FIRST THINGS first. I know that “getting your man” is not very inclusive, but the other phrasings were clunky. Also, if you aren’t interested in getting a partner, that’s cool. This book is also for people who want to know how I ended up with a superhot trophy boyfriend and for diehard Howl fans who want to know all the dirt.
To be honest, until I sat down to write this, even I didn’t know how I ended up here. I sure as fuck did not leave the Willow Sound of my youth anticipating that one day I would return, on the verge of a third-life crisis, only to realize I wasn’t over my high school crush and decide to put a ring on it.
But now that I’m looking back, I can see the decisions I made. I know what I did right.
And the first thing I did right was go back to where it all started. So, with that in mind—here it is. Jeff Pine’s personal guide to getting your man (or whatever).
Good luck.