Happy Families

Chapter 41

VANESSA

VANESSA WOKE EARLY the next morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. She touched her lump – she always did when she woke in the hope that it might somehow have disappeared – before swinging her legs over the side of the bed and padding to the window in her slippers. Brian’s van was parked in the driveway as clear as day; Bingo was curled up at Sunshine’s feet.

She hadn’t been able to resist slipping on her jeans and sneaking out into the crisp cool spring dawn air to knock gently on the van door. It was so lovely to nestle into Brian’s arms and feel his warm breath on her. Was this what teenagers felt when they sneaked off to be with their boyfriends? Was this how Brigid had felt? Convinced that she was in love and that no one else, least of all her mother, could understand?

It was so lovely having Brian here even though they’d agreed to spend some time apart! In a way it scared her. She’d managed alone for so long, before him, that she’d got used to her own company. Rather enjoyed it really. She could go to bed when she liked; eat what she wanted; watch television if she chose to and switch it off without having to consult someone else.

But then, in the space of a few months, two of the most important people in her life had come along, just like that. And then, in a cruel twist, she’d had to choose between them. It was like a weird fairy tale except that until Brian had turned up last night (wearing the navy blue jumper she’d given him to replace his maroon disaster), she hadn’t thought there’d be a happy ending.

And now here she was, lying in Brian’s arms in his little white van, which had some strangely feminine touches about it, like that china teapot with the rose pattern. His wife’s perhaps, bless her soul. The strange thing was that she had this weird feeling Mavis might approve.

‘I shouldn’t really be here,’ she whispered even though no one could hear them. ‘What if Sunshine wakes up?’

Brian held her to him, stroking the back of her shoulders in the way that always made her melt. ‘She’s got Bingo and besides, it’s not as though you’ve been here all night.’

But responsible grandmothers didn’t play hookey. Not when there was so much at stake.

‘I must go now,’ she said reluctantly, disentangling herself from Brian’s warm body. ‘But you will come in for breakfast, won’t you, later on? With the others?’

Brian ran a hand ruefully round his chin, which already needed shaving. She loved the fact that he was one of those men whose growth started every evening and which, if he didn’t tame it, made him look like Russell Crowe in a day or so. ‘I’d like to, but only if you don’t mind me using your bathroom.’

But before she could reply, Brian’s mouth came down on hers. Every time he kissed her like this, she felt as though she had never been kissed before. Why had no one told her it could be like this? And how horribly, horribly ironic that she wasn’t allowed to have both him and Sunshine.

‘There’s something I need to tell you,’ he said afterwards.

Her heart fluttered.

‘It’s about Andy’s wife. That glamorous blonde. I’ve seen her before. A few times.’

Vanessa hadn’t been expecting this. ‘Where?’

‘At Ascot. Goodwood too. Had quite a reputation, she did.’

He was avoiding her eyes. ‘What for, Brian?’

‘Drinking too much.’ He sighed. ‘And for being rather close, shall we say, to men. Different men. Every time.’ He was looking upset now. ‘I didn’t know whether to say anything to you.’

Vanessa thought quickly. ‘Have you told anyone else?’

He shook his head.

She touched his lips with her finger. ‘Let’s keep it that way, shall we?’

He nodded, understanding immediately. Pamela Gooding had a husband and two daughters. Neither of them would want to be responsible for destroying a family by blowing the whistle. Besides, maybe the woman had put all that behind her. Vanessa could only hope so. Her husband seemed a nice man and the girls, good kids.

Brian was holding the van door open for her now, giving a little wolf whistle as she made her way across the dewy garden towards the house. The rain had stopped now although the garden was littered with branches as proof of the deluge the night before. Turning round, Vanessa gave Brian a little wave; turning back again, she bumped straight into someone. ‘Gosh! Sorry! I didn’t see you.’

It was Mr Perfect. ‘Been for an early walk, have you?’ His eyes went from Brian’s van to her and then back to the van again.

‘Just a quick one.’ She flushed again, regretting her choice of words. ‘I couldn’t sleep.’

‘Really?’ His eyes narrowed, looking her up and down, as if he knew she was naked under her jeans. ‘I always get up at this time. You can get so much done before the children are awake.’

Like spying on other people, she thought, bidding him goodbye before returning to the house. She’d never really liked that man.

Oh my God. Mr Perfect! Was he the one who had reported them at the fête? And now he’d seen her leave Brian’s van. How stupid had she been!

Vanessa slid nervously back into bed next to Sunshine. Bingo raised his head as if to say ‘Back, are you?’ and then snuggled back down on the duvet. Closing her eyes, Vanessa drifted into an uneasy sleep in which Mr Perfect was hammering on her door, demanding to see her.

Heavens. It really was someone.

‘It’s me, Matthew,’ called out a voice. ‘May I ask you something?’

Was it already eight o’clock? Sunshine, who had usually woken by now, was still fast asleep, flute in one hand and the other wrapped around Bingo who had somehow managed to sneak right up on to the pillow like a human. Opening the door, she found a furrowed-browed Matthew with a rather pale-faced Lottie standing next to him. Matthew always looked worried. It was understandable, given that his wife had died of cancer. Every lump, every twinge could be the sign of something. Or nothing. Vanessa knew that all too well.

‘I’m really sorry to bother you but Lottie isn’t well. You’ve got more experience than me; well, than most of us. Do you mind taking a look?’

Gently, Vanessa got down on her knees so she was the same height as this pretty little girl. ‘What’s wrong, sweetheart?’

The child made an exaggerated face. ‘I’ve got a tummy ache.’

Sunshine was beginning to get a few of those. Usually when she didn’t want to do something. Brigid had been the same. Still, you never knew. ‘Whereabouts is the pain?’

‘Here.’ Lottie touched the middle.

‘Probably not your appendix then,’ said Vanessa reassuringly.

Lottie twisted her face again. ‘It’s here too.’ She touched the left. ‘And sometimes here.’ She touched the right.

Was that so? Lottie had a reputation for making up stories. Hadn’t Matthew often said that you could never quite believe what she said? ‘Is she upset about something?’ asked Vanessa quietly, getting up again and feeling her knees creak.

‘She doesn’t want to go home.’ Matthew gave her a what-do-I-do? look. ‘She’s really enjoyed being with all the other kids; it’s pretty lonely for her in the holidays, even though we’ve got a lovely neighbour who looks after her.’

‘Then she must come over and play with us.’

‘That would be lovely. Thanks.’

But even as she spoke, Vanessa remembered with a jolt that she might not have Sunshine much longer herself. Not if social services got their way.

‘Why can’t I wear shorts?’ Sunshine glared at her.

‘Because it’s cold.’

‘But the sun is shining!’

She was getting used to these arguments. In a way, they showed that her granddaughter was really getting used to her new life. It was more natural, surely, than her almost-too-polite behaviour when she’d first arrived.

Even so, they were going to be late for breakfast. Vanessa tried to remember some advice from the group about the I-don’t-want-to-wear-that battle. Give them a choice, Judith Davies had chirped. OK. ‘You can wear shorts and get a chill or wear jeans and not get a chill.’

Sunshine pouted. ‘You can’t get a cold just from being cold. Daisy says so.’

Vanessa’s mouth twitched. She’d much rather have a child like this than a boring one. Maybe that had been her problem with Brigid. Instead of admiring her daughter’s ability to speak her mind, she’d seen it as a stumbling block. Well, she wouldn’t make the same mistake this time round. Provided, that was, she was allowed to keep Sunshine.

Oh God. The thought of life without her granddaughter was unbearable. How she’d like to tell Mr Perfect exactly what she thought of him! If, indeed, it was him. Vanessa looked around for Brian, seeking reassurance. He was sitting at the far end of the huge refectory table, next to Camilla; both were bent over the Racing Post. Briefly he looked up to give her a wink, before returning to the paper. ‘If I were you,’ she heard him saying, ‘I’d go both ways on the 3.40. Upper Cut. A real cert.’

‘I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, Mr Hughes,’ Camilla was saying in that clear-clipped authoritative tone of hers. ‘I’m not a serious gambler. Not like my dear late husband. But I do like to have a little flutter now and again.’

‘Vanessa!’ A sharp voice cut in. ‘I’ve been meaning to have a proper word with you.’

It was Audrey, wearing her trademark low-cut top. ‘I’ve been thinking about your Brigid, ever since the school fête, when you brought along that picture of her.’ Audrey’s voice had an edge to it, suggesting she had something else on her agenda. ‘You said she was abroad, I believe?’

Sunshine looked up from her toast. ‘She’s in a place called Go Er.’

Why did children always listen when they shouldn’t? And not listen when they should?

‘Really?’ The woman drew up a chair. ‘My son – the one who was in her crowd at school – was very sweet on her, you know. In fact, she broke my Mark’s heart.’

Where was this going? ‘I’m sorry but I can’t be responsible for that.’

‘I’m not saying that you can but you might like to mention to Brigid that we met. Prick her conscience, perhaps.’

Vanessa glanced nervously down the table, concerned Sunshine was listening, but she was chattering now to the child on her left. ‘I’m afraid we don’t talk much at the moment.’

Audrey shrugged. ‘My son’s never really got over her, to be honest. Still, it’s part of life, I suppose. Watching your children suffer and knowing you can’t do anything for them.’

Vanessa’s heart lurched. That was true enough. Those words were pretty heartfelt. Maybe the two of them had more in common than she’d realised.

‘Just one more thing.’ Audrey was staring rather fiercely at her now. ‘I did hear through the grapevine that you might not be allowed to keep Sunshine with you any more.’

What! ‘Keep your voice down,’ Vanessa hissed. Dragging the woman by the hand, she took her into the conservatory. ‘What exactly do you mean?’

The redhead looked a bit nervous now. ‘It’s nothing really. Just a whisper. Someone said that social workers got involved after Sunshine nearly got run over. There was something too about you having a boyfriend.’

‘So it was you! It was you who reported us!’

‘Don’t be daft!’ The woman stepped back, readjusting her top. ‘Why don’t you ask Bobbie? She seems to know rather a lot around here, if you ask me.’

What did she mean by that? Shaking, Vanessa went back to her room to pack. It was enough to stop you trusting anyone. Everyone seemed a suspect now. Friends from class. Bobbie. It almost made her doubt Brian. After all, how well did she really know him?

It was time to ask some serious questions.

‘Do you know where Mummy is?’

‘No,’ said Jack, nodding at the same time as though he meant yes. Incredibly, he was sitting still, in one of the many bedrooms upstairs. Even more amazing, he was playing a game with his sister and Sunshine. Something was up. None of them was arguing.

‘Are you sure you don’t know?’ asked Vanessa sharply.

‘Mummy doesn’t want to be disturbed,’ announced Daisy bossily. ‘She and Daddy are having a rest.’

Was that so? Vanessa knew she shouldn’t interrupt them. But this couldn’t wait. ‘Bobbie?’ She hammered on a door further down the corridor. ‘Are you there? It’s me, Vanessa.’

It took a while for Bobbie to open it; when she did, she was wearing one of the white guest dressing gowns and pretending to look confused.

Vanessa wasn’t having that. ‘You know why I’m here, don’t you?’

‘Something going on?’ Rob loomed up behind his wife. He had his hand protectively on her shoulder: just as Brian used to do to her.

‘Yes,’ snapped Vanessa. ‘There is.’

Bobbie was flushing deep red. That woman was guilty. She just knew it. ‘Tell me straight. Did you ring social services?’

Bobbie took a step back. ‘Of course not.’

‘Are you sure? I know that you had something to do with that suede jacket. Don’t deny it! I saw Sarah wearing it yesterday. Not that that’s important compared with Sunshine.’ Vanessa had never seen herself as a violent woman but it was all she could do not to seize Bobbie by the lapels of that dressing gown. ‘Do you realise the damage you’ve done!’

Rob was looking at his wife aghast. ‘Please don’t tell me you’ve done something silly again.’

‘No. NO!’ Bobbie was shaking her head. ‘I promise you. It was nothing to do with me. I wouldn’t do that to you, Vanessa.’

‘I’d like to believe you, Bobbie, but I don’t know if I can.’ She turned round, feeling a horrible heaviness in her chest. ‘You’ve told lies before. Just like your children. And to be honest …’

‘CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?’ Matthew came dashing out of the room next door. ‘Lottie’s in absolute agony. Something’s wrong this time. I know it is. Call an ambulance. Quick!’

After they’d gone, complete with siren and flashing blue lights, it didn’t seem right to stay on any more. Brian was the first to leave. Quite a lot of guests were still outside from when the ambulance had gone off, so she couldn’t even have a proper goodbye kiss.

‘How awful,’ said Mrs Perfect as they gathered around, still not quite believing what had just happened. ‘Mind you, I did think Matthew should have taken his daughter straight to the doctor when it first started.’

‘No you didn’t!’ snapped her husband. ‘Your exact words were: There goes that man making a fuss again.’

Vanessa was too upset to talk. Matthew had brought Lottie to her that very morning for advice. ‘You’ve got more experience than me.’ Those were his exact words. But she’d got it wrong. It was so easy to do that with kids. Too easy when the consequences could be fatal. That was one of the scariest things about being a parent. Making these huge decisions, often on your own.

Now all they could do was hope. Maybe say a little prayer too. No harm in that, surely?

‘I’m going back with Rob,’ said Bobbie, not looking Vanessa in the face. Sign of a guilty conscience if ever there was one.

‘Yes. Of course.’ Vanessa turned away.

‘Presumably you won’t want me in the shop tomorrow.’ Despite her words, Bobbie’s voice sounded hopeful.

‘You presume right.’

‘I didn’t do it, you know!’

As she spoke, there was the sound of the horn honking from Rob’s car outside. ‘If you say so.’

Bobbie tried to kiss Vanessa on her cheek but she moved away. ‘Please go, Bobbie. I’ve nothing more to say to you.’ How, she wondered, watching Daisy waving madly at Sunshine from the back seat, could she have got Bobbie so wrong?

The journey back took ages. One of the junctions was still closed owing to the bad weather and there was an accident a few miles after that. She only hoped it wasn’t one of their party. Then again, that was selfish. It didn’t matter who it was, as long as they were all right.

‘Do you think Lottie is better now?’ asked Sunshine from the back.

‘I hope so.’

‘If Mummy was here, she’d be able to help. Like she helps the other women in our village.’

‘Really?’ Vanessa’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. ‘How does she do that?’

‘She puts her hand on them and then they’re better.’

Like a faith healer? Someone who laid on hands? But Brigid had always been so sharp. So angry. So abrupt. The picture didn’t really fit.

Maybe it was just Sunshine’s imagination. Kids came up with some amazing stories, as someone had said at the parenting class. If only you knew which ones to believe. They were nearly coming into Corrywood now; past the rich part where Pamela and Andy lived (fancy having two amazing homes!); then the middle-priced bit like Bobbie and Rob; and then their part, on the other side of the railway line. The wrong side. Maybe that had been another point against them in the social worker’s books.

She’d find out this week, at the meeting. Vanessa felt a huge wave of apprehension. Devon had distracted her from all her problems: the hospital appointment as well as social services. But now they were back in the real world. Maybe she ought to prepare Sunshine, just in case.

‘Poppet,’ she began, her mouth dry. ‘Remember the woman we went to see? The woman who you said smelt funny?’

‘LOOK!’ Sunshine’s voice rose into such a shriek that Vanessa wanted to put her hands over her ears. ‘LOOK!’

She was undoing her belt! Trying to scramble out of the car before it had even stopped; before she could find a parking space. For a minute, Vanessa thought she was referring to Brian. There was indeed a white van in the road. But it was bigger with gaudy psychedelic squirls on it.

‘IT’S MUMMY!’

No. No. It couldn’t be. But then Vanessa saw the girl running towards them. The tall, nut-brown girl with the startling blue eyes and jet black hair just like Harry.

‘MUMMY!’ cried Sunshine, running up and throwing herself into her mother’s arms. Vanessa sat there, rigid, the engine still running.

Brigid? Brigid!

Was it really her?