Correspondence

Why I Cannot Attend Your Baby Shower

I’m a busy woman.

I’m very pressed for time.

I have to be up insanely early.

I have a job that involves a lot of travel.

I have a shitload of work to do this week.

I have booked a table at the Swan.

I’m supposed to be meeting someone at the airport.

I’m expecting company.

I’m afraid of dogs.

I have an ingrowing toenail.

I’m convinced there is something fishy going on.

I think there’s something to this alien business.

I have nothing against you personally.

I just want to get baked and watch a movie.

I’m very lazy by nature.

I’m majorly depressed.

I can’t think of a better answer offhand.


Source: New Oxford American Dictionary

Why You Are No Longer Invited to Our Baby Shower

You and I are through.

You have a nerve, I must say.

You and I see things differently.

You are a rustic half-wit.

You’re an arrogant little toad.

You have disgraced the family name.

You’re making a terminal ass of yourself.

You have a very inflated opinion of your worth.

You are the most buttoned-up tight-arse that I have ever met.

You have singularly failed to live up to your promises.

You’re so damned self-righteous, you make me sick.

You look like a drowned rat—nothing personal.

You ripped my jacket.


Source: New Oxford American Dictionary