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Mother and daughter come home to find David and his boy LaQuan tearing up the vestibule with the Christmas tree the grandmother had hand-picked.
The young men were struggling and cursing. They moved the tree aside so Patricia and Verdie can get into the house.
“They are having fun, aren’t they,” Verdie said to her mother.
“The fools helping Mary with the tree for baby Jesus didn’t curse this much, and it was cold and snowing outside back at the first tree rising.”
Verdie turned to the boys. “You guys need help?”
“Nah, not at all. We messing it up just fine by ourselves.”
“Good,” Patricia said, stepping out of the way.
“My Lord? Next time get the big one.”
“Oh, mother,” David said from outside. “The humor is so helpful.”
“Be careful, now.”
Patricia said, “May I suggest cutting the tree in half?”
“Funny. Tricia Chappelle over there. No, please don’t help us.”
“Okay, I won’t.”
LaQuan whined, “Dude, it’s too big.”
“That’s just what your girl told me. I’ma tell you the same thing I told her. It’ll fit.”
“Whatever.”
“It ain’t too big. You have to take your end up the steps and I’ll turn the bottom into the living room.”
“I can’t get a grip. You gonna have to push.”
David pushed it hard. The tree overwhelmed LaQuan and ran him over.
David laughed. “Sorry, pimpin’. My bad.”
LaQuan’s curses and bitching was muffled by the tree. Adam arrived behind LaQuan. He stepped in over them and the tree.
“Clef and Def. You two are doing an excellent job.”
“Thanks, congressman.” David said while showing his middle finger.
“Why didn’t you get the big one?”
“Ho larious,” David said from under the tree’s top. “You stealing your mother’s jokes.”
Adam found his mother on the sofa unboxing the ornaments.
He plants a soft kiss on Verdie’s forehead. “How can you get anything done with all the struggling and foul language, dear mother?”
“Faggot,” one of the boys yelled from the doorway.
“I heard that,” Verdie said. “That wasn’t nice.”
“It wasn’t me momma. I generally like those people.”
“David?”
They finally got it in while Adam walked by to the kitchen.
“Wait, hold up,” David told LaQuan. “All your hard breathing is fogging the foyer. “Where’s it going, ma?”
“Don’t act brand new. You know where it’s going. Where it goes every year.”
Ten minutes later they had the tree in its spot and in the stand.
They all stood in front of the tree.
“What do you think, David. It look straight to you?”
“It’s where you’re standing.”
“It look straight to me.”
“I am legally blind and I can see it’s as crooked as a dog’s hind legs.”
“Move it a little to the left.”
“Right there! Stop! There it goes.”
Grandmomma nodded. “The fools got it.”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s fine. I just don’t want to have another accident like 2001.”
“What happened in 2001?”
“You don’t remember? The tree fell over on Mr. Mason and his hair piece got stick in the branches.
LaQuan laughed. “Oh yes. He was salty for awhile. He don’t come no more, right.”
“Nope.”
Verdie, Patricia and the boys decorated the tree while Grandmomma drank spiked Egg Nog. They had a really good time, drinking wine and telling stories about past parties.
“Light her up!” Verdie said and David plugged in the lights and the tree illuminated in flying colors. Verdie stepped back and admired the sight.
“How it look?” David said.
“It’s beautiful.”
“That’s what your girl said!” LaQuan giggled.
No one else laughed.
“Damn,” Patricia said, “you stupid and inappropriate.”
“That’s what his girl said,” David added.
LaQuan just kept on laughing.