That night at supper Jo kept raising her eyebrows at Issy, giving her looks that said, We’ve got a secret. Issy felt a tingle of excitement as she remembered Jo’s promise.
Sophy noticed too. ‘What’s up with you and Jo?’ she whispered.
‘I don’t know,’ confessed Issy. ‘She says she’s going to do something to cheer me up, but she won’t say what it is yet.’
Sophy’s hazel eyes widened. ‘Oh … I hope Jo’s idea of cheering someone up is something you’ll like!’
Issy giggled. ‘I’m sure she wouldn’t do anything too bad,’ she said.
Sophy started to say something else, but broke off as Vanessa’s snooty voice rose above the chatter at their end of the table.
‘Your twin seems to have found a new best friend, Maisie,’ she said with a smirk. ‘What’s the matter – aren’t you two speaking to each other?’ She nudged Lou, who sniggered.
Issy looked at Vanessa with dislike. The blonde girl was always stirring and loved it when friends fell out with each other.
Maisie, who had been talking to Jo, looked up in surprise. ‘What are you on about?’ she asked.
‘Well, she and Jessica seem awfully cosy now, don’t they?’ said Vanessa, pointing to the other end of the table. Milly and Jessica – a tall, slim girl who was as graceful on the ice as Milly was – were talking and laughing together.
Maisie shook her head. ‘So what? We’re just twins – we’re not joined at the hip! We’re allowed to have other friends. And Milly and Jess have loads in common.’
Vanessa looked flustered. She tossed her head, trying to hide it. ‘Well – I just thought –’
‘Don’t think, OK?’ broke in Maisie. ‘You don’t seem to be very good at it!’ Suddenly her eyes sparkled and she broke into song. ‘Act your age, not your shoe size!’ she warbled at Vanessa.
The girls around them all burst into laughter. ‘Very mature!’ sniffed Vanessa, turning away.
To Issy’s relief, Sophy didn’t say anything else about Jo after that. Instead the two girls talked about the baby ice dragons in the woods, and whether they might be trying to fly yet. But, as Jo gave her a secret wink, Issy felt a nervous excitement flutter through her.
What was Jo up to?
On Friday Issy was allowed back on to the ice. She changed out of her slipper-boots in the changing room, fiddling for a long time with her skates.
‘Aren’t you coming?’ asked Sophy, waiting for her.
Issy forced a smile. ‘Yep, I’m just coming now.’ Her heart was thumping as she and Sophy went to the rink together. What’s wrong with me? she thought in confusion. Why aren’t I looking forward to skating?
‘It’s lovely to have you back, Issy,’ said Madame Letsworth with a warm smile as the other girls in the advanced group grinned at her. ‘We’re just about to practise our footwork exercises.’
For a change, Issy was glad to spend time on her footwork. The familiar exercises seemed comforting somehow. She felt herself begin to relax. But then it was time to work on their jumps. Madame Letsworth told Issy, Maisie and Jessica to practise their competition routines on their own for a bit, while she helped Milly work on her triple toe loop.
Issy hesitated and then slowly started to skate. I can do it, she thought. I’m just a bit out of practice after a few days off, that’s all. Taking a deep breath, she picked up speed. She managed the double toe loop fine. OK, she thought, taking another deep breath. I can do this.
Her first double axel was coming up. Getting ready, Issy leant on the forward outside edge of her right foot. Suddenly she remembered the terrifying sensation of her feet shooting out from under her. Her heart started pounding and she slowed back down, her feet still firmly on the ice.
She tried a second time, skating even faster. But it happened again. When Issy got to the point where she was supposed to jump, the fall flashed through her mind and she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Issy felt a bit panicked. Quickly she went into backward crossovers, picking up speed. Shifting her weight to her left foot, she touched her right toe pick to the ice and leapt up into the air, spinning twice before she landed. Another double toe loop. At least she could do those.
Feeling better, she attempted a double axel again, but the same thing happened as before. Her body just seemed to freeze suddenly and she pulled sharply out of the jump, her heart thumping.
Madame Letsworth came gliding over to her. ‘How are you doing, Issy?’
From her concerned tone, Issy knew Madame Letsworth had noticed the way she had abandoned the double axel. ‘Fine,’ she said, looking down.
Madame Letsworth put a finger under Issy’s chin, tipping her head up. ‘My dear, there’s nothing wrong with being afraid,’ she said gently. ‘Particularly after a bad fall. You must be able to confront fear to be a good skater … and to be the Ice Princess.’
‘I’m not afraid,’ Issy said quickly. She couldn’t be; she had never been afraid of skating in her life!
Madame Letsworth looked at her steadily. ‘I can see you’ve lost confidence. I wish I could tell you how to get it back, but everyone has to find their own way. You can do it, Issy, I promise you, but first you must admit it.’
Issy tried to smile. ‘Thank you, but, um … I’m fine,’ she said. ‘I’m really not scared. I’ve … I’ve just still got a headache, I think, that’s all. Please may I go inside now?’
Madame Letsworth gave her another long, level look and Issy felt her cheeks grow warm. ‘Of course,’ her teacher said finally. ‘But, Issy, please think about what I’ve said, won’t you?’
‘I will,’ said Issy. And then she skated off the ice as fast as she could.
‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you!’ exclaimed Sophy. Issy was in the library, reading a book about the different creatures that lived in the land. ‘What happened to you during the lesson?’
‘Nothing. I had a headache, that’s all.’ Issy turned a page guiltily.
Sophy sat down beside her, looking concerned. ‘Oh. Well … are you OK now?’
Issy shrugged. ‘I suppose.’
‘Do you think you’ll be skating this afternoon, during free time?’ asked Sophy.
Issy swallowed. Closing the book, she pushed it away. ‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘But I’ve been thinking about my routine and – and I think you were right about the double axel all along. It’s too difficult for me.’
Sophy’s eyes widened. ‘But you were doing really well with it. And what about pushing yourself, like you were saying I should do?’
Issy ran a finger over the book’s cover. ‘I know, but …’ She trailed off.
Suddenly a look of understanding crossed Sophy’s face. ‘Is, are you scared of doing the double axel now?’
Issy felt irritation prickle through her. Why did everyone keep saying she was afraid? First Madame Letsworth and now Sophy …
‘Of course not,’ she said abruptly. ‘I just don’t see the point of working too hard this week, that’s all. I’ve already missed so much practice that there’s no way I’d win the competition anyway.’
Sophy stared at her. ‘But that’s not like you! You mean you’re not even going to try the double axel again?’
Issy shook her head, feeling uncomfortable. ‘No.’
‘But what about being the Ice Princess, Is?’ burst out Sophy. ‘If you don’t do a routine that shows courage then the teachers might not think about choosing you!’
‘I don’t care!’ cried Issy. ‘I don’t really want to be the Ice Princess anyway.’
She felt her eyes get hot and she shoved her chair back and walked quickly away. She knew it was a lie about not wanting to be the Ice Princess, but she also knew she just couldn’t do the double axel again, however hard she tried.
I can’t, Issy thought despairingly. I really can’t.