“Welcome home, Lord Hades!” said Charon, the old ferryman, as he poled me back across the River Styx to my kingdom.

“Thank you, Charon.” I sighed as I put a gold coin into his hand and drove my steeds off the ferry. Not that I wasn’t glad to be home. I was! And I couldn’t wait to greet Persephone when she came home the following day. But it was hard—very hard—leaving Hercules and his crew up on earth to go on their next adventure without me.

There was only one thing that could have cheered me up right then, and here he came, bounding toward my chariot—my own underdog, Cerberus. He ran and leaped into my lap, giving me the old triple face-lick.

“Ah, Cerbie,” I said. “I’ve missed you, too. You’re my fine dog, dog, dog.”

It turned out to be a wonderful winter. Persephone and I hung out in the great room, reading in front of the fire. We took long walks in Elysium among the apple trees. We had several excellent dinners at the Underworld Grill. Yet every time my phone rang, I half hoped it would be Hydra, saying that Hercules needed me. But all winter long, she never called.

When spring rolled around, I drove Persephone back up to earth.

“So long, Hades,” Persephone said when I dropped her off at the little apartment she kept in Athens. “It was a cozy winter, don’t you think?”

“Perfect,” I told her. When she was settled in, I drove to Mycenae to look for Hercules. I found him, Cee, and Hydra as they were leaving the city.

Cee told me that Hercules had finished two labors all on his own. I couldn’t believe it. For Labor VII, he and his buddies went to Crete, where a bull belonging to King Minos had gone mad and was running wild, stampeding everything in sight. Hercules chased down the bull and had a good, long talk with him in Cow. Then, just for show, he slung him over his shoulders and paraded through the streets of Knossos all the way to King Minos’s palace. The crowds cheered him like crazy. At least that’s the way Hercules told it.

I wasn’t all that sorry that I’d missed Labor VIII. Hercules had to get rid of the Mares of King Diomedes. All they knew about this king was that he was very fond of music. And that he fed his mares on the flesh of mortals, which turned them into savage beasts. (Is it power that makes so many mythological kings total whackos? Or are they born that way? I’ve never been able to decide.)

In any case, Hercules showed up on Diomedes’s doorstep. When the king came to the door, Hercules began singing. “Do re me fo foo fee foooo!”

The music-loving Diomedes clapped his hand over his ears and ran away from the awful screeching. Hercules chased him to the seashore, singing all the way. The king plunged into the sea and was last seen doing the backstroke off the coast of what later became Spain.

Meanwhile, Cee gathered the mares together, fed them some oats, barley, carrots, flaxseed—a totally healthful vegetarian diet. In only a few days they calmed down and were content to graze and nibble grass.

“We just picked up Labor IX,” Hercules told me. “I don’t have to bring Eury any weird monster this time. All I have to do is get this queen’s girdle. Piece of cake. Come on!”

“Whose girdle?” I asked, falling into step with them.

“Hippo—” He turned to Cee. “Hippo who?”

“Hippolyta,” Cee said. “Queen of the Amazons.”

I frowned. “I don’t like it.”

“What’s wrong?” said Hercules. “I can just ask her for her girdle. It’ll be easy!”

“Too easy,” I grumbled. “There must be a catch.”

I went with them as far as the harbor. It was the off season, so they got an amazingly good deal on renting a big cruise ship, the Warrior Princess, complete with crew. They got ready to sail it to the land of the Amazons. I avoid boat travel whenever possible, so I put on my Helmet of Darkness. POOF! And—ZIP!—astro-traveled to Amazon Harbor.

I arrived early so I could check out the place. I’d heard about the land of the Amazons, where women ruled and men did all the household chores, but I’d never been there myself. I walked along a riverbank. It was lined with men. Some of them had waded into the water and were washing clothes. Others were beating clothes with rocks—an early form of stain removal. Still other men were laying clothes out on rocks to dry. I walked on to the village. There, men had built fires and set cooking pots over them. They stood stirring the pots, jiggling toddlers on their hips, exchanging recipes, and talking about how they hoped the women would return from their hunt with plenty of game.

After a few days, I heard the men talking excitedly over their cooking pots about a large cruise ship that had been seen heading for the harbor. I went to meet it—invisibly of course. As Hercules and company rowed from the ship, an army of female warriors gathered on the shore. This was the first I’d seen of them. They were all tall and blond. They wore the skins of wild beasts and carried big brass bows and half-moon-shaped shields. Each had a quiver of arrows slung over her shoulder.

Leading the troops stood an Amazon who was a head taller than any of the others. She had on a sleeveless fur tunic that hit her just above the knees. Around her waist she wore a wide golden girdle. No wonder Eury had asked Hercules to get it for him. It was a stunner, set with diamonds, emeralds, and pearls. I wondered if she’d give it up so easily.

“Greetings, strangers!” the tall Amazon called as Hercules, Cee, and Hydra climbed out of the rowboat and waded ashore. “I am Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons.”

Hercules stared at her and smiled a goofy smile. Hippolyta was as tall as he was. Her sleeveless outfit showed off some nice-sized biceps. It wasn’t hard to tell what Hercules was thinking: here was a girl he could arm wrestle!

“Why have you come to our shore?” asked Hippolyta.

Hercules continued to smile his goofy smile.

Cee stepped forward. “Greetings, Queen!” he said. “We come in peace!”

“Awwww!” came a chorus of disappointed groans from Hippolyta’s troops. Clearly they’d been hoping to fight a big battle against these strangers.

Hippolyta turned to her warriors. “Troops, dis-MISS!”

The warriors turned and marched off toward the village.

Hippolyta turned back to Hercules. “How about giving me a tour of your boat?”

“No problem!” said Hercules.

The two of them raced to the rowboat.

“We’re coming, too!” shouted Cee. Hydra jumped on his back, and they took off after Hercules.

After a little disagreement about who would row, Hippolyta sat down, picked up the oars, and rowed quickly to the Warrior Princess. No one suspected that there was an invisible fifth passenger aboard—me.

When we reached the ship, everyone climbed up a rope ladder. I followed right behind.

Hercules gave a quick tour of the ship. “These are the masts,” he said, pointing.

“Tall,” said Queen Hippolyta.

“And these are the decks,” said Hercules.

“Flat,” said Queen Hippolyta. “Rowing made me hungry. What’s to eat?”

A crew member served them lunch. Hercules and Hippolyta sat down and dug in. I hovered invisibly nearby, helping myself when I saw the chance. After some small talk about how many push-ups he could do, and how many chin-ups she could do, Hercules got down to business.

“I picked the hard path in life,” he began.

“Can I have more chips?” said Hippolyta.

“So I have to do XII practically impossible labors,” said Hercules.

“Pass the pickles,” said Hippolyta.

“I’ve run off monsters and cleaned out really yucky stables,” said Hercules.

“If you don’t want those last cheese curls, I’ll take them,” said Hippolyta, reaching.

“For Labor IX I’m supposed to get your girdle,” said Hercules.

“Waa huuuurgle?” Hippolyta swallowed her cheese curls. “My girdle? But why?”

Hercules shrugged. “That’s just what it said on the slip of parchment. I’m supposed to get your girdle and take it to the king of Mycenae.”

“I don’t know,” Hippolyta frowned. “This girdle was a present from Ares. You know, god of war? Would you bring it back?”

“I could try,” said Hercules.

“Okay,” said Hippolyta. She unfastened her golden girdle and handed it to Hercules.

Hercules smiled. “I told Hades this was going to be easy.”

Hippolyta shrugged as she grabbed another handful of chips. “If I don’t get it back, my warriors and I will sail to Mycenae, set fire to the city, kidnap the king, and bring him back here to scrub the palace floors.”

“Sounds fair to me,” said Hercules.

Then they settled down to do some serious eating.

Hippolyta looked up first. “What’s that noise?” she asked.

Hercules listened. “It sounds like an army rowing this way with clinking spears and clanking battle-axes.”

They jumped up and ran to the side of the boat. I was right on their heels. The harbor was filled with Amazon rowboats! Each boat was filled with Amazon warriors. They were brandishing spears and battle-axes and shouting: “Surrender, Hercules!”