16

It took Jason so long to answer his phone that Karen expected it to go to voicemail. She was already anticipating an uptick in anxiety when he finally answered with a gruff, ‘Aye, boss?’

‘Hi Jason. I thought you might have checked in before now? How did you get on with backtracking Jake Stein’s events?’

He cleared his throat. ‘Aye, I got a list from his publicist: book events and, you were right, he did do some workshops in the months before he died.’

‘And? You got details?’

‘Uh huh. I’ve managed to speak to some of the people who ran things.’

He sounded curiously flat, Karen thought. Normally, Jason resembled a puppy. Full of springiness or, when he fucked up, tail between his legs, crawling mournfully into a corner. Now, he was almost robotic in his responses. ‘Are you OK, Jason?’

‘I’m not getting very far with these inquiries, boss. The ones I talked to about events never noticed anybody like Lara Hardie talking to Stein longer than it took to sign a book. Nobody hanging about him that was remotely like her. I’ve got lists of the people who attended his workshops and so far her name isn’t on them. I’ve got a few to go. I’ll keep at it.’

‘It’s maybe getting a bit late to be calling people, Jason. It’s nearly nine o’clock. People might get a wee bit freaked out, getting a call from the polis at this time of night in the middle of a pandemic.’

He made a strange noise, almost like a choked sob. ‘Aye, right,’ she thought he said. And realised there were none of the usual Eilidh noises off.

‘Jason – what’s going on? You don’t sound yourself.’

‘It’s my mum.’ No mistaking it now, his voice was choked, the distress obvious.

‘What’s happened?’ Karen had a feeling she already knew the answer.

‘She’s got . . . She’s got the COVID.’

‘Oh, Jason. That’s hellish. How is she doing?’ Her heart went out to him; in spite of his surface bounce, he was a man who felt things deeply, and she knew how devoted he was to his mother.

Now he was sobbing. Full-on sobbing like a small child. Where was Eilidh? Why was she not making soothing noises? Daisy was frowning a question at her. Karen held up a finger, demanding silence.

Jason managed to get himself under control surprisingly quickly. ‘Sorry, sorry,’ he mumbled.

‘No need for sorry. I know how worried you must—’

‘She’s in the hospital. The Vic. She’s got an oxygen mask on and she’s running a temperature and we’re not allowed anywhere near her and she’ll be in a right state and . . . ’ He ran out of breath. He gulped for air. ‘I’m scared, Karen. I’m really scared.’

That he used her name told her all she needed to know about the state of his emotions. ‘Where are you, Jason?’ Praying the answer wasn’t, ‘Kirkcaldy.’

‘I’m in the office.’

‘Our office? In Gayfield Square?’

‘I had to get some fresh air. And then I realised I needed to occupy myself or I’d just totally crack up. And if I went back to the flat . . . well, Eilidh would just keep going on about how it’s all going to be OK and not to worry. And I was up the top of the Walk, so I thought, all my info is on the system, I can crack on with that. You know?’

Karen knew. She’d made her own negotiations with fear and grief. ‘I understand. Have you told Eilidh where you are?’

A shuddering sigh. ‘No. I couldn’t face it.’

‘OK. Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to call Eilidh and tell her not to worry about you. And you’re going to finish up for tonight and put on your jacket. I’ll meet you on one of the benches on the green outside the nick and we’ll have a wee drink together and then I’ll walk you back down to your flat. And if there’s no news from the Vic, in the morning, you can come back up and we’ll have a cup of coffee outside before you get back to the job. I think that’s what Sandra would want – she’s so proud of you, Jason. She’d be mortified to think she’d diverted you from your work. Is that OK?’

‘Aye, boss. Give me ten minutes to finish up.’

Karen ended the call and let out a long breath. ‘Jason’s mum’s in the hospital with COVID.’

‘I figured it was something like that. And he’s in the office, am I right?’

‘He needed to get some air. And then he needed to stay busy.’ Karen was already on her feet, heading for the coat pegs.

‘And he didn’t need Eilidh wondering when she’d be able to cheer Sandra up with a new hairstyle.’ Daisy’s tone was acid.

‘Poor lassie hasn’t got much in the way of hidden depths.’

‘He deserves better.’

‘Aye, but he’s got to work that out for himself.’

‘This might be the perfect time. I gather you’re going to meet him?’

Karen came back into the room and opened the drinks cabinet. ‘With a wee bit of Scotch courage.’ Gin was her spirit of choice, but not something she could drink neat. She took out one of Hamish’s hip flasks and filled it with a Speyside single malt – what he would call a ‘morning whisky’. Nothing too challenging for her or for Jason, but a good quality dram that would slip down easily. ‘He needs to feel he’s not facing this without support. Can you call Eilidh and let her know he’s OK and on his way home?’

Daisy groaned. ‘I get all the good jobs. Sure, I’ll do that.’

As she descended the stairs to the street, Karen remembered she was supposed to make a phone call at nine. Would this day never end? As she walked, she speed-dialled her home number. For the second time, she feared she was about to reach voicemail, but then she heard Rafiq’s voice. ‘Hello?’ Tentative, for obvious reasons.

‘Hi, Rafiq. It’s me, Karen. Is everything OK with you?’

‘Better than OK. I thank you very much for this. Your flat is very comfortable and you are very generous.’

‘You figured out how things work? The TV, the cooker?’

‘It’s good. I have used your shower and I feel really clean for the first time in a long time.’ He chuckled. ‘Your boyfriend is indeed much bigger than me, but it feels good to wear something fresh. And to eat proper food. You have saved my life. I do not understand why, but I am grateful.’

The warmth in his voice was embarrassing her. ‘I’m happy to help. But we need to sort you out some clothes that fit better. I can meet you tomorrow evening at the breakwater and we can order some online.’

‘I cannot pay for this,’ he said. ‘Perhaps Miran can lend me some?’

‘Don’t worry about that just now.’ Karen did the time sums in her head. ‘Meet me opposite the main entrance to the block, by the sea. Half past ten?’

‘I will. Thank you. A million times.’

As she ended the call, she turned into the bottom of Gayfield Square. Jason was already hunched on one of the benches. As Karen approached, he shifted along to the far end. He greeted her with a small nod. She could see well enough under the street lights to notice his eyes were red and swollen.

‘I’m truly sorry about your mum, Jason.’

He nodded again. ‘She really likes you, boss.’

‘Do you know how she got it?’

He shrugged. ‘Must have been at her work. You know she’s working in a care home now, three days a week?’

Karen took out the hip flask and a packet of disinfectant wipes. She cleaned the outside of the flask and the little cap that doubled as a cup. She poured some whisky into the cup then passed the flask to Jason. ‘Help yourself, I’ve got plenty here,’ she said.

He looked on the verge of tears again. ‘You shouldn’t have bothered.’ Nevertheless, he accepted the flask and took a deep swig. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and said, ‘Good stuff.’

‘Hamish,’ she said.

‘Aye, well. You’re a gin drinker, you’d know no different.’ He managed a crooked smile.

‘Any news?’

Jason shook his head. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ He turned away.

‘Oh my God, Jason.’ She couldn’t help herself. ‘You’ve got cornrows up the back of your head.’ She stifled a laugh.

He swiftly swivelled back to face her. ‘I know. Does it look as stupid as it feels?’

‘I don’t know. Is it possible to feel that stupid?’ They grinned at each other, a beautiful moment of escape from anxiety.

They finished the whisky in silence. ‘Let’s get away down the hill,’ Karen said. As they stood, Karen put a hand on his arm. ‘I’ve got your back, Jason. Any time you need to let off steam, I’m here.’

‘Thanks, boss. That means a lot.’

‘Just don’t tell anybody, right?’

‘Your secret’s safe with me.’

They set off, Karen asking Jason for more details about the calls he’d been making. Work, the balm for all miseries. For a lot of people, its absence was going to be the hardest part of lockdown. For the briefest of moments, she felt lucky.