Since Ammon had been rescued by an American team, he was taken to the Southwest General Hospital in San Antonio after receiving treatment for his burns in Berlin. His ankles still ached, but now that he was no longer being prodded by doctors and nurses, he breathed a sigh of relief. After all, he didn’t have to worry about pissed-off bears trying to eat him anymore. But as glad as he was to be alive and safe, he felt off. Out of sync. Depressed.
And most of all, lonely.
He’d spent the entire time on the island superglued to Kohana’s side, and now the other man was gone. It was strange how he could become so attached to somebody he’d known for such a short amount of time. Somehow Kohana had stolen his heart with his boyish mannerisms, and now, Ammon wasn’t sure how to get the other man out of his mind.
I wonder what Kohana is doing now. Ammon stared at the starched white bedspread. Eating fish, probably. Or diving into some pool, bare-assed. Grabbing the thin blankets and twisting them in his hands, he wondered whether Kohana missed him. The thought only made his loneliness escalate. Shit. He was stewing in his own misery. Since he couldn’t talk to Kohana, he needed to speak to someone—anyone—else.
“Mor,” he said to himself. “I need to talk to my mor.”
He’d been in and out of consciousness until an hour ago, so he hadn’t had the chance to call her yet. After he’d first woken up, his thoughts had been on food—he was starving, even while groggy—and then on Kohana. His parent had to have known that he was alive, but she deserved a phone call from him anyway.
He rolled over in bed and reached for the phone at his bedside. It took him a moment to remember his mom’s cell phone number, not because he didn’t call her often, but because he’d stored all his important numbers on his cell.
His mom answered halfway through the second ring. “Hello.”
Even though he was a full-grown man, the sound of his mom’s voice made the tension in his shoulders dissipate. It was like he’d been submerged in a warm bath.
“Mor, it’s me,” he said, tightening his grip on the phone. He couldn’t believe how happy he was to talk to her.
His mom burst into noisy tears. “Oh, yndling. You have no idea what I’ve been through. I’ve been a nervous wreck. I thought you were dead. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. I almost fainted from relief when the authorities called to tell me that you were alright.”
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.” He would rather fall down a flight of stairs and break both legs than hear his mom weep.
“I’m sorry.” His mom let out another sob. “I’m just so glad that you’re alive.”
“I know.”
“How are you holding up?” Her voice trembled when she said the word hospital.
“I’m okay.” His ankles still pained him, but he didn’t have the heart to tell her that. She was already in hysterics. “I just have a few cuts and bruises. I’ll be back to normal in no time.”
“That isn’t what I was told on the phone.”
Damn the people his mom had talked to. They shouldn’t have made her worry. “They were just exaggerating. I’m fine. Don’t I sound fine?”
Intense pain impaled his heart as Kohana’s face appeared in his mind yet again. Well, he was mostly fine, anyway... His heart could have been better.
“I guess you sound okay,” she said. “But there’s something off about your voice.”
“I was in a fire. I inhaled a lot of smoke, and my voice has been hoarse ever since. That’s probably what you’re noticing.”
“A fire,” she said, sounding close to fainting.
“It was a small fire,” he said quickly, realizing that he’d made a huge mistake. “Nothing to worry about. Don’t fret, Mor.
His mom hiccupped, likely because she’d been crying. “A plane crash, then a fire. How awful.”
I don’t even want to know what she’d say if she learned that monsters were trying to kill me. “Yeah, but I survived. That’s all that matters.”
“That’s all that matters,” she echoed. “But still, I wouldn’t say that you sound hoarse.”
“No?”
“No, you sound sad.”
For the second time, he thought of Kohana. Yeah, he was sad, all right. He groaned before he could stifle it, instantly sending his mom into bouncing-off-the-walls crazy mode.
“So I was right. You are sad. I knew you had to be suffering,” she said. “You have PTSD, don’t you? Jarl said it was bound to happen after what you’ve been through.”
“PTSD?” Well, he had been secretly hyperventilating the whole plane ride home, because he kept imagining the helicopter crashing into the ocean. “I guess.”
But losing Kohana was a lot worse than reliving his bad memories.
“It’s a good thing I’m coming to San Antonio right away. You need me now.”
“You’re coming here?” He guessed he shouldn’t have been surprised. “But what about Jarl? And your marriage?”
“Do you honestly think I could still get married after I heard your plane crashed?” She made a loud honking sound, and he realized that she was blowing her noise. “Of course not.”
“But I’m okay now. You were so excited about getting married. You should still do it.”
“I will, but after I make sure you’re okay,” she said. “Jarl and I already agreed on waiting a while longer. He said that you’re my son and you need me. We’ll postpone the wedding until you’re one-hundred-percent healthy again.”
Though he’d never met him, Ammon found himself respecting this Jarl guy more and more. “Jarl sounds like quite a man, Mor. I’m sorry about messing up everything. Right now, you were supposed to be on your honeymoon.”
“Don’t you dare apologize,” she said. “If anyone is to blame for causing this mess, it’s me.”
“What?” How could his mom blame herself? It wasn’t like she’d broken the airplane.
“It was my fault that you were in that crash.” For the second time, his mom’s voice broke. “If it wasn’t for my wedding, you wouldn’t have boarded the plane.”
“Don’t think like that. You didn’t know that the plane was going to crash.”
“I guess.” She sniffled loudly.
A nurse bustled in, carrying a tray of medicine. Ammon met the woman’s eyes and winced.
“Mor, I think I should go. I have to take some pills.”
“Alright, yndling. I think it’s for the best that I hang up anyway,” his mom said. “I already booked an emergency flight to San Antonio. You called right when I was about to drive down to the airport. I should be at the hospital soon. And once Jarl gets a few things tied up here, he’ll follow me.”
Ammon suddenly remembered the way it had felt when the plane went plummeting straight into the ocean. The memory caused him to dig his fingernails into his leg so hard that he flinched.
“Are you really okay with flying?” God, now he sounded like a worrywart. “Now that I think about it, it might be better if you stay off of airplanes.”
“Even the Devil himself couldn’t keep me away,” his mom said. “I don’t care if my plane does crash. I’ll swim across the entire ocean to reach you.”
Considering how adamant his mom sounded, he had no doubt that she would.
“Okay, just be safe,” he said. “Wear your seatbelt the whole time, even when you don’t have to.”
“I will.”
“And call me as soon as you land.”
“I’ll do that too. Now take your pills.”
Nodding, Ammon met the eyes of the nurse who looked as though her patience was fading. “I will. I love you.”
“I love you too. See you soon.”
His mom ended the call.
He sighed and took the pills the nurse handed him. After giving him a brief checkup, the woman shot him an encouraging smile and left the room.
Alone again, Ammon thought, looking around.
Alone and hating it.
* * * *
A busty blonde carrying a notepad marched through the door. Since he’d never seen the woman in his life, he sat up straighter, wondering why he had a strange visitor. The woman headed toward him and held out her hand. He shook it, noting that she had a strong grip.
“My name is Emily Bealson,” the woman said. “I’m with the CIA. I was sent here to investigate what happened on flight 1727. Do you have a moment to talk to me?”
“As you can see, I’m overwhelmed by commitments,” he said sarcastically, motioning at the empty hospital room.
The woman gave him a deadpan stare. He wondered whether working in the government had killed her sense of humor.
“Ahem.” He cleared his throat, then rubbed his throbbing ankle. “I mean, yes, I have a moment.”
Emily took a seat in the cushy chair beside his bed. “Can you tell me what happened on the plane?”
“I boarded the plane in San Antonio. About halfway through the flight, we experienced some turbulence...”
Though he’d intended to continue, he was stopped by a painful flashback.
He heard a strange whirling sound as the plane dropped a foot. The blonde woman at his side shocked him by grabbing his arm and squealing. She released him at once and gave an embarrassed smile.
“Sorry about that,” she said. “Plane rides terrify me.”
“It was just a little turbulence.” Though why they were experiencing turbulence when there were no clouds was beyond him. “You don’t need to worry about a few bounces.”
Dead. The woman was dead.
In agony, Ammon grabbed his chest.
“And then?” Emily probed, her sharp blue eyes softening a little when she saw his troubled expression.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how hard it would be talking about this. Since I was so focused on staying alive when I was on the island, I didn’t have much time to dwell on the crash and what happened to the other people. But now...” Now the empty hospital room left him with too much time to contemplate the past. “Sorry. You didn’t come to hear about my woes. You wanted to hear about the plane.”
“Don’t worry about it. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. You must be suffering a lot.”
He forced a smile. “I’ll survive.”
“I think you will. You’re a fighter. If you weren’t, then you wouldn’t be here.”
No, if it hadn’t been for Kohana, he wouldn’t be here. But he didn’t say that.
“Anyway, as I was saying before, we experienced turbulence.” He clenched his fists. “At first, I thought everything was normal. I even comforted the woman next to me.”
The poor terrified woman who died.
Emily jotted down a few notes. “Uh-huh.”
“Then I smelled fire and realized that something was wrong.” A vein throbbed in his jaw at the thought of the memory. “After that, the plane went down.”
Ammon’s shoulders tensed as if he was bracing himself for impact all over again. He could remember everything about the crash. God, looking back on it now, it truly was a miracle that he had survived.
Nodding soberly, Emily jotted down a few more notes. “I see. And then you swam to the island, is that correct?”
“Yes.”
“Can you tell me a little more about what you experienced there?”
Uh-oh. “On the island?”
“Yes.”
Ammon hesitated. Kohana had asked him not to say anything about the bears, and he didn’t want to break his promise.
Emily raised an eyebrow as she waited for his answer.
“An island is an island. What else is there to say?” he said. “There was nothing there but sand and a few wild animals.”
“How did you spend your days there?”
Running for my life.
He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “I camped out near a river and ate bananas. It wasn’t all that exciting. I just waited around for help to arrive.”
“Nothing attacked you?”
Attacked? Oh God. Did she know something?
“No,” he lied, trying to keep his voice steady.
“The doctor told me that there’s a bite wound on your right shoulder,” Emily said. “How do you explain that?”
Shit. He’d forgotten about the bite. Of course the doctor knew it wasn’t a regular cut. The fang marks were obvious.
“Now that I think about it, there were wild dogs on the island. One bit me. I forgot all about it.” If she believed that, he’d chop off his own foot and eat it.
“You forgot that a dog bit you?” Like he expected, Emily sounded skeptical.
He nodded, fighting to keep the strain from showing on his face.
Both of them stared at each other. A nervous bead of sweat ran down his forehead.
She held his gaze for a moment longer. “All right then,” she finally said.
Something was off. Ammon studied her, unsure of himself, and then realization struck. Kohana had said that the government knew about Walking Bear Island. If Emily was a member of the CIA, then that meant that she probably knew all about the shifters. She wasn’t here to investigate the crash. She was here to make sure that he didn’t say anything about the supernatural beings that dwelled on the island.
God help him.
“You know what inhabits the island, don’t you?” he said.
The woman hesitated before giving a small nod. She tightened her grip on her notepad. “If anyone asks, you’ll tell them that all you saw were dogs, right?”
He heard the warning in her voice and realized that if he told anybody what he’d seen, he would have more to fear in the civilized world than on Walking Bear Island. The government would be out to get him. “Trust me, lady, the only thing I’ll tell anyone about the island is that there’s nothing there but sand and few wild pigs.”
“Then we shouldn’t have any problems, Mr. Schmidt,” Emily said, sounding a lot more relaxed now that she knew that he wasn’t about to go running around talking about the bear shifters to anyone who’d listen.
“No, we shouldn’t.”
“Good. Now I just hope that things will remain quiet on the island while our team cleans up the plane wreckage.”
“So there are still people on Walking Bear Island?”
“For the moment, yes.”
“I see.” Ammon remembered the hell he’d undergone while on the island and felt instant concern. “Tell your people to be cautious if they happen to stray from the shore.”
“Believe me, they know about the dangers involved.” She nodded and stood. “Well, that’s all the questions I have for you today. Thank you for your cooperation. I wish you a speedy recovery.”
“Thank you.”
The woman took a step toward the door, then paused. “By the way, Mr. Schmidt...”
“Yeah?”
She placed her hand on the doorknob. “There are going to be a lot of reporters who want to hear about what happened to you. If you talk to them, I would try to make your dog story sound a bit more convincing.”
“Gotcha.”
After one last nod, Emily left the room.
Ammon stared after her for a moment and then thought, The CIA has been keeping bear shifters a secret? What else are they hiding? He shivered and decided that there were some things that a man was better off not knowing.
* * * *
In the middle of the night, Ammon felt somebody tickling his cheek. Kohana’s face filled his mind, and he imagined the man’s warm touch. He smiled. Kohana had to be the one touching him. After all, who else would be at his side in the middle of the night?
“Kohana,” he said, sitting up.
Only when he sat up, he saw no one. He remembered that he was in Texas and Kohana was far, far away. His stomach sank so low he was surprised it didn’t reach China.
A dream. It had only been a dream.
He sighed, realizing that he was going to have a harder time getting Kohana out of his mind than he thought. The man was like a ghost that was still alive. He haunted Ammon’s thoughts, his dreams, and his memories.
Frustrated, Ammon pulled his blankets up to his chin and curled up on his side. “For God’s sake, man. You weren’t with Kohana that long. And you only slept together once. Once.”
Despite the fact that he tried to shake thoughts of Kohana from his mind, he failed. He couldn’t get over the other man so easily. And as he lay curled up on his side, he wondered whether he’d ever be able to.