PAST
In the hotel room, I dressed quickly, struggling to process what Carolyn had just told me. I couldn’t believe that the man I’d spent six days with—the man I’d just married—could have done something so terrible. But Justine wouldn’t have made it up.
My fingers were shaking so much I could barely zip up my dress. What would Carolyn think when she heard that Ned and I were married? I needed to tell her face-to-face—and in spite of what Ned had said, I would tell her the truth. There was no way I was going to pretend that Ned and I had been in a secret relationship and that I was so in love with him I’d said yes when he proposed. Our deal was off. I didn’t want his money; the thought of it made me sick.
I’d have given anything to be able to say that I hadn’t been thinking straight when Ned had put his proposition to me, that the champagne and wine I’d drunk had clouded my judgment. But I couldn’t lie, not to myself, not to anyone else. I had gone into our arrangement with my eyes wide open, and my head turned at the idea of living a life of luxury for a month. Waves of shame rolled through me. How could I have been so stupid?
And now there was Justine to worry about. Carolyn had said that she wasn’t answering her phone. I suddenly remembered what Ned had said, that she had gone to Paris to interview Ophélie Tessier. Maybe that was why she wasn’t answering Carolyn’s calls. Or had she never gone, after Ned assaulted her? Because if she’d filed a complaint against Ned, why would she continue working for him? On the other hand, why should she give up a job that she loved, or hide herself away, when she had done nothing wrong? And what about Ned? Did he know about the complaint Justine had filed?
A knock at the door made me jump; it would be someone to collect my luggage. My suitcase was still open on the bed, I closed the lid quickly and opened the door.
Ned was standing there.
“Good morning,” he said, then stopped. “Is everything alright? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”
I had to stop myself from backing away from him. “I—I thought we were meeting downstairs,” I stuttered, my heart crashing in my chest.
“It wouldn’t look very good if we arrived in the lobby separately,” Ned said, amused. “Now that we’re married.”
I couldn’t look at him. I moved to the bed, zipped my suitcase shut. I wanted to attack him, tell him that I knew about Justine, shout and scream at him. But Carolyn had said not to mention anything, and I couldn’t make it worse for Justine, so I bit my tongue.
“We need to go,” he said, coming into the room and taking my suitcase from me. “The car is waiting.”
In a trance, I followed him out of the room. We got into the elevator and as it descended to the lobby, I stared at our reflections in the mirrored wall. I recognized Ned but I didn’t recognize the girl standing next to him. It looked like me, but it wasn’t me.