A Shock Arrival
‘Nora, does you like this cottage? Are you happy?’
‘Aye, but it’s nowt like home, lass. I’d give what I have left of me front teeth to be back there.’
‘I would an’ all, and I don’t see why we can’t. It can be rebuilt. We’ll have the money between us, won’t we?’
‘Aye.’
‘Well, then? We could keep enough livestock and chickens for our own needs and rent off the bottom fields. And we could rent this cottage for an extra income.’
‘It sounds a good plan. But would you be safe, lass?’
‘I think I would. That judge said that anyone trying to harm me again will pay for it. And that lot at Pradley are scared. They still think I caused the devil to come to me that night when . . . Anyroad, I reckon as none of them will dare to come near.’
‘There’s one thing you’re forgetting, lass: your piano-playing. You’ll not get educated up there, as no one can get there.’
‘But I could come down. Twice a week, like Josh did.’
‘Naw, lass, I’ve other ideas. You’ve a long life ahead of you and I have been looking at ways of securing it. Making sure you’re safe. We’ve had a good offer for the farm and the market business. I want to put that money into the factories.’
‘What?’
‘Aye, I know it sounds mad, but them factories are growing in strength. Josh often read out bits about it to me. And he said as he was considering investing. Well, you know an owner, in that Earl bloke. We should ask him about it.’
Ruth listened in awe as Nora outlined what Josh had planned. He’d intended to put money into one of the smaller factories. Help it to become bigger and learn the trade. ‘He didn’t want to stay up there,’ Nora continued. ‘He always dreamed of a time when he could fetch me down here, and of him being a proper businessman. I think, if you get an education, you could do that for him. Make a better life for yourself, lass. Don’t go backwards. Leave behind you all that hiding from folk. You’re worth more than that. When you are somebody, nobody will dare harm you.’
‘But Josh allus said—’
‘What he said to you was done to protect you. While he had you, and you were in danger, he was allus going to stay up there, and he wanted you to think he wouldn’t have it any other way.’
The idea settled in her. Oh aye, she’d have a lot to learn. But she could. There was nothing that could stop her from learning. She’d start by getting a job in the mill. The Earl would see to it for her. It’d need to be in the mill that she and Nora invested in. She’d have to learn all of it, from the spinning to the weaving and where it was sold, and where the cotton came from to spin the yarn – everything. And at the same time she would get her education. She could do that at night.
‘Eeh, Nora, I feel that excited. It’s like a new life could open for me.’
‘Well, don’t tire yourself with it all. You’re still not well. Lie back and rest, while I get you some milk. And I’ve to dress that leg for you. It’s coming on nicely now. You’re on the mend, lass, you’re on the mend.’
Aye, and I have me plans to think about an’ all. Exciting plans – plans as will take all the space in me head, so as I can’t think on other things. And Amy’s visit to look forward to sometime soon. Eeh, life is good.
‘Eeh, our Amy, lass, it’s good to see you.’ The feel of Amy’s arms around her almost undid Ruth, but she pulled herself together to greet the girl who’d come with Amy. ‘And you’ll be Lettie? You’re welcome, Lettie. How long can you stay, our Amy?’
‘We’ve three days altogether, but one and a half of them are taken up with travelling. We’ve had to walk most of the way, then we picked up the mail carriage for the last leg. He told us he leaves tomorrow afternoon at two, so if we’re down bottom of the hill, he’ll pick us up there and take us as far as Threshfield, then we should be able to cadge a lift from there. We’ll make it. We’re not to be on duty till the next day.’
‘Well, Nora’ll be in soon. She’s made a lot of progress and can get down to the shop using her sticks. She’s taken great care of me. She does me dressings, washes me and does all the chores. I can’t wait to be well, so as I can help her. She’ll make you a brew when she’s back.’
‘We can do that, lass. And we can give Nora a break and do your leg an’ all. We were nurses back at that workhouse.’
‘Ta, Lettie. It’d be good to give Nora a rest. Eeh, our Amy, come here and give me another hug. I’ve so much to hear from you. By, love, we’ve been through the mill, and now we have to carry on without so many as we love . . .’ Her voice broke on a sob.
‘Naw, don’t go down that road, our Ruth.’
They clung together. Holding her sister once more brought everything they’d been through back into Ruth’s mind, and with the memory came the tears. Amy’s joined hers and together they sobbed.
‘Come on, me lasses. You’re through it all now. And you both have a good future ahead of you. Never look back. Look to the road ahead, eh?’
It took a few minutes for them to calm down, but when they did, they agreed with Lettie; and as Ruth told them how her future looked, they cheered up.
‘If you want to come here, our Amy, lass, you can. Are you happy where you are?’
‘I’m not altogether happy, our Ruth. I’m not for all the chores I have to do, but I’m looking forward to being in charge of babby when it arrives.’
‘Lady Katrina is having a babby!’ This news sent a pain through Ruth’s heart, but she suppressed it and made herself feel glad. She couldn’t have picked anyone nicer for her earl than Lady Katrina.
‘Aye, she’s only a few weeks off having it now. She’s been staying with her ma, here in Blackburn, but is coming home today. I’ve been trained . . .’ Amy told Ruth about the preparations she’d been through to become a nanny. ‘Lord Frederick’s old nanny trained me. Eeh, she’s a tartar! I won’t be doing half what she’s telling me to do. She used to swaddle the babbies up that tight, it’s a wonder they could breathe, poor mites. Anyroad, what I really want to do with me life is help them as are like us.’
As she listened to Amy’s plans to feed the poor and homeless with her wages, Ruth wasn’t surprised. Amy had always been a caring lass, and neither did it surprise her when Lettie chipped in that she wanted to help. Lettie was nice. She’d taken to the lass as soon as she’d smiled, and was halfway to liking her even before she met Lettie, on account of knowing that she was looking out for Amy.
It was a good thing Amy did, to get the lass out of that workhouse; and it was a good thing they were planning to do together. ‘I’ll help you with that, our lass, as I’d like to help them who are suffering as we once did. As I’ve told you, I’ve money coming to me, and I’ve prospects.’
‘That’d be grand, Ruth. Eeh, you in business! I hadn’t taken that part in proper. By, I’d love to join you. It sounds a lot better than being a nanny and a governess.’
‘Aye, and I would like to join you an’ all, Ruth. I’m not for cooking and doing. I enjoyed me work in the workhouse more than what I do now. I loved looking after the old and the sick.’
‘Well, let’s bide our time, eh? We’ve all got settled for now. Let’s keep it that way and work towards what we really want to do. Maybe, Lettie, if the Earl does start sommat up, as Amy said his intention is, you could do your nursing of the sick then?’
‘That’d be grand, and in the meantime I’ll start with putting kettle on and making us all a brew.’
When Lettie left them, Amy said, ‘That’s not what she’d really like to do. She has a massive musical talent.’
‘Eeh, our Amy, that’s funny you should say that. I’m for having a talent along the lines as you’ll never guess of: I can play piano.’
‘I know – I heard it from the Earl, but it didn’t sound real until you just said it. The piano! You can play piano? Well, our Ruth, you’d not have surprised me more if you’d have told me you’d grown another leg.’ They both laughed at how ironic this was. ‘Anyroad, Lettie’s talent is her voice. You should hear it. It makes your hair stand up.’
‘Lettie, sing? Ha, we’ll make a good pair, then. I could play sommat, if you and Lettie could help me to the piano; and if Lettie knows owt as I play, she could sing. Me piano’s in the parlour.’
Ruth hadn’t played for more than a few minutes when Lettie began to sing. It was a popular tune that Ruth had learned from Josh. The words Lettie put to it, and the sound of her beautiful voice, tightened Ruth’s throat. ‘Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound . . .’
None of them had heard the parlour door opening, but they all heard the deep groan that came from just inside the door.
‘Eeh, Nora – Nora, don’t take on. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have played. I should’ve known it would hurt you.’
‘Naw, lass, it were beautiful. It just made me think of our Josh. He loved that piano and he loved teaching you how to play it. He said as you could play in them concerts, if you could learn the music. It was going to be his next job, to teach you to read and write.’
There were more tears. Nora came over to Ruth and bent over, taking her in her arms. Ruth felt a breaking of her heart at this – at the loss of Josh, and the guilt she felt at bringing all she had down on him and his ma.
The two girls allowed them their grief, comforting them as best they could. It was Ruth’s cry of pain that stopped it all. The holler came from her without her bidding it, as the pain shot across her back, then clenched her stomach as if a vice had clamped on her.
‘Ruth – eeh, our Ruth, what is it?’
‘I don’t know, Amy, but . . . Oh, dear God. Oh, help me!’ Sweat stood out on Ruth’s face as the pain washed over her again. Holding her stomach, she doubled over.
Lettie took charge. ‘Let’s get her back to bed.’
As they tried to support her, another pain built inside her to unbearable proportions. This time she uttered a scream that echoed back at her, as Amy cried out in anguish, ‘Ruth, Ruth.’
‘Amy, stop that! Come on now, lass. Help me get Ruth back to her bed. Pull yourself together, we have to help her.’
The shout from Lettie did the trick. Amy calmed down and helped Lettie get her sister to her bed. As they did so, another pain seized Ruth and with it came an urge to draw up her knees and push.
‘My God, it looks like lass is having a babby! Ruth, are you pregnant?’
‘Naw, naw, I – I . . . Oh God, help meeeee!’
‘She is, she’s having a babby. Waters have broke. Get kettle on, Nora. Eeh, sorry, Missus, I’m Lettie – I’m a friend of Amy here, as I think you’ve met afore. I’m a nurse of sorts. Don’t worry: me and Amy’ll sort this. You get some clean towels and sommat to wash babby with, when it comes out.’
‘Aye, I gathered who you were. But a babby! Ruth?’
‘It’s not unheard of. By the sounds of things, your Josh was a man to be proud of. Well, it seems he’s left his mark on the world. Hurry, now.’
‘Oooh, oh God!’ The pain rose again. That was the only way Ruth could think of it: as rising. Starting badly, but rising to a peak she could hardly bear. Screams and curses came from her, and spittle ran down her chin.
But through it all, she felt a joy, because what Lettie had said could be the truth. It was nine months since she’d first lain with Josh. She’d not seen her bleeding since, but she had put it down to all that had happened to her. And she’d noticed that her belly had rounded, but again it could do that with the way they had starved her. At this, another horrific thought came to her: what if her babby were harmed . . . maimed, like her? It was more than a possibility, as no care had been given to it. ‘No. No. Please God, noooo!’
‘There’s worse things than having a babby, lass. Now, stop worrying and get on with bringing your child into the world.’
This, from Lettie, made her angry. ‘I’m not praying not to . . . Aghh!’ With the scream that came from Ruth at the next pain, her whole being bore down.
‘It’s coming, it’s coming. Eeh, our Ruth, I can see its head. It’s . . . Oh, Ruth, it’s here!’
There was a moment of relief, a moment of silence, then another scream shattered the air – a babby-scream, the like of which Ruth had heard many a time back home with her ma.
‘By, he’s a good pair of lungs on him, I’ll say that.’
A boy – oh, my Josh, we have a son. ‘Is he . . . is he all reet, Lettie?’
‘He’s a smasher. A bit small, but little ones have a habit of growing into giants. And he has a todger on him that’ll keep many a lass happy.’
‘Lettie! Ha-ha. Eeh, Lettie, you’re a one.’
This, from Amy, and her infectious laughter took the edge off the shock Ruth had felt at Lettie’s remark and she joined in the laughter. She had a boy . . . a son. She and Josh had a son.
‘Lass, lass, I don’t knaw what to say.’
‘I know, Nora. I’m in shock meself, but it’s a nice shock, eh? And, if it’s alreet with you, we’ll call him Josh, shall we?’
‘Aye, me Josh would have been so proud of him, and you. By, lass, we have our Josh back. Well, at least a big part of him, we do.’
As Lettie passed Ruth her son, all wrapped up in a huge towel, the tears flowed, but this time as she looked down at the little red and swollen face of her child, they were tears of joy. Nothing could have healed her like the love that now gushed from her. She’d go through it all again – the threat of burning, the starvation, the . . . Well, she’d not think on the rape, but the trial. Everything. Aye, she’d go through it all for this moment, which was making all of it pale in comparison. For little Josh had made her a whole person again, just as his dad had.
‘Reet, lass, hand him to his grandmother. We’ve still work to do. I’ve to help get afterbirth away, as it don’t seem to be coming on its own. You know about that, don’t you? It’s what’s been feeding babby, but you have no use of it now.’
‘Aye, I know. I helped at all me ma’s births from when I were nine years old.’ This brought Ruth tears of real sadness – cloying sadness that she couldn’t control.
‘Cry it out, lass. Every new mother does, whether they’ve sommat to cry about or not. It’s just a reaction. Now, let’s see how we’re doing.’