Doubt and fear are like the Bonnie and Clyde of the universe—spiritual outlaws gunning to raid your soul and rob it blind of happiness if you let them. If you’re limiting your potential in any way, there’s a fine chance your hesitations are underscored by these partners in crime. They are the source of most negativity, and Spirit says that overcoming them is a major lesson we must learn in each lifetime. Doubt and fear will hold you back from being your best, and when that happens, you set yourself up for shame and regret—two of the heaviest burdens your soul can carry and that flatten your growth.
So what do most of my clients doubt and fear? More like, what don’t they? I’ve come to believe that if you can feel it, you can doubt or fear it. Rejection, intimacy, abandonment, humiliation, judgment, loneliness, embarrassment, ridicule, not living up to your potential, expressing yourself, not expressing yourself—these are the biggies. Doubt and fear can provoke a momentary distress over the unknown or a long-term worry that you’ll fail or disappoint yourself or others. The feelings of dread and suspicion that they breed can become so familiar that they persuade people to stop taking bold risks. The truth is, they’re all mind games, and we are all susceptible. When doubt and fear block a client, Spirit calls it like it is—“Doubt and fear, MaryAnn . . . ” As in Here we go again . . .
When Spirit mentions that a client wrestles with a doubt and fear block, they’re usually referring to one of two scenarios: a situational reaction or one that’s crippling and continuous, both of which stop you from making positive choices that help you move forward. Situational fear is what you feel when you’re in a dubious position—say, you lost your job and worry about making mortgage payments, or your loved one is ill in the hospital and you fear he might die. Here, the feeling passes when the circumstance does. This type of doubt and fear is part of life, and no matter how many times you manage it in one scenario, it will resurface in others. Spirit says it’s an ongoing obstacle, but you’ll handle it better each time since you’ve been there before.
Spirit’s second category is an ongoing, chronic anxiety that influences every aspect of your life—the relationships, thoughts, beliefs, and daily events that feel impossible to navigate because they’re darkened by a bleak undercurrent of doubt and fear. This is a constant hesitation in your mind that makes you think I don’t know about that . . . , often because you have trouble with trust and change. Spirit says chronic fear and doubt are debilitating; they don’t create a bump in the road that you’ll encounter, conquer, and move on from but rather manifest as a relentless foreboding that everything you touch will turn to pot. When this type of doubt and fear interferes, Spirit shows me Superman’s phone booth because Clark Kent enters it bumbling and afraid but emerges valiant! This is your future, too, when you overcome doubt and fear.
It’s important to realize that exercising doubt and fear is not the same as exercising caution or prudent thinking. I understand that when you feel nervous, hopeless, and out of control, you don’t want to trust the world outside yourself, but you must try. I have a friend named Mattie who doesn’t like the queasy stomach and mental gymnastics that come with feeling afraid or uncertain, so she makes fear- and doubt-based choices that protect her from her fear- and doubt-based feelings! For example, she repeatedly doubts her doctors and will skip appointments or not follow through with the tests they suggest. Mattie tells herself it’s because she knows her body better than the experts, but what’s really happening is that she doesn’t trust that her Team will guide her, is afraid of a diagnosis that could force her to change in some way, and doubts that she’ll have the time or energy to help herself once she’s given a treatment plan. She tells herself she’s just being careful, judicious, and self-protective, but she’s really demonstrating a lack of trust—in herself, in others, and God, too. It’s ironic—Mattie’s basically afraid of her own fear. Defaulting to inertia on the other hand? Well, that’s easy, comfortable, and safe.
Spirit says the telltale sign that you are acting from fear and not caution is that caution never stops you from forward motion. It’s a fleeting impulse that helps you make productive decisions—should I invest my money, take this job, go on that date—not freeze you in place because all you can imagine are impossible outcomes. And as you might guess, caution is often instinctual, whereas fear and doubt are mind based; you know because caution doesn’t put you in a corner and make you quiver. It warns you in a beneficial yet unobtrusive way.
One of the obvious issues with chronic doubt and fear is that these forces originate from, feed off of, and breed heavy negativity. Considering that everything you say, do, think, and feel can color your intentions, actions, and belief system, you can see why this is a problem. Fear and doubt encourage you to begin each day with a poor sense of self and a discouraged outlook. When these themes permeate your life, your potential for happiness takes a nosedive because you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You may not fully invest in relationships because you don’t expect them to last. You hide from new opportunities because you figure they’re long shots or won’t pay off anyway. As a result, you gravitate to safer and less-stimulating routes. Yet you probably also resent these choices and resent yourself for making them. At best, a humdrum path can lead to a predictable journey that you’ll likely walk with regret, boredom, and a ton of misgivings. You may question who you are, how you got to this point, and how to stop the degrading cycle. To make matters worse, chronic doubt and fear can even cause you to doubt and fear your potential for happiness, so you might not even try to find it! You basically dump glue on an emotional and spiritual state that’s already stuck in place. Good grief, no wonder you’re blocked. Thankfully, your Team can guide you out of it.
Your angels and guides are adamant about dealing with situational and chronic doubt and fear because negative energy can block positive energy. When you are in the throes of doubt and fear, it’s harder for your Team to intervene, for you to hear your instincts, and for you to believe in a stable and positive reality in your future. It also invites more negative energy into your immediate field, whether it belongs to ugly situations or peers who bring you down. Clients who struggle with doubt and fear tell me they repeatedly “find themselves” in negative situations and among toxic people, but when you make decisions from a point of fear or doubt, it’s more likely that you’re putting yourself in bad situations. You don’t need me to tell you that misery loves company, so those with negative habits and a sour outlook will gravitate to you, and you to them, when doubt and fear play a big role in your life. You’ll find solace in shared perspectives and feel comfortable around the lower energy you both give off.
When another person’s doubt or fear becomes dangerous to you, your Team takes this very seriously. It reminds me of my client Sasha, who saw me for a reading after her mother passed. Her mom’s soul stepped forward right away as part of Sasha’s Team. Mom told me that Sasha fears she’s a letdown to herself and her family because she’s an alcoholic and uses drugs; she doubts she’ll ever amount to much more than the person she is now. Mom then showed me that Sasha had been trying to take a trip but was continually thwarted. When I mentioned this, Sasha validated it—“I was trying to get concert tickets with friends in Chicago, but I’m not having any luck. I’ve tried three times now! Is Mom going to help?” Spirit laughed because they showed me that Sasha’s angels and spirit guides had actually been blocking her trip. Their reasoning was that by going to the concert, she’d feel tempted to use and drink. “Don’t put yourself in that position. You’re too close to recovery,” her Team asked me to tell Sasha. “Your instincts even told you this would be a bad idea.” My guides then showed me a broom, which, if you remember, is my sign for when you need to sweep toxic people and situations out of your life. “Start listening to your intuition, and cut out the nonsense,” I channeled from Mom.
In this chapter, you’ll use Believe, Ask, and Act to disable the thoughts that feed doubt and fear so you can make confident, informed choices. Doubt and fear come from your mind, so they exist only when you fuel them with the anxiety and negative thinking they need to thrive.
●Believe that your soul is always united with God’s energy, which ensures unending potential and unconditional love. You have no reason for alarm and nothing to question because you’re safe, understood, and cared for by the universe. God has given you the tools to meet life’s challenges—navigational instincts, a Universal Team, and the potential for self-awareness, control, love, and balance—and they’re all accessible from within. With this comes the power to endure. Every day arrives with some risk and reward, but we all possess the strength to overcome doubt and fear. The light of God lives in each of us, and it drives the human spirit.
●Believe that when you devote ardent, consistent energy to worry, the universe responds to this as if it’s a long-term meditation, and you will encourage negative energy that muddies your path. If instead you focus on solution-oriented thinking and believe that positive outcomes will be yours, that is what you will attract. Believe that God did not create doubt and fear and that these forces do not come from God, because God is unlimited love. Doubt and fear are learned emotions that are acquired through life experience. They simply exist on this plane, but if you let them overtake you, you’ll veer off your best path. You’ll overlook beauty and wonder because you’re so focused on doubt and fear.
●Believe that while God honors prayers that arise because you feel doubt and fear, you shouldn’t only turn to God when you are scared or uncertain. You also can’t expect that because you look to God when you are afraid, He will reward you for coming to Him by answering all your prayers. Know that every prayer is heard by God and your Team, and He will sustain you when you feel doubt and fear.
●Believe that when you encounter doubt and fear, you will answer with faith. Faith that you and your Team can navigate any waters. Faith that you are strong enough to push past obstacles. Faith that you are here to thrive. Your faith should be bigger than your fears and concerns. Ask your Team to send signs that proffer hope. “Your guides and angels will always have a rope,” my guides say. “If you can see even a pinpoint of light and can focus on that, hold on.”
There’s an old saying that goes “A ship in the harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.” I love that. No matter what storm you encounter, God wants you to press on without doubt and fear. My client David was a prosecuting attorney who dedicated his life to putting away criminals; he had a high-risk, high-reward job, but he couldn’t wait to retire. Shortly after he left his law firm, his mom and sister died within a year of each other. Six months later, he had heart surgery and experienced a rare complication; the operation cut off bloodflow to his spinal cord and paralyzed him from the waist down. Yet despite all David has suffered and lost, he Believes in God’s goodness and has no doubt or fear about what tomorrow holds. He’s more likely to say “Thank you, God” than “Why me?” or “How will I go on?” David Believes life is meant to be lived, so he revels in telling stories to his grandchildren about his “good life.” Spirit showed me that David never wavers in his faith, so doubt and fear are a nonissue. David’s setbacks haven’t taken precedence over all he has done and is as a person. He endures and learns from his experiences in a positive and inspiring way that buoys his soul and sustains his everyday life.
Understanding your doubt and fear and where they come from is an imperative step to growth since these complex emotions don’t have a cookie-cutter presentation. They manifest based on how you feel in the situation at hand, so forward motion relies on your ability to honestly reflect with Spirit’s help. In an unraveling relationship, for example, doubt and fear could cause you to either fight too hard or too little for what you want. Figuring out your motivating factors helps you clarify your intentions.
My client Josie struggles with chronic fear and anxiety; she’d give the Debbie Downer character from Saturday Night Live a run for her money. Josie’s fear touches everything in her life, from her health to her family dynamics and self-image. If her two-year-old granddaughter pushes the dog, she’s sure the child will become a bully some day. If a blood test shows she’s anemic, Josie assumes it’s cancer. If her husband has a disagreement with his boss, she’s certain he’ll be fired and they’ll plummet into debt. She also changes jobs a lot because she thinks her peers are out to get her. And on it goes. The result? Josie’s constant panic blocks her from joy. Because her sour outlook is exhausting, her friendships are short lived and her family limits visits. If Josie could decrease her doubt and fear, she’d be so much happier.
I encouraged Josie to use Believe, Ask, and Act to tame her hesitations, and she told me she found the Ask step especially enlightening. In meditation, she was shown multiple ways her own mom acted out of doubt and fear and that repeating her mother’s patterns felt like “home.” She also felt that perhaps her anxieties escalated after her mother passed away. Josie realized that just because she comes from a long line of matriarchal naysayers, her attitude doesn’t make her happy, and she felt determined to break the legacy. Josie took her shot at redemption when, during a routine maintenance check, her mechanic found that her car’s coolant was leaking. Ordinarily Josie would’ve thought, Of course my car is a lemon. I’m destined to break down on a back road somewhere in the dark of night, and God knows what will happen to me then. Instead, she stopped short of a deep sigh and thanked her angels and guides for alerting her to the engine issue before her car overheated and caused her serious and expensive damage.
Because doubt and fear are so disabling, Spirit says that angels and guides will work extra hard to help you feel reassured of their presence and safe in their care during Ask—but you do have to Ask for their assistance first. So when listening for answers, you may sense multiple responses—certainly during meditation or prayer, but also as outside advice and other signs. In fact, I strongly encourage you to turn to confidants for guidance because Spirit likes to work through them, too. This is like when my friend Caroline felt situational fear when her neighbor’s moving man was staring at her in a scary, lewd way. She wasn’t sure what to do; it wasn’t enough of an offense to call the police, and she didn’t want to confront and risk angering the man since he knew where she lived. The scenario made Caroline feel paralyzed, so she used Believe, Ask, and Act to resolve it. She Asked in prayer, “Am I in danger?” and heard that she should call a few friends for their input, all of whom said the same thing—he likely wouldn’t harm her. She thanked Spirit for reassuring her through a consensus but also thought, I still wish I had another option. Within seconds, a friend unfamiliar with the situation coincidentally asked her out for coffee, and when Caroline told her about the strange guy, the woman insisted Caroline stay at her house until her husband was home from work. Caroline loved her Team’s backup plan and felt at peace.
Call on an angel, guide, or cultural figurehead that represents protection to you—think Native American warrior guides, powerful gladiators, and strong Egyptian goddesses. These are just some of the souls that step forward during doubt and fear discussions with clients. You can also Ask for a faith-based soul or angel of protection to help you address these questions, and when an image appears in your head, trust that your guides placed it there. While I was channeling this advice, Archangel Michael appeared with his arms stretched out to me and said, “Place your fear within my hands and know you are protected.” He’s a great one to call on!
The runway to this Ask step is longer than most because fear is impossible for Spirit to penetrate if it dominates your energy field. To settle into a relaxing headspace, let’s move out of your mind and into your body. Start by taking three deep breaths in and out. As you breathe in, think Inhale strength and protection and while breathing out, Exhale doubt and fear. Next, notice how your body is reacting to your fearful thoughts and use motion to release the energy. So if your shoulders are raised and tense, shrug them a few times. If your neck is sore, move your head from side to side. Notice how the muscles and tendons loosen. Another option is to sit in Yogi pose and imagine yourself wrapped in a blanket of beautiful, golden energy. Imagine it flowing around and through your body. Do this until you feel a wave of peace, quiet, and calm settle over you. You may even feel the energy tingle from within your body a bit.
Once you feel relaxed and centered, envision yourself protected in a bubble of white light and imagine three cords quickly locking you into the ground. With the soul you chose in mind, state this intention: “I have the strength to overcome the doubt and fear that hold me back.” Then calmly Ask your Team the “six Ws”—who, what, when, where, why, and how. When my guardian angel suggested this approach, I smiled at the idea of using the basic questions that police officers use during an investigation! Spirit clearly wants you to get to the bottom of your doubts and fears as efficiently as possible. You can do this meditation in one long, deep session or break it up as your schedule allows.
Sense Spirit’s answers, stay open to guidance, and don’t forget to thank your Team for their help.
Who
Who am I hurting the most with this doubt and fear? What
What is the situation causing me doubt and fear?
What does it specifically make me feel?
What makes these feelings subside or escalate?
When
When did I first begin feeling this way?
When do I feel, or have I felt, relief or safety from these feelings?
Are there any commonalities here?
Where can I go—mentally or physically—to feel reassurance and calm in the midst of panic?
Why
Why am I holding on to this doubt and fear?
How
How can I take my first step toward feeling confident, strong, and safe?
This is exactly what my client Christine did, and it worked out beautifully. At nineteen years old, she designed a shapewear line; a few years later, she sold it to a large corporation. In her early twenties, the self-made millionaire got married and jumped into other seemingly lucrative ventures like real estate and tech, but these bubbles kept bursting before her eyes. By her midforties, Christine’s marriage also ended, and she struggled to reinvent herself professionally. She was confused and had lost faith in her abilities and a higher power’s “willingness” to help her out. Christine didn’t understand why life wasn’t flowing for her the way it once did. She was so afraid that her next venture would be another bust that she opted to do nothing. Christine was frozen in place, and every time she brainstormed new ideas, she felt overwhelmed, doubted her instincts, and questioned her abilities. This is when she came to see me.
With Spirit’s guidance, Christine and I began to dissect her fears and doubts. She felt anxious that she’d been on a losing streak. Her divorce had taken a bite out of her self-esteem, which caused her to question her overall value to others. Before we could go on, Spirit suggested that Christine Ask her guides and angels one question: “What do I love to do?” Christine was shown that for the past twenty years, she’d successfully helped a lot of friends envision and launch their businesses, even when her own ideas hit a wall. And she had fun every time! “I might as well get paid for it!” she laughed, and planned to Act right away. In a few weeks’ time, Christine launched a business to help entrepreneurs succeed.
Because Christine listened to her instincts, her Team provided her with incredible opportunities; and to avoid feeling swamped with responsibility, she Acted on each in baby steps. Wouldn’t you know, the very first client Christine met was a lingerie designer? She smiled at the synchronicity, recognized the sign, and thanked her angels and guides for the gift. What’s interesting is that this designer didn’t just ask for Christine’s help as a consultant; he asked her to partner with him in his business. This put Christine back in her element—with not one, but now two businesses to run, so over the next few months, she paced herself. A little at a time, she met new contacts, vendors, and partners, pausing to weigh the pros and cons with each. Her past businesses taught her that the market could change on a dime, so thoughtful motion was a must. Though Christine’s steps were gradual, purpose returned to her life almost immediately. And at a work appointment, Christine bumped into an old high school crush; after some time, the two began dating and eventually got married. If all that’s not enough, when I last saw Christine, she told me that her lingerie partner introduced her to an accessories designer who may help expand their line even further! Since Christine employed her Team’s baby steps, her life has completely turned around.
You’ll know you’re Acting without doubt and fear when you feel confident about your future. This does not mean that you won’t still have questions about what the right next step is or that you won’t do frequent self-checks to ensure that your decisions feel like the best ones you can make. But rather than being crippled by indecision, you will feel like you are taking sensible steps to gather information and really weigh your options. You may turn to others for input, but you won’t need them to validate every decision you make. You won’t be as hard on yourself about your choices because you’ll know that whatever you do next, Spirit’s steered you there for a reason, if just to inform your next move. You’ll enjoy yourself and feel calm in new situations, perform your best, and not feel self-conscious. Acting with confidence isn’t so much about holding yourself in high esteem as it is about accepting who you are so you can enjoy what you’re doing. When you demonstrate self-worth, you believe in an intrinsic competence that comes from your soul.