“I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,” declares the LORD, “because you are called an outcast.”
JEREMIAH 30:17
Most of us have experienced hurt in one form or another. An overbearing boss crushes our spirit. An unfaithful spouse betrays our trust. Cruel friends trample our heart with spiteful words. Insensitive parents strip our confidence. Unthinking teachers call us stupid and tell us that we will never amount to anything, squashing our self-worth. Rebellious children stomp all over us. An abuser tries to take our soul. Whatever the source of attack, the hurt stings and the damage goes deep.
And, of course, we usually remember the exact moment of the damage — how the earth seemed to stop spinning, how the world came to a halt. We can’t forget the sights, the smells, the song that was playing, what we wore, who else was there. These things freeze in memory, and a part of us freezes with them, forever stuck in that place, unable to move on. We may have been delivered from our situation, but we still aren’t free.
That was true for me. For more than twelve years, I had been wounded by abuse. All that pain made me seal away a part of my heart and soul in what I thought was a safe, protected place. I desperately craved close relationships, but feared them too — because I never wanted to be hurt again. Though I was no longer in bondage to my abusers, I had shuttered my heart. I didn’t trust anyone, not even God. I kept him at a distance by giving him my time, but not all of myself. I didn’t trust him to take care of me. Nor could I forgive the men who hurt me, not even myself for being abused. Worse, I realized that I hadn’t forgiven God. Where was he, after all, when I was a helpless child and those men laid hands on me? How could I compel others to love God with their whole hearts when I kept a part of my own from him?
Although I was shocked by this revelation, God was not. Since he knows everything, he knew that if I were to be truly free, I needed to deal with my wounds. He was able to heal me — but I had to choose that healing. I had to accept that I needed help. I had to reach out to God and others as part of the healing exercise of a whole heart.
MOMENT OF REFLECTION
What are the hurts in your life?
Have you dealt with them?