Back in the courtyard, I noticed a white horse tethered up to the wall. The sight of it lifted my mood. Because it wasn’t just any old nag; this one belonged to the butcher. And right now I quite fancied seeing a friendly face.
‘Hullo? That you, Will?’ I called out, hopefully.
The horse flicked his ears but no one appeared. The yard was deserted. And then it came back to me, how we’d parted company without even a farewell, and I felt low again.
The back door opened just as I reached it. And there was Will. He was smiling from the tail end of something funny. He actually looked quite pleased to see me.
‘Here you are! Cook’s been searching all over for you!’
An odd thing happened to my stomach then. It was only a few days since I’d last seen Will, but he looked different: taller, smarter and, actually, I couldn’t help but admit it, rather handsome. Suddenly, it was hard to meet his eye.
‘What you doing here?’ I said.
‘Some sort of party tonight, apparently. An extra order for us.’
‘Good for you,’ I said, and though I’d wanted to be nice, it came out sounding bitter.
‘Now don’t get tetchy again,’ he said.
I put on my best smile. And it wasn’t that hard, since he was being all cheery and had clearly forgotten to be cross with me.
‘Anyhow, I paid a visit to your ma yesterday,’ he said.
My smile vanished. ‘Why?’
‘We had some chops going spare. Thought it might help. If you like, I can send something else by next week too.’
‘We don’t need no charity,’ I said.
‘Just for a bit, then, ’til you get paid or something.’
I stared at my hands as they gripped the bucket handle so tight the bones showed white through my skin. In truth, I was taken aback by such kindness. I’d not expected it, and I confess I wasn’t sure I deserved it. My nose started tingling, and I feared I might cry.
‘Thank you, that’s good of you,’ I said, eventually.
And I began to wonder if I’d got Will just a little bit wrong. He’d snitched on me, all right, made it my fault that we’d got caught at Kit’s gravestone, so that Mrs Jessop’s eagle eye was never off me for long, even though I worked here now. But perhaps he’d had his reasons. It wasn’t a joy being poor and hungry. I’d not wish that on no one. And I knew about loyalty too. There were times when I’d put my pa first just like Will had done with his.
I took a deep breath. ‘And was Ma all right?’
‘She was hard at the sewing. I didn’t stop long.’
‘Really? Was she?’ The day I’d left, she’d looked so frail and ill, I’d worried she’d never work again. This was glad news indeed!
‘Yep. Said she had enough work to keep her busy for a week.’
I was thrilled to hear it. And before I could stop them, the tears sprang up in my eyes. Will didn’t poke fun or say something smart: he stood quietly until I’d gathered myself, and though I still didn’t trust him completely, I found myself saying, ‘Can you spare me five minutes?’
He shrugged, all easy. ‘If you like.’
In truth, I was that desperate to talk to someone, and Will knew more of this strange business than anyone. On the far side of the yard was a row of empty stables. I put the bucket down and led him to the nearest one.
‘In here.’
I shut the door behind us. The stable was dark and dusty but it hid us from view. Will leaned back against the wall, arms folded like he had all the time in the world.
I took another great breath. ‘You said I’d find things out, working here. And I have. Only I can’t make sense of it all, so maybe you can help.’
‘Try me,’ he said.
‘Kit’s family still in’t right from him dying. His ma wears full mourning and his pa can’t sleep at night.’
‘So they took his death hard. That’s not so strange.’
‘But they keep his room like it was on the day he died. Even the pillow’s still got . . .’ I heard the catch in my voice and stopped.
Will touched my arm. ‘It’s all right. Keep talking.’
‘And there’s the fire too. It’s meant to never go out, only it went out on me, and her Ladyship got into such a state, I swear she turned into a madwoman.’
‘Over a fire?’
‘Honest to God.’
‘Maybe she just misses him. She didn’t have any other children, did she? I’d bet they were mighty close.’
‘That’s probably true,’ I said, thinking of the sketchbook I’d seen last night and all those ‘dear’s and ‘dearest’s written inside it. ‘And this party tonight, well . . .’ I hesitated.
‘Well, what?’
‘It’s a séance. But you in’t s’posed to know that.’
Will gave a low laugh. ‘Oh, my word!’
Now I’d let the secret out, I couldn’t stop. ‘Her Ladyship’s desperate to contact Kit. She’s not had a sign from him, not once in ten years.’
Will chewed on his lip and stayed silent.
‘Say something, then!’ I said.
‘Well, it’s just that . . .’ He looked at me. ‘She’s seen nothing and yet here you are, meeting his ghost in the lake, getting his ring and having these dreams about him.’
I felt myself go red. ‘Yes, I know.’
‘You’ve got to admit it’s strange,’ Will said. ‘I mean, you never knew him nor nothing. So why’s this all happening to you?’
I shrugged.
Because he trusts me? Because for once in my life someone thinks I’m brave and capable?
Not that I expected Will to understand.
He frowned. ‘So. Let me get this straight – is there a ghost here or not?’
‘Yes, there is,’ I said, with a shudder. ‘Lady Barrington might not sense it, but I sure as anything do. And it’s pretty angry at something.’
‘Any idea what?’
‘Not really. But I’ll tell you this, it don’t seem to appear in Kit’s room, and it in’t anything like the boy I dream about.’
‘So why would Kit save your life and then turn angry?’
‘That’s what I need to work out. But I wouldn’t mind betting it’s to do with her Ladyship. I mean, why hasn’t he shown himself to his own mother? It just don’t make sense.’
Will narrowed his eyes like he was sizing me up. I wondered if he’d believed a word I’d said. Then ever so gently, he pushed a lock of loose hair over my shoulder. I flinched like he’d slapped me.
‘What the heck you doing?’
‘You look tired, that’s all.’ He cocked his head to one side. ‘And I’ve got to ask, why are you wearing that ridiculous coat?’
I glanced down at the tatty old greatcoat. True enough, it looked worse than ever next to Will’s smart grey coat and matching cap. I supposed he always looked that dapper on his delivery rounds, but a mean little voice in my head wondered if he was all done up just to impress Dorcas or Gracie.
‘Cook gave it me. I’ve been to get ice,’ I said. And as Will knew so much already, it wouldn’t hurt to tell him. ‘The housekeeper was up there, acting all strange. She told me not to say I’d seen her.’
‘Well, well, well. I wondered when you’d mention her.’
‘I try to keep out of her way, but she’s always watching me.’
‘She’s a strange one, all right,’ said Will. ‘I bet she’s got some secrets up her sleeve.’
‘She in’t all bad,’ I said, but in truth I didn’t know what to believe. ‘Though this séance seems to have rattled her, good and proper. She’s been right against it from the start.’
Will grinned. ‘What I’d give to be listening at the keyhole tonight!’
But I didn’t see much to smile about. The very thought of the séance made my stomach turn. What’s more, I’d be flayed alive if I didn’t get back inside.
‘I’d better go,’ I said.
Before we could say any more, Gracie appeared in the doorway.
‘What you hiding out here for?’ she cried to me. ‘We need you back inside. Dorcas is having kittens!’
Then she saw Will.
‘Oh!’ she flushed. ‘Beg pardon.’
I realised how it must’ve looked – Will and me stood so close that our heads were almost touching. Trust Gracie to get the wrong end of the stick.
I hurried out into the yard to collect my bucket. As I turned to say goodbye to Will, I saw he was talking to Gracie. He’d got back on his horse and she was smiling up at him, twisting a strand of hair around her finger like a simpleton. And I knew the look on Will’s face, all right – all dancing eyes and flashing grin. He often looked at me like that.
‘Gracie!’ I snapped. ‘You coming?’
‘Sorry!’
She scurried over. I slammed the door behind us.
‘He’s smashing, that Will Potter is,’ sighed Gracie, as we made for the kitchens. ‘He in’t your sweetheart, is he?’
I stopped in my tracks. ‘No he flippin’ well is not!’
‘All right, just askin’,’ she said. ‘No need to bite my head off.’
I took a deep breath. ‘Sorry, Gracie. I’m just a bit on edge today.’
What I didn’t say was that seeing her with Will had made me feel a whole lot worse.