The news of an Amish family in a neighboring district needing money to pay for the hospital bills after the daed severed his finger while repairing a piece of equipment spread rapidly through Paradise Springs. His two sons had been in the field with him and had swiftly brought help, so there was hope the reattached finger could be saved. Isaiah heard about the accident the next morning when one of his regular customers came in to get his horses reshod. By the time he returned home that evening, Clara had learned about the tragic events from his mamm. Reuben had told her. The family of the injured man was in their bishop’s other district.
By the next morning, someone had come to his brother’s store with a stack of flyers announcing a chicken barbecue to raise money for the family. Amos put the flyers next to the cash register where everyone could see them, and he slipped copies into each bag of groceries when people checked out. The barbecue was going to be held at the school not far from where the man’s family lived, about two miles from the Beachys’ house.
Clara offered to bring her special potato salad along with other favorite dishes, and Isaiah packed a dozen horseshoes for the men to enjoy tossing. The twins were excited to wear the new clothing she’d made for them, and Clara agreed, though the garments would come home with green splotches from playing in the grass. Vinegar would loosen the stains, and she’d made the blue dresses, dark pants and light green shirts as play clothes.
Isaiah hitched up Chip to the family buggy while Clara made sure the older twins were sitting as still as possible while they held covered dishes on their laps. The girls perched on the front seat between Clara and him. Nettie Mae held a package of napkins, and Nancy cuddled a plastic bag filled with paper cups. The youngsters looked serious about their obligations to get what they held to the school without letting it fall.
“All set?” he asked when Clara climbed in, tying her black bonnet over her kapp.
“Ja.”
“Checked the stove and the faucets?”
“Ja. I know the Bible doesn’t say we’re better safe than sorry, but it’s something my mamm taught.”
“Mine, too.” He smiled as he slapped the reins on Chip, and they began driving toward the road.
As they approached the school, the road became crowded with buggies and cars and pickup trucks. It was like a mud sale but in the summer when nobody had to worry about ruining their shoes in the mire.
The aroma of chickens sizzling over a charcoal fire reached Isaiah before he drew the buggy to a halt. In spite of himself, his mouth watered. He hoped his stomach wouldn’t grumble and embarrass him. Parking the buggy where a boy directed, he got out and helped Clara with the kinder before he went to unhitch Chip. The boy who was handling the parking wrote the number thirty-two on the side of the buggy with a piece of chalk, then marked Chip’s halter with the same number before turning him out in a nearby field with the other horses.
By the time he was finished, Clara and the twins had vanished into the crowd. He hoped it wouldn’t take too long to find them after he delivered the horseshoes to the near side of the school where they could set up a game. The kinder’s ball field was on the other side of the building, far enough away to keep everyone safe.
Isaiah drew in another deep breath of the delicious scent of cooking chicken and the unmistakable aromas of lemonade and chocolate. As soon as he found Clara and the kinder, they’d enjoy a gut meal.
He edged through the crowd, greeting those he knew and nodding to the people he didn’t. His steps slowed when he saw Orpha standing by one table and putting out bowls of baked beans. She glanced at him, smiled and turned away to talk to Larry Nissley. Isaiah saw Larry was grinning like a fool. Larry must be the man walking out with Rose’s sister. Orpha was quick-witted, and Larry was quick to speak before he thought. Theirs would be an interesting match, but he wished them well because they looked happy together.
“Having second thoughts?” Daniel and his twin brother Micah joined him. The two dark-haired brothers looked almost identical except Daniel had a cleft in his chin and Micah didn’t.
Isaiah accepted the glass of lemonade Micah held out to him. “Second thoughts about what?”
“Orpha Mast. Word was going around you two would be making an announcement this fall.”
“You know better,” Isaiah said after he took a sip of the fragrant lemonade, “than to listen to rumors.”
“I told you.” Micah nudged his twin with his elbow. “Isaiah planning to marry Orpha was a rumor.”
“But what about the other rumor?” asked Daniel, and his eyes began to twinkle.
“Which rumor would that be?” Isaiah enjoyed his brothers’ teasing. Often when he saw Andrew and Ammon jesting with each other, he thought of how the Stoltzfus siblings always found ways to make each other laugh.
Laugh? How were they going to convince the Beachy kinder it was okay to laugh? He’d tried everything he could think of, and Clara had done the same, but the twins still refused to laugh. When asked why, their answer was the same. They’d been told not to laugh. Who could have done such a thing to young boys and girls?
“I’ll give you a hint,” Micah said. “Starts with C and sounds a lot like Clara Ebersol and you walking out together.”
“Oh, no, not you too.” He gave an emoted groan.
The twins exchanged a glance before Daniel asked, “Us too what?”
“Matchmaking.”
Micah held up his hands. “Whoa there, big brother. All I did was ask if you’d heard the rumor about you two. A simple question.”
Isaiah had to admit his brother was right. He apologized and added, “It seems anywhere I go with Clara and the kinder, someone is trying to make sure we spend time together.”
“I thought you liked her.” Daniel’s dark brows lowered. “Is there some problem with her?”
“No. She’s very nice, but nice isn’t enough to base a marriage on.”
“No?” Daniel began counting off on his fingers. “Ruth’s husband, Elmer, is a nice guy. Joshua’s Rebekah is nice. Ezra’s Leah is nice. Amos’s—”
Isaiah chuckled and held up his hands in surrender. “You don’t have to go through the whole list of our siblings and their spouses to make your point.”
“Gut.”
“But in addition to being nice people, our siblings’ spouses are in love with our brothers and sisters.”
“And Clara is in love with you.” Jeremiah, the brother who was a year younger than Isaiah, said from behind him.
Looking over his shoulder, Isaiah hid his shock. Jeremiah was the quiet one in their family. He spoke only when he believed he had something to add to the conversation. He was the least likely to try to get a rise out of someone or to tease them. If anyone in the family could be described as serious, it was Jeremiah. And Jeremiah was saying Clara was in love with Isaiah, as if it were the least unexpected news in the world.
“She loves the kinder, not me.” Something sliced into his heart at his own words. “Once the twins’ family comes for them, she’ll head home. End of story.”
“Stories often end with happily-ever-after.” Daniel’s smile broadened. Draping an arm over Jeremiah’s shoulders, he said, “I saw ice cream being brought out. You know you’ll want a sample.”
Isaiah was relieved when the two walked away, but was surprised when Micah remained. He liked ice cream as much as Jeremiah did, and they’d often vied to see who could get the last spoonful out of the container.
He waited for his brother to say something, but when Micah remained silent, he asked, “How are you doing, Micah?”
“You know how you’re annoyed about matchmaking?”
“Ja.”
“That’s how irked I get when someone asks me how I am. And there have been a lot asking since Katie Kay Lapp left the community.”
“That’s very irked.”
Micah nodded. “Very, very irked.”
“But how are you?” Isaiah asked, serious. “And I’m not asking because of Katie Kay.”
“I’m fine, and that hasn’t changed because she’s gone. Katie Kay and I were something I thought might work out some day, but it’s not going to happen.”
“Sorry that—”
“Don’t be sorry, Isaiah. I’m not.” He winked and chuckled. “To prove that, I’ll tell you that I’ve noticed Tillie Mast giving me the eye lately. Maybe I’ll see if she needs a ride home tonight.”
“Be careful with a Mast girl. Curtis and Ida Mae are ready to marry them off to anyone who looks at them twice.”
Micah laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “Look who’s talking. The man everyone is talking about. They’re interested in whether you’ll marry Orpha or Clara by year’s end. I’ve been asked about that close to a thousand times.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Ja, but not by much. Hey, it’s my turn to toss horseshoes. See you later, bro.”
Isaiah smiled as his brother crossed the schoolyard to where the horseshoe games were underway. Micah had picked up a lot of Englisch slang while working on various construction projects with Englischers.
Where were Clara and the twins? The crowd seemed to be growing by the minute, and he wanted to make sure those hungry youngsters got fed before the food was gone.
When he found them, the boys were already discussing if they wanted their chicken with the barbecue sauce or without. The girls were more interested in the pretty cakes set in a row on a pair of tables. They smiled, along with Clara, when he suggested they join the line waiting to select what they wanted.
It took him and Clara as well as Neva Fry to get their six plates from the serving line to one of the blankets spread on the grass. He thanked the schoolteacher, who waved and hurried to help other parents with more kinder than hands to load and carry plates.
They enjoyed the delicious meal, and he smiled when the boys asked about getting seconds. Nobody left hungry from an Amish fund-raising meal. He went with the boys to get more chicken and sides. Though he wondered how they’d eat everything, their plates were soon clean again.
“Why don’t we walk around a bit before dessert?” Clara asked when the twins began to discuss which sweets they wanted. “Let what we’ve eaten settle a bit.”
“The best idea I’ve heard in a long time.” Isaiah pushed himself to his feet and smiled as he offered his hand to help her up. When she smiled and let him take her hand, his heart felt lighter than it had in longer than he could recall. Though she withdrew her fingers from his as she turned to help the kinder pick up their plates and forks so they could carry them to one of the long plastic washtubs, she wasn’t scurrying away as she had before.
He was too aware of her fingers close to his as they walked side by side among the crowd. He itched to grasp hold of her slender hand, but he couldn’t be unaware of the eyes following them and the twins. Giving the rumors substance would be the worst thing he could do for her, the twins and himself. Clara would be leaving once the kinder were settled. He couldn’t forget that, but he also knew he’d never forget her.
“Isaiah, can I talk to you for a moment?” came an all-too-familiar voice from behind him.
He turned to see Orpha. “Certainly.”
“If you’ll excuse us,” Clara began, reaching to herd the twins away.
Orpha put out her hand. “No, please stay, Clara. You should hear this, too.”
When Clara bent and whispered something to the twins, they nodded and scampered away toward where his mamm was putting plates of cookies and sliced pieces of pie on a folding table. Isaiah smiled, realizing Ammon had been able to hear Clara’s soft voice as the others did. What a blessing she’d been in the kinder’s lives as well as in his!
“I don’t want to keep you, but I do want to say I’m sorry.” Orpha rubbed her hands together as she looked from him to Clara. “I shouldn’t have taken out my frustration with my parents on the two of you. Neither of you have been anything but kind to me.” She turned to Clara. “What you said at Hersheypark about spreading vitriol made me realize how I was making you into scapegoats. Danki for the reminder that our Lord taught us to treat each other as we’d want to be treated. And I wasn’t, but I’m going to try harder to do that.”
“Danki, Orpha,” she said. “I know it isn’t easy for you to say this.”
“It isn’t, but it’s easier than it would have been if I hadn’t discovered what love is. Real love.” She glanced toward where Larry was pretending not to be watching them. Averting her eyes, she said, “I’m not sure where discovering love will take me. Or when, but I know I’d be foolish to settle for anything less than true love.” A sad smile edged along her lips. “Rose told me that. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“You know we already have,” Isaiah replied as Clara nodded beside him. Now if I could forgive myself. He was glad those words were only in his mind. They sounded pitiful and complaining...and they were. Why wouldn’t his thoughts heed him? Forgiveness was necessary if one wanted to be closer to God.
Did he want to keep a space between him and God? Like Orpha’s anger being spewed at him and Clara, it was the easy way out. But not God’s way for him.
His eye was caught by Reuben coming to stand beside Mamm. She laid a gentle hand on his sleeve. She left it there for the length of time it took Isaiah to blink, but he couldn’t miss the way the bishop slanted toward her. The two motions were as loud as a shout.
Reuben and Mamm were falling in love. No, he corrected himself. They were in love. Their second chance at a once-in-a-lifetime love, a true gift from God. He looked to where his oldest brother Joshua sat with his family and his second wife. Joshua had been granted that wunderbaar gift also.
He heard his brothers’ voices echoing from his memory. They’d believed Clara was in love with him. Was it possible for him to receive the same blessing?
Ja, came the soft voice of his conscience. It’s possible because you’ve already been blessed with the second chance.
He watched Clara assisting the twins to carry their desserts. Dear, sweet Clara who had set aside her life to come to help him and the kinder. She loved the twins without reserve, but, as he’d sensed almost from the beginning, she held back a part of herself from everyone else, including him.
Had God brought her into his life to help him see he could trust the path set out for him? Or was Isaiah supposed to help her heal? It was an unexpected thought and a startling one he needed to consider and pray about, because he’d never guessed that helping her might be the way to help himself.
* * *
Clara swung Nancy’s and Nettie Mae’s hands as they stood in line to wait for ice cream. The little girls bounced from one foot to the other and chattered like squirrels as they discussed which flavor to pick. With the choice of chocolate, chocolate peanut butter, strawberry and vanilla, it wasn’t an easy decision. In addition, they could select chocolate sauce or crushed pineapple to go on top of their scoops.
“What you want, Aenti Clara?” asked Nancy.
“I’m trying to decide between strawberry and vanilla.”
“Want chocolate,” Nettie Mae announced, and people around them grinned.
“Me, too.” Nancy paused, then added, “But peanut butter, too.”
That set off another round of discussion between the little girls. Clara listened with a smile. The conversation would keep them busy while the line inched forward.
Scanning the crowd that had grown larger, she knew the injured man’s family would be grateful for the generosity of those who had donated food and come to share it and time with each other. Clara recognized many people, but more she didn’t. She wondered if the unfamiliar plain folks were from Reuben’s other district. A lot of Englischers had come to the chicken barbecue, as well. She’d met a few of them at Amos’s store or around Paradise Springs, but most were strangers.
A gasp caught in her throat as she stared at a man striding through the crowd as if he were the host of the gathering. It wasn’t possible, was it? She found him again among the crowd. Her eyes weren’t fooling her. Nobody walked through a crowd as Floyd Ebersol did. His head was high, and his eyes scanned those around him as if looking for someone. But she knew the truth. He was keeping track of those who watched him.
Pride was an abomination to the Amish, but not her daed. He wanted to be the center of attention wherever he went. More than once, he’d said he hoped the lot would fall on him, so he could serve as an ordained minister or deacon. He’d admitted to aspiring to be a bishop, though she doubted he could be as humble as their bishop or Reuben Lapp was.
She looked around, but didn’t see her mamm. It wasn’t a big surprise, because Mamm had seldom left the house since she’d broken her hip. She now walked with a painful limp. Many times Clara had wanted to ask her mamm if she stayed in the house, except for chores, because Daed didn’t want to share any attention with her. Clara prayed it wasn’t because her daed deemed Mamm unworthy of being seen with him because she hobbled.
Reaching the front of the line, she focused on helping the girls order their ice cream. She shook her head when asked if she wanted some, too. She couldn’t imagine putting anything in her roiling stomach. As she turned to lead Nancy and Nettie Mae to a spot where they could eat their ice cream before it melted on their clothes, she saw her daed walking in her direction with a determined expression.
“Go and sit with the boys,” she said to the twins. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
With grins already colored pink and brown from their ice cream, the two girls obeyed. She watched, and they’d reached the boys just as her daed stopped in front of her.
“Clara,” he said as a greeting.
“How are you doing, Daed? Is Mamm here? I didn’t realize you were coming. You should have...” Her voice faded when his brows lowered in his customary frown. This time she deserved his silent censure. She’d been babbling.
“I hear you’re being courted by a minister.” He didn’t let her reply before he said, “Of course, you must not make a mess of this as you did with Lonnie Wickey.”
Reminding her daed that nothing she’d done had led to Lonnie marrying another woman would be a waste of breath. “No,” she said in the calmest tone she could muster, “I’m not being courted by a minister. Isaiah Stoltzfus, who is the guardian of the kinder I’m taking care of, is a minister, it’s true, but we aren’t walking out together.”
“You should encourage him. A minister would be a gut match for you, and as a widower, he must be eager to wed and would likely overlook what happened with your previous betrothal.”
Clara was shocked speechless. In spite of his chiding about her shortcomings, she hadn’t expected her daed to think her unworthy of being loved for herself.
“Floyd Ebersol?” asked Isaiah from behind her.
She closed her eyes. How much of her daed’s comments had he overheard? She wished the ground would open right where she stood and swallow her.
“Ja?” Daed squinted at Isaiah. Did he need glasses as Nettie Mae did? If he thought they made him look old or less dignified, he’d eschew them as the little girl had tried to. “You are?”
“Isaiah Stoltzfus.” He smiled as if no tension hung in the air. “I want to tell you, Floyd, that your daughter has been a blessing. She has been a great help with the twins. Danki for allowing her to come and help us. Her kindness toward us speaks well of her upbringing.”
Clara was astonished as Isaiah continued, saying what Daed would want to hear. Each time Isaiah praised her, he made it sound as if her daed was the reason she’d done well. In a way, it was true, because she’d treated the twins as she’d prayed he would treat her. With love and understanding instead of impatience and unreasonable expectations.
Her daed preened, accepting Isaiah’s words as his due, and he smiled when Isaiah said, “I’m sorry to take Clara away from you, but we need to check on the twins.”
“Of course.” He waved them away.
Clara kept her feet from sending her running away at top speed. Instead, she walked beside Isaiah. When he glanced over his shoulder, she did the same and saw her daed talking with another man.
Isaiah grabbed her arm and pulled her behind the school. Sitting her on the back steps, he sat beside her. She started to rise, saying she had to check on the twins, but he halted her.
“Leah and Mandy are watching them. They’ll be fine.” He brushed a strand of hair from her face. “But what about you? How are you?”
“I’m okay, too.”
“You looked pretty upset, so I decided to butt in. I figured I owed you for when you saved me from Orpha’s machinations, but I was surprised when someone said the man you were talking to was your daed.”
“Danki.” She looked at her folded hands. If she said more, the jagged tears in her throat might burst out in sobs.
“Be honest with me, Clara.”
“I am.”
He shook his head. “Not about why seeing your daed upsets you.”
Raising her head, she asked, “How much did you hear of what he said?”
“Not much. With everyone around, it’s hard enough to hear myself, let alone anyone else.” He put one hand over her clasped hands. “What are you afraid I heard?”
“Not afraid. Ashamed.”
“Ashamed? You? Clara Ebersol, you’re the most loving, generous person I’ve ever met. You’ve put your life on hold to help strangers with bereaved kinder, and you’ve helped those kinder begin to heal. What could a person like you be ashamed of?”
She should put a halt to the conversation, but her heart demanded to unburden itself to someone she could trust. “My daed expects me to be perfect.”
“Nobody is perfect.”
“Floyd Ebersol’s daughter must be. He won’t let me forget what he sees as my greatest failure because he believes it reflects on him, too.”
“What failure?”
Clara plunged into the story of how she’d been courted by Lonnie Wickey, the promises made and the promises broken. It took less time to tell than she’d guessed.
“But where did you fail?” Isaiah asked when she was done.
“I failed in my daed’s eyes by humiliating my family. I wish I could make him see I never want to do anything to hurt him and Mamm.”
He lifted her hands between his and sighed. “There are some battles you’ll never win.”
“So I should give up?”
He shook his head. “No, but you should accept what’s impossible to change. And it appears your daed is one of those unchangeable parts of your life.”
“Danki, Isaiah. I guess I’ve got a lot of lessons to learn.”
“All of us do.” His gaze searched her face, and she wondered what he was looking for and if it was there. “We need to keep learning until we take our last breath because life is challenging.”
“How did you get so wise?”
“Hard lessons.” He released her hands and framed her face with his large hands.
His mouth found hers, silencing any protests before they could form, though she didn’t want to be anywhere but with him. His kiss was gentle, and she curved her arms around his shoulders as he deepened the kiss until quivers rippled through her. How could she have thought his kiss would be like anyone else’s? It was beyond wunderbaar.
When he raised his head, she remained where she was. She traced one of his pale brows with a single fingertip. He smiled before pressing his lips to her palm. That was sweet, but not what she yearned for. She drew his mouth to hers. He held her close until she couldn’t guess if the frantic heartbeat was hers or his.
He lifted his mouth away again. This time abruptly. The softness vanished from his face as dismay filled his eyes. Standing, he didn’t look at her. “I’m sorry, Clara. I shouldn’t have done that.”
She didn’t rise as she wrapped her arms around herself, fearing she’d fall to pieces in front of him. Sorry? Did he mean kissing her was a mistake?
Fool! That’s what you are. A second man is saying he made a mistake after he kissed you!
“Don’t worry, Isaiah,” she said, staring at the ground. “It won’t change anything.” Her words were the truth. She’d felt like an idiot when she came to Paradise Springs because she’d fallen for a handsome man who acted as if he loved her. When she left Paradise Springs, she’d feel the same way...for a different handsome man.
No, this pain was far deeper because her love for Isaiah was far stronger than anything she’d experienced with Lonnie.
The shadow of his hand moved toward her, then jerked away. She closed her eyes, but the sound of his steps disappearing around the side of the school were like blows against her heart. She hung her head and wept.