| |
Sarah-Jane
Bouncing down the steps to the waiting car, I jump in the front seat, surprised to see it empty. I pull down the sun visor and check my gloss, pushing up at my curls a little. Dad shocks me as he opens the door and slides into the driver’s seat. Mmm right well, he’s dropping me off, fine. Pulling out of our gated community, he starts with the normal, now listen here, I’m your father speech. Pity he doesn’t really act like one. The speech goes as follows, I can recite it backward. “Don’t do any drugs. Stay away from bad company, Sarah-Jane. You never know what could happen. You come from money, remember that.” God sakes, yes, I know, I think as I glance out of the dark-tinted windows of the Escalade. For once, Bernie is not driving me and I really wish he was. Would save this right here. I pause. Dad must have other plans after this, if he’s driving me. It’s not like him.
God, if only they knew, wouldn’t they laugh? I’ve been drinking for a while now. It’s a bit hard not to when you watch your mother numb herself night after night with it and a bottle of sleeping tablets. I won’t touch drugs though, not after what Brad did. Liquor, I can do. I’m still in control but drugs that takes all your control and senses away? No. I drink just a little bit here and there, at night mostly. It makes me numb to the constant bickering between my parents; like Mom does. It numbs it away. So, I don’t have to think about Dad leaving and coming home late or sometimes, not at all. I’m sure occasionally I can smell other women on him. Mom will drink in the dark and cry, take her glass of whiskey, along with her sleeping tablets, up to her empty room and fall into a sad, lonely slumber, then just like that, the next day they are back to being the loving Mr. and Mrs. Briggs. They head to parties, meetings, interviews, and attend lunches, dinners, the works. All with painted on smiles and fake love in their hearts.
They lost the true love they had for one another the night that Brad died. Now it’s been replaced with blame, hate, and sadness. I don’t want that for myself, not ever. I couldn’t do that to myself or my family when I have one. How could you? I get so tired, listening to the same crap over and over again as it spews from them. Would they really care if I was doing all they say not to do? Would they be able to see past themselves, for that long? I don’t think so.
So, with a fake smile, I say all the right things to him. “Yes Daddy, ok Daddy, no Daddy, you can trust me, Daddy”. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! For the love of God, give it up already! They push. They push so hard and wonder why we are so messed up.
Finally, we pull up outside the football field. I reach to open the door and, before I know it, Daddy has his hand on my arm. I turn as he takes in a breath and closes his eyes. They stay shut for a little bit and I roll mine. That’s one of my bad habits. Mom’s always telling me to stop it because, “A lady doesn’t roll her eyes, Sarah-Jane”. Whatever. I roll them again at the thought of what she would say if she was here. When I look up again, Daddy’s eyes are open and hooded with pain; laced with fear and hopelessness. I smile up at him; this man I love under it all, I do. I give him a hug and tell him “I’m going to be ok, Daddy. Don’t worry, I’ll be with Tammy after the game and we won’t do anything careless.” See, I’m just saying all the right words to a man that’s so smart he’s a Senator but yet he’s too dumb to see through the façade of his perfect, A-grade daughter, who’s as broken as he is. Needing, no wanting her parents, but drowning in their hate, tears and lonely nights.
I lean over and place a kiss on his cheek. He clears his throat and says for the first time in a long time, “I do love you Sarah-Jane. You know that, don’t you?”
I smile at him and reply “Yes Daddy, I do know that. And I love you. Mom does too. Maybe, you should go home and tell her that you love her and maybe tonight she won’t sit up and cry alone in the dark, drinking herself into a state.” He goes stiff and looks at me, trying so hard to hide the expression on his face. I look him square in the eye and say, “Daddy, I’m not dumb. I see what’s going on and I feel just as much as you both do. I loved him too; he was a part of me as well. I also lost him. And you know what? I’m still here, right here in front of you both. I didn’t die that night. I still need you both.” Swiping at the tear that has rolled down my cheek, anger washes over me. I hate crying. It’s weakness, a weakness I don’t want to feel. Looking up at him, I realize I’ve left the man speechless.
He runs his hand over my hair and says with wonder and sadness. “Darling girl, how did you grow up so fast, right before my eyes? I didn’t even realize. For you, I will try. I’ll try to pick up these broken pieces and fix the cracks, because if I lost you, too, there wouldn’t be anything left to fight for.” Well it’s not like you’re fighting now, for us, or for anything, I think coldly. These thoughts and conversations leave me feeling exhausted. Nothing ever changes.
I lean in and hug him for a long time. I just hug him, breathe him in. For those few seconds, time seems to stand still. I have my dad, really have him, for the first time in a long time. He is here with me; feeling, hearing me, seeing me, and only me. That feels amazing! It gives me a glimmer of hope that maybe we have turned a corner and we can go back to the way things had been before.
We come apart. Daddy is smiling, and that warms my heart. We look at each other and he says, “I will darling; I’ll go home to her now. Thank you, kiddo. Stay safe ok?” With that, I hop out of the Escalade, turn back and give him a smile. With a skip in my step, I head into the crowd.
I find Tammy standing outside the changing rooms looking flustered. She spins around when I walk up. “Jeez, where have you been?” she spits at me. What’s up with her attitude this girl really does confuse me.
“I’m not that late, am I?” Surely not; my talk with Dad didn’t take that long, did it?
“Oh well,” she shakes her head, “you’re here now,” she chimes and pulls me into the changing rooms giggling. What has gotten into her? Do I want to know? Probably not. See confuses me, one minute she’s all hot headed and snappy the next its all chirpy and wonderful school girl drama.
Oh well she’s Tammy. I watch her mouth babble on as my minds slips to the man who has set up residents inside my brain. I wonder if he is here? Tammy’s high pitch voice with an over dramatic “OMG!” Pulls me from the trance that is Knox Ambrose. Her hands find my shoulders and her over excited eyes bore into mine as she never loses a beat and just flows on into her statement.
“So, Clarke told me that tonight he wants me to stay after the party, that he wants to go, you know, all the way!”
Holy hell’s bells. I nearly choke on the drink she has just handed me. God, was that from what she said or the drink? First thing’s first, “what the hell is this?”
“Cognac,” she says. “It’s from my Dad’s cabinet.” I take another sip, deciding that I love the taste and feel as it slides down my throat, leaving a slight burn in its wake.
“What the heck Tammy, are you ok?” I touch her forehead. Like this girl can’t be for real! Drinking and sex like shit she’s Tammy and she’s the Cheerleader captain her parents will flip if they realize that their A+ daughter is out drinking in a changing room. This is so not a Tammy thing to do.
“Yes,” she says swatting my hand away. “I’m fine. Just a little, won’t hurt before the game; and after. Did you hear what I said? Clarke wants to go all the way. Like, not holding hands, playing it safe, touching, but all the way. God, I’m glad I wore my good panties tonight.”
I shake my head at her. Did I just hear her right? Good panties? Is there such a thing? I take a long pull on the cognac; she’s not the only one that’s going to need this tonight.
After she’s all prepped and ready we head out to pep up her squad. I intend on staying in the bleachers, by the front. Just before we get there, Tammy stops me and says, “Clarke told me Dan told him that he really likes you and would love to take things further.” Rolling my eyes, ice forms in my heart, that kid just doesn’t get it.
For God’s sake, I’m about to lose my mind over this, I think, exasperated. Dan must need a doctor to check out his head. For weeks now, I have told him that I’m not one bit interested in him, nor will I be at any time in the foreseeable future. This is ridiculous. I take a deep breath and look at Tammy before replying, “Really?”
She looks back with her puppy dog eyes and pleads, “Please, just try. He’s a nice guy, Sarah-Jane.”
“Uh-huh”, I comment. “Yeah right, if you say so.” I say it, looking up to the heaven for help.
I decide that I will leave it at that, for now. I’ll just avoid Dan Johns. Tonight, my mind is somewhere else anyway. I keep thinking about what happened with Daddy in the car. That was so weird, but in a good way. I also find my mind wandering to the elusive Knox Ambrose. Every time I think of him my heart quickens, and I feel a little tingly in all the right places. Where is that bad boy anyway? What’s he up to? Damn, I need to get my hands back on that cognac and shake this giddiness off. It may just give me the bravado needed to push down this daydreaming girly-ness and talk to him. That’s the plan Stan so best I execute it.
Knox
Holy hell! The stadium’s packed I think the whole town is here.
We squeeze through the traffic jam of people, smelling of beer and hotdogs, to find some seats amidst the pride of American football and cheerleaders. Personally, I don’t see the hype, I’d much rather watch a good old-fashioned ass whooping with a bottle of beer in my hand.
The hot little ring of girls are dressed in little more than their underwear. One of them wouldn’t go astray either. They always seem to give you a nice look at what they are working with; leaving very little to the imagination, that’s for sure. I’ll have plenty of time for that when I make it in the UFC. A scantily-clad ring model or two, walking round an octagon – now that’s hot – in between fights. I shift uncomfortably in my seat trying to hide the semi hard-on the thought has given me.
I wonder where the sweet Sarah-Jane is. Talk about a delightful distraction. She’s probably somewhere near the cheerleaders, I’m sure. They don’t seem to ever leave her side, or maybe it’s she who stays close to that group? One thing I’ve noticed, Tammy’s always there and so is Dan.
I’ve seen the way he watches her, but I’ve also seen the way she shoots him down. The guy should take a hint. Poor guy; has it bad. Who wouldn’t though, shit any man within a hundred yards would. She is fucking gorgeous with an edge of divine elegance. I need to find her. For some reason, I feel very protective of her. The more I think about it, the more my hands sweat, the faster my heart beats, the more my mind races. I have it fucking bad for the girl I don’t even know. The chick I would lay it all down for. Looking around, I scan the joint, needing to find our seats just as Jamie hollers over the crowd and noise, pointing to where he has located them. They are two rows up from the front of the cheerleading squad. Of course. Jamie’s little lady is on the prissy squad and he has made sure that he and the boys have a bird’s eye view of them. I have a small chuckle to myself. If only they knew what these boys are like, then I’m sure that they wouldn’t be so keen to hand over their V-card to them. It’s their loss really, since they seem far too eager to listen to anything else. Kash, and I are tame compared to Jamie and the other boys. Hold on, I’ll correct that statement. Kash is mellow. He’s a lover, not a fighter. Me? Well, I’m rough ‘round the edges to say the least. I like it hard, I do. But I’m not as ruthless as some of the guys in our group. Their whole purpose in college is to fuck everything and anything with a pulse and as hard and fast as they can, leaving nothing but shattered hearts and dreams in their wake. Funny, isn’t it? I want to fight and smash back the exquisite Miss Briggs, so really, I’m no better.
Jamie breaks into my train of thought. “Where’re you going?” I ask as he steps past me.He replies “To give my girl a good luck kiss since it’s the first game of the season. And then to get us some beers.”
“Oh yeah,” I say, “I’ll come with. I could use a beer to get through this game and its screaming women.”
We hit the delightful bunch of cheerleaders, who are swarming around like a mad mob of bees. Shit they are loud. Like can’t they hear themselves! Shrieking and clapping, jumping around like they are jacked up on sugar. Their high pitch talk fifty miles an hour voices is insane on my ears and I have a head-ache already and the night has just started. This is why I avoid these sorts of things Cheerleaders are loud and over the top I’d much rather the noise from a UFC fight over this high-pitched screaming any day of the week. I see Tammy out the corner of my eye and she has a sour look on her face. I give her a wink and flash her a charming smile. Oh, sweetheart, I think. Lighten up. I’m not the devil.
She has been like a banshee stung since I denied her awhile back. I wasn’t then, and am not now, into dating girls like her. They aren’t worth the hassle. I don’t do dating, anyway. I don’t have time. I need to make it as a fighter and give Nan and Pa a comfortable life, something to enjoy before the Gods call them. But you never know, for a heavenly woman who has my breath catching and my heart beating all kinds of strange, a man may just make an exception.
I look around me to see if I can see her, but I can’t. I’m getting restless standing here. I’d much rather be sitting down where I can case the joint and see if I can spot her. I say to Jamie, “Come on, let’s go get a drink and take our seats. You can suck face with your bird later, bro,” impatiently looking around anywhere but at the she-devil burning holes in my head with her stare. Pulling at Jamie’s jacket I snap, “Bro?”
“Ok, ok! Right, coming. Fuck man, like I said the other day, take one for a spin.”
Looking him square in the eye, I retort, “I’ll leave giving the cheer squad issues for the rest of their lives up to you, brother.” I punch his arm as he pulls his bird in for more face sucking. Forget it, I’ll get my own fucking drink. This prick is dick whipped. I spin round on the ball of my boot and bam! Just like an Angel, she is right there; light falling around her as the sun hits her blonde hair, sending the perfect shimmering glaze around her. She’s coming out from around the side of the bleachers. And not too far behind, Dan Johns.
I watch her push him away when he leans close and then he grabs her arm. My inner rage swirls inside and I clench my fists. What the fuck is that walking dick up to? He better keep his hands inside his football jacket and far away from her perfect skin. Thinking about it as I watch her, she came from the side that the changing rooms are on. Could be a coincidence that they are both there at the same time, but something doesn’t seem right. I feel it, see her body move on edge. When he’s near her, her movements are jerky and the way he’s watching her; it has my hairs on the back of my neck standing up, as I ball my fists, just do it, Danny boy. One step too far and I’ll knock ya teeth down ya fucking throat and you’ll shit them out for the next month. Light hitting something silver catches my eyes; it’s in her hand. What the hell has she got in her hand? Is that a flask? Tammy jogs over and grabs whatever it is, takes a sip and passes it back to Sarah-Jane. I see Clarke and Dan smirk at each other. What the fuck’s up with that? I growl to myself. Damn, I’ll be watching her closer from now on. I’m not going to be too far from her side tonight, that much I know. Not feeling at all one hundred percent, with what my gut is telling me is dodgy.
Sarah-Jane
“GO AWAY Dan! Like really, just go away and leave me alone! I’m not interested in anything you have to say. I’m not in the place to want to be seen with, spoken to, or used by someone like you! I’ve told you so many times that I don’t date jocks. To be honest, I don’t date anyone, so you can back up and go whisper sweet nothings into one of the cheerleader’s ears.” Looking him up and down I say it in the best ‘get lost creep’ voice I can muster and it’s a challenge. I’ve got being polite ingrained into me, with speech lessons and etiquette classes from such a young age.
“Bad move Sarah-Jane,” he says, as he grabs my arm. I pull free with ease. Damn, that cognac has me feeling all types of strong. I like it. Walking with my head back and shoulders squared, I go to walk away, this dick follows behind me so I retort over my shoulder.
“Look, Dan, I wish you luck and I hope you have a good game, but I’m heading back out and this – whatever you had planned – is over.” I stop as he comes up fast, stepping in front of me so as to stop me dead in my tracks. GOD, I look him dead in the eye. “Shouldn’t you be heading into a pep-talk, butt grabbing chat with your team about now?” Laughing internally at my own joke, I give myself a mental pack on the back. Good one, Sarah. That was brilliant.
He’s seething by the time I get that little line out. Good, this guy’s a douchebag. I go to step past him but he grabs my arm again and snarls, “You’ll pay for that,” he breathes into my ear with a taste of venom that sting the hairs on my neck.
Not wanting him to know I’m intimidated, I step back and spit out with as much bravado as I can muster. “Pay for what?” I ask, “Telling you how it is? Ok dude, sorry, I’m not like the other girls that chase you. I won’t be dropping my panties as quick as you wink. You’re just not that charming or interesting.” Laughing, I shake my arm free, just as Clarke walks around the corner. God, they both grate on my nerves. Here we go, round two with the jock squad.
I shut my eyes as he walks over asking, “All good here, kids?” in a weird tone.
I don’t hesitate before answering with a chirpy and firm “yup, sure is. We are done, aren’t we, Dan?”
“Right then,” says Clarke. “Well man, we’re ready when you are. Time to go play ball.”
He winks at me. Yuck. Could these guys be any more hideous? I start to move away but, before I can take two steps, Clarke is asking Dan if he has the flask for Tammy. Dan reaches into the back of his pants to hand it to him, but instead, he passes it to me. Clarke then asks me, so politely, that his fakeness makes me want to puke, if I could please give it to that hot piece of ass of his.
“Uh, you mean Tammy, right? Because last time I checked, that was her name.” Why and how did they have that? Last I saw it was with Tammy in the locker room.
“Yeah, ok Sarah-Jane, keep your hair on. She asked for it to be refilled.” Mmmm I think, not really caring and not one bit interested in being near these two a second longer.
“Fine,” I nod snatching it from his slimy hand.
“It’s cognac,” they say, “the same as before,” laughing to each other and then sending me a wink. As I walk away, I can feel Dan behind me. I spin on my heels, my face set with my best ‘get stuffed’ glare. I tell him to back the hell off. He grabs my arm again. Goddamn, this song-and-dance is getting old! He snatches out, grabbing my arm in a vice like grip, and whispers in my ear “This isn’t over sweetheart. I always get what I want.” God, he makes my skin crawl. I pull my hand free and stamp on his foot before walking away. I hear him calling out behind me, “Make sure you drink up Sarah-Jane, it’s just what you need to chill the fuck out”. Unfazed by him and his comments and feeling the effects of the drink from earlier and the new surge of power I have, I flip him the bird over my shoulder, smiling to myself. Ooooh girl, you’re fierce.
I head towards the girls. Tammy jogs over, takes the flask and then sends a smile and a kiss to Clarke, I imagine. I’m shaking in my skin. This girl is truly blind to the fact that those boys are slimy douchebags, who just want to get their end away and don’t care how they do it. Tammy takes a sip and then I take another long pull on the flask. After having to deal with Lord Dick, I so need it! She waves them good-bye and tells me she is going to get the girls prepped with a cheer chant. I smile and roll my eyes. There is nothing I can say without laughing at her, so I reply, “I’ll be here after the game.”
She leans in and gives me a hug. “Hold onto the cognac and make sure you save me some.” With that, she turns and skips away in true Tammy style. I shake my head and turn to find my seat in the bleachers, and boom! Just like a flash of lightning, there he is, all walking God and standing right in front of me. Holy jeepers! Talk about taking my breath away. I feel dizzy. I’m sure it’s him and not the cognac. I feel a flush grace my cheeks and butterflies start fluttering around in my stomach. God, I’m so worried that if I try to speak, those little suckers are going to fly right out! He sure makes me feel a whole lot of nervous and excited all at the same time.
We stand there, just staring at each other for what feels like an eternity. There seems to be so much space between us, but then not nearly enough. I go to take a step toward him, my heart pounding so loud I’m sure he can hear it. This man is so electrifying, if anyone was to walk between us at this moment they would definitely get a shock. We seem to be in our own bubble of intoxicating lust, want, and need. So many questions floating unspoken between us. There is an earth-shifting pull between us. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach and between my legs. I have an intense, irrational, undying need to touch this man, to feel him, to see if he is real, if he is alive. I want to absorb this man and let him seep into my soul.
As I step forward, I stumble, a little tipsy and lightheaded. I feel giddy just being in such close proximity to him. Good God, I’m a mess! I feel his arm come around my waist to catch me. Spinning on his heel and flicking me out in a small circle as he pulls me into him. That rock-hard chest presses up against my back and his front hits my butt. Ooh good lord, I feel his bulge against me. If that is what he’s working with, then heck. Holy sweet lord, he smells delicious, like night time rain and musk. He keeps his grip tight around my waist and where he is touching me feels hot like fire licking my skin. I try to turn and he catches on turning me in his arms, linking his fingers on the base of my back, resting there like they belong. I look up and see his eyebrows are knitted together. He is watching me, his eyes boring into my soul. He has such a pained look on his face. I wonder what that is about. But before I can say anything, the spell is broken. The bubble popped between us by his mate, Jamie, I think. I feel dazed and unsteady on my feet. I’m not sure if it’s the captivating Mr. Ambrose, the fire in my ovaries or the cognac. Either way, I need to sit down.
“Let’s go, dude,” says Jamie. “It’s time to grab our drinks and sit down to enjoy a night of hot cheerleaders dancing round in next to nothing.” He flicks a cheesy grin my way. Knox looks at me and for the first time speaks.
“Hey, are you going to be ok?” As he lets his grip round my waist loosen, he brings up his hand pushing a curl of long blonde hair from my face. I gain my balance and gently shake my head to relieve some of the fuzziness. To no avail though. I bring my feet down level. For some reason, I was standing on my tippy toes.
“Um yeah, sure,” I reply. “Thank you for grabbing me.” Oh, god is that all you got Sarah, internally beating myself up for being twenty shades of not cool.
He looks at me with a seriously sexy smirk. “No problem, you seem to like throwing yourself at me, don’t you?” He says it like it’s a question mixed with a statement.
Heck My cheeks redden! I only manage to mumble “you could say that.”
For the love of God, Sarah, really? He winks at me, “Laters baby.” And just like that, he’s gone. With his smell floating around me, my senses are on hyper alert, his “Laters baby” just chilling in the space between us, all I can do is blink and grin. It’s a cheek hurting grin too. Right. I head to my seat in the front row and turn to see him looking at me over his shoulder. How can that man be so hot and calm all at the same time? I feel so stupid, right now. How could I stuff that up so bad? I didn’t even say who I was. I just stood there, all dazed and confused like a love-struck school girl. I take a swig from the flask and settle into the game, while I silently berate myself for how I acted with him.
As the game goes on, I begin to feel strange. It could be the drink, but I have been drunk before and this feeling is different in some weird way. It’s all fuzz and buzz rolled into one ball of dizzy, heavy, and not quite right. I can’t seem to shake it loose. I’ll give the cognac a rest, I think.
Knox
She’s so mesmerizing; the way her honey blonde hair falls in soft curls around her like a golden halo. I find her so enchanting and the way she smells is intoxicating. The way her body felt under my touch was exhilarating. Having her back pressed up against my chest, her ass fit perfectly in my crotch and by god, didn’t my little friend react to being that close. It had my heart and mind doing all types of weird things. She certainly has a way to pull me in. I can’t deny that there was an intense, magnetic spark between us. My palms feel hot where I’d touch her. It feels like fire and ice, a bit of a burn and a bit cool at the same time. Damn Jamie for breaking the trance. I kind of liked it there and would have liked to have seen where it went. Feeling her body under my touch has me itching for more. Seeing her shoot Dan down and smart mouth both him and Clarke, that made me chuckle. I like nothing more than strong women and this one, from what I see, is right up my alley. When I was watching them, though, I did sense something weird between them, the guys mainly. It seemed that they had a plan and whatever was in that flask had something to do with it. She did seem off, a bit fuzzy. I’m going to keep a close eye on her, just to make sure. Grabbing my beers and chips, I head back to the bleachers. I pass her and she tries not to smile as she looks at me walk by. Smirking, I nod my head at her as she turns scarlet red. Oh, the fun we could have, darling. I’ll make you red; all over.
Throughout the game, I watch her like a hawk. I can’t get enough of the way she moves, the way she flicks her hair when it falls across her face from the breeze. This girl is so breath-taking. I really want to just take her away from here and ravage her bones, to touch her, feel her, and taste her. I have the undying need to hear that sweet thing scream my name. She’s so consuming, I want nothing more than to destroy her and each time she moves she’ll know that I have been there, for the next week. That thought alone brings a smirk to my lips. Shit, I sound like Jamie and the boys, and for some reason, I don’t think I’m the only one thinking that either. At least one of those two jocks from the dick squad has the same idea about her and Tammy. Well, over my dead body, he will come anywhere near Sarah-Jane, not while I’m here at least. I want her. She has taken my interest, consumed my thoughts and haunted my dreams. That girl is going to be mine. She won’t know what has happened to her soul by the time I’m done with her.
While the game winds up, my thoughts travel to how I’m going to get her away from Tammy tonight. I don’t have to worry about jock one and jock two, I’m sure if I said ‘boo’ they may just piss their pants. They like to think that they are tough, but I’m sure I can take them. Then I remember what Pa always says: “don’t judge a book by its cover boy; you never know what’s under there. His fight just may be more than what you have.”
Tammy, on the other hand, will not let me near her quite so easily and that is going to need a plan. We all know by now how girls stick together, but if Sarah-Jane feels half as much as I think she does about us, then I’m sure she’ll calm down her pit-bull of a friend so we can figure this all out. I’m quite looking forward to that. I’ll take her away from the party tonight and see just how much of her I can get to know, see just how much of a good girl she really is.
A flicker in the corner of my eye breaks my train of thought. It’s Sarah-Jane, she’s leaving the bleachers. As she starts to walk down, she stumbles a bit. I feel a dire need to go to her, pick her up and carry her away. She sits back down. I look at Jamie as she places her head in her hands. “Brother, I’ll meet you down there. Aye. I’m just going to talk with Sarah-Jane.”
I glare at him when he whistles out, “All good brother. I’ll catch you down there.” He winks at me.
I get up and head down to where she is sitting. Stepping down onto the final bleacher, I push past the crowd and park my ass right next to her, my hand sitting down on top of hers and boom, like lightening, that heat is there. Startled, she snaps her head up from her hands and looks at me through hazy eyes.
“Hey, you,” I say causally as I look into her eyes.
“Hey,” is all she says in response. She looks away, breaking the intense current swirling around us. She pulls her hand free and runs her fingers through her hair.
“You ok, Babes?” I feel concern seeping out as I notice that she is off, she seems different and not in a good way either.
“Yep. I’m just feeling a bit off. Think it could be like fromlack of food maybe, or water.” She tells me as she places her hand down over her tummy.
“Stay here ok, I’ll be back.” Before she can say anything, I jump down from the bleaches and head to the hot food truck. Once there, I grab us both a bottle of water and a hot dog, along with some chips. As I pay, I keep one eye on her and one on what I’m doing.
Heading back her eyes find mine and a smile rests over her delicate features, “You didn’t have to,” she says gratefully, taking the water and food.
“I know, but I did. Eat up, Babes,” winking at her, I settle in, munching back the hot dog. There is nothing like game food to get ya taste buds tingling. I’m going to need to do ten extra sit up for this one tomorrow. Watching the game as I finish my food, I see she-devil herself looking up at us. Wrapping my hand around her shoulders, I pull her in, “Better Babes?”
She turns into me, slightly jerky, “Better. Thank you.”
Tisking at her, I smile, “No thanks needed Babes, I needed a reason to get near you again and to stay.” On cue, cheeks redden and she giggles. What a sweet sound that is. “I’ve seen you around with team prissy,” I say.
She looks up at me through her lashes, “Yes, well it’s the group I fit into.”
Shaking my head at her, I tell her what I think, “Looks like you try hard not to, Babes.” I take a large swig from my water and watch her curiously as she mulls it over.
The final whistle blows as she looks at me, “Well, I try hard to keep up appearances.”
I tilt my head to the side and look deep into her hazy eyes, “Don’t ever feel like you need to fit in, Babes, just to be someone you’re not.”
She tries to stand once more but wobbles again, flicking her hands out to stable herself. I grab her hand, standing up to support her. “Sorry,” she says, like she has something to be sorry for.
“Don’t sweat it Babes. As long as you’re alright?” I ask, concerned again, stepping to the side as she walks forward.
“I’m fine. I have to go wait for Tammy. Thank you for the water and food.”
“No problem,” She steps from the bleaches and heads over to the edge of the changing rooms I just sit here and watch her for a bit.
Jamie and the boys are heading down to meet up with their cheerleaders for the night. I’m thinking I may ask her if she’s going to the party and if she wants to ride with us. Once there, we’ll ditch the boy and Tammy and take off somewhere else. I grab Kash and go to make that plan a reality. Before I can get to her though, Tammy and the jocks reach her. Tammy’s arm in arm with her man-child, and they all walk up to Sarah-Jane. As they walk away, Dan goes to put his damn arm around her. I stiffen, just as she tries to shake him off. She looks as though she may lose her balance and fall. She’s still rather wobbly on her feet, just like before when she started to leave the bleachers. I watch Dan take the flask and hear him say, “Have you been drinking this?”
She nods and he says, “Good girl.” He passes it to Clarke, who gives him a wink and passes it to Tammy.
I ball my fists and say to Kash, “Bro, did you see that?”
“See what? Them passing a drink? Yeah, why, what’s up?”
I stalk over to them, Kash right behind me. When I reach them, Sarah-Jane is pushing Dan back, saying, “Dude, get off me! Why do you always need to touch me?”
I spin his hands off from around her. He flicks round, “What the fuck bro?”
“She’s told you to back up, so best you back up, don’t you think?”
Tammy and Clarke stop, watching to see what the fuss is about.
“What’s up?” Tammy asks. “Get lost. Knox. She’s fine, aren’t you Sarah-Jane?”
“I’m not asking for your two cents, Tammy. If you were any kind of friend you would see she isn’t into this jerk and whatever it is he’s been giving her.” I’m shaking as I pull him in by his football top.
“Oh, don’t be a hero dude,” chimes in Clarke. “How would you know what she wants and likes? You aren’t one of us, so piss off.”
My knuckles are turning white and I can feel the throb of a vein popping in my neck. I ball my fist, take a step back, while still holding Dan by the scruff of his neck and go to punch this muppet right between the eyes, then I’ll crack Clarke the douche too. Kash grabs my arm, pulls me back, and quietly says in my ear, “Hey, it isn’t worth it, bro. Remember Pa said if you get in trouble for fighting outside the cage one more time, it’s over for you. Don’t do that, leave them.”
I take a deep breath. I know he’s right and God, that’s so hard to take in. I look past them to Sarah-Jane and ask her if she’s ok and if she wants me to take her home. She looks stunned. It takes her a little while to answer me. When she does, her speech is a little slurred. She finally gets out a, “I’m ok, thank you. But come to the party, I’ll be there.”
I drop the muppet on his ass and she flicks me a smile over her shoulder, as Tammy pulls her away. I spin around to Kash and spit, “Let’s go and find the boys, we need to get to that party and fast. Something doesn’t sit right. There is something up with those guys and that drink is not just alcohol.”
“Yeah, ok man,” nods Kash. “Let’s roll.”
Sarah-Jane
Dan is such a pain. Why doesn’t he get that I’m just not into him. He makes my skin crawl! The way he hangs onto me, God, I am not a damn coat rack!
Having Knox come to my rescue was pretty damn amazing, though. That man is freaking hot! I’m feeling really good right now, a bit too fuzzy if I am being honest, though. I’ll do water for a bit, I think. I grab another bottle from the concession stand on our way out the gate. Clarke has such a joke car, convertible, go figure. Tammy loves it; me, not so much. I do not like being this close to Dan. He makes me feel like I’m struggling for air. The wind in my face and whisking through my hair is a welcome comfort; it helps with this Goddamn fog that has taken over my body without my consent.
Driving out of town over to the school frat houses I think to how sweet Knox was tonight, getting me water and food. My stomach stills feels off like it’s a damn rollercoaster and any moment I will be sick. I wish I could talk to Tammy about it but with her swigging on the flask for dear life and sitting up front, it’s a bit hard. I know for sure at the party I won’t either. Pulling into the drive way and parking out front. I relish in the fresh air hiting my face as I step from the back seat. My skin is clamy and gross. Walking up the front steps of the house where the great jock squad is housed the smell hits me and my stomach coils. It’s a Mess and it stinks filled with booze and stale smoke. I need to find a bathroom and fast before I lose what little is in my stomach all over the stained and off yellow carpet.
I find a bathroom upstairs and down the end of the dimly lit hallway. I open the door and lock it behind me, looking in the mirror, I’m shocked at what I see. My eyes are glassy looking. My skin looks and feels pale and sticky, with a sheen of sweat. I feel it trickle down my back as my legs begin to feel like jelly. My head is spinning. I turn on the tap and scoop up cold water to splash on my face, in a feeble attempt to wash this feeling away. What the hell has gotten into me? What the fuck was in that drink? Cognac shouldn’t be this intense. Before I know it my mouth waters and my stomach lurches up, as vomit comes out, not only my mouth but my nose. Great, all my contents have come out mixed with tonight’s food. Using my finger, I have to push and swirl it down the plug hole, running the water to assist in this effort. God, I feel like death warmed up and I look just as bad. I’m going to find out what the fuck is going on and the two jocks are at the top of my shit list.
I attempt to fix my hair and face. Pulling my lip gloss from my bag, I try, in a feeble attempt, to look half human and then go looking for Tammy. Walking slowly but surely, I count the steps as I walk down them, anything to help ease this queasy feeling in my stomach. I spot her when I’m on the second to last step. She’s in the lounge, sitting on Clarke's lap. It looks like she’s getting warmed up for their plan to lose her V-card tonight. God help that girl, not only for that but for me too, I’m not happy.
“Tammy, I need to talk to you,” I say, shocked to hear my words slurring. It doesn’t sound like that in my head.
Tammy sounds the same. “Why?” she slurs out.
Looking from here to Clark, my reply is harsh, “Now.”
“I can’t feel my legs, at the moment,” She giggles, “To be honest, I can’t feel much, and I like it Sarah-Jane; so, you’ll have to talk to me here.”
“What’s up?” interjects Clarke.
“I want to know what was in that drink for us both to be feeling this way. What’s going on here? I know about your little plan to sleep with Tammy, but do you think drugging us is the way to do it?”
“Huh? Babe, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he smirks out,
“Like hell you do, Clarke. I’ve been off all night and just now I’ve been sick in a dirty ass bathroom,” I spit out at him, trying to sound stern but the slur really does little but bring a grin to his lips.
“Dan! Bro, come over here and take Sarah-Jane for some fresh air, will you? She’s not feeling too good,” He called out, flicking his finger over to Dan, who I see now sitting on the edge of the chair across from us.
I try to give him my best evil eyes, “Don’t come near me,” I say under my breath as he steps into my bubble.
“Sure Clarke, don’t need to ask me twice. I was just coming to find you, babe.”
“Don’t you babe me!” I say as he grabs my arm.
I pull free and stumble forward. “Shit” I snap.
Tammy starts laughing, “Ha! You swore, S.J!” I look down at her in disbelief, how is this funny?
I go to grab Tammy’s arm to pull her up and leave, “Come on Tammy, let’s go. These guys aren’t worth it!” I’m not an idiot. I know there is something other than liquor in the flask, they both have been way too cagey, tonight. I can feel it swimming in me I’m not an idiot. This isn’t just a normal effect from drinking the way my body moves and the way my mind is fuzzy I’m stumbling when I didn’t drink much at all enough to feel a buzz but no way near enough to feel like I’m floating outside my body watching as this train wreak unfolds around me.
She is in full hysterics by now, and rolling her eyes, hanging onto Clarke like a life raft. “Sarah-Jane, I’m fine. I’m not going anywhere. I feel a little fuzzy that’s all, from the drink and cheering tonight. Nothing a bed won’t fix, right Clarke Baby?” she mouths into his neck. His eyes meet mine,
“Sure, thing, babe,” he leers.
Yuck, this guy is something else, all right, he and his sick sidekick. Both have my skin crawling.
“Fine Tammy, I’m going. If you want to stay and entertain this loser, be my guest. But don’t say I didn’t warn you, Hun. I don’t like this at all!”
She looks up from under hooded eyes and just laughs and slurs out “Fine, see you later!” That’s it? That’s all I get? Confused, I just stare at her as Dan wraps his hand around my elbow. I rip my arm free from his sick touch. No where near as fast and forceful as I had planned my limbs feel heavy as my body starts to sway under the intense air in this room. Clarkes glare never leaving mine as a sick smile kisses his lips my mouth is dry and I need water but I also need to get my friend out of here I don’t understand it.
What has gotten into this girl? She’s not the Tammy I know. But then maybe she is, deep down, just like all of us; screaming to get out of the box.
Fuck, this goddamn fuzz and swaying and heaviness just won’t leave me. Running my heavy hands through my sweat laced hair I try to step forward but I can barely move my legs or feel any of me for that matter. Struggling, I try hard to push past the masses of people, drinks, and smoke. I manage to stumble my way to the double doors that lead to the kitchen. I turn to take one last look at Tammy who, by this stage, is doing way more than sucking Clarke’s face off! I shake my head and take a deep breath. What can I do? She won’t listen to me. Maybe I’ll run into Knox when I get outside. I hope so. I need to get away from here, I need him to take away from Dan and Clarke, the fact that I think I have been drugged and its terrorizing me to think that there is no-one here that I trust let alone know. I’m at the mercy of them all if I fall and let this drug laced liquor takes me. I don’t know anyone here to take me home. Shit, I don’t know if I trust him but he’s been nice and I need to get away. Shit, not home though. Dad will have kittens if I stumble in like this.
I get lost in thoughts of Knox, the gorgeous specimen, the butterflies forming instantly at the thought of him. As I walk out the back of the house, just my luck, I walk straight into Lord Dick. He seems to be just standing, watching me, and blocking my way. Great, just what I need! How did he get here so fast? Right I’ll give the dick a piece of my mind, that’s about all he will ever get.
“Move! I am not in the mood Dan. Why don’t you go in there and lap up one of the many cheerleaders that seem to be falling all over you? I’m sure they will be happy to sit on your dick.” My voice is a slurred mess and he just stands there, looking me up and down, giving me the creeps. He emits a low groan and a smirk forms across his face. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and a sickening chill runs down my back. This guy screams danger! His eyes bore into mine and fear ripples through me this is not good this feeling is not good.
I will my legs and body to do what my brain is screaming at it to do. Kick the guy in the nuts and run, FAST! This doesn’t feel right. Goddamn it! I can’t see straight and can’t seem to feel my body any more. It’s like I’m floating. Hell, this is getting worse, my vision is blurring. SHIT, what is happening? I take a step forward and stumble; his hand reaches out and grabs my arm tight, like a vice. It hurts, an intense burning grip. I try to shake him free. My mind is screaming ‘fight, get loose, RUN!’ Sucking deep breathes of air into my burning lungs my mind runs wild with nothing but sick thoughts of what he could do to me if I don’t run and run now. I see it swimming in his eyes a sick movie of his hands over my body and his breathe hot on my skin.
“Get the hell away from me,” I spit out at him. “Let me go!” He pulls me into him, my back to his front. “Not going to happen, sweetheart. You’re mine tonight. You need to be quiet. Can you feel the effects of the cognac and the little magic ingredient? You hit the nail on the head, accusing us of lacing it with drugs. I made it special, just for you! To loosen you up a bit. You see, darling, playing hard to get is only cute for so long. Time’s up, I’m tired of waiting. Why don’t you be a good little girl and just go with it, like your friend? She’s smart and more than willing to give it up!”
“You’re sick,” I slur at him hatefully. “Let me go!”
His grip tightens. I can barely breathe. As he pulls me tight into him, his arm snakes around my waist. He bites down into the flesh of my neck and my body convulses as he drags his tongue up my neck to the base of my ear. “Relax, I’ll take good care of you, sweetheart.”
I’m screaming inside. I can feel the bile rising up from my stomach to the base of my throat, the burn tickling the back of my tongue. I have to think. I have to let him believe that he’s in control. It will be my best chance at getting away so I have to think, calm down my raging heart and slow down my erratic breathing. Think Sarah-Jane think. I can’t though my mind is mush my senses are leaving me and I feel alone. Just then all thoughts and pleas to actually fight this drug in my body are put on hold as his little friend springs to life behind me as he pulls my body tight back into him. His bulge assaulting my backside instantly makes my skin crawl and I want to just unzip my bones and step out from my body and get away from this sicko. He starts to pull me back towards the darkness of the back of the house. I need to do something; I need to get loose from him. I go to turn in his arms; maybe he’ll think I’m caving and turning into him. I try this a couple of times while he’s inhaling the scent of my hair. His breath on the back of my neck is so gross. He licks up the side of my neck again, trails his free hand down the front of my top, over my breast, down further to the waist band of my jeans and rests it on the front of them. I feel him push his hand slightly harder onto me. I wiggle; I need to get free, but my body just won’t respond. It’s like a bad dream, I just can’t wake up from. I feel his breath in my hair. “Just give in baby. I won’t hurt you. You’ll like it, I promise.”
“Really?” I keep my voice low. “You think?” I am trying to sound calm and in control. “Do you think you could handle me and all I have?”
In that moment, he lets his grip loosen just enough for me to spin and kick the prick right in the nuts with all I have. He falls to the ground, pulling me with him. I hit my head on the side of the house as we go down. A scream escaping me as the pain surges through my head. I scramble to get up in the dark and dirt. God, I’m so dizzy. As I get to my feet, he’s screaming “Stop! Don’t you dare run! I will get you Sarah-Jane! You can’t hide from me.”
I hear him and I rush to my feet. I run, run with all I have my legs are so heavy. I think I’m gaining space between him and myself, only to be proved wrong when I feel his hand around my legs. I fall, face first into the harsh cold dirt my hands sprawled out in front of me as dirt puffs up around my face stinging my eyes and shooting up my nostrils. Fear ripples and dances over me as his strong and forceful body pulls me backwards into the shadows of the house the dark inclosing around me.Grating my nails through the dirt and ground, trying to slow down his pull, to no avail, as his hands snake up my legs and waist, pulling me back into him. My butt ends up in his lap and he wraps his legs around my waist. His arms entrap me; one around my neck and the other over my breasts. I try to fight back. I snap my head back so the back of my head hits his nose hard, I do it again but his grip never loosens. His anger vibrates through me, as I wiggle and kick, scream and snap my head back again, this time with all I have. It is now or never.
I have to get free. I will not be raped! Not here. Not in the dark. Not in the dirt. Not by Dan freaking Johns! I will not let him take the purest part of me That is for someone I love. I lurch back and I feel the crunch of his nose as my head slams into it. He gasps out in pain, his hands and legs drop from around me and I jump up on shaky legs my heart beating to the point of explosion, looking down as his hands cover his nose. Blood is seeping through his fingers. Pure anger in his eyes, they meet my terrified ones a sick feeling of power washes through me that I just did that I the most terrifying time I had it in me to inflict just a little of the pain he has embedded in me this night his sick actions have caused me to fight and I will not allow him anymore of me. I turn and I run. I don’t know where I’m going but I need to go. I don’t even know which way to go! I get just through the trees and feel a sharp pain in the back of my head. It whips back. He has a handful of my hair and pulls me to him. SHIT. My scalp burns as I feel his breath and he spits, “Bad move Sarah-Jane, you’re going to pay for that. I won’t even try to make this pleasant for you, now. I’ll take what I want and leave you here in the dirt, like the bitch that you are!”
God, how did this happen, why didn’t I listen to my instincts? I scream for help. A sharp slap to the right side of my face snaps me round and brings water to my eyes. My cheek stings and flames up with pain. I bite down hard on my lip and taste the metallic tang of blood. I try to blink away the tears that I feel forming as his hands grab me around my throat and squeeze so hard it takes all the air out of my lungs; small stars form at the back of my eyes. I try to blink them away too. As his fist connects with my face, more stars. Water starts to stream out of my eyes and down my face. I can’t even stop it now, the pain is shattering, the stars are there, taking up most of my vision. He’s there then nose to mine, lips so close to mine. I feel sick rising, trying hard to stay calm.
“You do anything to defy me again and I’ll knock your ass out right here and fuck you so hard it’ll take a month for you to walk straight!” I didn’t answer him as I stood there, shaking uncontrollably, too disorientated to try anything else.
FUCK! Where is everyone? Panic embeds deeper into the fibre of my soul and sweat beads down my spine. I try hard again to break free, to run. But his vicelike grip around my neck doesn’t loosen as he slams his fist hard into my gut. I curl over, gasping for air as pain sears through me like a fire balls ripping through the clean crisp summers air. He pulls me up by my hair my legs buck out in front of me as the will to survive takes over I allow the pain of my hair being ripped from my scalp to fuel me to thrush against his grip. He holds me out in front of him and his sick seedy eyes slide down my body to my breasts and back up to meet my horrified gaze. His hand drops from my scalp and I stumble slightly only to have his hand grip the front of my shirt and in one swift angry movement he rips it right open exposing my breasts to the cool night air. My skin is so clammy; I feel as though I could pass out and be sick all in one horrified moment. He licks his lips, takes a sharp intake of breath and makes some gross animal like sound. His hands snake around me so fast it takes my breath away. The white spots of fear kiss the corner of my vision as the world starts to spin around me I am going to pass out.
Dan starts to drag me backwards; one arm around my waist, the other around my neck. A renewed strength takes over me, I have to fight him. I don’t give a shit if he said not to. I can’t think of anything worse than this. If he does knock me out then maybe that would be better than this, the inevitable, right here, right now. I’m sweating and panicking, my breathing is so heavy and fast. I can feel my heart beating so rapidly it could break through my chest. I need to think, to calm down and think of a plan before it’s too late. All I can think to do is go limp in his arms to make it harder for him to drag me. I try to dig in my heels and start to wiggle and scream. His hand comes up around my mouth to muffle my screams. I don’t think so, I’m going to fight you all the way.
I bite down hard on his palm. He lets go for a split second. “Fucking bitch,” he says furiously. In the brief reprieve, I act fast and spin around and slash my nails down his face, kick him for a second time in the nuts. As he curls up to regroup and try to get air into his lungs, I whack him over the back of his head with the side of my fist. He falls to the ground; I kick dirt into his face and I turn and run screaming “HELP ME, SOMEONE!”
I take one quick look back over my shoulder to see if he’s up and coming after me, but he is trying to get air back into his lungs and wiping dirt from his face and eyes. Relief floods through me maybe this time I can get away from him and his sick clutches
“FUCK! You little bitch!” He is seething. “Stop if you know what’s good for you! You won’t get far. I’m going to fuck you up so bad when I get my hands on you.”
Not likely, this time I’m not stopping. I take off, stumbling desperately away until I round the corner and slam hard into what feels like a brick wall. I fall backwards with the sheer force of it and hit my head hard on the ground that it snaps back up and I bite my tongue blood pools in my mouth as my head falls back into the dirt with a thud. It’s getting dark and all I see are little white dots everywhere. I feel so dizzy so sick. I’m exhausted from the battle. I try hard to fight off the darkness, to get up, to move. I can’t let him get me. ‘Please,’ I plead inwardly over and over. ‘Please stop.’
Then there it is; his face, that voice, those eyes, so piercing. Just as fast as it came, the darkness takes it away but this time I welcome it.