Motl smiles as he opens out his arms to his squealy children.
‘Daaaaaaaad?
Back. Just as he promised. Your heart hurts with love. The sight of that little huddle; it, too, is riveted within you; it will never be lost.
Pre-Salt Cottage, when he’d stay out late with mates, you used to panic as the hours ticked on past midnight; perhaps he’s dead, been mugged, you’d think. Then you’d weigh up your world without him and a part of you would breathe out in relief: ‘Ah, free again.’ To be the woman you once were; to run your life as you want. Decorate the house your way entirely, eat like a single woman, give the kids cereal for dinner, discipline them with no one to counter it. But the sweetness of that moment when you heard the key in the lock! Back, safe. The person who understands you more than any other in your life. As eccentric as you despite being complete opposites, and if you didn’t have him you wouldn’t have anyone else.
And now, and now. You hover a touching, it hurts. He’s changed, you frown. A beard and he’s never had that. It alters him completely. ‘I know’ — he throws up his hands in disgust — ‘I’m a prisoner in my face.’ He tries to scrabble it off as the children climb all over him. But he looks wrong. It isn’t just the whiskers — he looks like a child someone has dressed too fast. The coat is buttoned into holes that don’t match, the socks are different colours, the hair is unbrushed. He’s lost weight. He’s filthy But most wrong of all is the light: it’s gone from his eyes. Like he’s been snuffed. He’s never been this.
‘Are you okay … Dad?’ Mouse asks.
Motl grins. ‘It’s been a mighty long journey to get to you lot. But hey, I’m here. And soon we’ll be out of this place. I just need a quick kip, and then we’re off!’
Mouse hugs him tight. Hugs into him all his relief and joy and hope. Feel this, says his fierce press. Our whole future is in it. You drop to your knees; prayer is gratitude, oh yes. He’s a wonderful father, always has been. They’ll be all right, they’ll be all right.
Twenty of you who stand firm shall vanquish two hundred.