‘Oops.’
I feel my eyes dart from left to right, covering every inch of the screen in front of me as I try to work out what the fuck I just did.
‘That doesn’t sound good,’ Caroline observes, looking at me over the top of her glasses. ‘What have you done now?’
She makes it sounds like I’m always making mistakes, when really – most of the time – we just differ on what is the most practical way to do things. Sweet Caroline and I often have different opinions. What she will brand ‘laziness’, I will call ‘selective participation’ – as a way to better manage my time, of course.
The truth is that I have no idea what I’ve just done. I’ve only been at work twenty minutes and already I’m making mistakes. I was going through Will’s emails, highlighting the high-priority ones when, suddenly, my screen flipped 180 degrees. Everything is upside down now.
‘Erm, everything is upside down now,’ I tell her, with no better way to explain my predicament springing to mind.
‘Don’t be silly, that’s not possible,’ she tuts.
‘No, really.’
I twist my screen around so she can see it.
‘How on earth have you done that?’ she asks.
‘I didn’t do anything,’ I say defensively. Well, I don’t think I did. I was just tapping away on the keyboard and it flipped. This is what happens when you try to get on with work while you’re pondering what you’ll be ordering from room service in each hotel.
Caroline exhales deeply. ‘I’ll call IT.’
‘There’s no need to do that,’ I say quickly.
‘What are you going to do?’ She laughs. ‘Stand on your head?’
‘Of course not.’
But she’s given me an idea. I take a large blob of Blu Tack from my top drawer and fix it firmly on the top of my flat screen monitor, and then I turn it upside down and secure it to my desk.
‘Why on earth have you done that?’ Caroline asks.
‘I don’t want to bother IT with it. It’s fine, I can work like this,’ I insist.
Caroline doesn’t have a response to this. She simply picks up her phone. ‘Hello,’ she says to someone at the other end. ‘Candice has had a little accident with her computer – lots on her mind,’ she explains. ‘Can you send someone up to help? Thank you so much.’
She hangs up the phone before getting back on with her work.
‘Someone from IT is on the way. Don’t touch anything.’
‘Great,’ I reply, hoping it’s anyone but the new guy. Will is currently in his office working. He just sent me a copy of the itinerary for the week and I couldn’t be more excited – that’s why I started looking at hotel restaurant menus and getting distracted. The last thing I need is the new guy coming up, talking to me and pissing Will off so close to our trip. I can’t think of anything that would better mess up our plans!
I take a piece of hair that isn’t wrapped up in my usual, sensible side plait and twirl it with my fingers as I stare at the ceiling. The Isle of Man is the first stop on our trip and while it isn’t exactly a trip abroad, I’ve never actually left Lancashire before. We’ll be taking the ferry, which I’m weirdly excited about because I’ve never been on so much as a pedal boat. That said, my only knowledge of big boats I picked up from two movies: Titanic, a movie that everyone has seen (if not during its maiden voyage in 1997, then certainly at least once since) and something called Ghost Ship that I stumbled upon by accident after getting lost in a dark corner of Netflix one evening. Neither of these films paints a particularly pretty picture when it comes to hitting the open waters, but I’m looking forward to it none the less.
The phone on Caroline’s desk is ringing, but she’s gone to use the photocopier. I know that I should answer it, but as I approach it I can see from the caller ID who it is: Stephanie, Will’s wife. I hesitate for a moment too long and the call goes through to voicemail. No message is left.
I start walking back towards my desk when the phone starts ringing again. I turn around and stare at it, too scared to check if it’s Stephanie again. If she’s calling for a second time she must really need to speak to Will, but why?
Deep in thought, I don’t even notice Caroline re-enter the room. She darts for the phone to answer it.
‘Good afternoon, Starr Haulage,’ she chirps.
I slink back over to my desk and take a seat behind my upside-down screen. It looks absolutely ridiculous, but it was a fast and effective solution – so long as I remember to move the mouse in the opposite direction, of course.
I look up at Caroline who has gone awfully quiet. I watch as the colour drains from her face, before she quickly dashes into Will’s office, closing the door behind her. Now I wish I’d taken the call, or at least looked to see who it was the second time. My mind has gone into overdrive.
‘Morning,’ I hear a cheeky Geordie accent in the room, snapping me from my thoughts.
‘You,’ I can’t help but say out loud.
‘Yes, me,’ he replies, confused. ‘You have an IT problem, I work in IT – who were you expecting?’
‘Never mind,’ I reply. ‘It’s my screen.’
The new guy stares at it thoughtfully for a moment, rubbing his chin as he assesses the issue.
‘Right, yes, I see the problem here… Your monitor is upside down,’ he says patronisingly, raising his voice and enunciating each word as though he were talking to a feeble-minded Alzheimer’s sufferer.
‘I know that,’ I reply in a similar tone. ‘It was the only way I could use it – everything is upside down. I don’t know what could’ve possibly caused it.’
‘I do,’ he tells me as he returns the monitor to its rightful position. He hits a couple of keys and in an instant everything is the right way up again.
‘You probably knocked a keyboard shortcut that rotates your screen without you needing to go into the graphics control panel,’ he explains, but I’m not really listening. I’m just staring at Will’s office door, wondering what’s going on inside.
‘You’d be surprised how many people knock it. Candy…Candy!’
‘What?’ I snap.
‘I said you’d be surprised how many people do it by accident. It’s probably that Monday morning feeling.’
‘It’s Thursday,’ I remind him.
‘Yeah, but any time I’m at work, it feels like a Monday, you know?’
‘Right, well, cheers,’ I say, hoping he’ll clear off. If Will comes out and sees him, he won’t be happy.
The new guy takes a seat on my desk.
‘So, what you doing tonight?’ he asks.
‘Packing. I’m working away for a week from tomorrow,’ I tell him. Actually I’m already packed but he doesn’t need to know that. ‘Will is visiting the other branches of the company, making sure everything is in order. I’m his assistant so, I’m assisting.’
‘Nice gig, Candy, who did you have to sleep with to get that?’ he jokes.
I don’t get a chance to correct him getting my name wrong again. I go to open my mouth just as Will’s office door opens.
Both Will and Caroline walk out of his office, Will hurrying on his jacket.
‘Candice, I’m going to need to postpone the visits to the other offices,’ he tells me in that cold, forced professional tone that he uses with me in front of other people so as not to arouse suspicion. Unluckily for Will, I’ve been so looking forward to this trip that I temporarily forget to adopt a similar tone.
‘But you said it was important,’ I reply.
‘Some things are more important,’ Caroline replies.
‘But I had to plan my life around this week,’ I say to Will directly, hoping he’ll take the hint. What I mean is that we arranged this for a reason and it’s important. He can’t back out now, not the day before we’re due to leave. I don’t understand.
‘You’re absolutely right,’ he tells me as he pats his pockets, eventually locating his keys. ‘Listen, you’re right, I know it’s affected your plans. Everything is in place – take the trip. Treat it as a sort of working holiday,’ he babbles. ‘Take one of the girls from the sales department if you like. Have some fun. You’ve earned it.’
‘That’s most generous,’ Caroline can’t help but say.
I look at him, puzzled. If he thinks a week off work staying in hotels with one of the ditzy sales team who he knows I’m not that friendly with is going to make up for him letting me down, he’s crazy.
‘But you said it was important,’ I say again with my voice, but with my eyes I’m pleading with him to reconsider.
‘Candice, take Mr Starr’s more than generous offer,’ Caroline insists. ‘He’s got a lot on his plate.’
Will heads for the door.
‘But – ’ I start, but Caroline cuts me off.
‘Candice,’ Caroline snaps. ‘Mr Starr has to get to the hospital right away. His wife has gone into labour much earlier than is safe for the baby.’
Will halts by the door and turns around and looks at me for a moment.
‘What?’ I ask quietly. I can’t have heard that right.
‘Hopefully everything will be OK,’ he tells me, and I’m not sure if he’s talking about the baby or our situation.
For a moment, we just stare at each other. It’s probably only a few seconds, but it feels like an eternity. The realisation crashes over me like a huge wave on a beach and it takes my breath away. Will’s wife is having a baby – his baby – and I don’t need to be a mathematician to work out that it was definitely conceived after Will and I started seeing each other. All this time I’ve felt like an ‘other woman’ – that’s because I was one.
‘Well, I’d best get back to work,’ the new guy says, making his excuses to get out of this awkward situation.
I’d forgotten he was still in the room, but in a moment of madness and anger I realise how I can hurt Will, even if it’s just a bit.
‘I want the new guy to come with me,’ I tell them. Everyone stares at me. ‘On the business trip – I’ll take the new guy.’
‘You…you can’t do that,’ Will stutters.
‘Why not?’ I ask. ‘I can show him the company, see if we can’t get him to stick around full-time. That’s what you want, isn’t it?’
‘That’s a great idea,’ Caroline says. She’s certainly not immune to the new guy’s charm – few women are.
‘He has work to do,’ Will insists.
‘Actually,’ new guy speaks up, ‘I’m front-end. There’s nothing for me to do until some back-end stuff is finished. That’s why I’m getting the rubbish jobs, like rotating screens.’
None of us has the remotest idea what this means. The new guy winks at me, and I see Will’s face flush with anger like I’ve never seen before.
‘See. And he drives, so travel problem solved.’
‘Well, that’s all sorted. You get off, Mr Starr,’ Caroline insists. ‘Know that you don’t need to worry about this. I’m sure Candice is more than capable.’
‘But – ’ Will starts, but she cuts him off.
‘Mr Starr, go see your wife. She needs you. I’ll take care of everything here.’
I watch as Will leaves reluctantly. We hold eye contact for a second, and then he’s gone.
With the new guy and Caroline still in the room, I know that I can’t cry. To be honest, I don’t think I could cry. I can’t even think straight.
‘My name is Danny.’
‘What?’ I ask.
‘My name,’ the new guy repeats. ‘It’s Danny. You don’t know my name, do you, Candy?’
‘Of course I know your name,’ I snap. ‘It’s you who doesn’t know my name. It’s Candice. Not Candy.’
‘Are you sure you want to go with her?’ Caroline asks, amazed Danny is considering it.
‘Happily,’ he replies. ‘It’ll be a nice break from this place, and it sounds like she needs a ride.’
Danny nods towards me and I raise my eyebrows.
‘Well, Mr Starr has taken care of hotels for the entire trip. I’ll print you a copy of the travel itinerary, get you the money for fuel…’
As Caroline fills Danny in on everything he needs to know, I tune out for a moment. There’s a loud ringing noise in my ears that is blocking out everything but my thoughts. How could he do this to me? He told me that he loved me, and yet he’s been lying to me all this time. Like my screen, in an instant everything has been turned upside down except, with my life, there’s no shortcut that’s going to put things right again.