I felt bad for Hercules, being banished and all. So I put on my helmet and stuck around—just in case he needed me.

That night, Hercules brushed his teeth, as usual. He put on his PJs. He was climbing into bed when he spied the note. He picked it up and began sounding out the words.

“Awesome!” he said when he’d read the whole thing and looked at the map Amphitryon had drawn on the back.

Right away, he started packing. He didn’t wait for morning, but set off in the moonlight, following the map. I set off with him, though he didn’t know it at the time.

Hercules walked for three whole nights and three whole days. Even though he was only ten, he was bigger than most men. And many times stronger. So he felt completely safe out on his own.

On the morning of the fourth day, Hercules came to a farm. It was out in the middle of nowhere, just as Amphitryon had said.

“Whoa!” said Hercules. He looked very surprised. Was this where he was supposed to have an adventure? He knocked at the farmhouse door.

“You must be Hercules,” said his stepfather’s second cousin, when he opened it. “Welcome! You look like a good worker. Let’s get you started, shall we?”

“Let him eat breakfast first, Humus,” said his wife.

“Have it your way, Pita,” said Humus.

Humus and Pita laid out a huge spread of dairy products from their cows: cottage cheese, cream cheese, yogurt, and butter. Hercules ate a big breakfast. I managed to snag a piece of cheese for myself. I sprinkled on some of my Ambro-Salt, and it wasn’t half bad. When Hercules was finished eating, Humus and Pita walked him out to the barn.

Hercules patted the first big black-and-white cow he came to. “Nice cow,” he said. “Can I take care of this one?”

“You get to take care of the whole herd,” said Humus.

Hercules looked down on the row of stalls. There were hundreds of cows. Hercules smiled. “No problem!”

I stuck around for a couple of weeks. I waited until Hercules got into a routine. Each morning, he fed the cows hay. Then he led them to the pasture to graze. While the cows were grazing, Hercules mucked out the barn. This was no small task, as it was a huge barn with lots and lots of muck.

In the evening, Hercules put out fresh hay for the cows. He filled their troughs with fresh water. After that, he went to the pasture and led his cows back to the barn for the night. He sat with them until they fell asleep. Then Hercules climbed into his own bed, which was in the barn, and fell asleep, too.

Life on the farm wasn’t much of a surprise adventure. But Hercules liked the cows. He never complained.

Princess Alcmene and Amphitryon never told anyone where Hercules was going. Not that anyone asked. Everyone seemed just as happy to have him out of the way. I figured Hera would have a hard time finding out where he was. I felt the boy was safe out on the farm, so I took off.

Hercules stayed on the farm and took care of the cattle for eight years. I checked on him from time to time. Humus and Pita grew fat and lazy, letting Hercules do all the work. But Hercules grew stronger and stronger.

One day when I stopped by to check on Hercules, Pita had just handed him a letter that had come for him. I read it over his shoulder:

Dear Hercules,

Happy birthday, Son! You are eighteen today. We’ll bet your little temper problems are a thing of the past.

Now the time has come for you to decide what path you will follow when you go out into the world. Stop by the palace and see us sometime!

 

Your loving parents

 

Hercules scratched his head. “What do they mean ‘go out into the world’?”

“That’s what they said?” asked Pita, alarmed.

“They don’t mean it!” said Humus. “Forget going out into the world!”

“Stay here, Hercules,” said Pita. “You can have all the yogurt you want.”

Hercules nodded. But I could tell he was puzzled. I followed invisibly behind him as he headed out to the pasture. He sat down among the cows. He pulled up a handful of grass and chewed on it while he thought.

I was just about to take off my helmet and have a chat with Hercules when I saw two tall women walking toward him. Ye gods! Where had they come from? I decided to stay invisible.

Hercules saw them, too. He blinked. His mouth gaped open in surprise.

The women stopped before him. Both were very beautiful. One wore a plain white robe. The other wore a fancy red robe with way too much gold trim.

“Greetings, Hercules!” said the one in the red-and-gold robe.

Hercules almost choked on his grass. “How do you know my name?”

“We know all about you,” said the white-robed woman. “You are trying to choose which path in life to follow.”

“Whoa!” exclaimed Hercules. “You do know everything. Can you help me?”

“That’s why we’re here.” The white robed woman smiled.

Who were these two? I’d never seen them before. Neither had a goddess glow. But they didn’t look like mortals, either. I didn’t trust them.

“Follow my path, Hercules,” said the red-robed woman. “You will always eat good food and drink fine wine. You will have servants. You will never have to work hard. You will have piles and piles of gold. What fun you shall have!”

“Fun!” said Hercules. “Whoa!”

“Follow my path, Hercules,” said the white-robed woman. “On this path, you will help those who cannot help themselves. You will do backbreaking labor. You will work and sweat and toil. Then you will work and sweat and toil some more. Horrible monsters will try to kill you. You will almost always be in terrible danger. But the gods will respect you.”

“Respect,” said Hercules. “Whoa!”

“You must choose, Hercules,” said the red-robed woman.

“Which path will you follow?” said the one in white.

“Let me think,” said Hercules. He didn’t say anything for the longest time. The two women looked at each other.

“We thought this might happen,” said the white-robed woman.

“So we each wrote a list for you,” said the red-robed woman.

They handed their lists to Hercules. Here’s what they said:

Hercules sounded out the words on the lists. Then he smiled. “It’s a no-brainer,” he said. “I choose the hard path.”

“You’re kidding!” said both women at the same time. “Why?”

“All I’ve had to eat for the past VIII years is cheese,” said Hercules. “I can’t take any more.”

I slapped my invisible forehead with my invisible hand. Hercules was letting cheese determine his fate?

“Is that your final answer?” asked the white-robed woman.

Hercules nodded.

The white-robed woman burst out laughing.

“I won! I won!”

“Oh, don’t rub it in,” said the red-robed woman. She glared at Hercules. “Are you ever going to be sorry!”

“Come on!” said the white-robed woman. “Let’s go tell Hera!”

Hera! Had she sent these women?

I jumped to my feet, but I was too late.

POOF! The women vanished into thin air.