CHAPTER 8
“I am a tiny candle, not large or bright at all, but if I pass my flame around, there’s light enough for all.”
Mammi nudged Titus with her elbow, and Titus nearly jumped out of his skin, which would not have been appropriate at the school Christmas program. “That’s my great-granddaughter,” Mammi said, smiling like a goat with a mouthful of spent barley.
Titus nodded his agreement. His niece Sadie had to be the smartest eight-year-old in Bonduel. She wasn’t shy about reciting her lines clear and loud, and she didn’t falter on one word. When Titus was a little boy, he’d often been assigned to be the poster holder in the school Christmas programs. He wasn’t real gute with memorization.
The other children recited their lines, and then the seventh graders sang, “This Little Light of Mine” while the next group of children filed to the front. Titus craned his neck to see Adam Wengerd kneeling in front of the scholars with a script in hand, ready to help anyone who forgot their lines.
Titus clamped down on his toothpick.
He tried not to harbor ill will for Adam, but his patience was sorely tried sometimes. Two days ago, Adam had shown up on Huckleberry Hill and offered to help Titus make bakery deliveries. Katie’s face had lit up like a homemade butter candle. Once they got down the hill and onto the main road, Adam had grinned smugly, taken his own baked goods, and walked home, leaving Titus to finish the deliveries. Titus hadn’t minded doing the deliveries by himself. He usually did. But he had felt a little cross about Adam taking credit for it.
Then he’d been forced to go to the bishop’s house and confess to having bad thoughts about one of his fellow men. The bishop had told him not to worry, but Titus still did. He should not be having such feelings about Katie’s boyfriend. Adam was a boy in love. He was trying to impress Katie the best way he knew how.
Adam was a wonderful nice boy who knew how to put on a wonderful-gute school Christmas program. The difficulty was that Titus was in love with Adam’s girlfriend, and there didn’t seem a gute way around that, not if he didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings.
What Titus thought really didn’t matter. Adam’s wishes didn’t even matter all that much. What Katie wanted was most important, and she seemed to like Adam just fine. There was no way a dull-witted boy like Titus had a chance of attracting her attention or her approval. He shouldn’t covet, but it didn’t seem fair that Adam should get all the triple chocolate cake and Katie Gingerich. Oy, anyhow, the ache in his chest nearly made him swallow his toothpick.
Titus squinted at the children singing a happy Christmas song in the front of the classroom.
It was time to step back.
But how could he step back if he’d never really stepped forward? Maybe he should hole up in Mammi and Dawdi’s barn writing poetry until Katie went back to Augusta with her fiancé and her garlic press.
The only gute thing about the school program, besides his niece Sadie, was that Katie sat right next to Titus and had smiled in his direction more than once. She had a wonderful pretty smile, and he liked the way her eyelashes nearly touched her cheeks every time she blinked. But he should really stop looking, because he’d made up his mind to step back.
Katie leaned over and whispered to him. “I like the part about the Christmas recipe.”
The scholars sang “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” as their final number, and the parents and guests clapped with great enthusiasm.
Once the program was over, Adam announced that refreshments would be served. Three or four maters brought out plates of cookies and dried fruit, and another mater poured soda and sherbet into the punch bowl.
Katie smiled up at Titus. “That was a wunderbarr program. I know where Sadie got her singing voice.”
Titus couldn’t do anything but stare at her and smile back. Her pretty face always struck him momentarily dumb.
“She got it from Felty,” Mammi said, winking at Dawdi. “He sings like he learned from the birds.”
Dawdi shook his head. “Annie-banannie, you’re making that up.”
“I brought cookies,” Katie said. “Peanut blossoms.”
Titus’s ears perked up. “Do you think anyone would notice if I stole the whole plate?” He could take them to the barn and eat them while he drowned his sorrows in poetry.
“Now, Titus,” Mammi said. “Everyone should have a chance to enjoy Katie’s cookies.”
Parents and scholars crowded the eats table, visiting and filling their plates with the many varieties of cookies Amish fraas had made for the program.
Many of the families were Katie’s customers. Titus introduced her to the ones she hadn’t met yet, and she was instantly everyone’s best friend.
“Katie, we love your cookies.”
“Levi Junior eats his green beans when we promise him a piece of your chocolate cake.”
“Adam is a lucky boy, for sure and certain.”
“My mamm used to make bread like yours.”
Katie was a little shy, but Mammi and Dawdi stayed close by, and she seemed pleased that so many people loved her bakery. She deserved to hear it firsthand. Titus heard it all the time.
Families started to leave, and the crowd in the small schoolhouse thinned.
“Shall we go, Katie?” Mammi said. “It looks like it’s going to make down hard with snow.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t drive you here,” Titus said. He was sorry for more than one reason—the biggest being that he would have been able to spend more time with Adam’s almost-fiancée—even though he was resolved to take a step back.
Katie took a long drink of Christmas punch. “I suppose I should go tell Adam good-bye before we leave.”
Mammi’s eyes sparkled like headlights on Highway 29. “I suppose you should, dear.”
Katie caught her breath. “I almost forgot, Titus. I have something for you in the buggy.”
“For me?”
“Jah. Wait here, and I’ll go get it.”
“I’ll come with you,” Titus said. Even though he was stepping back, he couldn’t let Katie march out into the cold winter’s night by herself. “So you won’t be lonely.”
Katie grinned at him, which made him reconsider stepping back. “You’re about the nicest boy I ever met.”
He helped her on with her coat, and she pulled something bright yellow from her pocket and wrapped it around her neck. It was a scarf with big, googly eyes on either end. “It’s a Minion scarf,” she said. “Your mammi made it for me. Isn’t it cute?”
“What’s a Minion?”
“I don’t know. She said it’s to go with your Viking beanie.”
Katie led the way to Mammi and Dawdi’s buggy, slid open the door, and pulled out a square pan covered with plastic wrap. Whatever was in that pan was creamy white with chocolate sprinkles. Chocolate sprinkles were about his favorite thing in the whole world.
Katie handed Titus the pan. It was heavy. “This is for you,” she said, pressing her lips together. “I am wonderful sorry about all the cakes I should have baked you but didn’t. You take bakery orders and make all the deliveries, and then you had to pretend to be Frank to get anything for yourself.”
Titus’s heart beat as if a giant cow were tromping around his chest in work boots. She’d made it for him, not Adam or Mammi or even Frank.
“It’s called Chocolate Wonder,” Katie said. “You have to eat it with a fork or a spoon because it’s very messy.”
“Are those real or fake chocolate sprinkles on top?”
She shrugged her shoulders coyly. “Real.”
He gasped in amazement. Real chocolate sprinkles. He’d sure picked an inconvenient time to step back.
“Katie!” Adam clomped down the schoolhouse steps.
Titus stifled a groan. Couldn’t Adam see that they were having an important conversation about real and fake chocolate?
“Hey, kid,” Adam said, giving Titus a light punch on the arm. Adam was a real nice guy, but Titus nearly lost his toothpick every time Adam called him “kid.” Then he practically turned his back on Titus to smile at Katie. “What did you think of the program, Katie? I put that recipe part in just for you.”
Titus didn’t want to think ill of anyone, but that was the exact same program they had done last year. He spit the toothpick out of his mouth. Better to be toothpick-less than to choke on it.
Katie gave one of her best smiles to Adam. Jah. It was gute Titus had thrown away that toothpick. “It was a wunderbarr program, Adam. You had them so well organized. Nobody missed any lines or anything.”
Adam nodded as if he expected no less. “Not to brag, but Reuben Weaver says I’m the finest teacher this school has ever had.” He glanced at the pan in Titus’s hand. “What is this? A present for me?”
“It’s Chocolate Wonder,” Katie said.
Adam scrunched his lips together. “Milk or dark chocolate?”
Titus tilted the pan slightly so Adam could see the sprinkles better. “They’re real chocolate.”
“It’s milk chocolate.” Katie studied Adam’s expression as if waiting for his approval.
Adam nearly shouted. “Yes! I love milk chocolate.”
“I made it for Titus as a thank-you for making my deliveries all month.”
Adam’s elation died like a mosquito under a swatter. “It’s not for me?”
Uncertainty filled Katie’s eyes as she shook her head. “I . . . I made that plate of cookies for you for the program tonight.”
Adam’s lips drooped lower. “But they’re all gone. Besides, those weren’t really for me. They were for the parents. Didn’t you think to bring anything for me?”
“I . . . I guess just the cookies,” Katie said weakly, as if it was her fault they’d all been eaten.
Titus couldn’t let Katie take the blame for that. “I ate your share, Adam. And Katie’s share, too. They were wonderful-gute.”
“I’ve never tasted Chocolate Wonder,” Adam said. “Why didn’t you make me any Chocolate Wonder?”
“I suppose I was thinking of what Titus might like yet.”
Adam stuck out his lower lip. “How could you think of Titus and not your boyfriend? I really want that Chocolate Wonder.” He turned to Titus as if he were on the attack, even though he smiled as if they were buddies. Titus straightened his shoulders. They were buddies. They’d played softball together in school. “Don’t you agree that Katie’s boyfriend should get the special dessert, especially since you ate all my cookies?”
Titus glanced at Katie, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking because she was looking down at her shoes. “I don’t want to cause any trouble.”
Adam tugged the pan from Titus’s fingers and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. “Then you won’t mind if I take the Chocolate Wonder, will you, kid? After all, I’m Katie’s boyfriend. You’re just the boy who takes care of Anna’s goat and writes poems.”
Titus nodded dumbly, because he couldn’t think of a gute reason that Adam shouldn’t get the Chocolate Wonder. He almost couldn’t bear seeing his special dessert in the wrong hands, but Adam was the boyfriend. The boyfriend should get the Chocolate Wonder and all of Katie’s smiles. Titus was just a glorified goatherd.
But wait a minute. How did Adam know Titus wrote poetry? Had Katie told him?—because Titus didn’t share that talent with just anybody. He hadn’t shared that talent with anybody but Katie.
“But . . . Adam,” Katie protested weakly. “I can make you another Chocolate Wonder. Titus deserves this.”
“And you deserve this,” Adam said, kneeling down on one knee and setting Titus’s Chocolate Wonder on the ground next to him. He fished in his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of notebook paper and one of the gold stars that had been hanging on the bulletin board in the school.
Katie took a small step backward. Titus couldn’t move a muscle.
Adam unfolded the paper and started reading. “Katie’s eyes are chocolate brown. They shine just like a star. I think about her all the time, whether she be near or far. I hope that she will smile at me and bake me one more cake. If I am left here all alone, I know my heart will break.”
Titus’s lungs were so tight, he couldn’t have taken a breath if his life depended on it.
Well, his life did depend on it, so he drew in a breath as if he was sucking from a straw.
Adam Wengerd had stolen his poem!
Adam had probably been sneaking around the barn and found where Titus hid his poetry. Titus was truly grateful he’d discarded his toothpick. He was so shocked, he would have swallowed it, and he would have come down with a very bad stomachache. Titus couldn’t utter a word, not even when Katie pursed her lips and eyed him with concern as if she wanted him to say something.
A toothpick stomachache would have been nothing compared to the ache in his heart. Adam had stolen his poem, and it wouldn’t surprise Titus if that one poem won Katie’s heart in the end. It had been his very best one.
Adam pressed the gold star to his heart, then handed it to Katie. She took it as if she wasn’t sure what to do with it but felt guilty for not knowing. Adam grinned at Titus as if they shared a secret. Jah, they shared a secret. The secret that Adam was a thief and a plagia-rizercist. . . or whatever that word was.
Adam picked up his pan of Chocolate Wonder and stood. He tapped Katie lightly on the nose with his finger. “We’ll see you tomorrow night.”
Titus surprised himself that he was able to speak. “Tomorrow night?”
Katie glanced down at her hands, then up at Titus, then down again. The smile on her face looked like she’d taped it there. “My parents are coming from Augusta, and Adam’s parents will be there. For dinner.”
“I’m going to propose to Katie,” Adam said. “I wanted our parents to be there to see it.”
Titus eyed Katie. How long had she known about this? She didn’t look all that happy about it, but maybe she was just nervous. Who wouldn’t be nervous anticipating a proposal?
They stood in silence for a few seconds, Titus staring at Katie, Adam staring at Titus, and Katie staring at her hands.
“Well,” Adam said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Katie. And remember, no Jell-O of any kind. My dat hates it.”
“I’ll remember,” Katie said as if he’d asked her to remember to muck out the barn.
Adam turned to go back into the school, stopped short, and turned around. He practically smacked Titus on the shoulder and leaned in close to whisper in his ear. “You don’t mind, do you, kid? I was trying to impress my fiancée.”
He jogged away, not waiting for an answer. Titus couldn’t have given him one.
“I . . . uh . . . I should fetch Anna and Felty,” Katie said, not looking at him. “Good night, Titus.” She raised on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek. Titus stood perfectly still even though it felt like a tornado had gone through the school yard. “Denki. For everything.”
She walked quickly back to the school as if there really was a tornado and she had to get to shelter.
Titus reached into his pocket and pulled out three toothpicks, just to calm his nerves. Adam had stolen his dessert and his poem, and Katie had kissed him. A thousand rhymes came into his head.
Adam is in love, it’s true, but he stole my poem. I feel like poo.
I really should step back from this, but Katie Rose gave me a kiss.
Titus wasn’t sure about it, but it didn’t seem right that Adam stole people’s poems. If Adam was that much in love, he should write his own. Titus pressed his lips around his three toothpicks. Not everyone had Titus’s gift for poetry. Maybe Adam couldn’t think of his own poem and was so desperate, he had to steal one of Titus’s.
The door to the schoolhouse opened, and Dawdi appeared. He tromped down the stairs, squinting into the darkness as if he was looking for something. “Titus, there you are. I was hoping you hadn’t left yet.”
Titus hung his head. He shouldn’t be having unkind thoughts about Adam. Dawdi wouldn’t like it. “I was just headed out.”
“Katie and Anna decided they should help Adam clean up. I decided we should have a talk, man to man,” Dawdi said.
Titus squared his shoulders. He liked it when Dawdi wanted to talk man to man. Dawdi’s respect always made Titus forget Cousin Norman’s dislike.
“As soon as Katie came inside, Adam got down on one knee and recited a poem for her.” Dawdi frowned and smoothed his gray beard as amusement twinkled in his eyes. “It sounded a lot like one of your poems.”
Titus let out a breath it felt he’d been holding for a long time. “I don’t want to talk bad about anyone, Dawdi, but it was one of my poems.” Titus drew his brows together. “Either that or we both wrote the same poem by mistake.”
Dawdi nodded as if he had answers to every question ever asked. “Nae, I caught him sneaking around the barn a few days ago. He must have found your stash of poems.”
Titus tried to keep a straight face. “My stash of poems? What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been sneaking around the barn, too. I read your poems while I milk Iris. They’re very creative and keep me from getting bored. It’s a shame to keep all that talent to yourself. Even Adam knows it should be shared.”
Titus pulled all three toothpicks out of his mouth. “But Katie thinks he wrote it. She thinks a lot of things about Adam that might not be true.”
“Like the fact that he took credit for shoveling our sidewalk? Or that he let you do the deliveries even though he made Katie think he helped you?”
Titus thought his eyes would pop out of his head. “How did you know?”
Dawdi lifted his eyebrows. He always looked so smart when he did that. “Everyone thinks all I do is read the newspaper. You learn a lot when no one knows you’re paying attention.”
“I was happy to shovel the sidewalk and I didn’t need the credit for it, but it doesn’t seem fair that Adam was admired for something he didn’t do.” Titus quickly remembered himself and cleared his throat. “Adam Wengerd is a wonderful nice boy. For sure and certain, he knows how to put on a wunderbarr Christmas program.”
Dawdi’s lips twitched upward. “Adam is a nice boy, but Katie will never guess how you feel about her if you keep scooting out of the way for Adam. If you love her, you need to fight for her.”
“Fight for her?”
“Symbolically, of course. We still believe in nonviolence.”
Titus’s head ached from thinking so hard. “How do I fight symbolically?”
Dawdi wrapped an arm around Titus’s neck. “Maybe it means not giving up on someone you care about, even if you’re afraid you’ll hurt Adam’s feelings. You have feelings, too.”
“Jah. I suppose I do.” And he felt like maybe, possibly, likely he was in love with Katie.
Nae. There was no maybe. His insides felt like chocolate tapioca pudding with raisins every time she smiled at him. He loved Katie Rose Gingerich, as sure as Adam Wengerd had nice teeth.
He’d almost convinced himself that he should step back so that Adam and Katie would be free to fall in love. Except now he thought maybe he should step forward. Adam was a real nice boy, but he stole other people’s Chocolate Wonder and other people’s hard-written poems. He didn’t deserve to marry Katie.
And Titus loved her.
This time, he would not step back.