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Taryn
THE NEXT WEEK PASSES in a blur. Sibylle leaves in a cloud of excitement for her audition. Jaidev and I attend classes and the full-cast rehearsals and keep practicing our divertissement pas de deux—though suddenly things feel...different between us. I don’t know why, but he keeps smiling at me. Keeps looking like he’s about to say something, but then he doesn’t. He just focuses on the pas de deux, or whatever training we’re doing or sometimes he focuses on the couple who are understudies for the divertissement. They’ve mainly been standing on the sidelines of our pas de deux rehearsals, learning our choreography.
In my pointe and flexibility classes, and during the fall tour rehearsals, Marion and Victoria keep making digs at me, though nothing more happens to me. They just really seem to hate me, so I conclude that one of them has to be behind the lipstick-mirror note, my destroyed photo board, and the pushpins in my shoes—I just can’t imagine either Ivelisse or Sibylle doing those, and besides, both of them seem to have accepted they’re not going to Roseheart. Sibylle messages me from the hotel she’s staying at for her audition—she’s staying there for quite a few extra days and uses lots of exclamation marks to tell me about her sight-seeing—and Ivelisse asks for my opinion on which routine she should record for a video audition at one of the Russian companies. I give her advice and even help her record it, even though I’m not sure a Russian company is the best choice for her; they nearly always favor the stick-thin, almost skeletal-looking ballerinas and it worries me, the idea of her being around so many really thin dancers. Would that worsen her anorexia, make her compete against them to be the skinniest? We never found any ‘evidence’ in our room to suggest her eating disorder has worsened, but we’re not doctors or therapists, and I know we don’t know all the signs. Still, I don’t think she’s been sick since. That must’ve just been a one-off, despite what Alma thinks. Sibylle wasn’t worried really when I last talked to her about it. Alma, on the other hand, said she was worried, but her eyes had lit up, kind of like the idea of being worried excited her because she thought it equaled drama.
Still, I always assumed that Ivelisse would go back to the US when she graduated. Not just because she always complained about how much paperwork she needed to fill out to be able to study abroad, but also because her immediate family is in New York. Then again, I don’t know whether they’re close.
Helena’s shoes still haven’t turned up. That’s one thing that’s really getting to me. Whoever is targeting me has to have taken them. I wonder if they’ve still got them, or if the pointes are now in landfill somewhere, mangled and dirty. I want to ask my new friends Nora and Li Hua and Netty Florence if they’ve noticed any new pointes appear in any of the dorms, but I also don’t want to be accusatory. Those dancers may like me at the moment, but I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining and trying to get Marion and Victoria in trouble. It could easily get back to them, and they already hate me enough as it is.
I need to see if I can search Marion’s and Victoria’s rooms one time, I know that. See if I can find Helena’s shoes. But how? I was already frightened away from their accommodation block two weeks ago, and I’m not the kind of person to break in—even if I could walk through the main doors—and snoop. I felt bad enough with the plan to Ivelisse’s things with Alma and Sibylle.
“Hey, Taryn,” a voice says, startling me, just as I’m outside Studio 14, waiting for Jaidev for our next practice.
My eyes widen as I turn. That voice.
And I see him. See his soft brown eyes and the way he’s smiling.
“Teddy!” I squeal, and I run to him, hug him.
He grunts, makes a soft oof noise.
I pull back. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
“I’m fine.” He smiles. He hasn’t got the nose splint on now, and his nose looks pretty good—but apart from that, he looks...different. But I can’t put my finger on what it is. What are you doing here, Teddy?”
“Teddy?” Jaidev’s voice makes me stop. I hadn’t realized he’d appeared, but now he has stopped next to me. “Well, it’s nice to meet you.”
Teddy raises one eyebrow. “Jaidev Ngo, I presume?”
Jaidev nods and then wrings his hands together a little.
I turn back to Teddy. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m just on my way to see the housekeeper,” he says.
“You’re nowhere near housekeeping,” Jaidev says. And he’s right. We’re in the company grounds.
Teddy shrugs. “I thought I’d come by the studios. Try to surprise you.”
I cannot stop smiling, and I’m aware I probably look weird. My face is even beginning to hurt from the effort. I don’t even care that he barely replied to my messages “But you’re back?” I ask. “Like, properly?”.
He nods. “Well, choreography course. I’m doing extra lessons this summer before it starts in September.”
“So, you can’t dance anymore?” Jaidev asks, his voice clipped and strange. He folds his arms. He’s still standing right behind me.
I give him an odd look before turning back to Teddy.
“Not for the moment,” Teddy says, his voice thick.
“Oh, it’s just so great you’re back,” I say.
Jaidev taps my shoulder. “Come on, we need to practice.”
“Just give me a moment,” I say, a little irritation pulling through me.
“Why don’t you go in and start warming up?” Teddy says to him. “I won’t be a minute with Taryn.”
Jaidev doesn’t look happy as he enters the studio without me, but I barely concentrate on that. I just look at Teddy. Teddy who’s here. Who I never thought I’d see again. Who I thought I’d lost my connection with. But I was wrong. Teddy and I can recover. We’re best friends. Of course we can.
“Does he know?” Teddy asks me.
“Know?” I raise my eyebrows. “What?”
“About who you are.” He lowers his voice. “Ace and aro.”
“Uh, no.” I let out a half-laugh. “Why would I tell him? That’s my own business.”
His gaze is cool. “I don’t need to be allo to know that man likes you, is attracted to you. And he’s getting ideas.”
“He’s not getting ideas.” I shake my head. Honestly, the idea is absurd.
“Good,” Teddy says, “then I’ve got nothing to worry about.”
Nothing to worry about? I frown, but I can’t ask anymore because then Evangeline arrives to run through our choreography to see if any tweaks are needed at this stage.
“See you later,” Teddy says, and he leaves.
The whole practice with Jaidev has me trying to work out what Teddy meant, why he would think that Jaidev is into me, and what Teddy means about nothing to worry about. But, honestly, it’s like everyone is speaking a language I don’t know. Even Teddy.