Alice stretched in the morning light. Her arms high above her head, she woke from the best night’s sleep she’d had, ever.
“Good morning,” Hatter said in the whiskey-roughened voice that made her shiver and her stomach tingle.
“Back atcha.”
He touched her cheek. She’d slept, but a part of her had been aware of his light caresses throughout the night. Her lover. Her Mad Hatter. Her stomach fluttered... Just thinking it was unreal. Who got this lucky? Never her, never geeky little Alice Hu.
And yet here she was. In his bed. With his big, naked body exposed for her to look her fill. He sat next to her, wearing an expression of wonderment, one knee bent and his cock at half-mast. She licked her lips.
“I’m hungry.” She bit her lip.
He frowned, so cute when he did that. He was so clueless. He was looking around; she could almost see the wheels in his head turning as he wondered what she would like.
She laughed and sat up, then wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled it. He still smelled of rain, but also a rich earthy musk that made her body burn.
“I’m very hungry,” she murmured, licking the vein at his neck.
“Oh.” A flash of light manifested above his head, and she knew he finally understood. He wrapped big arms around her and she trembled. “Oh,” he said again, that sexy voice of his dipping to a lower octave. “Well, I’m starving.”
Last night he’d given her the best orgasm of her life. It was only fair she return the favor. Alice straddled him, pushed him down, and watched as the cat-ate-the-canary grin stole across his face. He crossed his arms behind his head.
“I’m at your disposal.”
She bit her lip. “Mmm... what a tempting offer.” She touched the tip of her finger to the center of his chest, feeling him twitch against her thigh.
So large and lovely and perfect. She wanted him in her again. But first...
“Maybe I should kiss you here.” She touched one nipple, and it puckered into a hard bud. The muscles of his stomach strained.
“That would be nice,” he agreed.
“Or maybe”—she batted her lashes and continued her fingertip exploration, circling his navel—“I should kiss you here.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Or...” She grabbed him, giving him a gentle squeeze. “Maybe here.”
His eyes squeezed shut as his head jerked. “Oh gods, Alice. Yes, please, yes.”
Her mouth watered and she scooted back on her heels, unable to wait another second. She brought him to her mouth and brushed her tongue against his slit. He jerked so hard, he nearly pulled out of her grasp. Then his hand was framing the back of her head, guiding her to take his full length.
She took him in with a greedy gulp. His hips twitched, and she knew he wanted to shove in, but he was being patient. Gentle.
She loved him. She knew that now. She always had, there’d never been a question of that. Alice wanted to show him just how much.
Humming, she took him in to the hilt, loving the feel of his silken skin against her tongue. He started murmuring again, and her heart almost exploded from her chest.
“I love you, Alice. Oh gods, Alice, only you. It’s only been you. Never again. No more. Just you. You’re mine. Always, always.”
He was senseless in his ramblings, and she wondered if he even knew what he was saying. She toyed with him, pretending he meant each and every word. Pretending she was that precious to him, that loved and cherished by him.
His legs stiffened. “I’m coming, my love. You might want to pull away.” His words were thick, slurred with lust.
She shook her head, wanting everything he had to give. He shot in her mouth with a loud roar, and it was sweet and creamy. She swallowed with a happy little grin and wiped the back of her mouth with her hand.
He sat up, a look of utter astonishment on his face. “Alice.” He grabbed her, pulled her tight to him. “I... I...”
She never heard what he meant to say; he kissed her.
They stayed in bed for hours, eating, playing, making love. Discovering each other and themselves.
Hours later, sated—for now—they finally ventured from the bed. Hatter was dressed in his outlandish clothes again, and her heart beamed with pride.
“You know,” she said, “you’re all sorts of perfect.”
He smiled, and she saw pleasure in his eyes. “I want to show you something. Will you come?”
She nodded. “I’ll go anywhere with you.” Her hand slipped into his, and they were once again walking through the weird door that led nowhere and everywhere. Suddenly it dawned on her the door took them anywhere. When she’d first gotten here, had she really needed to travel through so many crazy twists and turns? Probably not. She smiled; her crazy, silly Hatter. He’d probably been trying to make her run off, scare her. Alice squeezed his fingers. But she wasn’t the giving-up type, never had been.
When he pulled her through, she looked around, expecting something grandiose, quirky... What she got was a dusty old workshop full of woodworking tools and machines.
His smile was radiant. “This is my refuge.”
He was looking around, and she was looking at him. So different from the moody Hatter she’d first met, now he was bouncing on his feet, gripping her hand like a lifeline while he waited for her to say something.
There were several unfinished pieces around. Something that looked like shelves sat on a far bench, and closest to her, a large chunk of driftwood with a scene etched into its side. She squinted.
The scene was a depiction of trees and nature, but within the copse of trees were rounded shapes. She smiled when she finally recognized it.
“That’s a carnival.” She looked at him. “Like the one on your wall the other night.”
His knuckled her cheeks, brushed against the corner of her lips. She kissed him, and his laugh was relaxed, easy.
Gone was the madness, the mayhem of irony, and the gloom of depression. “As a little boy, my mother used to take me to the fair.” His eyes shone. “I loved the rides, but most especially the giant wheel with lights. Round and round it went.” He shook his head. “I could have ridden it all night.”
She grabbed his hand, turning it over, finally noticing the thick calluses on his palm. She brushed her fingers over it and then brought it to her mouth and kissed each one. Such strong hands, loving hands. A true artist, he’d touched every inch of her with those hands.
She didn’t want to leave. Ignoring the heat starting to gather behind her eyes, she asked, “Why don’t we?”
He took her chin, lifting her eyes to his. “Alice?”
She shook her head and sniffed. “Why don’t we ride all night, Hatter? Eat cotton candy until we’re sick and can’t think anymore?”
He said nothing for a moment, and she knew he sensed her sadness. It was in the way his mouth thinned, his fingers clenched, but he nodded instead. “Yes. Let’s ride, Alice.”
They stepped outside the workshop and, as Alice knew there would be, a Ferris wheel sat tall and stately, waiting just for them.
He led her to a basket, and when they sat, the ride started of its own accord. Lively carnival music filled the woods, and it was so perfect, so wonderful, she wanted to cry.
Her heart was breaking.
This wasn’t fair.
He hugged her, pulling her to his side. The air was sweet with the scents of night.
“Alice.” His voice shook. “I want you to stay.”
She bit her lip and turned her face into his side. Wonderland had not accepted her. Of that she was positive. There’d been no music, no land shaking—her stomach churned—it’d rejected her too.
Then a thought came, and she grabbed the lapel of his multicolored jacket. “Come with me, Hatter. Come back.”
He blinked, his eyes went hooded and she didn’t want him to say no.
“Not forever.” She rushed on. “Just long enough for me to get my life in order. Then we can go anywhere. Anywhere you want. We can be together. I’ll stay here permanently if that’s what you want.”
Already she imagined introducing her crazy boyfriend to her parents, to Tabby, and fought a snicker at the thought. Her conservative parents would flip. Tabby, on the other hand, would probably love him.
“No.”
She jerked. “What?” Alice drew a blank on her thoughts. “No?”
“No.” His jaw clenched, and her stomach dropped like the ride she was on. He couldn’t say no. Hadn’t he just said that he wished she could stay?
“But it’s perfect.” She should stop talking, stop embarrassing herself further, but she had to make him see.
His nostrils flared and he looked away. “I wish...” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Gods,” he moaned. “So many things. So many things, Alice. Please”—and she heard the same desperation in his plea as had been hers—“please stay with me. Don’t go back.”
A lump wedged in her throat. “Hatter, you know I can’t. Not if Wonderland rejects me. Danika told me the ground would rock and the air would sing.” She had no way of knowing if she’d broken it or not, but it didn’t feel like anything monumental had changed. There’d been no songs, no quakes. Which meant another Alice would come.
It was a bleeding-wound type of thought.
He shook his head. “It’s over. I don’t care. Let them come, let a million more come. I won’t have them, any of them.” He touched her chin, forcing her to look up at him.
“I just want you, Alice Hu. You. You, perfect china doll in the white clouds with that beautiful widow’s peak”—he touched her hair—“and your dainty feet, and bow-shaped lips that utter poetry and make me feel... alive.”
Tears started dripping then.
“I—” She sobbed hard, the tears obscuring his face. “Hatter, what are you doing? You know I can’t. I haven’t been—”
“Dammit!” he snarled. “Always no. Always, always no.”
She shook her head. Couldn’t he see she had nothing to do with this? She couldn’t control this—why couldn’t he understand that? Why was he making it so difficult on her? “Hatter, come. With me. Please.” Her words came between stuttered sobs.
“I can’t.” Two simple words, but they rang with the finality of a death knell.
He pulled his arm out from behind her, and Alice couldn’t believe it. Not after last night, this morning, all the heated whispers of love and adoration. He felt something. She knew it.
“We still have time. Please don’t do this yet. Please don’t turn away from me. I have responsibilities, but I love you, Hatter. It’s always been you. Please.”
He closed his eyes, the ride stopped, and he lifted the gate. “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Alice. I will not go and you cannot stay.”
“Stop telling me what I mean,” she snarled. “I’m so sick of you thinking you know me. Thinking you know at all how I feel.”
He didn’t react but simply said, “Love opens the gates, Alice.”
His eyes were distant, and she knew the truth. It was over.
He stood up and started to walk away, then stopped and came back. She thought maybe he’d changed his mind; her heart leaped and she wiped at the tears running freely down her cheeks. She didn’t know why Wonderland still rejected her, but it wasn’t for lack of love. She burned with it.
He took her hair, slipped it through his fingers, and shuddered. “I...” He swallowed and dropped his hand.
Desperate for his touch, unwilling to accept this, she leaned in. It couldn’t be over.
“Good-bye, Alice girl.” Then he turned, head held high, and walked off.
She stood numb, watching the scene unfold with cold detachment, her brain unable to accept the reality of the moment.
What had just happened?
He’d left her.
Why?
She hugged her arms to her body. Her hero. The man who’d saved her life. He’d walked off, never looking back. No kiss. No nothing.
Why couldn’t he have come home with her? She sucked in a breath, body shaking. She’d said she would say good-bye and go anywhere. She’d be happy so long as they were together, it didn’t matter where. Here. Earth. Anywhere.
The tears came harder, fatter, and hotter. She could hardly breathe out of her nose. Blue light shimmered in front of her, and then she stood face-to-face with the door.
Alice looked around. The Ferris wheel was gone; the woodshop was gone. She stood in the middle of an empty field.
Heart miserable, she reached out and took hold of the knob. Her foot was poised above the threshold as the memory of his words to her in the hospital room crowded her mind.
“Everything has beauty,” she said, “but not everyone sees it.” Her stomach hurt; her eyes burned. “I saw you, Hatter.” Her words whispered through the night. “I saw you.”
She walked away.
***
Hatter stood behind the shadow of a tree and watched her walk away, taking the last shreds of his heart with her. She’d lied. Just like the others. Told him she loved him, but she hadn’t. Because Wonderland would have said yes. She’d been perfect. So perfect, his tiny Alice with her piercing eyes and wicked mouth. He trembled, remembering her touch, her tongue.
“I saw you too, Alice.” His words carried like a whisper on the breeze. Wonderland shuddered, the wind sang with a choir of a thousand bells, and the ground swayed.
Hatter gripped the tree and horror blanketed his mind. Wonderland said yes, not because of her words, but because of his.