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Jaidev
A WEEK HAS PASSED SINCE Victoria was arrested, and I’m still keeping a close eye on Taryn, a protective eye. If I hear people talking about her, I say something. I’m not the only one either. Ivelisse is very vocal about it, and so is Sibylle, to an extent—though I notice there’s a little tension between her and Taryn that I don’t understand and that neither girl explains.
But I stick close to Taryn, as much as I can without seeming creepy, and she does seem genuinely appreciative of it. Teddy’s around a lot too, but I almost don’t mind that as much now. He nods at me, manages to even hold a small conversation, without glaring.
And with the messages explained and Victoria away, things feel better for me and Taryn. She’s definitely more relaxed, less tension in her shoulders every time we’re in a studio, dancing and training. She’s not jumpy, and she even goes into one of her flexibility classes smiling when I walk her to it after our solo class with the pas de deux teacher.
We haven’t heard what’s happened to Victoria, but Trent tells me that Marion and Harry were also both called into the police station the morning after Victoria was taken in. There are rumors they’re all being charged, rumors they’ve been kicked out of Roseheart, even rumors that their ballet reputations are over.
“And they deserve it,” Netty Florence says. “What they did to you, Taryn, was awful.”
Taryn nods.
We’re sitting in the café, just before a group rehearsal for the tour. Netty Florence and Hazma will then go to do their own rehearsal for their pas de deux. The two principals are side by side, then there’s me and Taryn on one side of the table, and Li Hua and Trent on the other. It’s nice, sitting as a group.
“I still can’t believe we are now Oberon and Titania in the Midsummer tour,” Li Hua says, smiling at Trent.
Yesterday evening, we all heard that Victoria, Marion, and Harry are officially out of the tour. It’s unclear if there’ll be able to return to Roseheart at all.
Trent fist-pumps the air. “My gran’s going to the Liverpool showing of it, too. She’s going to be made up. Guess it really does pay to be the understudy for a lead role.”
“Wonder how they’ll recast the other roles though,” I say. With Li Hua and Trent now having lead roles, Helena and Demetrius should now be played by their understudies—but I heard yesterday that they both got injured during a lift.
Zara, the understudy for Marion’s character is okay though, and Zara’s original role was a small one anyway that apparently she can still do alongside playing Hippolyta. But now new dancers are going to need to learn the dances for Helena and Demetrius.
“They might bring Nora in,” Netty Florence says. “She played Helena a few years ago, when we also did the Midsummer tour, so she’d be familiar with it, too. Especially at such short notice. A dancer’s muscles never forget, and I’m sure choreography won’t have changed too much.”
Taryn nods.
“And I’m sure there’s a guy who can learn Demetrius at short notice,” Netty Florence continues. “You’ve still got a few weeks anyway. Not like it’s two days before.”
“Well, we’d better get going,” Taryn says. “We don’t want to be late.”
We’ve still got ten minutes before the next group rehearsal begins, but we amble along at a comfortable speed. A few others are there when we arrive, and then we’re all warming up together.
“Okay, new casting.” Mr. Vikas clears his throat and claps his hands before unfolding a piece of paper from the breast-pocket of his jacket. “Dancers, gather round. Li Hua and Trent and Zara are of course now Oberon and Titania and Hippolyta. Li Hua and Trent’s previous roles of Helena and Demetrius will now go to Jaidev and Taryn. There is still enough time for you two to learn that choreography. The divertissement will of course go to the planned understudies, Emma-Leigh and Rhys.”
My eyes widen. We’re Demetrius and Helena? I look at Taryn. She’s frozen.
“New understudies are also as follows: Taryn and Jaidev will also understudy the roles of Titania and Oberon.”
I inhale sharply. We’re understudies of the main roles as well?
“Emma-Leigh, you will also understudy Hippolyta. If need be, you can play both her and the role in the divertissement. With five cast members now out, we will have to double up on more roles.” He reads out more changes to casting, then looks at us all. “We’re going to need you all taking on extra rehearsals to make sure you’re ready. We’ve not had to make such big changes to casting before, especially so soon before a tour starts, and we need to make this work. And Taryn.” Mr. Vikas pauses, touching her shoulder lightly. She tenses up. “I’m sorry about what some of our dancers put you through. That is unacceptable.”
She nods and says thank you.
And then Mr. Vikas starts the rehearsal, beginning with the choreography for Oberon and Titania. Li Hua and Trent are already very fluid with it, having already been practicing it as understudies, and Taryn and I watch from the sidelines. We know Mr. Vikas doesn’t like the understudies dancing at the edges of the studio when he’s assessing the dancers cast for the roles, so we remain as invisible as possible, until he has finished advising Li Hua and Trent. Then he and Evangeline move over to us, explaining the choreography for Helena and Demetrius. As the previous dancers for the roles, Li Hua and Trent are asked to demonstrate their marriage pas de deux for it.
“Though of course you’ll be on stage with the two other couples for the wedding scene,” he tells us. “But it’s not so much a pas de six as rather three separate pas de deux happening on stage at the same time, as we don’t directly interact with the other couples.”
I nod.
Then I realize it, realize what being in these roles, as Demetrius and Helena, means for us.
Taryn and I will have to kiss.
But she won’t want to.
Oh God.
It’s about all I can think of when I’m supposed to be concentrating on the instructions Li Hua and Trent are now giving us, after Mr. Vikas has finished with us and has moved to advise the next dancers who are now learning completely new roles, alongside Evangeline.
“I’m sure we can choreograph it a bit differently for the kiss,” I say when Taryn and I start running through movements and combinations, after the session, when it’s just the two of us. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. What if I turned my back more on the audience and just lent toward you? If I just got this close—” I stop an inch from her face. “I don’t think anyone would notice.”
“We can’t do that in rehearsals though, or for the final assessment,” she says. “Mr. Vikas and Mr. Aleks would notice. Look, it’s okay. I can kiss on stage. I don’t want special treatment. I’ve had to do it before. With Teddy and Advik and Xavier. It’s just kissing. It doesn’t really mean anything.”
But still, it makes me uncomfortable. Especially when I suggested to her before that we get together. She’s going to think I’m getting what I wanted—even though it’s about as far as I can imagine from what I wanted.
We stay late, practicing the new choreography. We’d thought eight weeks to learn choreography was hard enough. Now it’s all changed. New roles to learn as Helena and Demetrius, as well as our understudy roles of Titania and Oberon.
Suddenly, it makes us seem so much more important to the tour, so much more vital. We matter for this tour. We’re important.
And there’s so much to learn.
“Shall we try it then? The routine where Helena and Demetrius get married?” Taryn asks.
My breath catches in my throat. This is the one containing the kiss, the triple wedding in the scene, with Lysander and Hermia and Theseus and his bride, as well as our characters. “Are you sure?”
“It’s part of the job, nothing more,” she says.
I nod. But I’m nervous. Of course I’m nervous. I can’t just turn off my feelings, but I respect her, and I tell myself this won’t be anything more. It’s purely professional.
We dance, our steps light, and my heart thumping. We get closer and closer. I can smell her shampoo as I stare into her eyes.
I hold her, tight.
Kissing her isn’t how I thought it would be—before I knew she was aroace. When I’d been talking to Trent about how much I liked her, I’d let myself get carried away. I’d imagined how soft and tender kissing her would be, and I’d thought about how she’d kiss me back, wrapping her arms around me.
But this is a short kiss. A quick one. Me kissing her. She doesn’t really kiss back—not in the way Camille did.
“Okay?” I ask, pulling back.
She nods, and I see movement behind her in the window of the door. It’s Teddy.
Even from here I can see the smoldering hurt in his eyes.