Birdie
“So I guess I’ll start at the beginning.” I looked at Olivia, whose eyes were wide as saucers. “Why do you look like you’re so apprehensive?” I chuckled.
“I’m just nervous to hear this story, Birdie. You’ve hyped it up so much, I’m just not sure what it’s going to be.”
“Oh, you know me. I’m so dramatic. It’s not that bad. I mean, it’s not like The Notebook crazy or one of those sad, angsty movies or books.”
“Okay, that’s good. Because you’ve got me nervous. You’ve been so apprehensive about telling me and the other girls. I guess I’m just worried that I’m going to feel really sad and really hate Hunter and want to kill him for you.”
“Oh, don’t worry. You’re going to want to kill him for me, but for other reasons,” I said with a laugh.
“So, I’m listening when you’re ready.”
“I guess I’ll start at the beginning. My mom and Hunter’s mom have been friends for a long time. They were in cotillion together when they were young.”
“Cotillion? Wow. So, they’re real southern ladies, huh?”
“Yeah. Both of them came from pretty well-to-do families and they were friends, kind of. I mean they weren’t best friends, but they knew each other. Anyway, Hunter and I ended up going to the same high school. We didn’t go to the same middle school or junior high, but we ended up in the same high school together.”
“So, did you know him before that?”
“I’d seen him around. And I can’t lie. I’d always thought he was kind of cute. But we hadn’t done more than sort of say hello, you know?”
“Sure. That makes sense.”
“So anyway, we’re in the same high school, and we’re actually in the same class.”
“Ooh, all the same classes?”
“No, we were in the same English class.” I smiled, thinking back to those days. “I can still remember the first time that we ever had a real conversation.”
“What was that about?”
“It wasn’t all that exciting. He just asked me if I’d read a play.”
“What play?”
“It was Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. We were reading it for class. I can still remember how it started. ‘If music be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, the appetite may suffer and so die. That strain again, oh it had a dying fall.’” I paused. “Sorry. I’m sure you didn’t need to hear that.”
“No, wow. That’s so cool.” Olivia looked at me in admiration. “You can recite Shakespeare off the top of your head. That’s awesome.”
“Did I ever tell you I was in drama class?”
“No, I didn’t know that.”
“I’m sure you could have guessed, though.” I gave her a wry grin. “I am a little bit dramatic.”
“Oh, you’re very dramatic, Birdie. There’s nothing little about it,” she laughed. “So, okay. You and Hunter talked about Shakespeare.”
“Yeah, he asked me if I’d finished reading it because he hadn’t finished and he hadn’t done any of the homework. He wanted to know if he could copy my answers in case he got called on by the teacher.”
“Typical high-school boy, huh?”
“Yeah. And me being the typical high-school girl, I gave him the answers,” I laughed. “It was kind of sweet. He was so grateful that he said he wanted to thank me properly. I said, ‘How?’ And he said he wanted to buy me a milkshake. That’s basically how it started.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet!”
“It actually was really sweet. Back then when we were freshmen, we were both sort of wet behind the ears. He was a handsome boy, but he wasn’t like a man, you know? And he wasn’t on the football team then, and he wasn’t built.” I paused. “He was just a sweet guy in those days.”
Olivia gave me a sweet, sad smile. “So that’s why you fell for him, huh?”
“Yeah. I mean, it all went pretty quickly. I mean for high school, of course it goes quickly. But that Friday we went to a burger place, and he bought us milkshakes and we shared fries and a burger. And then after that, we went to a movie. And then the next weekend, we went to the mall and walked around.” I laughed. “I can remember because my dad drove us and it felt so awkward, but it was so sweet, you know?”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Hunter held my hand in the backseat, and I can remember feeling like, ‘Wow, this is really cool and really sweet and really special.’ I mean, as teenage girls do. I didn’t really know what was going on, you know?”
“Of course. You were so young.”
“And then we sort of just started hanging out more and more. I can remember our first kiss. It was on Thanksgiving. I’d gone over to his parents’ place after having dinner with my own family, and I had sweet potato pie with him and his family.”
“Aw, that sounds sweet.”
“Yeah, it was kind of cool. He took me to the backyard. He had a really big swimming pool, and he asked me if I wanted to go swimming. I said, ‘No. I don’t even have my bathing suit.’ And he laughed and said, ‘Well, we can go skinny dipping.’ I was like, ‘Your parents are right there, Hunter.’ He said, ‘So?’ And I just pushed him slightly, shaking my head, and he grabbed me and he kissed me.” I let out a deep sigh. “It was the most perfect first kiss you could imagine.”
“Sounds wonderful,” Olivia said. “Sounds really romantic.”
“I mean, I know we were in high school, and I know we didn’t really know what we were doing, but it was special, you know?” I chewed on my lower lip, getting caught up in memories of Hunter’s and my relationship. It had been really sweet in the beginning. He’d been a really nice, genuine guy, and it’d been easy to fall for him.
“Hey, Birdie,” Olivia said softly.
“Yeah, sorry? Did I miss something?” I took another sip of my tequila sunrise to stop the feelings from rising up in me.
“No, but you looked like you were drifting away for a moment there.”
“Oh, I was just thinking about the past.” I sighed. “He was a good guy in the beginning.”
“They’re always good guys in the beginning,” Olivia said with a wry smile. “Well, some of them aren’t, but those are the ones you know to stay away from the beginning. It’s the ones that seem like they’re great in the beginning that are the worst ones in the end, you know?”
“Trust me, I know.”
“So, then what happened?” she prodded gently. “And if at any time you want to stop or you think I’m being too nosy, please just tell me you don’t want to talk about it anymore. I don’t want to make you feel bad.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about the beginning. It was just cool. Everyone knew we were a couple, and we would go to parties together. We tried to get as many classes together as possible. I joined the cheerleading squad and he joined the junior varsity football team. And it turned out he was actually really good at football and he was really fast. He moved up to varsity and was the second-string quarterback. And I wasn’t too shabby at cheerleading. We were like the perfect, all-American couple, cheerleader and football player, you know?” I shook my head. “At least, that’s what my mom liked to call us.”
“Sounds like your mom really liked him.”
“Our parents were both ecstatic that we were dating. I mean, we were both from ‘good families’, so everyone approved.” I laughed. “They always talk about young love when one person’s from the wrong side of the tracks and the families hate it. We didn’t have that problem at all. Both of our families were thrilled that we were dating. They wanted our relationship to work.” I took another sip from my drink. “But I guess you don’t always get what you want, do you?”
“Yeah, that’s very true,” Olivia nodded. “So, everything was going well and …?”
“You know, I lost my virginity to him, and it was the most amazing night.” I cringed slightly. “I sound absolutely ridiculous, don’t I? The first kiss was amazing. Our first night together was amazing. But it really was. It was so special. I guess no one can take that from me.”
“So what happened? What went wrong?”
“We went to college together and, of course, he was the star quarterback for the team in college and I was a cheerleader. I wasn’t the star of the cheerleading squad. But there’s something very different when you’re a football star in high school to when you’re a football star in college. All of a sudden, all these girls were after him and flirting with him, and …” I let out a deep sigh, “it made me a little crazy. Turns out I’m the jealous type.”
“Oh, no. I’m sorry, Birdie but I understand. That’s hard. Did he cheat on you?” she asked softly. “Is that what happened?”
“Not that I know of.” I shook my head. “I mean, maybe he emotionally cheated. I don’t think he physically cheated.”
“So what happened?” Olivia said.
“Well, there’s a thing with guys, especially teenage guys, college guys. When they get together, they all want to sort of show off with each other. They all want to be the alpha. When you’re on the football team, they all want to show that they’re the hottest and the fastest and the best, you know?”
“Trust me, I know.”
“And I guess he got caught up in that. I guess he wanted to be the big man on campus, and I was just sort of like his … plaything.”
“His plaything?”
“Yeah. I mean, he didn’t have as much time for me. He started becoming more and more distant, and he started treating me like shit. He wouldn’t show up for dates. He always had an excuse. And then …“ I paused. “Ugh,” I groaned out loud. “I need another drink if I’m going to continue.”
“Hold that thought, girl. Let me get us drinks. Another tequila sunrise?”
“That sounds good. Thank you.”
I watched as Olivia got up and walked over to the bar and stared down at the table. Talking about my past with Hunter was bringing up so many sad memories …but happy memories, too, surprisingly. I missed our time together. I missed the Hunter he’d been when we were in high school and at the beginning of college. I didn’t like the guy he’d grown into. I didn’t like the way he’d spoken to me, the way he treated me, the way he’d taken me for granted. I’d loved everything about our relationship.
But then, maybe I hadn’t been completely honest with myself, either.
A part of me had been happy to be dating the quarterback of the football team. It was kind of nice to be able to boast and to show off to other people. I guess that didn’t make me any better than him. I’d been his trophy girlfriend, the cute blonde from a good family, and he’d been my trophy boyfriend, the hot jock who came from money. Somewhere along the way, the innocence and pureness of our relationship had changed, and it became more about our status. Maybe it wasn’t all his fault. Maybe it had been me as well.
I pulled out my phone and started playing a game. I didn’t want to think about stupid Hunter anymore. I didn’t want to take the blame for the end of a relationship that had meant so much to me. I was not going to allow myself to feel sad. Yes, it had ended, but all relationships ended. Well, most relationships ended, anyway.
“I’m back.” Olivia handed me my new drink. “You look so sad,” she said. “Are you okay, girl?”
“I’m okay.” I nodded. “Sorry. I hate to be a Debbie Downer.”
“You’re not a Debbie Downer. I guess it’s just bringing up a lot of trauma?”
“You’re right. I guess I never really got over everything that happened.”
“So, what did happen, Birdie? How did it end?”
“So, in our senior year of college …”
“Yeah?”
“There was a big football game coming up. I think we were playing Alabama, and they were a huge rival of ours.”
“Okay.”
“Hunter had asked me to come to the locker room because he wanted to have a quickie before the game.”
“Ooh.” Olivia grinned. “That sounds like fun.”
“I can’t lie. Sex with him was amazing. And so I went to the locker room and we had a quickie. It was amazing, even though it was only 10 minutes, and I left. But I had left my bag in the locker room, so I went back to get it.”
“Oh, boy.” Olivia looked nervous. “I have a bad feeling.”
“Yeah. I walked into the locker room, and there was Hunter talking with all of his teammates.”
She leaned forward, breathless.
“He was telling them how we’d just fucked in the locker room and—” my voice caught as I took a deep breath. “And they were all high-fiving him and saying that he was the man, and basically saying that I was a slut and that he could do whatever he wanted to me. And he didn’t speak up for me.”
“Oh, no. Did they actually call you a slut?”
“I don’t know that they used that particular word, but one guy was like, ‘Damn, she’s easy. You can take her whenever and wherever you want.’ Hunter replied with ‘Yeah. All I need to do is pull my cock out and she’s bouncing up and down.’ Something like that.”
“Oh, wow.” Olivia’s jaw dropped. “I’m sorry. But you know boys will be boys.”
“I mean, yeah I know that but,” I paused, “it was more than that.”
“Uh oh. What was it?”
“One of the guys brought up this girl. Victoria Venice was her name.”
“Victoria Venice? That’s a cool name.”
“Yeah. She was gorgeous. I think she was Miss South Carolina or Miss Teen South Carolina at some point. But she was really beautiful, and she was interested in Hunter.”
“Why am I feeling apprehensive all of a sudden?”
“And one guy said, ‘So what’s going on with you and Victoria?’ And so of course, I stood there, listening. And Hunter said, ”I’m going to take her out this weekend, and then do what I think she wants.“
“What does that mean?” Olivia asked.
“I don’t know, but one of the guys asked him if he was going to bang her and what about me. And he said, ‘What Birdie doesn’t know won’t hurt her,’ and they all started laughing like it was funny.” I shook my head. “And it wasn’t funny. This was a guy I’d loved and really cared about, and that’s how he would talk about me with his friends?”
“Oh, shit. So, did he date this Victoria, then?”
“Well, this is the worst part.” I was starting to get emotional. “I’d had enough by then, so I spoke up, and I was like, ‘Hey, Hunter!’ really loudly and they all looked at me. I thought he would rush over to me and apologize. He was like, ‘What’s up?’ I was like, ‘I’ve been standing here. I left my purse.’ He was like, ‘Okay, where’s your purse? Let me get it.’ I wasn’t sure that he’d understood what I was saying, so I said, ‘I heard what you just said, Hunter. I just heard what you said about Victoria.’ He was like, ‘Yeah, and?’ I was like, ‘Whadda you mean yeah and? I’m your girlfriend. I thought I was special to you.’ And he just shrugged.”
I took a deep breath. “And I started crying. All the guys were staring at me, and Hunter was staring at me. He didn’t even come over and say sorry or see if I was okay. So I walked over and I grabbed my bag and he just stood there. I said, ‘Hunter, don’t you have anything to say to me?’ And he was like, ‘You know I’ve got a game in like ten minutes. Can we talk later?’ I was like, ‘Whadda you mean can we talk later? Don’t you think this is more important right now?” He just laughed and said, ‘There’s nothing more important than football, Birdie. You know that.’“
“Wow.” Olivia’s jaw dropped. “You’re joking.”
“I’m not joking. And then one of his buddies says, ‘Ain’t that right, Hunter?’ And all the guys started laughing. I heard one guy saying, ‘bros before hoes.’ I couldn’t believe that Hunter didn’t even say anything. He didn’t speak up for me. Nothing. And so I left and I went home. I waited all night for him to call and he didn’t call me. I waited for the weekend to see if he would call and he didn’t call me. And then on Monday, I saw on Instagram that he’d gone to a party and was all dancing up on Victoria.”
Olivia’s jaw dropped. “Oh, hell no! Really?”
“Yup. So I called him, and I said, ‘What the hell is going on?’ He said, ‘What are you talking about?’ And I said, ‘Really? You’re going to speak to me like that and treat me like that and you’re not even going to apologize?’ And he said to me, ‘You’re the one that should have apologized to me. How dare you embarrass me in front of my football friends like that.’ And I was like, ‘Are you joking?’ And he said, ‘Are you joking?’ I said, ‘So now you’re dating Victoria?’ He said, ‘No, I just went to a party and she was there. I can dance with other women. You can dance with other men.’“
“Wow, what a jackass.”
“And that was it. I’d had enough. I told him it was over. I told him I never wanted to see him again. And then that was it.” I could feel the tears running down my eyes. “It all sounds so stupid and dumb, and I hate myself for even letting this still affect me, but it’s just so ridiculous.”
“Girl,” Olivia reached out her hand and squeezed mine, “he’s an asshole, okay? None of that was your fault. The way he spoke to you, the way he treated you, he’s an absolute asshole. I completely understand why you don’t like him. I completely understand why you don’t want to see him. He doesn’t deserve even a second of your time. Are you telling me he’s never apologized to you?”
I shook my head. “He has never apologized to me. And now he thinks that I’ll show him around San Francisco after everything?” I laughed a little hysterically. “He’s an idiot. That is never going to happen. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to happen.”
“Yeah, girl, I don’t blame you. Not at all. Wow, that is absolutely crazy. I mean, I know guys are immature and I know guys can do stupid things and say dumb things, but that’s just absolutely awful. What a way for him to treat you, his girlfriend of, what, eight years?”
“Exactly. Essentially, we’d been dating for eight years. I thought I was the one that he loved more than anyone else. We’d been talking about getting freaking married. I’m never going to marry a guy like that. What an asshole.”
“Oh, wow. Oh, man.” Olivia shook her head. “I’ve heard some stories about some horrible guys before, and I mean, he’s up there. He’s not the worst, but he’s really up there.”
“So anyway, that’s why I don’t want to see him and I don’t want to talk to him. You can see why I’m kind of embarrassed because I basically was giving this guy my everything and he just used and abused me. He just didn’t even care that I loved him so much.”
“Girl, you do not have anything to feel sorry about. Screw him. Let him move on in his life and leave you alone. Man, I kind of wish you would see him just so I could come and cuss him out for you.”
I laughed. “Oh, Olivia, you’re amazing. You know that, right?”
“That’s what friends are for. Wow. Yeah, now I understand why you absolutely want nothing to do with him.”
“Yeah. I want nothing to do with him ever, ever again. Just because he thinks he’s cute and whatever, he’s not going to worm his way back into my life.”
“Good girl. And thank you for telling me. I know that must’ve been really hard. It seems like he really hurt you.”
“Yeah, he did. I think I had so many dreams for us that I just didn’t recognize the person he’d become.” I let out a long sigh and sat back. “At one point in my life, he’d been like my Prince Charming. I thought he was my knight in shining armor. I thought he was the man who would chase all the bogeymen away. He was meant to be my protector, my lover, the person that was there for me against everyone else. But in the end, he became the villain of my story. He was the one I needed to run from.”
“Hey, it’s okay, Birdie. Because you know what?”
“What?”
“You still got a Prince Charming out there, and I promise you, when you meet him, you’ll forget all about this asshole.”