Why I Cannot Attend Your Baby Shower
I’m a busy woman.
I’m very pressed for time.
I have to be up insanely early.
I have a job that involves a lot of travel.
I have a shitload of work to do this week.
I have booked a table at the Swan.
I’m supposed to be meeting someone at the airport.
I’m expecting company.
I’m afraid of dogs.
I have an ingrowing toenail.
I’m convinced there is something fishy going on.
I think there’s something to this alien business.
I have nothing against you personally.
I just want to get baked and watch a movie.
I’m very lazy by nature.
I’m majorly depressed.
I can’t think of a better answer offhand.
Source: New Oxford American Dictionary
Why You Are No Longer Invited to Our Baby Shower
You and I are through.
You have a nerve, I must say.
You and I see things differently.
You are a rustic half-wit.
You’re an arrogant little toad.
You have disgraced the family name.
You’re making a terminal ass of yourself.
You have a very inflated opinion of your worth.
You are the most buttoned-up tight-arse that I have ever met.
You have singularly failed to live up to your promises.
You’re so damned self-righteous, you make me sick.
You look like a drowned rat—nothing personal.
You ripped my jacket.
Source: New Oxford American Dictionary