I haven’t been ill.”

“It is the case.” Dr. Radner was almost whispering. “I am the only doctor on board. Passenger ships often carry a physician as a part of their crew. The post is a difficult one to keep filled, however.”

No comment from me seemed to be called for.

“A married physician will rarely wish to spend so much time separated from his wife and family. Furthermore, a physician thus separated cannot refer his most difficult cases to a hospital. Too often his patients must die under his care, not because he lacks skill but because he lacks facilities.”

“The dead man … ?” I let the question hang.

“No. Bowen was dead when I was brought to see him. Nor could I have saved him if he had not been. He had been bitten in the back of the neck, a powerful bite that severed the spinal cord. It is the way in which big cats, and even lynxes and bobcats, kill.”

I said, “You seem to know a great deal about these matters, Doctor.”

“Thank you. Four years ago, I was called upon to treat a native who had been attacked by a leopard. Also to examine the bodies of some native children who had been killed, I would judge also by a leopard. Killed and partially eaten. Wolves and dogs tear the throat. The big cats bite the nape of the neck.”

I did not turn away to face the sea again, but neither did I reply.

“Was this your first trip to Africa? I do not intend to pry.”

“It was,” I said, “but I stayed almost two years.”

“You are independently wealthy. I am not, but I saved for more than twenty years in order that I might achieve my dream of hunting in Africa.”

“I hope you enjoyed it.”

“I did, though I hunted very little. Or killed very little, let us say. For one thing, I wanted to see the place every bit as much as I wanted to hunt. For another, every village had its sick—or so it seemed. I found I could not walk away and leave them.”

“You had taken an oath,” I suggested.

Dr. Radner shook his head. “It wasn’t that. I did what I could, and quite often that was a lot. Infected wounds and broken limbs … ”

“Did you ever get a trophy?”

“Nothing that would get me into the record book. One day Dan Harwood came to me with a new idea. Dan was my professional hunter, and he’d done his best for me. Record animals, even animals that just possibly might set a new record, are damned hard to find. Maybe a professional hunter sees a dozen, or half a dozen, in his entire career. But Dan had been listening to his shortwave and he’d heard something he thought might interest me. I hadn’t gotten a leopard yet, and there was supposed to be a man-eater up in the Saraban. It might not be a record animal, he said, but it sounded like it had to be a big one.”

You can guess how I felt when I heard the doctor say that. He can’t have seen much of my face in the dark, and I wished with all my heart that he hadn’t been able to see it at all.

“Record animals aren’t the only ones that can get a hunter into the books. Kill a man-eater, and everybody who writes about big-game hunting will know your name. You’ll be in a dozen books, in the papers, and in magazine articles a hundred years after you’re dead. I told Dan I wanted to go after it, and I’d do whatever it took.”

I said, “As interesting as this is, I think I’d better go. My wife will be getting worried.”

For a moment I could see the doctor’s teeth under that black mustache. “It gets more interesting to me—and I’d certainly think to you. If you’ll take my advice, you’ll stay and listen.”

I did.

“We engaged a bush pilot to fly us up there. You can’t land in that area, but there’s overgrazed pasturage in the French Sudan not far from it. We hired a guide and a few porters, and ended up at a plantation owned by an immigrant named Joseph Hecht. I’ve heard he’s dead now; did you know him?”

I shrugged. “I met him once.”

“Not a friend, I take it.”

I shook my head.

“He had sugarcane fields and coffee trees and so on, and shipped his produce down the river. His plantation was about the only civilized place in the area. I met his wife as well, though he wouldn’t let her out of her cage. I remember that I lit a cigarette for her. She smoked it with a good deal of pleasure and thanked me for it. Her husband didn’t allow her matches—or at least, that was the impression I got.” Dr. Radner took a cigarette from a gleaming case and lit it from the lighter built into the top, then offered me one, which I declined.

“Her name was Marthe, and although she was foreign she spoke understandable English. We left, and I never saw her again. Certainly I didn’t expect to see her on this ship.”

“Did you get the leopard?” I inquired.

“For a time I wondered if there was any. Have you heard of the leopard-men?”

I said I had not, but they sounded interesting.

“It’s a sort of lodge.” His teeth reappeared. “Something like the Masons. I’m a Mason myself.”

There were deck chairs behind the promenade on which we stood. As he spoke I realized that something—a child, perhaps, or some sort of animal—was moving soundlessly among them.

“Many of them are witch doctors, or so I’m told. They wear leopard skins on their midnight raids, so that people who glimpse them will think they’ve seen a leopard. Have you ever worn brass knuckles?”

“No,” I said, “but I know what they are.”

“Their claws aren’t quite like that, but the idea is much the same. The claws are iron and protrude between their fingers—that’s what Dan told me. There’s an iron handle inside that they grasp. They claw their victims, and the deaths are blamed on leopards.”

“That’s what you found in the Saraban?”

“It wasn’t—that was what I half expected to find, based on tales I’d heard. Dan had warned me, you see. So had the bush pilot and some others. The best way to hunt a leopard is to construct a blind a hundred or a hundred and fifty feet away from his kill. In this case we couldn’t do it, because the kills had been human beings. We staked out goats instead, and searched for pug marks in the morning with native trackers. It took ten days, but I got my leopard. By that time I had to go. I had already spent more time in Africa than I had intended or budgeted for. We thanked Hecht for his hospitality and radioed the bush pilot. The day after we left Hecht’s plantation, we got word that another child had been killed by a leopard. It seemed that the leopard I had shot had not been the man-eater.”

I asked whether he had gone back for that one.

“I didn’t, nor did I want to. Now I’ve seen Hecht’s wife on this ship, which was quite a surprise. I wasn’t sure until I heard her talk, but now I have and that’s her. What happened to Hecht?”

“He died,” I said.

“Killed by a leopard?”

“So I’m told. I didn’t see his body.”

Dr. Radner nodded and flipped his cigarette over the railing and into the South Atlantic, where it died like a meteor.

“You told me Bowen had been bitten in the back of the neck,” I said.

“I did.” Dr. Radner nodded. “He was.”

“What about the children?”

“I have no idea. But leopard-men kill their enemies, or at least that’s what everybody says. I suppose they might kill their enemies’ children, too. Hatred of the family or revenge. Still … ” He let the sentence trail away.

“You must know the slanders that were directed against my wife.”

“I do,” Dr. Radner said. “I also know that it is utterly impossible for any human being to turn into a leopard, far less turn into a leopard for a few hours and return to human form. It is far from impossible, however, for a human being to believe that he or she does it. The witches of the Middle Ages believed they flew through the air on brooms. They believed that utterly and sincerely, and many like instances might be given. A man—or a woman—might believe that he or she became a leopard at times, and might use iron claws of the kind I had described to claw his or her victims to death. I told you what I did because it may be useful to you to distinguish between true and false leopard kills.”

“There are no leopards in the United States.” I made it as firm as I could.

“Correct, there are none—outside of those in zoos and circuses, and an unknown number in private hands. There are mountain lions, however, in almost every state in the union; jaguars are reported from time to time in the southernmost part of the Southwest.”

When I said nothing in reply to that, Dr. Radner stepped back from the rail, touched his hat, and added, “Good night, sir. It is late, I’ve had my say, and I wish you pleasant dreams.”

He left, and a few minutes later I heard a slight disturbance, a few confused noises followed by utter silence.

For an hour or more, I leaned against the rail, staring out to sea. It was not really cold, but a cold south wind had sprung up, and I had on only a lightweight tropical suit. I would have given a good deal for a drink then, but the ship’s bar had been closed for hours. Eventually the colonel appeared, in search of a spot in which he could enjoy the last cigar of the day in peace. I welcomed him, he offered me a cigar, which I declined, and I chanced to lament the too-early closing of the bar. At that, he produced a silver flask, which he offered to me.

I accepted gladly and took it, limiting myself to two sips, though it tasted wonderful. It was gin, and I believe Bombay Gin; at the second sip I found myself visualizing the self-consciously old-fashioned label, with its portrait of Queen Victoria. I thanked him and returned his flask. We chatted for a few minutes, and I left.

I was perhaps halfway to the stateroom I shared with Kay when I found what I had expected to find rather nearer: the body of Dr. Miles Radner. For a minute or two I squatted beside it, examining the bite to the neck that had killed him. (Though he had been clawed as well.) From what I saw, it seemed obvious that the animal had shadowed him for a time, then sprung upon him from behind. Its claws would have held him for the necessary moment, and its bite had been fatal.

I rose and went on to our stateroom. Perhaps it was the gin, but I felt tired and very sleepy. Our cabin was dark; Kay was already back in bed and sound asleep. I undressed as quietly as I could and joined her without waking her.

Such is my story. There was some trouble about Kay’s entering the country without a passport, but we explained that hers had been lost in Africa, and they soon let us in. She has applied for a new one, an American passport, since she is now the wife of an American citizen. Rather to my surprise she has asked that it carry her maiden name, which she gave as Kay Gaibou.

I see I have not mentioned that we are comfortably lodged now at my parents’ place in upstate New York. To the best of my recollection it has been six years since I was last here. They are in Europe. I cabled them soon after we came ashore, telling them I was married and asking their permission to open the old place up and await them there. They agreed at once, as I expected.

Perhaps I ought to add that I have since received a letter from my mother; I must write to her as soon as I finish this. She says Germany is in chaos, with communists and National Socialists fighting quite openly in the streets. They will cut their stay there short and go on to Austria before returning home.

There was a piece in the paper this morning about the death of a fifteen-year-old girl (page A2). She was, the paper said, apparently killed by an animal. The article did not say whether parts of her body had been eaten. It was found lodged in a tree, about ten feet above the ground.

I showed the piece to Kay, who said she had already seen it. “Is it not terrible?”

Afterward I read the whole piece again. It is, of course—terrible and horrible, but what can I do?

What in hell can I do?