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It wasn’t long before I couldn’t sleep.
I blamed Cheryl and her stupid quest inside the teenage mind, but there were other complications.
While my dreams of Orpheus and his team of monsters had disappeared, mysteriously (because miraculously was never going to be in my vocabulary), I kept dreaming of Mikey and Gwen, and losing. Losing what, or who, I didn’t really know, and that was the worst part. Well, the second to worst part. The worst part was I didn’t know if paranoia had caused my insomnia or if it was the other way around. The bright side was I was at Rachel’s a lot more for her coffee.
“Back again, Hamilton? Wasn’t one trip this morning enough for you?” Rachel asked me as she handed me my order. “I mean no offense, and I like you as much as friend as a customer. But are you feeling all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I assured her as best as I could.
She frowned. “What’s wrong? Are you stressed about school or something? I know my cousin’s not your favorite person in the world, but she’s been out for the last couple of days. Surely she’s not that much trouble for you.”
“No.” I grimaced.
“Is it something else?”
“Nothing much,” I lied again. “Cheryl’s just trying to get me to help her with some of her casework. It’s just so ... engrossing.”
“Oh, I see. Well, that’s good, I guess.” Rachel smiled. “You like it?”
“Not really.”
“Oh.”
“It’s hard with all the schoolwork and everything.” For some reason, it was just getting easier to keep lying. “I’ll get used to it soon.”
“If that’s what you want, I guess,” Rachel agreed. She gave me a small smile. “I’ll get some extra cookies for you.”
“You’re the best,” I saluted her with my near-empty cup. At last, I thought. A non-lie.
“Is Gwen coming in today?” she asked as she pulled down her personal cookie jar.
“I texted her earlier. She said she had stay late at school today.”
A scoffing noise came out from behind me as the entrance door closed. “Well, she’s not at school anymore.”
I turned to see Raiya, coming in from the cold weather, her old art box with her. I refrained from making some kind of remark on where she’d been all week to look down my nose at her. “What would you know about it?” I asked with an indignant huff. “I just got the text about an hour ago.”
“Well, I just saw her at the hospital an hour ago,” Raiya told me. “So there’s that.”
“What?” Surely she was mistaken. I mean, Gwen had wanted to go to the hospital, and she’d even asked me if I wanted to go with her, but I’d told her flat-out no. I didn’t need to be surrounded by all the people in the stuffed quarantine for the “sleeping sickness,” nor did I want to visit all the people who had been attacked or injured in some manner by demon activity.
Talk about torture, seeing all the people I’d failed.
“What were you doing at the hospital?” I asked, turning the conversation on her. “Is that where you’ve been all week?”
“Missed me, have you?” Raiya ducked under the coffee bar and started dishing out ground espresso. She shrugged and pulled the hat off her head, shaking her golden brown hair loose.
She turned around, plopping the hat down next to me. “I just went to visit Mrs. Smithe. She says hello.”
I blinked in surprise, as if what she’d just said didn’t make any sense. “Martha’s awake?”
“Yeah. She’s doing well, too. Better than expected, actually.” Raiya’s mouth quirked at the one side. “She even asked me if I was keeping you in line.”
I didn’t respond to that. I felt a surge of relief. Martha’s okay.
My moment of celebration was short-lived as I recalled Martha’s recovery was only one of the near hundred people needed yet.
“Don’t get too excited,” Raiya told me. “She won’t be back for a few weeks yet. Or at least, that’s what her doctor told her. I doubt he’ll be able to keep her on bed rest.” She glanced up at me with shadowed eyes. “She asked me to let you know she’d like it if you came to visit with me next time. Apparently, she thinks our arguments are ‘endearing.’”
“I’ll head over there by myself, thank you very much,” I snapped. “In fact, I think I’ll go over there now.” I began to pack up my things and toss out my trash when she spoke again.
“You’re not just going over there to see Gwen, are you?”
“What?” I’d actually forgotten about Gwen. I was too focused on Martha to worry about her. But now that I’d been reminded, I supposed it wouldn’t hurt to catch up with Gwen while I was there. I furrowed my brow. “That’s none of your business.”
Raiya shrugged and picked up her cup on her way out to the kitchen.
I hurriedly paid my bill and was about to head out when I glanced back at the kitchen door. I suppose I should’ve been nicer to Raiya, I thought. Since she’d let me know about Martha and all.
A moment passed, and with no sign of Raiya’s return (not that I was going to apologize or anything anyway), I set out for the hospital.
*☼*
As a rule, I hate hospitals. When the meteor struck Apollo City a few months ago, nothing about my short stay in the hospital had changed my mind about that.
In fact, I am pretty sure it made it worse. What especially made my trip to the hospital even worse than worse this time was seeing Gwen there.
I saw her almost instantly on my way to Martha’s room. The hospital, pitifully small as it was, had needed to shove nearly all the sleeping, now-soulless people in one large connecting room, like some kind of deathlike delivery ward. My fists clenched together so hard I could feel my fingernails peeling into my skin as I passed by. There were just so many people there. It was hard for me to process.
Several moments passed as I saw Gwen just standing at Tim’s bedside. He was still unconscious, hooked up to a bunch of devices. There were wires and tubes and all sorts of things surrounding his body. From where I was standing, I could tell Gwen had a worried look on her face.
Painstakingly, I uncurled my fingers and shoved them through my hair. I didn’t know what to do. I’d have to deal with it later.
Checking the charts, I found Martha’s room a few floors up.
She wasn’t, like Tim, suspected of having her soul stolen, and I had a feeling since she’d been teaching forever, at least one of her former students had recognized her and gotten her a private room.
I think I got there in time to save a nurse from being hospitalized.
“Get that IV away from me,” Martha barked from her bed. “I feel fine, I am fine, and I don’t need the IV.”
“You have only been feeling this well since yesterday,” the nurse reminded her, “And that is not enough time for the doctors to agree with you.”
Martha rolled her eyes. “Where’s my copy of Time? I need my magazines if I am going to be stuck here forever.”
I chuckled as I came in the door. “You must be feeling better,” I said. “Especially if you’re ordering other people around.”
“Dinger,” Martha raised her eyebrows in surprise. “I was wondering if you’d come to visit. Your father was in here earlier saying he thought you’d come around.”
“I ran into Raiya and she told me you were here.”
“I see you’re nice and chipper today, despite that.”
“It’s not every day I get to see you at the mercy of a helpless nurse,” I replied, causing the nurse to huff indignantly.
Martha laughed. “Leave us to talk,” she instructed the nurse. “And go get my magazine. I need to hear the latest on that new bill going down in Washington from a reliable source. The View is not a reliable source.”
“How are you feeling, Martha?” I asked as the nurse brushed impolitely past me.
“It’s Mrs. Smithe until you graduate, Dinger,” Martha replied. “But I am fine. I have been feeling much better lately. They thought I was going to die when I first came in, did you know? And then everything turned all around in less than a night.”
“So I guess that makes you a miracle patient,” I said kindly.
Martha chuckled. “From the rational Hamilton Dinger, I get the word ‘miracle’ attached to my name? I must be dead. I thought you didn’t believe in that stuff, Dinger.”
“I ... I’ve begun to change my mind about a few things.”
Martha smiled. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”
I looked up at her, slightly surprised. “Why?”
She smiled. “You can’t go through your life expecting to know everything or understand everything, Dinger. And I didn’t want to see you become a cynical, bitter, and continually frustrated grown up.”
I thought about it for a moment and acquiesced, “I guess no one would want that kind of person for president one day.”
Martha softened. “Dinger, listen to me. Life will get you down. There is no denying it—look at me, for example. But the important thing is to keep going. Keep going on. Your challenges will make you a better person—not just in politics, but in real life.”
“Is that why you don’t move Raiya from behind me?” I asked, half-jokingly.
“Yes and no. Yes, because it is good to see someone question you—a lot of other students seem too afraid to—and no, because it’s convenient to keep everyone else where they are.”
“I suspected as much.” I nodded, chuckling a bit.
Mrs. Smith’s eyes gleamed. “It’s so boring here. I was rather hoping you’d come with Raiya. You guys have some good arguments.” She shrugged. “If nothing else, I would’ve thought you’d come with Gwen, since you’re dating her now, aren’t you?”
“Something like that.”
“What?” Martha rolled her eyes. “Oh, never mind. I’ll never understand you kids and your slang.” A moment passed before she sighed. “I always hate being in hospitals. I thought for sure I would die in one. This is the same hospital where my son and husband died all those years ago.”
“Died?” That was a bit surprising to hear.
“Yes. You remind me a lot of my son. His name was Michael. He and Scott, my husband, died almost sixteen years ago. He would be thirty-two this year, if he had lived.”
Martha’s eyes went glassy. “The people you love are the hardest to say good-bye to.”
I said nothing. There are some times in life when you can’t say anything, and there are times when you shouldn’t say anything. Although I was thinking of asking if she’d been put on Prozac this week.
Finally, after a long moment, Martha spoke up, thankfully on a different subject. “Thank you for coming to see me today. It’s been so nice to see so many of my students.”
“I’m sorry you’re in here,” I told her. “The movies in class are a poor substitute ... and . . .” I hesitated briefly before adding, “I’m sorry you are in here in the first place. You know what happened, right?”
Martha nodded. “I know.”
“I feel like it’s my fault,” I told her quietly.
“It’s not your fault, Dinger,” Martha assured me. It was weak assurance at best. She didn’t know the whole story, I knew, and I also knew there was no way I was going to tell her.
Mrs. Smithe continued. “Everything happens for a reason, Dinger. True, bad things happen, but sometimes it ends up helping us even though it hurt us. Your life is not about you; it’s about something greater. Think about how you can help others if the attacks around town are bothering you.”
It was there that she lost me. I didn’t know what she meant at the time, and it would be years later before I would understand. Or even have an idea of what “something greater” could possibly be.
We talked for a while. She laughed the most when I told her about Cheryl’s plan to sue Wingdinger and Starry Knight.
“What’s so funny about it?” I asked, almost insulted, even though Martha didn’t know I would be the one facing my mother’s condemnation in court.
“Nothing. I doubt she’ll get away with it. Even the great Cheryl Thomas-Dinger has a bad case every now and then, and this one sounds like a doozy.”
“You don’t think Starry Knight and Wingdinger would get called up on charges?” I asked.
“No. From what I’ve been able to tell, they’ve mostly been doing defensive work,” Martha told me. “And it seems like they are the only ones really capable of handling the monsters. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I saw the report about the swim meet,” Martha said, figuring I would ask about it. “But they only led the creature away in chains. I wonder what they did with him, anyway? They didn’t say much about it.”
That was a good question, I thought. I hadn’t heard anything about where they might’ve taken Mikey, either. But then, I was more worried about other things of late, I admitted to myself.
“I’ll say this, Dinger. It seems the media needs a scapegoat, and good people—or fighters, I guess in this case—are more easily persuaded to dance to the media’s tune on topics like these. To be honest, it sounds more like the mayor is bringing up charges against Starry Knight and Wingdinger to get his approval rating up more than anything. I mean, people want results, and enough where they got the last mayor to resign.”
“What do you think is the worst thing that could happen to the superheroes?” I asked. My fingers gripped onto the armrest of my chair as I waited, breathlessly, for her answer.
“Oh, the media would have a field day,” Martha snorted disdainfully. “But despite your mother’s best argumentation, the truth is that ‘supernatural disasters’ aren’t accounted for in the law. We are left with the results, but I’d bet anything the worst would be a plea bargain, and that would be just to get their case heard before the judge, and it would be a technical loss to them, but a meaningless win to the city.”
“Really?” I asked. That didn’t sound as bad as Cheryl’s intentions. But then, I thought, this was my mother we were talking about. Anything less than ultimate humiliation was hard to excite her.
“Dinger, you’re talking to a fifty-plus year old lady with her law degree in addition to her teaching certificate. I know what I’m talking about.” Her eyes slipped over the brim of her glasses, giving her that condescending know-it-all look, and if it wouldn’t have prompted too many questions, I would’ve thrown my arms around her and squeezed her.
Instead, I cleared my throat and said, “Well, that’s good for them, I suppose.”
We sat for a few moments in silence as I realized I’d been so afraid, so uncertain before, about being implicated as Wingdinger, that I’d barely noticed I’d given up more peace in giving up than I’d had in keeping up the fight. I traced the non-existent outline of the Prince’s Emblem on my wrist. Was it possible ... ?
My voice sounded hollow as I stood up. “I have to go. I have some work to do.”
“All right. You just keep doing your best, Dinger,” Martha said. “I have faith you’ll commit to doing the right thing when it comes down to it.”
My heart sank to the bottom of my foot as guilt once more weighed down on me. What if it was too late?
“I think I need a bit of a nap, anyway.” Martha yawned. “Thanks for coming to see me again. It’s always nice talking with you.”
“You know I need you to be my campaign manager one day,” I replied jokingly. “I’ll see you next Monday then?”
“Oh, yeah. I can’t take off any more days. Once you’re a teacher, you feel guilty for missing school. It’s no longer fun to play hooky.”
“See you later then.” I waved and walked out the door, shutting it behind me.
I walked down towards the waiting room, still unsure of what to do, if anything, about anything. There was a window, and I noticed there were some stars twinkling back at me. It wasn’t late out, but it was dark.
I remembered the day Elysian absconded me and flew me up high above the world to the point where I’d had trouble breathing. I thought about the kingdom of stars, how there was a prince up there I couldn’t name, and I’d been called to defend the earth ... and how I’d rejected it for a life of personal peace, pleasure, and affluence.
There’s something out there much bigger than myself, I thought. And then I began to get angry. Angry with myself, this prince person I didn’t even know, and Elysian and Starry Knight ... . I guess “bigger” didn’t mean “easier.” But then, maybe it didn’t have to mean “harder,” either.
“I don’t know what to do,” I muttered, talking to myself. “I don’t know why. I don’t know how. I need help, and I need you to help me out with this. I don’t want to take a leap of faith. But I don’t want to stay on the ground anymore.”
The stars just twinkled at me in response. I sighed. It had to be a choice, I suppose, not a sure thing, in order to count.
“Who are you talking to?”
I jumped, turning around. “Oh, hey Gwen.” I hadn’t been expecting to see her. “I’m just talking to myself, that’s all.”
Gwen smiled back. “Oh, I see. Here I thought you were making a wish on a star or something like that.”
“I don’t watch Disney movies anymore,” I scoffed.
Gwen shrugged. “Your loss,” she said with a small giggle. She then hesitated. “How did you know I was here?”
“I just came here to see Martha.” I didn’t really need to tell her the truth after she’d lied to me, I figured.
“Oh.” She scooched back a bit. “Are you angry with me for being here?”
“No.”
“You’re lying. Do you just not trust me?”
“No. I mean—” I stopped talking. I hadn’t meant to say that. How could I explain I was angry at something that wasn’t supposed to exist?
“Are you jealous of Tim?”
I groaned. “Gwen, I’m not angry at you. I’m confused more than anything, if you want the truth. I know a couple of the other students here are your friends. I think it’s okay you want to come see them.” I mean, that was reasonable. “I know you like Tim, so I am just frustrated over why you even want to go out with me.” Other than the fact she couldn’t go out with Tim.
Gwen stilled. “I thought you liked me, and I wanted to give you a chance.”
“Okay,” I said. Not really sure how to handle that.
She frowned. “What do you want from me, Hamilton?”
“I want to be able to trust you, for one thing.” That lashed out a bit too harshly, and I knew it immediately. “Sorry.” I shrugged and scratched my head. What did I want from her? “I guess I just want you to decide what you want and commit to it. I mean, I don’t want to waste my time any more than you want to waste yours.”
As soon as I said it, Starry Knight conjured up in my mind. Was that why I was her greatest weakness? She hadn’t been able to trust me? Well, she was smart not to, I guess, I thought as I recalled how I’d quit and gotten rid of the mark.
“Well, for the record,” Gwen remarked quietly, bringing me back to the present, “I don’t consider time with you a ‘waste,’ boyfriend or not. We’ve been friends for a while now.”
“Sorry.” I shook my head. “I’ve got some other things on my mind tonight, Gwen. I can’t process this right now. So just let me know, okay? I frankly hate hospitals and I’m pretty sure that’s why I can’t really think about this right now.” I lie so easily, I realized.
“Okay.” Gwen nodded. She gave me a small smile. “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”
“Sure. I’m going to head home—”
A blaring alarm interrupted me. I could barely register the announcements over the PA system as nurses and aides of all kinds were suddenly running down the hall to the quarantine ward.
“Wonder what’s going on?” Gwen asked, just a bit of fear creeping into her tone.
I didn’t need a supernatural warning to know nothing good was happening. But I knew for sure when the sky darkened to a bloody color, the stars were swallowed up by shadows, and the air carried the malevolent laughter of an all-too familiar figure.
Eris had come out of hiding at last.
☼19☼