A Seed of Doubt is Sown
‘It’s preposterous, Katrina, you cannot allow it. Frederick cannot do this to you. That woman is a murderer! It is enough that he had her sentence commuted to six months’ hard labour, when she stood to face the gallows, but to bring her here to your home! She is his lover, for God’s sake! How you even allowed Frederick to bring her sister here and have her educated, I just don’t know.’
‘Marcia, Ruth Dovecote is not Frederick’s lover.’
‘Yet! Katrina, are you mad? You know he is in love with the girl.’
‘I do not. Frederick has told me that he isn’t, and it was just part of the spite that Lord Bellinger meted out when—’
‘Rot! Look at the evidence. Oh, I suppose he has given you reasons for his actions where that slut is concerned, has he? Explained why he paid someone to look for her, then engaged the best lawyer there is going and—’
‘How do you know all this? In fact how do you know any of it, Marcia? All you are talking about is what Lord Bellinger contrived. I didn’t tell you any of it, and I know Frederick wouldn’t have . . . You’ve been seeing him, haven’t you? You and Bellinger have . . .’ The thought hurt so much that Katrina found herself backing towards a chair. Her legs shook and almost let her down. God, she couldn’t bear it: Marcia and Bellinger. Her own sister!
The pain of this, she knew, was embedded in her own love for Simon Bellinger – a love she hated feeling, and would cut out of her if she could. He’d used her; used her and then moved on to her sister.
Marcia’s face held a mocking smile. ‘Did you think you were the only one for Simon? Silly Katrina.’
‘What do you mean? I am not for him at all. I—’
‘Oh, don’t come the innocent with me. Your wedding night, dear sister . . . remember? It wasn’t your husband who deflowered you, was it?’
‘He told you!’
‘No, he doesn’t know that I know. I was hanging around your quarters, hoping to see Frederick. You know how I feel about him – you knew before you married him – but you still went ahead. Well, now I know things. And one of them is what happened on your wedding night. If you are with child, Katrina, it could well be Bellinger’s, not Frederick’s. And I know – and let me tell you, this hurts me more than it does you – that Frederick is in love with that whore who is now in prison, and wants to bring her here on her release.’
‘No! No, Marcia, you don’t know all of that. You have surmised it. You are more jealous of what Frederick does than I am. I pity you.’ Katrina’s thoughts were not those of pity for Marcia, but of fear of what she had said. God, I hadn’t thought of being with child! Please don’t let me be. What did Annie say? That’s it, I need to miss my monthly and then I will begin to feel sickly in the mornings. Well, my monthly didn’t come – I’m weeks late!
‘Don’t feel pity for me, thank you. Pity yourself, because when I tell Frederick the truth, he will drop you as soon as look at you. Oh, he’ll keep up the charade, but he’ll feel that he can openly take lovers and flaunt them in your face; and if I have anything to do with it, I will be one of them!’
This had Katrina defeated. Her head pounded. What had gone wrong? She’d tried to fight Frederick over having the sisters here. She hadn’t minded Amy so much. She was a pleasant girl and, by all accounts, was learning fast and would be ready to be a nanny and then later a governess, when they had children. And Amy’s friend was proving to be an excellent cook, which was invaluable, as the one who worked for Frederick had long passed retirement age and had been glad just to stay a while to teach the girl. But this other one, the cripple, was it true? Could Frederick be in love with her? No! Frederick was just being kind. But then why did he need her here? There was very little she could do around the house. Her affliction would prevent her from coping with the heavy chores. Even getting around this huge place would be a problem to her.
Frederick had asked, on his last visit, that she give some thought to a position for the girl, but as yet she’d only come up with setting her to helping the laundry maids – mending and ironing. But if . . . No, Frederick wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t insult her in that way!
She and he were happy. Even falling in love with each other a little. Their lives were harmonious, and their love-making had blossomed as they’d become more experienced and was now at an exquisite level. All in all, they had been very happy, if not fully in love. They liked each other.
Frederick’s visits home had been more frequent than he’d planned during this last month. He’d said he couldn’t stay away, that he needed to be with her. And Katrina knew that she needed him – needed what they did together. They lusted after each other, and she’d thought that was enough. It had compensated her for being with the wrong man. God, why did she have these feelings for Bellinger? And he for her? Because he did, she knew that. He expressed them every time they came into contact. And now her heart felt torn to shreds on discovering that he was lying with her sister. Perhaps she should be more understanding of the possibility of Frederick being in love with this crippled girl. He wouldn’t have asked to fall for her, any more than she herself had asked to love Simon Bellinger. Frederick probably hated himself for it just as vehemently as she hated herself – maybe he imagined the girl when they came together, in the same way she did Simon. God, what a mess!
‘Are you all right, Katrina? You’ve gone very pale.’
‘I – I’m fine. Please leave me a moment, Marcia. I’ve had all I can take of your spite for one day.’
‘I’m sorry. I love you really – you know I do. It’s just that, well, it isn’t easy being the youngest. Father has not helped my prospects at all. You have everything, as well as the man I love. It just isn’t fair!’
‘Stop it, Marcia! Just leave me alone for a while. What with you and the noise of the men working on the decorating of this place, I am at my wits’ end. I wish Mother had never suggested that you came with me. Why she did, I cannot imagine. Thank goodness Frederick will be home later this week, and that he and I are off to France next week. We will be free of the lot of you!’
Afraid that she’d gone too far, Marcia did as she was bid and left the room. As she rang the bell cord just outside the door, she felt a moment of remorse. She shouldn’t take it out on Katrina; it was childish and unfair. None of it was her sister’s fault – well, sleeping with Simon Bellinger was. Why she had, Marcia couldn’t imagine, unless . . . No, Katrina couldn’t be in love with Bellinger? But then Katrina’s reaction to thinking Marcia was having an affair with him did seem to indicate that. Good God! Well, all of this might just turn in my favour . . . All she had to do was take Simon Bellinger up on his constant attempts to get her into his bed, then flaunt it in front of Katrina to the point where she sought out Bellinger – or, wait a moment . . . Wouldn’t it be better to help Katrina get into Bellinger’s bed and have them caught? Yes, that was it! Surely then it would be an easy matter for herself to become Frederick’s mistress?
‘You rang, Miss Marcia?’
‘Yes, Annie. Lady Katrina is very upset. We had a silly sisterly falling-out, but I am worried about her. Will you please attend to her, as she is in the throes of one of her headaches? It’s my fault. Oh, and can you ask someone to come to my room in about half an hour, as I have a telegram I want to send. Thank you.’
‘Marcia, what is going on? I was just coming to join you and Katrina when I heard your raised voices. Is there something concerning my son that I should be worried about?’
‘Oh, Lady Eleonore, you made me jump. I – I . . .’
‘I heard some of what was said. I did not mean to eavesdrop, but what I did hear was very unpleasant. Be so kind as to come to my sitting room and explain.’
The uncomfortable feeling that now prickled Marcia crawled over her entire body. This was something she hadn’t expected. She’d enquired of Lady Eleonore before she’d gone in to tackle Katrina, and had been told that she was taking her afternoon nap. The last thing she wanted was for others to know her true feelings towards her sister – or anything that Katrina or she had done.
‘Please sit down. Would you like tea? Or maybe a glass of lemonade?’
‘No, thank you, My Lady. I have a telegram I want to send to Mother and Father.’ God, she hoped that lie was believed, but if not, it might trigger Lady Eleonore to reveal all she had heard.
‘Very well. Please explain what you meant by telling my son the truth, and him not wanting to be with Katrina, but possibly making a mistress of you.’
The hot, prickly feeling rushed to Marcia’s face. Oh no! Oh God, how do I get out of this? Maybe the truth will help? ‘I am mortified, Lady Eleonore, that you heard that. I do apologize. I – it was a reference to my love for Frederick. I have been in love with him for a long time, and hoped against hope that when poor Lord Bertram married Lady Katrina, Frederick would come into my company more and . . . Well, it has hurt me badly that my sister married Frederick for the reasons she did, knowing the truth about my feelings. I am truly sorry. What I said, I said in temper. My sister has never had much thought for me or for my feelings. I – I childishly wanted to hurt her.’
‘I see. So is that why your mother sent you here? Was she making sure you had no chance to be with Frederick, as he is staying with them?’
‘I think so. I am sorry, I—’
‘Please don’t be. I understand. I am very sorry for you, my dear. But to be fair, there was no other solution than them marrying. Not for us there wasn’t and . . .’
‘But Katrina—’ Biting her lip till it hurt stopped the stupid outburst that Marcia was about to make, concerning her sister’s misdemeanour.
‘Yes? Katrina what? Is she in love with another? Has she had an affair? Or committed some other deed likely to harm the marriage?’
‘No, Lady Eleonore.’
‘Good. Whatever the truth, that is the correct answer. Now, put all of this behind you. And learn a lesson from it. Women of our class rarely marry the one we love. We have to make the best of things as they are. Look to finding a good young man for yourself – a titled one, to please your mother; and, if possible, one who will provide for you. But with your father’s wealth, that isn’t a major need. In fact I will put out a few feelers. You are a very pretty girl, and an educated one, too. Add that to your prospects as a provider of financial help, and you should have the pick of the crop. Oh, I know you think yourself in love, but . . . well, un-think it and concentrate on nurturing love with whomever you marry.’
‘I will. Thank you, Lady Eleonore.’
‘Very well, you may leave me and go and send your telegram, if you must, but please don’t do so if your intention was to involve your parents in all of this, as that would be very upsetting to them.’
‘I won’t send it now. I am glad I have had this chat. I feel much better. I will see you at dinner, Lady Eleonore.’
‘You will, my dear.’
Feeling very pleased with herself at having not only pulled off a deceit, but having gained some sympathy and possibly even an ally in Katrina’s mother-in-law, while perhaps having sown a tiny seed of doubt in her mind as to Katrina’s character, Marcia smiled to herself as she wrote the telegram she’d intended to all along: to Lord Bellinger.
PLEASE VISIT BEFORE F ARRIVES HOME IN THREE DAYS’ TIME – STOP – NEED YOU – STOP – WANT TO SURPRISE F – STOP. K.
She hoped Lord Bellinger would know that the last bit was a subterfuge, so as not to alert the servants or anyone else who had sight of the telegram. It would also provide him with a reason for accepting the invitation without having to mention it to Lord Frederick.
A clever plan, Marcia thought, though she had to admit to a little nervousness as to whether Lord Bellinger would see what she actually intended behind the message; and, if she was guessing right, that once he was here, Katrina wouldn’t be able to resist him.
Now, if the first of these went well, she’d only have to put the second part into action: take Lady Eleonore out on a shopping trip or some such on the day, so that Lord Bellinger had a clear field with Katrina – and then plead a headache and return earlier than expected. Perfect!