Book 2 in the ROSS O’CARROLL-KELLY series
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly, The Teenage Dirtbag Years
(As told to Paul Howard)
So there I was, roysh, class legend, schools rugby legend, basically an all-round legend, when someone decides you can’t, like, sit the Leaving Cert three times. Well that put a focking spanner in the works. But joining the goys at college wasn’t the mare I thought it would be, basically for, like, three major reasons: beer, birds and more birds. And for once I agree with Fionn about the, like, education possibilities. I mean, where else can you learn about ‘Judge Judy’, fake IDs and how to order a Ken and snog a bird at the same time? I may be beautiful, roysh, but I’m not stupid and this much I totally know: college focking ROCKS!
Book 3 in the ROSS O’CARROLL-KELLY series
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly, The Orange Mocha-Chip
Frappuccino Years
(As told to Paul Howard)
So there I was, roysh, enjoying college life, college birds and, like, a major amount of socialising. Then, roysh, the old pair decide to mess everything up for me. And we’re talking TOTALLY here. Don’t ask me what they were thinking. I hadn’t, like, changed or treated them any differently, but the next thing I know, roysh, I’m out on the streets. Another focking day in paradise for me. If it hadn’t been for Fionn’s aportment in Killiney, the old man paying for my Golf GTI, JP’s old man’s job offer and all the goys wanting to buy me drink, it would have been, like, a complete mare. TOTALLY. But naturally roysh, you can never be sure what life plans to do to you next. At least, it came as a complete focking surprise to me.
Book 4 in the ROSS O’CARROLL-KELLY series
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly, PS, I Scored the Bridesmaids
(As told to Paul Howard)
So there I was, roysh, twenty-three years of age, still, like, gorgeous, living off my legend as a schools rugby player, scoring the birds, being the man, when all of a sudden, roysh, life becomes a total mare. I don’t have a Betty Blue what’s wrong, but I can’t eat, can’t sleep. I don’t even want to do the old beast with two backs, which means a major problem, and we’re talking big time here. Normally my head is so full of, like, thoughts, but now I’m down to just one: Sorcha. I’m playing it Kool and the Gang, but this is basically scary. I mean, I’m Ross O’Carroll-Kelly for fock’s sake, I don’t do love.