After having the world’s bloodiest nightmare, Ammon awoke with a start. He sat up, trying hard to ignore the painful throbbing in his head. Kohana was crouched in front of him, roasting yet another massive fish. In Ammon’s sleepy haze, he licked his lips and inspected the other man’s hard body. Kohana’s cock brushed against his inner thigh as he roasted the food, and his rock-hard chest glistened in the firelight.
His groin tightening, Ammon shifted uncomfortably, but his arousal was stolen from him when he remembered the horrifying events from yesterday and realized something terrible—the man before him was a bear.
His heart started to pound harder. Even though he knew that Kohana was all that stood between him and imminent death, he had the urge to run as fast as his legs could carry him.
As Ammon fought his desire to flee, Kohana met his eyes. A boyish grin crossed his face.
How could a man so unpretentious be a flesh-eating monster? The sight of Kohana grinning at him in such a way was disarming. Ammon didn’t know whether to see the other man as a fanged beast or as a person overexcited by the fact that he was awake.
“You slept for a long time,” Kohana said. “I was able to find us some breakfast and gather some driftwood so we can make a sign on the beach.”
Ammon stood, and he was surprised by how sore his muscles were. Treading water for eight hours obviously did that to a man. With a groan, he sat in front of the fire.
“The fish should be almost done,” Kohana said. “Once you’ve finished eating, we can go arrange the driftwood on the shore.”
Ammon nodded, examining the substantial catch. He realized that he’d never seen the other man carrying a fishing pole or spear, yet Kohana always managed to bring home large meals. “How did you catch the fish so fast, anyway? I went fishing with my mom once, and we were on the lake all day and didn’t get anything.”
Kohana didn’t respond.
“Uh-oh,” Ammon said.
“What?”
“You didn’t answer right away. I know I’m about to hear something I don’t like when you pause before saying something.”
Kohana removed the sizzling fish from the flames. “Well, let’s just say that I caught the fish using unorthodox methods.”
“How?” Ammon hated how evasive Kohana was being.
“I caught the fish the same way all bears catch fish.” Kohana rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I stuck my face in the water and pulled it out with my mouth.”
Ammon lost all feeling in his limbs at the thought of a beastly Kohana with his face in the river’s current. “Oh.”
“Are you okay?”
No, I’m not okay! he wanted to scream. You fished breakfast out of the stream with your mouth. Still, he knew that screaming wasn’t the best way to begin a day, so he held back.
“One second,” he said, needing a moment to regain his composure.
“But—”
“One second,” he repeated, desperate for a moment alone with his thoughts.
He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm down. It really isn’t a big deal that Kohana caught the fish with his mouth. He had to get breakfast for you somehow. But Ammon hated picturing Kohana as anything but a man. He gritted his teeth, battling away all thoughts of the other man as a large beast.
Finally, some of his angst ebbed away, and he opened his eyes. “I’m fine now.”
Well, sort of. He still had the strongest urge to leap off a cliff.
“You don’t have to eat the fish if it makes you uncomfortable.” Kohana glanced at the meal he’d procured. “I could try to find us some bananas or potatoes on the way to the beach.”
“No, the fish is fine,” Ammon lied.
Eyeballing him warily, Kohana placed the fish on a flat rock and offered it to him. He hesitated before taking the rock and picking at the piece of meat with his fingers. He put a bite of fish in his mouth and forced himself to swallow, even though he felt as though he was trying to eat a slimy slug. As he continued to force down food for the sake of his health, he had to fight down the urge to throw up.
“Sooner or later, you’ll accept what I am, you know,” Kohana said. “Harry did.”
“It’s going to take time.” Grimacing, he gazed down at the half-eaten fish. “A long time.”
Kohana nodded. “And I’ll wait until then.”
The awkward silence returned, and Ammon felt as though there was a massive wall between them that hadn’t been there before.
* * * *
Ammon placed the final piece of driftwood on the shore, arranging it so it made the curve of the letter S. He returned to Kohana, who was standing with his feet in the ocean, and examined his handiwork. Please let somebody see this. I don’t know how long I’ll survive on this island. Ammon took a deep breath as he examined the logs and said a silent prayer that a search-and-rescue team would come save him. That way, he could flee this place and never come back.
“Do you think this will be noticeable from the sky?” Ammon glanced upward, hoping to see a plane soaring through the clouds.
“I’d imagine so, but Matwau isn’t going to be happy. We may have to keep arranging the driftwood, because I have a feeling he’s going to remove the sign.”
“He’ll mess up our work?”
“I’m afraid so.” Kohana nodded. “He doesn’t want anyone to come save you. If people come, they’ll wonder why there’s an uncharted island here.”
Good point. People would wonder why Walking Bear Island wasn’t on any maps. After all, everything these days was charted.
“I know what you mean.” Ammon glanced into the trees, wondering if the others were planning to mess up their handiwork as he spoke.
Kohana followed his gaze. “We should probably go.”
“Why? Do you think the others are nearby?” Shit. He’d thought as much.
“No, but I don’t like the idea of staying out in the open for too long. The others can see us from the hilltops.” Kohana pointed at a distant hill that overlooked the beach. “And I know a place not too far from here where we can stay the night. There will be fresh water, and you’ll be able to bathe as well.”
“Bathe?” Even despite his terror, the idea of bathing perked his interest. Salt water had made his clothes and skin sticky, causing chafing. Cleansing away the salt would give him relief.
“Yeah, there’s a natural spring. It’s quite large.”
Ammon trailed after Kohana. “Sounds intriguing.”
“This spring is one of my favorite places. It’s secluded. I was always left alone when I was there.”
“So it’s your private hideaway?”
“I suppose you could call it that, yes.” Kohana pushed aside a branch. “You know, I’ve never brought anybody to the spring before.”
“Not even Harry?” It sounded as though Harry had been a huge part of Kohana’s life, so Ammon was surprised.
“Not even Harry.”
Ammon fell silent, confused by the emotions that surged through him. Part of him was pleased that he was being given access to Kohana’s secret world, yet the sight of the other man still filled him with unease.
These thoughts consumed Ammon until they arrived at a large spring so beautiful that he stopped in his tracks when he saw it. The water was a dazzling turquoise. A large waterfall sent a stream of water flowing into the spring. Colorful exotic birds twittered excitedly and flitted from palm tree to palm tree. This place was a true paradise. If he weren’t being hunted by bears, Ammon might have thought he’d died and gone to heaven.
Kohana studied his face, probably gauging his reaction. “Do you like it?”
“It’s gorgeous.”
Kohana held his gaze. “Then you should go for a swim.”
Ammon nodded. “I’d like that. I need to get cleaned up.”
“Good. Because I’m going in right now.” Kohana gave a boyish laugh before taking a massive leap into the water.
The water rippled where Kohana had plunged into the spring. A moment later, the man resurfaced, his long black hair dripping.
This is the man who’s supposed to be protecting me from danger? He’s so innocent. Ammon stared, taken away by the fact that Kohana could still laugh in the face of such a messed-up situation. Then again, he guessed that it wasn’t Kohana whose life was at stake. It was his.
Kohana slapped the surface of the water with his hand. “Come in.”
Ammon hesitated. Yes, he was excited by the idea of bathing, but he hadn’t expected such a sudden submersion. He’d thought they’d set up camp, prepare lunch, maybe get comfortable first. But nope, Kohana was all about the run and jump. For a moment, Ammon considered staying out of the spring, but then he realized that there was no point in hovering at the water’s edge. He could either wallow in his I-might-die-today depression, or he could try to fight the melancholy and do his best to take his mind off his fears.
Right now, he chose to take his mind off his fears.
Before he could change his mind, Ammon yanked his T-shirt over his head and stripped off his jeans. He stood naked before Kohana, well aware that the other man’s eyes swept his body with definite interest. Normally, Ammon would have been proud of his form. His muscles were hard and lean from long days of working at a construction site, and he’d always been the big man in the locker room when it came to his dick. But while Ammon had large muscles and a substantial shaft, Kohana was even bigger, and his cock was as impressive as his mountainous body. On top of that, he didn’t have burns on his hands or a bruise the size of Canada on his chest.
Kohana cleared his throat. “Are you coming in?”
Realizing that he was standing at the edge of the water like a moron, Ammon shook his head to clear it and then leapt into the clear spring. The water was warm when his body made impact. As he delved beneath the surface, he tasted the fresh spring water. When he came back up, he breathed a sigh of relief. This felt so good. The salt was washing away, and the warm water helped ease the throbbing of his sore muscles.
As he floated on his back, Kohana surprised him by swimming toward the edge.
“Are you done already?” Ammon had hoped to stay in the spring a while longer.
“No, I’m not.” Kohana gave him a wolfish grin. “Just watch.”
The other man began to scale the cliff that led to the top of the waterfall. Even though Ammon was in the middle of a warm spring, his whole body went cold. Was Kohana crazy?
“What the hell are you doing?” Ammon watched him climb thirty feet up, then forty. “You’re going to get yourself killed.”
“A fall like this won’t kill me,” Kohana said.
Despite Kohana’s words, Ammon was surprised how concerned he was for the other man. And he wasn’t concerned because Kohana was all that stood between him and death at the hands of Matwau. No, he was concerned because he didn’t want the other man to be hurt. Maybe he still trusted Kohana after all, even though he now knew what the man was.
“Please be careful,” Ammon said.
After giving a grunt of affirmation, Kohana climbed up the remaining ten feet. The naked man stood on the cliff right beside the waterfall, his long dark hair blowing in the wind. Despite Ammon’s concerns about Kohana’s safety, he thought that the other man was a glorious sight. The sunlight reflected off Kohana’s muscles. His cock was partially erect. A big grin covered his face. Ammon’s heart did something then that it never should have done for any man, let alone for a freaky bear shifter—it flipped. Even he knew what that meant.
Fuck. I’m gay.
What a discovery to make now. Couldn’t God have saved that massive bomb for when he got off the island?
As he struggled with these thoughts, Kohana took a step toward the edge and peered down the two-hundred-foot drop. The sight of him standing so close to the ledge stole away Ammon’s woes about his latest discovery. He stared up at the other man, picturing him falling to his death like Piggy in Lord of the Flies.
“Don’t come so close to the ledge,” he yelled.
Instead of heeding his request, Kohana let out a bark of laughter and jumped. The man toppled downward and landed with a massive splash three feet from Ammon.
The water doused his eyes and got up his nose. Ammon sputtered as he contemplated wringing Kohana’s neck. He’d just had a terrifying, life-altering discovery, and then the other man had to scare him double time by leaping off the ledge.
Ammon treaded water, waiting for Kohana to resurface.
But he didn’t.
What’s taking him so long?
Ammon stared at the water. Awful imaginings filled his head, as they often did whenever he was scared or anxious. He pictured Kohana landing in the water and then whacking his skull on an unseen reef below. Or maybe he managed to get his foot jammed under a rock and couldn’t resurface. Man or beast, Ammon had to rescue him.
Sucking in air, Ammon dived below the surface, trying to ignore the burning of his chest from the momentous effort it took for him to swim downward. He kept his eyes open and spotted Kohana at once. The man was several feet away, hovering between the sandy earth below and the water’s surface. Ammon swam toward him and grabbed his arm.
Kohana’s eyes opened, and a grin covered his face. The man was fine.
“You ass,” Ammon mouthed, bubbles coming from his open lips.
The guy’s grin widened, and air bubbles flowed from his nostrils. Kohana pointed upward at the surface of the water, and Ammon nodded. His lungs were already screaming for air, and besides, yelling at Kohana would be much more effective when his voice could actually be heard. He started to swim upward. The moment he resurfaced, he sucked in warm air, trying to catch his breath. Kohana appeared beside him.
The moment Ammon had recovered enough to get his temper back, he focused on the other man, furious at him for scaring him. But one look at Kohana’s grinning face stole some of his fury, and he remained quiet. Yet in his silence, all the problems floated to the surface of his mind once more.
I just learned that I’m gay.
I’ve been through a plane crash that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I discovered the existence of bear shifters with scary amounts of power.
Those bear shifters want to rip me apart, limb from limb.
The weight of all of the stress was crushing, and yet instead of crying, all that came out of his mouth was a strange, hysterical laugh.
At first Kohana gawked at him, but soon, the man’s laughter joined his own. Before he knew it, the two of them were draped all over one another. At first, Ammon was confused about this sudden onset of hysterical laughter. But at that moment, he realized that he wasn’t really laughing at all. And neither was Kohana.
* * * *
That night, Ammon awoke from a sound sleep after having yet another nightmare. This time, he couldn’t remember the details of the dream that had caused him to wake up with his heart pounding, but he had a feeling that his nightmare had something to do with scary flesh-eating beasts and planes crashing into the ocean.
He took a deep breath and tried to sit up, but he felt like there was a weight holding him down. For the first time, he realized that Kohana had his arms wrapped tightly around him. The man’s hard cock was once again digging into his back, catching his immediate attention. Ammon shivered as blood flowed straight into his own dick. That was unfortunate, considering the fact that he didn’t want his body to react to Kohana at all.
His cock only hardened further as he felt Kohana’s soft breath tickle his ear. Desire made his body tense as the other man’s hard rod nudged his ass crack. Shit. He longed to wander away and clear his thoughts, but he’d learned his lesson about straying from Kohana the hard way. The only thing worse than having an uncontrollable erection was being devoured by a monster.
Groaning, Ammon fondled his dick. Maybe I should finish myself off. I won’t be able to sleep like this. And who knows? I may die tomorrow. He glanced guiltily at the arm draped around his waist. No, he shouldn’t jack off. Doing such a thing now was the height of perversion.
And yet he knew that there was no way he’d be able to sleep while so aroused, not even if he managed to escape Kohana’s grip.
Shit, shit, shit.
His thoughts did battle. On the one hand, Kohana was snoring, so the guy wouldn’t notice if he jacked off beside him. On the other, he would know, and it would make looking the other man in the eye the next morning even more difficult than it was already. No, he definitely shouldn’t do it.
He.
Should.
Not.
Do.
It.
Then why was he stroking his cock?
Ammon took a shaky breath as his arousal overwhelmed him. You should stop, he told himself.
Kohana chose that moment to groan in his ear. Never before had the sound of another man’s voice filled him with such desire, such longing. Even Kohana’s sleepy grunts were deep and sexy and so very different from the high-pitched mewls that he was used to hearing from women. A shiver ran down his spine, and he realized that Kohana would keep making sounds like that all night long. The thought only excited him further.
Disgusted with himself but unable to stop, Ammon tightened his hold on his dick instead of releasing it. Despite how his mind screamed that what he was doing was wrong, his body enjoyed the exhibitionism, and he stroked his cock harder. Every time he touched himself, heavy breaths escaped his lips.
As his pleasure built, he had to fight back moans. He squeezed his eyes shut, imagining Kohana kissing him and filling his mouth with his tongue. And then his mind went one step further. He thought of the way it would feel if Kohana stroked his dick, driving him closer and closer to finishing. The thought was enough to cause his balls to pulse. He arched his back as his cock throbbed and his seed spilled all over the ground.
At first his mind was blank, and all he knew was oh-my-God-I-just-came euphoria. Unfortunately, that euphoria was soon thrown to the ground, lit on fire, and then tossed into the bottom of the ocean to die. Now that his cock was flaccid, he came to terms with what he’d done. He’d just imagined Kohana while masturbating. Maybe the other man would be aroused by his actions, but he might be disgusted instead.
Ashamed of himself, Ammon pried Kohana’s fingers from his hip and moved away from him. But even the distance didn’t ease his shame.
I knew I shouldn’t have done it. He shook his head in self-disgust. Masturbating had been like eating a pound of bacon. It sounded like a good idea until after he’d finished and was sick to his stomach.
He dug his nails in his thighs and decided he would try to have more self-control from now on. After all, he refused to live his days thinking with only his penis.