CHAPTER 3

 

 

 

Sweet sixteen and never missed

Is it better to be poorly kissed?

Lips of love I’ve never known

Someday, babe, they’ll call you home.

-Tessa and Unknown

 

 

 

KIP

 

 

“And if you add one more pair of socks you can get another pair for free.” Kip scanned the barcode and glanced up at the blonde co-ed chewing on the corner of her credit card. She was probably debating whether or not she needed five pairs of winter knee socks in the height of summer in California.

They were having a sale.

They were always having a sale. Shane kept the prices and deals competitive, making it easy for Soaring Bird to stay busy, even in the off-season months. They were the only surf and snow shop that remained fully stocked in inventory throughout the year. Other places you’d have to wait for seasonal changes or pay elevated prices online to get what you needed.

But since Shane had come from the traveling, competitive athlete background, he understood the necessity of supply.

The blonde looked from the sock display across the floor and back to Kip.

“I’ll wait for you if you need to go take a look,” he offered.

She flashed him an embarrassed smile. “Thanks.”

Kip suspended the transaction for the moment and folded her purchases as he waited.

A fresh breeze blew through the door as the bell sounded. He glanced up to greet the incoming customer and warmth spread through his chest when he recognized Tessa.

She spotted him immediately and grinned.

“Welcome to Soaring Bird,” he greeted. “Anything I can help you find today?”

Tessa approached the counter with Spencer right behind her.

Kip hadn’t seen Spencer in a few years, but she was hard to forget.

Wild, long blonde hair, tanned skin, periwinkle blue eyes, athletic build with long, lean muscles, and just a hint of badass.

“Hey, Kip,” Spencer greeted. She stood sideways to the counter and rested a hip against it while crossing her arms.

“Long time, no see, Clementine,” he returned, lifting his chin her direction before turning his attention back to Tessa.

“Hey,” she said with a small wave.

After her accidental video call last night, they’d spent hours talking until she’d nodded off to sleep at her desk.

As such, it didn’t feel like they were strangers anymore.

It felt easier.

“So, this is where all the cool kids hang out,” Tessa said, taking in the shop by turning in a slow circle. “I have to be honest,” she continued when she’d made one full rotation. “I’ve never been in here. I’ve never had a reason.”

“You don’t surf?” Kip asked. “That seems almost sacrilegious seeing as you live in the Surf Capital of the country.”

Tessa rolled her lips inward and shrugged. “Guess I haven’t gotten around to it. Is that all you have? Surfing…apparatus?” she finished slowly as if she were guessing at the best words to use.

“Oh, we have so much more.” Kip came around the counter. “Hey, Steve,” he called to his housemate-slash-coworker-slash-friend who’d been working on a water bottle display. “Can you finish this order for me?”

Steve lifted his head, craning his neck to spot the blonde headed back to the counter with two more pairs of their warmest socks.

Kip had gotten a glimpse of Tessa’s attire when she’d entered, but he took an extra moment to examine her once he reached her. The breath he inhaled weighed more than the one that had come before.

Her rich, dark hair hung free and straight down her back, ending at her waist. Her long legs were semi-hidden by a sheer cream-colored skirt with a lacy golden overlay that reached the floor, topped with a plain white t-shirt that hugged her lean torso. His eyes lingered on the area around her thighs and he spotted a pair of pale blue shorts, keeping the skirt from becoming scandalous.

It was how he always imagined she’d look if he ever saw her again. Same ethereal beauty of a fairy come to life, but now in a woman’s body.

The octopus tattoo on Kip’s arm burned slightly like it did the day he’d gotten it. He brushed a hand over it, trying to dismiss the feeling. It was only in his head and he knew that.

“Let me show you all we offer here at Soaring Bird.” He flashed her a smile and offered his arm as if they were now in a Jane Austen novel.

Tessa took it, her fingers wrapping gently around his inner elbow. Spencer fell in behind them, chuckling under her breath.

Kip used his free hand to point out the different sections of the store. “Over to the east you’ll see our state of the art snow display. It is by far our largest section of the store.” Two mannequins were poised in mid-air and suspended by thin wire from the ceiling to replicate some of Shane and Lenny’s (the owners/founders) most famous moves on the course.

The “mountain” they were racing down had been built by professionals to look like the real thing somehow tucked into a warehouse in Huntington Beach. It reached 25 feet, nearly touching the ceiling. The open design of the warehouse allowed for the second-floor metal walkway to wrap around it partially so patrons could get a close-up look at the design.

Surrounding the display on the floor were racks of differing clothes and outdoor gear. They only kept sample sizes on the floor to leave as much room as possible. Shane was a fan of open space and he didn’t like the cluttered look of many other shops. But they had nearly everything on hand in the back. All a customer had to do was ask and someone would gladly get it for them.

“Everything you could ever need from socks, to hats, to a good wax, we can take care of all your snow sports needs.”

Kip glanced to his right to catch Tessa’s eye. “Do you snowboard?”

“Uh,” she stammered and cleared her throat. “No. Not currently.”

“It’s on the list,” Spencer supplied from just behind his left shoulder. Kip turned an ear that way and waited for more information.

None came so he asked.

“What list?”

He glanced back and forth between the two women and realized they were having a conversation with their eyes behind his back. He dropped his arm so Tessa had to let go and turned to face them both, looping one arm around the neck of a male mannequin in a beanie, snow goggles, and complete snowsuit.

“What list?” he asked again.

Tessa pressed her lips together before running her tongue over her top teeth.

“Oh, just tell the man,” Spencer said with an amused chuckle in her voice. “It’s why we’re here, isn’t it?”

Kip tilted his head to the side as he watched Tessa’s reaction. She averted her gaze and a blush crept along the sides of her neck.

Interesting.

Maybe she hadn’t stopped in to see him like he’d originally thought.

Maybe she was just there for product.

Which… okay. That was cool too. He’d appreciate the sale (they all would), but a pebble of disappointment dropped in his stomach and echoed when it hit bottom.

Tessa crossed her arms over her middle and rolled her eyes at herself. “It’s stupid, but I have this list of things.” Her arresting blue eyes connected with his and suddenly he didn’t care why she’d come into the shop.

“What kind of list?” he prompted when she didn’t continue right away.

“It’s a list of things I’ve never done but would like to try at least once.” Her eyes flicked up to the ceiling and back to him. “Hot yoga was the last thing on the list.”

He felt a smirk grow in his face and he leaned toward her, bringing the mannequin with him. “And what’s the purpose of this list, Peaches?”

Her lips twitched with the nickname he’d given her and her eyes sparkled as if they were full of secrets.

Secrets made of magic and mystery.

The pause between them stretched and became palpable. Kip waited. He was used to waiting.

“I’m going to go arm wrestle Steve for a deal on a new rash guard,” Spencer muttered and backed away.

Tessa flicked a gaze to the side. “My life is in a rut.” She scratched the side of her neck, not looking him in the eye. “I don’t want a boring life. I want…” She took a deep breath and sighed. “I want adventure and romance and danger and…why would any of those things want me?”

Kip straightened his shoulders at her question.

“So,” she went on with a forced smile. “I made a list of things I’ve never done. In order to become someone…and encounter the things I want more of in my life.”

She blew out a shaky breath like her confession had taken a lot out of her.

Kip stared at her, stunned by her honesty and conviction.

And he decided right then and there he was going to do everything in his power to make those things come true for her.

“So, what’s next on the list?” he asked, his voice lower than he intended.

“You’re just gonna laugh,” she said with an eyeroll.

“Try me.”

“Longboarding.”

Kip grinned and stepped away from the mannequin.

“As it so happens, we are having an amazing deal on decks this week.” He started walking backwards toward the longboard section. “Let’s see if we can find what you need to get you started.”

“I suppose you do,” she wiggled her fingers in front of her, “all the things.”

He tried not to laugh. “Uh, kind of. I do some of the things.”

“Do you really like hot yoga?” she asked suspiciously.

Again, Kip struggled with wanting to laugh as the image of her in class yesterday came to mind. “I do enjoy hot yoga,” he answered honestly. “I can see why it might not be for some people.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “But you make it look way more difficult than it is.”

She was unamused. “Thanks,” she replied flatly.

He barked a laugh as he navigated their way through bikinis, a sunglass rack, and rock-climbing gear before coming to a stop at their destination.

He explained the different lengths and the benefits of each deck and walked through what a beginner should expect.

Tessa listened intently, chewing on her bottom lip.

He waited for a few minutes in silence as she studied the equipment in front of them.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, watching her closely.

“Just wondering if I’m going to suck at this as much as the yoga.”

Kip pinched his chin with his thumb and forefinger as he nodded. “You know, you only tried the hot yoga. There are different kinds. It may be that you just jumped into the deep end before you were ready.”

She glanced his way and he could see the conflict evident in her expression.

That’s why she’d come here for her next task. Because he had been the one to see her fail on the last one, and she was looking for him to be honest about her next endeavor.

“Tessa,” he said seriously. “I can teach you.”

“Teach me what? Exactly?” she asked slowly.

“Longboarding. It’s how I get around. I’ve been doing it for years.”

She angled her body to face him. “You would do that?”

He mirrored her posture, including her slight head tilt. When her eyes dropped to the octopus tattoo, he crossed his arms to block most of it. “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.”

A muscle in her cheek jumped. “The likelihood of falling on you is high. As is the threat of physical injury.”

He grinned. “I accept the risk.”

“Hey,” Spencer interrupted casually, a brown paper bag containing her purchase dangling from her fingertips. “You ready to get some lunch now? I’m starving.”

“Oh,” Tessa’s eyes bounced between Kip and her friend. “I haven’t decided what to get yet.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kip interjected. “I’ll open an account for you and pick out what I think you need to start.”

“Is that okay?” she asked suspiciously.

“Oh yeah, we do it all the time,” he assured. Plus, he noticed what was likely the reason for Spencer’s desire to bounce. Bo Samson had just arrived and was talking to Steve near the front door.

Bo and Spencer had a history.

No, that wasn’t quite right. History implied something normal. What Bo and Spencer had was more like a living vendetta. It was bigger than both of them and often ruined holidays, birthdays, picnics, parades, elections—you name it. If they were within 100 feet of each other, something would be ruined.

It had been happening since they’d first laid eyes on each other in grade school.

Their friends had long learned just to keep them separated.

Though with Spencer’s best friend Lo dating Bo’s brother Brady, that was going to be harder to do.

“Thanks, Kip,” Tessa said softly, catching his attention again.

He took a step closer to her as he inhaled her floral scent. “Don’t mention it, Peaches.”

 

***

 

TESSA

 

Spencer, clearly frantic, hooked her arm through Tessa’s and tugged her toward the exit. She steered them so Tessa was the buffer between her and Bo.

It was juvenile bordering on childish, and Tessa rolled her eyes.

“Really?” she asked her friend. “When are you two going to get over it?”

“Tessa,” Bo greeted with a chin lift. His eyes skated over Spencer and his jaw hardened, but he didn’t say anything.

Tessa lifted a hand and waved in general at Steve and Bo before Spencer hustled them out the door.

They were halfway down the block before Spencer finally slowed to a normal pace.

“So, that’s still a thing, huh?” Tessa asked, giving the blonde the side-eye.

Bo Samson and Spencer Clementine had hated the sight of one another since the day they’d met in grade school. Making it a decades long feud.

A feud none of their mutual friends understood but were more than aware of.

They couldn’t be in the same room without some kind of catastrophe. It was as if the mere sight of the other caused demonic possession.

Homecoming their Senior year in high school, the gymnasium burned down.

Burned. Down.

To the ground.

No one had been injured, thank God. But neither party would take responsibility and Bo and Spencer had both been court-ordered to help rebuild the gym. They had to work opposite shifts, obviously.

After that, they tried to avoid each other as much as possible. Neither one wanted to end up in jail. Thankfully that had been enough motivation for them to stop deliberately pushing their mutual self-destruct buttons.

Though, as both of them approached their thirties, Tessa was hoping they could finally let the rivalry die.

Especially now that Lo was with Brady.

“I ran into him last night,” Spencer grumbled. “I just didn’t need a replay.”

Tessa frowned. “Last night? I thought you were in Santa Barbara last night.” Seeing as that’s where Garrett lived.

“Actually, I told you I was working last night,” Spencer corrected. “And that’s where I saw Bo. At the gym. He came in and asked for a tour.”

Spencer worked at a high-end fitness center where all the rich people and Instagram models worked out.

“And you were the manager on duty?” Tessa asked with wide eyes. That was ballsy, even for Bo.

“Yeah. So, sorry I had to cut our shopping trip short. I just wanted to get out of there.”

Tessa contemplated the new information. “Did he know you were working?”

“My car was in the lot.” Spencer shrugged.

“When he found out it was you, did he change his mind?”

“Nope.” Spencer sighed. “He doubled down. It was… annoying.”

Tessa could kind of relate. She had an archenemy at work too. Well, sort of. But she couldn’t just go around telling people off when they irritated her. She’d get fired. And then how would she buy wine?

Throat Punch Thursday was only something she did in fantasy.

“It’s not as bad as it used to be,” Spencer continued unexpectedly. She ran a hand through her long hair and sighed. “We talked, you know, that night. When Brady and Lo decided to partner up.”

They reached the small café down the street and Spencer tugged the door open. They took a hard left and claimed a booth by the front windows. It was a favorite spot of theirs because they could see the beach traffic and the ocean in the distance.

Spencer Clementine was the closest thing to a water nymph Tessa had ever met. Sometimes she was amazed the woman lived on shore. She half-expected her to revert to mermaid form and return to her underwater kingdom when the sun went down.

But that was the way for a lot of the people born and raised in Huntington Beach. All of Tessa’s friends had this indescribable connection to the sea. It was as if it was part of their DNA.

And Tessa?

She envied them.

Perhaps that was why she was on this quest of hers with the list. Maybe she’d find something that would connect her.

To what, she didn’t now.

Just…something more.

“Maybe talking to you at work is his version of burying the hatchet,” Tessa guessed folding her hands on the table before her.

Spencer sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down.

The server—Valerie according to her nametag—showed up with water and took their orders.

Tessa liked this café because of the casual atmosphere combined with the French styled food. It was an interesting blend and helped to quell her urge to up and leave this small seaside tourist trap.

Oops. There came the bitter again.

It wasn’t the town she wanted to leave. Or the community that bothered her.

It was her.

She… wanted.

“What are you thinking about?” Spencer asked, eyeing her thoughtfully.

Tessa shrugged and tore at the paper of her straw wrapper. “How fast things can change.”

Spencer nodded and blinked slowly, the blue in her eyes flickering in the sunlight. “Lo and Brady?”

“Yeah.” Tessa looked towards the sunbathers and surfers in the distance. “I keep trying to put myself in the way of something. But it’s starting to feel more like instead of getting swept up, I’m getting swept to the side.”

If that even made sense.

“Getting swept away isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” Spencer muttered.

Tessa turned her attention back to her friend. “Maybe that’s true. But I want it anyway.”

Spencer grinned despite her otherwise snarky disposition. “God, I wish I was as wholly unspoiled as you are.”

Tessa’s face heated with the compliment. “I know a few people who’d disagree with that assessment, but thank you anyway.”

Spencer shook her head slowly, her grin fading to a smile. “The world has never deserved your optimism. Someday you’ll get everything you deserve and leave the rest of us to live our life of peasantry.”

Tessa’s laugh burst out of her in a loud eruption. She wiped the corner of her eye. “You’re ridiculous.”

“No, babe,” Spencer corrected. “You’re the greatest human being I’ve ever known. We’re all blessed to live in your sunshine.”

Valerie appeared with their food and Tessa moved her shredded straw wrapper out of the way.

“Your opinion of me has always been colored by my ability to cover for your vindictive ass with Bo and the authorities on too many times to count.”

Spencer choked on her food and laughed as she covered her mouth with a napkin. “That might be true,” she agreed, reaching for her water. She took a long drink and set the glass down again. “Well, hopefully those days are behind us now.”

“You really think you and Bo can live in peace?” Tessa asked.

Spencer lifted one shoulder in a shrug as she took another bite.

It wasn’t the most reassuring answer.

“Do you think you’ll break Kip’s will to live before he teaches you how to longboard?” Spencer countered.

Tessa had already filled Spencer in on the hot yoga catastrophe. They had a good laugh about it. But Tessa had neglected to tell Spencer about her drunken video chat.

She wasn’t sure why she’d kept that a secret. It wasn’t like her. She was an over-sharer from way back.

She opened her mouth, prepared to tell Spencer right then, but she stopped.

Instead she said, “Will you be home tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” Spencer covered her full mouth as she spoke. “I’ll come with you to get your gear tomorrow. Make sure they give you a good deal.”

Tessa smiled down at her plate. “I’m not worried about that. I’m sure Kip will be more than fair.”

“He’s probably afraid you’ll accidentally knock him out.” Spencer chuckled.

Tessa only smiled.

She didn’t know Kip well enough to guess his intentions or why he’d been nothing but kind to her.

But she trusted him completely on instinct.

As if she always had.

 

***

 

KIP

 

Kip stared up at the moonless sky. The waves nearby crashed and churned, mimicking the rise and fall of his thoughts.

After Tessa had left that day he’d picked out a deck for her. He’d gotten everything she’d need. Including a snapback hat that said, “Be the arrow” stitched on the front in gold thread.

He was already too invested in her. He could feel it.

But that was consistent with his character. He felt too much, saw too much, wanted too much. There was no way to know if that’s who he would have been, or if it was just who he became because of… everything.

His therapist was going to do backflips at his appointment this week. Tessa falling into his life was one of those things that couldn’t get ignored.

He’d missed his shot with her once before. And for years he’d believed it was because she just wasn’t meant to be in his life. Dr. Harris would tell him that relying on “the fates” for his happiness was living passively.

Which was why he’d offered to teach Tessa to longboard.

Because it was living deliberately. Which was what he wanted to be doing. But it wasn’t until she’d told him about her list and the reasons behind it that he felt that uncomfortable push on his insides to take action.

In high school, Tessa was the girl for him. She was gorgeous and mysterious and had the kind of laugh that would stop him in his tracks.

She was the reason he had begun writing those little eruptions of poetry. A habit that had continued until it was now its own persona. Another part of his life he kept to himself.

But he’d written to her in secret because he never felt ready to approach her in real life. And then high school was over. And she’d become just another regret.

Until she’d literally knocked him off his feet a few days ago.

He hadn’t been looking for her.

And even when he was sure he knew who she was, and he thought his brain might explode with the excitement of it all, he’d chased her. Right out into the parking lot, making sure to do a proper introduction.

Something he thought he’d missed out on.

Maybe…maybe the stars could be rewritten.

Maybe second chances were actually better.

Maybe it was nothing and his youthful infatuation would finally fade away.

The screen of his phone lit up the dark from its resting place on his stomach and he paused before holding it up.

She was video calling him again.

He took a second to stare at her profile picture.

If it were Clarke or Greta calling him, he’d never hesitate answering.

But Tessa’s smile had always caused him pause.

He took a breath and answered.

“Hey!” she greeted when the screen cleared. Followed by a head tilt and soft frown. “Are you sleeping?”

Kip huffed a small laugh. “No, just stargazing.” He moved the phone so she could see the shop up the beach behind him.

“Is this part of your nightly routine?” she asked.

He shrugged, the sand beneath him scratching his shoulders. “I have you all set up with equipment. You can pick it up whenever you want.”

“Thanks,” she replied softly. “You didn’t have to go to all that trouble.”

“It was no trouble at all, Peaches.” He ran his free hand through his hair and the tangled curls tugged when he hit a few knots.

They stared at one another for a beat, neither one speaking.

“You should be here,” Kip muttered.

“What?” she asked, frowning.

“I was thinking about your list,” he said instead of repeating himself. “Maybe I should make one of those.”

She snorted a laugh. “What kind of things would go on your list? Be more awesome …check.”

He bit his bottom lip to keep from smiling too big.

“You haven’t cornered the market on setting goals, you know,” he teased.

“Okay, okay,” she relented. “What would you put on your list?”

“I want to visit every National Park.”

Her eyes rounded and her lips parted. “That’s…ambitious.”

“I’ve never been to one,” he confessed.

She flopped backwards onto what looked like a pile of pillows. “Aren’t there several hundred national parks?” she asked.

“Four hundred and some,” he replied.

“Holy crap,” she hissed. “That’s more than my entire list! What else would you put on there?”

His lips twitched. He’d been thinking about it since she’d left that day and had even begun jotting down the first ideas that came to him.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

She ignored his subtle double entendre and her eyes wandered off screen. “I’ll have to think about that.”

He understood because there were things on his own list that said more about him than he was ready to admit to even his closest friends.

“Well,” she said slowly, as if working it out in her head while she spoke. “Since you’ve offered to teach me to longboard, it would be considerate of me to offer one of my talents.”

“And what talent would that be?” He narrowed his eyes and tried to think of something linked to national parks that she might know. “Bear tamer?”

“Ha, no,” she replied and scratched the side of her neck. “The pleasure of my company. Traveling alone isn’t safe and I have loads of vacation time saved up.”

Her voice trembled and he recognized the anxiety in her offer. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to offer something like that without breaking into a full body sweat.

Actually, his scalp felt damp.

“Road trip?” he asked carefully.

“Or not, you know, whatever,” she attempted to brush it off.

“Uh,” he stuttered, thinking about all the reasons he couldn’t just say yes. “I just got this promotion at work and I’m not sure how Clarke would react to my asking for time off already.” He smiled to lighten his words.

“Yeah, you know what? It was stupid for me to even suggest something like that. I mean we barely know each other, right?” Her words came out rushed and Kip tried to jump in but couldn’t. “Sorry,” Tessa said with a shake of her head. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Probably just overly tired.”

“Tessa—”

“I should get going, I have to do some laundry and the dishes and—”

“Tessa,” Kip said more firmly this time.

She stopped and closed her eyes for a second. “Kip, please. Just let me pretend to save face, okay?”

He hated seeing her in any kind of distress. It tore at him. But trying to explain to her everything happening in his thoughts would just freak her out.

“Okay,” he said quietly.

“Okay,” she repeated and took a deep breath. “I’ll see you later?”

“Count on it,” he answered.

She forced a smile before disconnecting.

Kip rested his phone on chest and stared up at the stars. Well, that didn’t go as he would’ve liked.

A road trip with Tessa sounded like an actual dream come true. Right up there with having a clean bill of health or creating world peace.

His rejection had nothing to do with her and had everything to do with how he had spent the last decade living.

By denying himself what he wanted and rationalizing why.

He picked up his phone again and opened his Twitter app where he quickly typed out what he was thinking and posted it.

Then he turned the phone off.

my fear is a second head

taking

making

faking

you’re my tide

pull me in

and in

and in

and I’ll stay