Chapter Twenty-Five

ULTIMATELY, IT WAS Taylor who suggested that Joey fly back home for Betty’s graduation alone. It would give them both time to think and with so many big conversations taking place, Joey was thankful for the space. She was also thankful to not have to explain her relationship with Taylor. As far as anyone back home knew, they were just friends, and even though that classification made Joey’s stomach clench, she didn’t want to take any extra attention away from Betty’s big day than her return already would.

Arriving back at Heathrow alone nearly a year to the date she’d arrived felt even more surreal than landing there with Taylor had the year before. Everything looked exactly the same, but she couldn’t help but notice the subtle differences in her reflection as she approached the automatic door to her terminal.

She looked older, but not how she remembered looking at nineteen in the before. Back then, she was a bride-to-be, excitedly working out and eating right so she’d look perfect on her wedding day, even though she was already in the best shape of her life. Now, she had softer edges, wider hips, an actual chest she no longer had to pad a bra to see, and the furrowed brow of a young woman facing big decisions and tough conversations.

She wondered what Dan would think of the new her. She wondered how he would seem to her, with both fresh eyes and new experiences under her belt. She ached for him but tried not to get her hopes up. She’d been so sure about Taylor only a week ago and knew she owed it to all of them to not rush things, not this time.

As she handed her passport to the attendant at the check-in counter, the name on her badge brought Joey back to the present. Mary. Joey smiled and made polite conversation (“yes, back home for a visit, here for school,” etc.), but then sighed as she walked away. In her carry-on, she had the scrap of paper with an address for Mary Fate and the secret hope that everything that had happened could be undone if her homecoming didn’t go as planned.

But what was the actual plan? She knew she needed to talk to Dan, but there were two problems. One. He had never gone back on the “don’t contact me” request. Two. It was so much more than just one conversation. Maybe he’d be willing to go away with her for a weekend? Their anniversary was coming up and they always liked to get away to Sedona for at least a night to celebrate.

What am I thinking? An anniversary that never happened couldn’t be celebrated. And asking Dan to go away with her when she didn’t even know if he’d acknowledge her suddenly felt like an absurd request. She’d have to start small. Maybe just a little chat at the graduation, with plenty of people around. She hadn’t even confirmed he’d be at the graduation, but hopefully he could put his anger for her away for Betty’s sake.

As she walked by the bank of monitors with the departure and arrivals, she double-checked her gate information and that the flight was on time. It was and she once again did the mental math to check that she’d arrive in time for the ceremony. Booking her flight to land on the actual date of Betty’s graduation was risky, but there weren’t daily flights to Phoenix and she was already cutting it close with her school finals schedule. Luckily, her professors had allowed her to turn in her end-of-year projects early. The little details lining up felt like a good omen.

And as she got herself situated in her seat for the long flight, Joey let the emotional exhaustion she’d been feeling for weeks now finally catch up to her. She fell asleep, hoping she was right about good things to come.

As she landed in Phoenix, the evening desert sunshine made her eyes hurt as she looked out of the window. She was on the left side of the plane and could see Arizona State University and wondered if Dan was there right now, about to drive west, like she was.

She pulled her cell phone from her purse once they had arrived at the gate and turned it on, excited to see service bars for the first time in a year. This was a bold idea, but maybe just what she needed to break the ice.

She held down the number 1 on the keypad and it dialed Dan’s number. No answer.

“Hey, it’s, uh, Joey. I just landed and thought maybe we could ride to the school together. Sorry, this is silly. Not even sure you’ll be there. Never mi—”

Her voice cut off when the phone started to ring.

“Hello?” she said hopefully, gathering her belongings as the rows in front of her deplaned.

“Hey,” said Dan. His voice was both familiar and foreign. Had he changed this year just as much as she had?

“Oh, hey. I was just leaving you a message. I saw ASU from the plane and wondered…well, I’m at the airport.”

“You’re calling for a ride?” he asked. She couldn’t tell what the emotion was in his voice, but decided that since he hadn’t hung up, she’d keep going.

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t need one, I can get a taxi. I just thought maybe we could talk.”

There was a long pause as he pondered this. Or maybe he was pondering what names to call her.

“Yeah, I can pick you up.”

“Really? I thought you weren’t talking to me.” She held the phone with her shoulder as she made her way down the aisle.

“Where do you want me to pick you up?” Okay, he was ignoring that. Probably for the best.

“Terminal Four, south side, uh, door two?”

“I’ll be there in fifteen,” he said, before hanging up.

It had to have been the coldest phone exchange of their lives. He was talking to her, which was a good start, and was clearly planning to go to the graduation. More good omens. But the tone of his voice alerted Joey immediately that she was not going to be picked up by the nineteen-year-old Dan she once knew. If anything, he sounded more like the Dan she’d left behind in 2022. Had their year apart accelerated that transformation?

She’d been hoping for a reset to avoid that fate and now felt terrified she’d somehow brought it about twenty years too early. He wasn’t supposed to hate her yet. He wasn’t supposed to hate her ever, preferably, but this just felt wrong. And now she was going to be stuck in rush hour traffic heading to an outdoor event in heat she hadn’t been around in a year.

It was going to be an uncomfortable night.