And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).
MARK 15:34
Disappointment is a sad and terribly lonely place. We all land there at some point in our lives. Our children move away and never call. Colleagues betray us. The company to which we’ve devoted our years downsizes, and we’re on the layoff list right along with the newcomer and the slacker. The man we love doesn’t love us back. The perfect child we dream about and tend in pregnancy is born with defects that will make the rest of our lives, and all our family members’ lives, nothing less than challenging. We get a disease or suffer an injury for which there is no relief or cure. Our investments dwindle. Friends disappear. The one we’ve prayed to find Jesus never does. Our dreams shatter and our best-laid plans go astray. Other Christians fail us. People disappoint us. We can disappoint ourselves, and at times we may even feel that God himself has let us down.
The long series of disappointments we accumulate in a lifetime can stop us from moving forward into all the goodness God has planned for us — and that means they’ll be stopping not only us but also those God has destined us to reach along our life’s journey. After all, how can we convince others of the wonder of God’s promises if we doubt them ourselves? How can we share how God has saved us when we don’t feel saved at all?
Why is it that we can know in our heads that God has our good in mind and that he can redeem any and every circumstance, and yet we can still feel hugely disappointed and deeply despondent? Our heads tell us God is trustworthy — but in a moment of aching disappointment, our hearts tell us he’s not even there.
In these places of deep disappointment, we must remind ourselves of those things about God that we know to be true, though they might not feel true at the moment. We must conclude for ourselves that the valley of death through which we are walking truly is a shadow, and that shadow does not define our lives. Christ does.
MOMENT OF REFLECTION
Think back over the disappointments you’ve had in your life.
Did they help you learn to trust God more, or to be wary?