Black, stinking water spewed over the ice. It sucked at my skirts. And it was cold. So cold it knocked the breath clean out of me. Another great cracking sound and the ice gave way. I clawed like a mad cat, but there was nothing to get hold of. The water kept tugging. My clothes grew heavy. Slowly, gently, the lake closed over my head and all went quiet but for the blood pounding in my ears. I went down and down into blackness. My chest was too tight. I couldn’t breathe. Then my feet touched something soft. I stopped sinking.
Panic kicked in. I thrashed and flailed. Mud got in my mouth, my eyes. Then, somehow, I was swimming up towards daylight. I saw sky and trees, all blurred through the ice. My lungs felt fit to burst.
Help me! Help me!
I lashed out madly. But there were no cracks or holes here. The ice stayed solid as marble above me. Dark spots danced before my eyes. Arms, legs, head, everything went heavy. All I wanted was to sleep. I pictured Pa, come home at last and wondering where I was. And Eliza and Ma looking at the clock and starting supper without me.
The queerest feeling came over me.
Something warm like a person’s breath tickled my cheek and I was no longer fighting for air. The water now seemed full of the strangest pearly light. A boy in a billowing white shirt floated towards me. I wondered if I was dead, if I’d crossed over to the other side and this was an angel coming to meet me.
He was the most perfect creature I’d ever seen. His golden hair moved gently with the currents, and his eyes were strange, beautiful things coloured like lavender. As he came closer, the light followed, as if it was coming from right inside him.
I stared. I couldn’t move. He stared back, his eyes all wide at the sight of me. He reached for my hand. His skin felt icy cold, but his hold was steady. If I was dead now, it didn’t matter. Here was my very own angel, beautiful and full of light.
He took my other hand and pulled me away from the deeper water. I let him take me. I knew I’d go anywhere with him. Then as grey daylight came through the ice again, I saw we were heading towards the bank. I pulled back.
I didn’t want to face Will Potter, or Ma or Eliza. Right now, I didn’t even care about Pa. I wanted to stay right here with this beautiful boy. Yet before my very eyes, he began to fade ’til he was no more than a speck of brightness in the water. I tried to swim after him, but my skirts got caught in the weeds, and I couldn’t break free.
He was gone.
Next I knew, I was up on the bank. I saw a pair of feet, then heard Will saying, ‘Tilly? Can you hear me?’
Blackness.
I sensed I was a bird high up in a tree, looking down on the lake. Somewhere near the middle was a person-sized hole, all dark like a stain. And over on the bank was a girl – me – sprawled lifeless across the grass. Will Potter was crouched beside me, calling and calling my name. Steam rose off my skirts, and my hair, worked loose, lay wet against my face. Suddenly, my whole body jerked into life. I retched water and weeds and goodness knows what all over Will’s boots, and he didn’t so much as flinch. He thumped my back and kept talking, though his face was stricken and pale.
I came back to myself.
Head, legs, arms, everything hurt. I swore I’d been jabbed in the ribs a thousand times. It was agony even to draw breath. My eyelids were stone-heavy. All I wanted was to stay still and sleep. But I grew aware of a tugging at my feet. Rough fabric pressed up against my cheek. I was jolted this way and that. I sensed darkness, then daylight, then dark again. I came to on a strange doorstep, with Will’s arms wrapped tight around me.
A buzzing noise filled my head. Everything started to spin. The darkness came back.
I woke to the sound of voices. I was lying down on a hard surface. My chest was on fire. As I rolled over to cough, a pan was thrust in my face, ready to catch the foul-tasting water as it streamed from my mouth and nose. The room tipped sideways. I reckoned I was about to throw up. I shut my eyes until the tipping stopped. Everything went quiet.
Next thing I heard was a woman’s voice. ‘We’ll be for it if she comes in.’
‘But look at the state of the child. We can’t just fling her back out in the cold,’ said another.
‘Can you get us a ride to the village?’ It was Will, sounding far away.
I tried to focus my eyes but it made my head hurt, and I drifted off again.
‘Quick! Mrs Jessop’s coming!’
The voices were back. This time they sounded sharp and loud. I wondered if I should be scared. But it was too much effort. I slipped back into sleep.
I awoke to hear footsteps. A new voice said harshly, ‘Fell through the ice, did she?’ A hand gripped my shoulder and shook me hard. ‘Is she dead?’
My eyes flew open. A stranger in a dark frock loomed over me. She didn’t look altogether friendly. Then her face turned suddenly pale. Her hand hovered close to my cheek; to slap me or stroke me, I didn’t know which.
‘Take her away at once!’ she said, and was gone.
*
They bundled me out of the door and into the back of a cart. Someone had draped a blanket round my shoulders and I was mighty glad of it since by now I couldn’t stop shaking. Wide awake at last, I felt sick as a dog. And a thought nudged away at me, but I couldn’t for anything work out what it was.
Will sat beside me all the way home. I didn’t have the strength to protest when he put his arms round me. He was warm and quiet, and after a while I got used to it.
When Ma opened our front door, her face was like thunder.
‘Where’ve you been?’ she cried. ‘You’ve been gone hours!’
Then she saw the state of me and her hand flew to her mouth. Will tried to explain what had happened. It didn’t sound good. We were very clearly in the wrong, and I knew I’d be in for a right earful.
‘I’m sorry, Mrs Higgins,’ Will said, and finally let go of me.
My legs gave way before I could get inside.