“Step out of your comfort zone” might sound more like a business coach’s priority than God’s, but your Universal Team often asks me to channel this very message; at its core is an actionable, spiritual tenet. After all, if you want to release the blocks that keep you from happiness, you have to be willing to take chances that guide you there. And even when those efforts feel uncomfortable, your Team will always steer and support them. Spirit’s whole purpose is to help you create the kind of powerful positivity that arises when dreams come to fruition. Have faith that with God and your Team’s guidance, the unknown is awesome. Put your hesitations aside, believe in your own gifts and instincts, and trust in the process.
When Spirit wants to encourage my clients to expand their horizons, they show me a symbol that I’m sure you’ve seen on Pinterest memes and motivational posters from the ’80s. It’s a circle with a dot inside it that’s labeled “Your Comfort Zone,” and then there’s a second dot outside the circle with the words “Where the magic happens.” When Spirit shows me this sign, they want me to convey how essential it is for my clients to push their boundaries and take healthy chances. The sign typically arises when clients are either considering or at the start of a major decision that’s exciting but also gives them pause, such as a job change, geographical move, a new relationship or commitment of some kind, and the like. From Spirit’s perspective, stepping outside your comfort zone means taking an adventurous leap of faith and enjoying the process; it’s a very positive symbol for me. You may feel some trepidation, but it’s more of a thrilling, nail-biting nervousness that motivates you toward a positive outcome rather than a negative or suffocating fear that hampers your happiness. Anticipating the steps to your destination should also feel exhilarating, not laborious or terrifying. In fact, Spirit says this kind of emotional rush is a sign that you’re on the cusp of growth.
Since it can be challenging to immediately start from a place of yes, Spirit says it’s just as productive to begin with the question “What if I did?” This causes you to visualize a thoughtful, in-your-wildest-dreams answer that your Team can use as a reference point when presenting opportunities that align with your hopes. After all, the universe wants you to enjoy rolling the dice and do it often. I love a poem called “The Dash” by Linda Ellis, and in it she says, “What matters is how we live and love/and how we spend our dash”—meaning the years represented by a dash on your tombstone between the year you’re born and the year you die. Spirit says you’re meant to take positive risks that speak to you, or you’ll always question whether you’re fulfilling your potential or missing out on life. That’s no way to spend your dash.
Comfort zone activities that you want to avoid are those that compromise who you are or ask you to hold on to habits and routines that lead to disappointment or sadness—frankly, anything that occurs at the expense of growth, learning, and joy. As you might guess, stagnant choices cause roadblocks to happiness and inner satisfaction. In fact, when Spirit hears clients say, “I feel like a gerbil on a wheel,” “I feel like I’m missing out,” or “I’m on a path to nowhere,” they downright insist that you shake things up. Change your focus to change your energy. Go back to school, train for a marathon, or take a road trip. You don’t want to go so far outside of your zone that you feel like you’ve just walked off a cliff, but you should feel exhilarated, heightened, challenged, and very excited. You don’t have to be a thrill seeker to push your limits, either. Your soul lightens just as much when you cook an exotic meal as when you jump out of a plane if both stimulate you in fresh ways. I’ve found that your Team is behind whatever will make you happy, as long as it comes from a pure place and doesn’t hurt others. The subsequent positivity feeds your soul, inspires you to spread the joy to those around you, and sends out a positive vibration from you and them that helps the universe.
Spirit suggests that each time you Act with an encouraging step, you take a moment to realize I’m okay and then take another step. You’ll feel increasingly brave and aware that when you face new mountains, you’ll climb them, too. When I began reading clients, it was very hard for me to “come out” to friends as a medium, even though I was excited that I’d honed this awesome ability. I’ve always feared judgment, and I didn’t want the people closest to me to misinterpret the situation and turn away. I was nervous they’d think I was a bad Catholic or liked talking to the dead in a creepy manner. But after I told one person, she was fine with it, and so I felt okay to tell another, and another . . . and these days, I can’t stop my friends from asking me to use my gift to help them! Mindfully expanding my comfort zone has helped me become who I am. In fact, when my son’s friend told him that “[psychics] like your mom are full of it,” my knee-jerk reaction wasn’t to drive over to this kid’s house and give him a beat-down. Instead, I said that it doesn’t matter what others think, and I meant it. The teaching moment was really validating for me. I helped my son see that the more you stand behind your beliefs, the less you need others to substantiate them.
Not surprisingly, stepping outside your comfort zone helps align you with your best path. Your imprint is composed of hopes and adventures, both pursued and deferred, and Spirit doesn’t want you to compromise or sacrifice in a way that eats at your soul’s identity. This reminds me of my client John, who came to me so we could connect with his deceased father. Right away, Dad’s soul stepped forward and placed a ceiling just above John’s head. When Spirit does this to a client, it’s a symbol to show me that the person is preventing himself from growth because he’s too comfortable. John’s father, a vocal member of his son’s Team, then told me that while John was in nursing school, he secretly dreamed of becoming a doctor. “You have the potential, and you know you can do this,” I channeled. He showed me that being a doctor would more closely align John with his imprint. I suggested John use the three steps to encourage his Team to place opportunities in his path for him to grab or ignore; and if he pursued them with pure intentions, hard work, and persistence, he’d come out on top. When I last saw John, he’d changed his major to premed and was studying to be an oncologist. “It’s easy to forget the human will is tenacious and what you are all capable of doing,” my guides say. “Your life is not as confined as you make it.”
It’s been my experience that when we step outside our comfort zones, our spirits rise to the occasion. In this chapter, I’ll focus on how you can work in conjunction with God and your Team to reach goals that live “where the magic happens.” I’ll share the beliefs that will support you during this process, explain how to request clear direction en route, and channel tips that will help you reach the finish line.
●Believe that stepping out of your comfort zone lightens and brightens your energy for your soul’s enrichment and the universal good. And while your angels and guides are excited for you to feel the euphoria that comes with taking leaps of faith, Believe there is a higher reason for their guidance, too. It’s your Team’s job to care, because you are part of a system that powers the universe; and as your teachers, your Team will do everything they can to help you learn and achieve to enhance your soul for you and the greater good. The lighter your energy, the faster you move to new levels and the more powerful the universe becomes. Spirit says we are all born with a duty to live as our truest self, and it’s within that form that we achieve our personal greatness. Stepping out of your comfort zone and toward an exciting new future is a service not only to yourself but to the whole universe.
●Believe that as you take chances, your Team will offer you support and tools to relieve the discomfort that comes with uncertainty. This may arrive as a peaceful sensation that washes over you when you’re thinking about the task at hand, a sense of knowing and awareness that you’re being guided, or signs from your departed loved ones. This last one happened when my son stepped out of his comfort zone. I encouraged him to play a sport and suggested he ask God and his Team for help determining his best choice, since he was worried about juggling the responsibilities of being an athlete and managing his academics at the same time. A week later, he announced that after much consideration, he’d decided to play football. Cut to a few weeks into the season, when I heard him humming the song “Eye of the Tiger.” This made me laugh because it’s a song that my spirit guides sing to me when I’m meant to empower a client! I asked my son where he’d heard it, and he said, “I don’t know; it just popped into my head.” I told him, “That’s your sign—for both of us—that you made the right choice. Hum it as your mantra!” He’s doing great as an offensive lineman and feels really good about himself on the field.
●Believe, too, that worthwhile pursuits don’t exist only outside your comfort zone. You may have different comfort zones for different areas of your life, and when you’re happily “in the zone” for any of them, that elevates your soul, too. I’m comfortable with my role as a mother and feel no need to take a risk there; ditto for my marriage. I feel content and stimulated, the love flows freely, and I feel safe being myself. I’m in my groove, and these corners of my world naturally click. Thus, they’re innately positive comfort zones for me because I’m at my best.
●Believe that if you set a goal and hit a wall in its pursuit, this is simply a detour and not an early end point; your journey may be longer than you wish, but it’s never meant to stop short of your goal.
This point comes up a lot when ambitious clients expect to climb the career ladder at an unrealistically fast pace that ultimately won’t serve them. My client Terry, for instance, works as a bank teller and has stepped outside her comfort zone in an effort to become a Reiki Master. So Terry began taking classes, but she’d only been training for a few months when she asked me when she’d have a thriving practice! I then saw that she felt discouraged that lately her healings had become less accurate, and her Team said they’d blocked her in this way so that she’d focus, savor, and fine-tune her skills rather than get ahead of herself. Terry’s detour was simply a teaching moment. Remember, Spirit has a plan and needs you to see it through. Reflect on the factors during this process that have made you feel good, tweak your approach based on what’s working, and be sure to take in any lessons you’ve learned along the way. Perhaps you received constructive criticism, grew a thicker skin, and now are more open to others’ perspectives. You’re not just turning lemons into limonata or placating yourself by thinking there’s a reason you’re derailed. Use your lessons as signposts to help you get back on track.
As you Ask, be sure to establish and maintain realistic expectations for who you are right now. Don’t limit your dreams, but also don’t set your sights on grandiose goals like winning the lottery or pursuing aims that are completely out of your control or downright impractical—and certainly not overnight. My client Sarah, for example, has thrived because of her realistic attempts to jump outside her comfort zone. Sarah is a smart and friendly college student who was once crippled with anxiety that turned her into a painful introvert. When I first read her, Spirit showed me that Sarah rarely went out, constantly self-criticized, and stuck to summer jobs like babysitting so she didn’t have to interact with others her age. Yet Sarah wanted to be and do more, and when she got to college, she decided to study in Spain for a semester with strangers from all over the world. She embraced a new situation that challenged her but within the safety of a school program. She would have set herself up for trouble had she chosen to, say, quit college and move alone to the Congo.
Praying to her angels, Sarah focused on Asking three questions: Is this right for me? Will I make friends? Will I be okay? After each one, she felt a calm and clear “Yes.” She bought her ticket, had a blast abroad, and stays in touch with a group of friends she met in Europe. It was such a life-changer that Sarah returned to her home college more confident than when she left, and she plans to teach in Spain after graduation.
As Spirit guides you through the Ask process, you may feel a bit like a snake that’s slowly shedding its skin. When a snake grows and eventually reaches a point where further growth in its current skin isn’t possible, a new layer of skin grows under the current one, and the old skin peels off. As you Ask questions that guide you outside your comfort zone, you’ll learn to slip right out of the routines and habits that are no longer useful to you. You will become one with the “new skin” you’ve grown, and you’ll feel proud of the person the world sees. Spirit says this response isn’t ego, by the way. It’s empowerment and hard-earned pride for your newfound capabilities.
For Part I, you will choose a well-intentioned, realistic goal. Remember to establish expectations that your Team can work with and you can rely on. Don’t presume that as a college grad, the three steps will help you become an overnight Fortune 500 prodigy. Not. Gonna. Happen. Also remember that your timelines and outcome may be colored by your Team’s lessons for you and others involved. Your request may not be met exactly how you’d hoped, so stay open to Spirit’s solutions as you encounter them.
For Part II, Ask your Team to support your goal in a positive light. This creates a great foundation that you can return to for encouragement as you pursue the goal. I find that the hardest part of trying new things is that the smallest hesitation can feel like a major sticking point, since everything about the situation—from what you feel to how you’re behaving—is unfamiliar. It’s easier to give up than find an alternate path. Choose your mode of encouragement based on what you need at that moment. One comforting way to receive encouragement is to Ask that you feel your guides at work. You can invite this in a quick, casual way (“Thank you for surrounding me”). You can also Ask to receive signs from your loved ones that they’re with you, knowing this may not happen instantaneously (“I’m open to receiving the signs you provide”). I like to Ask guides for a pep talk, voice of reason, or extra encouragement and motivation when I need it. As I mentioned in Chapter 4, Spirit will respond to you in the third person—something like “You can do anything you put your mind to” or “You’re in your element.” I also Ask for reassurance in channeled writings from my angels and guides because it offers immediate gratification. And if your uneasiness feels too overwhelming for an exercise? Ask your Team to take the feeling away by saying, “Thank you for removing my jitters so I can think and act clearly.”
In Part III, Ask your Team how to take your first step toward your goal. Prepare for a tiptoe or leap—there’s no telling what Spirit has in store, so it’s key to remain flexible and aware. For reassurance, you may even want to visualize yourself in the comfort zone symbol I described earlier, standing on the edge of the circle and diving off the edge as if you’re plunging into a cool, refreshing swimming pool.
Heading into uncharted waters requires dynamic energy, so my guides offered two types of powerhouse energy for this. First, you can request the soul of a departed family member who embodied adventure and encouragement while they were alive. This presence should also make you feel that you’re being held accountable for your actions and follow-through. Brassy Italian and Jewish grandmothers come to mind! Your other option is to Ask for guidance based on the energy you crave. You can do this by drawing attention to your third chakra, also called your Solar Plexus, located in the center of your upper abdomen. This chakra is associated with fire and the power of transformation; it’s the center of willpower and achievement. Every chakra in your body is associated with a color, and for me, this one is yellow. To channel energy from your Solar Plexus, close your eyes and visualize yellow light around and within you. Then Ask God to send you a soul that will help you reach this chakra’s fullest potential.
When you’re ready to begin, take a moment to quiet, ground, and protect yourself, then call on the soul that best resonates with you. State the intention: “I commit to having the strength to become all that God has intended me to be.” Then Ask, stay open, and express gratitude for your guidance.
What would you like to do outside your comfort zone?
How does this opportunity make you feel?
How would this change your daily life?
How will it help you become your truest self?
Part II
Ask for your Team’s support now and whenever you need it. This is always beneficial if your goal feels stalled, you’re nervous or afraid, or you’ve hit a dead end. My guides suggest two great ways to do this.
For comforting pep talks, I like to do channeled writings. Here, write a question at the top of the page that reflects what’s on your mind, such as “What am I missing?” or “What am I worried about?” Then let the answers flow from within you without hesitation or judgment.
Another effective, supportive technique is to Ask Spirit to remind you of a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and your life soared as a result. Think about the feelings and steps it took to get you there, how you could have potentially bypassed roadblocks if you’d paid more attention to your instincts sooner, and how it felt to reach the finish line. Hold on to that final feeling because that is what you’re meant to feel every time you push your boundaries in a way that aligns with your soul’s path. Return to it when you need to be reminded of how gratifying the end result will feel.
Part III
Is this a good time to take a leap of faith?
If not, when might it be?
If yes, how should I set up my time frame?
How do I take the next step?
Spirit listens and responds to thought—in fact, on the Other Side, all soul communication is telepathic—so the way you mentally frame actions as you do them is very important. Stepping outside your comfort zone often requires sacrifice, so it helps to continue to think positively about the big-picture result and not bemoan any smaller steps that pinch. Reduce your struggle by accepting that detours and missteps are bound to happen. Focus, instead, on all the new opportunities and feelings that come with forward motion. When my friend Paula stepped out of her comfort zone by working outside her home for the first time in ten years, she offset her readjustment period by focusing on the perks of this risk—adult conversation, happy hour, free pens. Spirit supports and rewards positive responses to trying situations.
Even so, Spirit tells me one of the most hampering moves you can make is to get too stuck in your head during Act. There’s a fine balance between creating enthusiastic (positive) and desperate (negative) energy, and you stir up the latter when you become so obsessed with reaching your goal that your efforts are imbalanced. When my client Bella went outside her comfort zone to adopt a baby from Haiti, she took every bird, song, and conversation to be a sign from Spirit, then spent hours journaling about potential next steps, then asked her friends what they thought she should do, then got upset if they didn’t agree with her, then ignored it all and started over . . . it was a crazy-making Act process that created anxiety. She was so frantic for affirmation that her actions actually demonstrated a lack of trust in Spirit. This lack of trust caused her to panic and made her second-guess herself and her Team. Stepping outside your comfort zone is meant to be fun and exciting and to spread positivity. Despite potential twists and turns, you have to Act with the faith that your guides know what they’re doing. You’re also more likely to enjoy where you land if you’re in the moment as you go.
When you Act with faith, confidence, and courage, your ever-expanding comfort zone offers you a generous space to explore, create, and write your own story. My friend Brandon is a cool example of someone whose life took off when he jumped outside his comfort zone. (Spirit often shows me his story when they want me to talk about comfort zones. Though I hadn’t been shown Believe, Ask, and Act at that time, they’ve since assigned the steps to his process.) For three years, Brandon worked as a train conductor, though it never spoke to his soul. He came from a long line of railroad employees, including his dad, who insisted that job security be his top priority. Yet Brandon’s need to strike out on his own persisted.
Brandon knew he wanted to start with a business degree, but he couldn’t afford to put himself through school. He had a strong belief system based in positive thought and recited affirmations every morning, so he Asked for guidance during meditation and felt led to chart a timeline for himself—from going to school on the railroad’s dime to thinking outside the box when it was time to interview for jobs. When Brandon graduated in the mid-’90s, he heard about a tech start-up that developed and provided Internet ad serving services. It sounded like a positive risk and one that Brandon felt energized to take on.
I assured Brandon that his nervous excitement was a good sign, and he dove into Act mode. He impressed the company during his interview and was hired on the spot. Brandon’s gut told him to invest what little money he had into the company. By the late ’90s, however, the dot-com world crashed and Brandon’s business went under. Naturally, he was upset, but instead of running back to the railroad for guaranteed job security and his father’s approval, Brandon decided to keep going. He secured a job with a new but promising tech upstart as a salesman. He felt good and continued to have faith in God; he didn’t allow himself to feel deterred and took time off from cynics who fed his fear. Once again, Brandon invested a portion of his earnings in the company. There were times Brandon was legitimately worried about his future, but he’d return to his affirmations and frame the situation in a positive light. Stock drops became an invitation to improve. Management shake-ups were an opportunity for fresh blood. You can imagine how much faith it took to quiet Brandon’s rational mind, which told him he was nuts to trust the tech world twice, but he chose to listen to his inner voice that said, Stay with this. He never doubted his guidance, and sure enough, he and the company flourished. It’s called Google—maybe you’ve heard of it.
The bonus prize isn’t that Brandon’s intuition led him to make a lot of money (though it did). It’s that the more he pushed his limits, the more rewarding his entire life became. Because Brandon succeeded from taking a chance in one area, he had the guts to take chances outside the office. He let go of commitment issues, fell in love, and got married. He made time to strengthen his body, began running marathons, and became an Ironman. Google appreciated Brandon’s pep, which reflected their culture. Pushing boundaries fed Brandon’s mind, body, and soul. The last time we met, Brandon had left Google and was investing in new companies he believed in. The man is on a roll.