JOSHUA STARED, stunned, at the empty doorway long after Nash disappeared, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Sure, he’d had men hit him lightly as a warm-up, but it always escalated. Always. Not only did the blows get more intense but also nearly every time it ended with Joshua having a dick either up his ass or down his throat. Sometimes both.
He grabbed his jeans and shirt from the floor and slid them on. His head swam with the turn of events. He’d known Nash was unlike anyone he’d ever met after the night Nash had taken him to the back room of the Underground. But this….
This made no sense.
Doms wanted one thing. Power. Sure, they got off on telling someone what to do, showing their superiority over another person, but it was always about their pleasure, their orgasm, and their needs. Oh, they used pretty little words to assure their submissive that through their pleasure, he would be rewarded. Joshua used to believe it. He no longer did. Everything about the lifestyle had thrilled him when he was a teenager. But he soon discovered black leather covered not only bodies but intent as well. He had yet to meet one Dom who wasn’t on a major power trip. Which was fine by him. More power to them was his motto. They could boss him around all they wanted, could have multiple orgasms for all he fucking cared, as long as he got his three Ps: pleasure, pain, and peace. Regardless of what he’d told Nash, there was peace in pain. He’d experienced it a couple of times. The sensation was unlike anything he’d experienced, a euphoria he’d been chasing ever since and had yet to find.
If this was Nash’s idea of domination, he had a lot to learn, and Joshua was the perfect sub to teach him how to really take control. There was so much more to it than a little slap and tickle. And no orgasm? Joshua shook his head. Weirdo. He buttoned up his shirt and went to join Nash.
He found Nash in the kitchen putting leftover Chinese in plastic containers. He turned and smiled at Joshua. “There is some disinfectant and a rag under the sink. You can wipe off the table and the counters while I finish up here.”
“Yes, Sir.” Joshua grabbed what he needed and did as he was told.
He had so many questions to ask and comments to make, but he kept his mouth shut. It was a game, one he had thought he’d mastered. Since that night when the erotic asphyxiation scene went horribly wrong and Corbin bolted, however, Joshua had been struggling. He wasn’t about to screw this new arrangement up with his loose tongue. He would get what he wanted from Nash one way or another.
“All done.” Joshua held up the cleaner and cloth.
“You can put the cloth in the hamper.” Nash nodded to a closed door.
Joshua returned the cleaner to its place and then opened the door Nash had indicated. It was a bathroom. Everything in it, tub, toilet, sink, lights, walls, and even the hamper, was bright white. This is going to be a bitch to keep clean, he surmised and dumped the cloth in the hamper. Bright whites, disinfectants, no shoes in the house? He was definitely going to have to step up his Susie Homemaker skills.
“I’m going to put on a pot of coffee. Would you like some?” Nash offered.
“I’m not much of a coffee drinker, Sir.”
“Ah, stick with me and I’ll make a coffee snob out of you for sure.” Nash opened the cupboard above the coffeemaker to reveal dozens of the little tin containers. He studied them for a moment and then grabbed one that had Kenya Nyeri printed on it. He poured the beans into a grinder and then added the grinds to the coffee machine.
“You can’t get coffee in the supermarket! That stuff is just wrong,” Nash said, his tone light and easy like he hadn’t just left Joshua hanging. “I mean, I guess it’s fine if you just want a caffeine buzz to start the morning. To really enjoy the experience, though, you need a good blend from either Kenya or Ethiopia. Then there is my personal favorite, Panama La Esmeralda. I only have it for special occasions. At sixty-two dollars for eight ounces, I can’t justify the price on a daily basis.”
As Nash moved around the kitchen preparing his coffee and rambling on and on, Joshua stared at him in utter shock. Was he not going to mention what happened in the other room? Was he not going to apologize for not finishing his fucking job? Joshua pressed his lower back against the corner of the cupboard, letting the spark of pain help get his racing thoughts under control before he ended up blurting them out. Play the game.
Once Nash had his coffee, he grabbed a pad of paper and a pen and had Joshua join him at the dining room table. He didn’t say anything for a long while, tapping his pen against the table and sipping his coffee while staring out the window. Each tick of the clock had Joshua’s tension ratcheting up until he felt like an overwound toy about to pop its springs and bolts.
Just when Joshua thought he couldn’t stand the silence a second longer, Nash turned his head and met Joshua’s gaze. “I think tonight was a good start. Mind you, it was merely a small test, but I think you and I could work nicely together. How about you?”
“Yes, Sir, I agree. It was most satisfying,” Joshua was able to get out, keeping his tone even.
Joshua jerked when Nash burst out laughing.
“What’s so funny, Sir?”
“I’m just pleased with myself is all,” Nash sniffed. “I suspected you would say that even though you know damn good and well I was the only one satisfied.”
“That’s all that matters, Sir,” Joshua replied without hesitation.
Nash narrowed his eyes. Joshua didn’t flinch or look away. After a tense moment, Nash said, “Yes, well, we shall see.” He slid the pen and paper across the table. “What I’d like for you to do is spend a little time writing out your likes and dislikes.”
Joshua picked up the pen and nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good, I’ll be back in a half hour.” And with that, Nash took his coffee and left the room.
Joshua picked up the pen, chewing on the end of it as he considered the blank page before him. A small test, huh? He was sure this was another one. Of course, his first thought was to write the standard likes. Submitting, pleasing his master, and of course, being fucked. While the last one was true, it wasn’t at the top of his list. But if he did put what he liked most at the top, would Nash deny him the pain he so craved? Doms were always withholding things from their submissives as punishment or to prove some fucking point.
He tossed around what to write, but after twenty minutes, he’d done little more than draw out two columns and numbered one through ten under each of the headings. Part of him wanted to be completely honest with Nash. But what the hell had his honesty gotten him so far? A whole lot of heartache, that’s what it had fucking gotten him. Screw it, he knew he was a damn good submissive, and he did need a place to stay.
He started scribbling down his answers.
NASH STROLLED into the dining room, ignoring the expectant expression on Joshua’s face. He went and poured another cup of coffee, glancing at the clock. He had two more minutes, even though he knew from the pen sitting next to the paper that Joshua was done. He held up the pot. “You sure you don’t want a cup? Or something else to drink?”
“No thank you, Sir.”
“Suit yourself.” Nash slid into the chair opposite Joshua. “Are you finished?”
Joshua slid the pad across the table. “Yes, Sir.”
Nash turned the paper around and studied it while he sipped his coffee.
Favorites:
Crops
Bullwhip
Paddles
Cock and Ball Torture
Breath play.
“I see some of your favorites are a little extreme. I am not a fan of the bullwhip, but I’m quite skilled with it. You will have to work hard to earn that privilege.”
Joshua’s smile was genuine. “I’ll try my hardest to earn it, Sir.”
“I’m sure you will.” Nash turned his attention back to the list, nodding at several of the items. He found it interesting that Joshua’s dislikes were less harsh than the things he liked. The kangaroo flogger and feathers didn’t surprise Nash, but the total sensory deprivation, as well as a few others, did.
“I find your list a bit confusing. What is it about the electrical shock that scares you?”
“I don’t know that it scares me so much as it….” Joshua frowned, then shrugged. “I don’t like the sensation. It feels like bugs crawling on me, which kind of freaks me out.”
“And total sensory dep?” Nash inquired.
“I actually used to enjoy it, but then I had a bad experience with it,” Joshua said calmly. “I guess if I found the right Dom, one I could trust unconditionally, I would allow it again. There really isn’t much I won’t do. Blood and breath play are major turn-ons.” Joshua lowered his head, suddenly very interested in the hangnail on his thumb he’d been picking at. “I know you talked to Kirk, and I’m sure he told you about my, um, pain tolerance.”
“He mentioned it,” Nash said evenly. There was no sense in lying to Joshua or pretending it wasn’t going to be an issue. Nash believed in putting his cards on the table and having a prospective sub do so as well. He already had the feeling that Joshua would hold back or sugarcoat his extreme needs. “In fact, you frightened him a bit. Kirk is a harsh master and rattling him is very difficult.”
“We didn’t mesh,” Joshua responded flippantly.
Nash was looking forward to starting this journey with Joshua, but this arrangement was about much more than his own needs, but Joshua’s as well. Nash was no fool. He had no unrealistic notions that it would be easy. But with patience, complete honesty, and a firm hand they might have a shot at satisfying those needs. He couldn’t forget, however, that Joshua would more than likely try to manipulate him to achieve his own goals.
Normally Nash was confident that he could control most situations. Even though Joshua had shaken him, he was determined. If he didn’t think he could handle it, he sure as hell wouldn’t be taking the man on.
He tore the list from the pad and folded it carefully, then stuck it in his shirt pocket before he stood. “It’s been a long day. I’ll show you where you will be sleeping.”
“That’s it?”
“Meaning?” Nash tossed over his shoulder as he led the way from the room.
“I don’t know; I thought we would be discussing contracts.”
Nash stopped outside the spare bedroom, hand poised over the knob. “There is no hurry. I thought it best we both have a chance to ponder what we’ve talked about so far and get a good night’s rest. We can discuss something as important as a contract in the morning.” He opened the door and ushered Joshua in. “This will be your room.” He pointed to one of the closed doors. “That is the bathroom. Go ahead and take a shower, there are towels beneath the sink. I’ll be right back.”
“Sir? Where are you going?”
The slightly panicked tone in Joshua’s voice had Nash stopping at the door. “I’m just going to go get you some clean clothes to put on.”
“Oh, okay. Thank you, Sir.”
Nash watched Joshua as he took in the room, running his fingers over the bed and across the dresser, looking confused and a little lost. “Joshua?”
“Yes, Sir?” Joshua met Nash’s gaze.
“It really has been a great night, and I’m glad you’re here.”
Joshua worried his bottom lip with his teeth. “I’m happy to be here.”
Nash left the room unsure if Joshua was being truthful and knew pain was only one of the issues they would have to work through. But first, Nash had to earn his trust.