Chapter Twenty-Six

DAN DIDN’T LOOK all that different at first glance, but his car most certainly did. As she stepped out to the curb at Sky Harbor and felt the blow-dryer-like wind hit her face, she squinted and looked for the 1995 Toyota Camry she and Dan used to share. It wasn’t until she heard her name three times that she finally realized the man sitting in the car directly in front of her was talking to her.

“You coming?” Dan opened his door and stood to add a wave to the name-calling.

“Whose car is this?” she said, walking toward him, confused.

“Whose boobs are those?” he said, meeting her at the back of the car to help load her bags in the trunk.

They laughed and stood awkwardly behind the car until the person behind them honked. They didn’t hug, but both were processing a lot of new things. As Joey slid into the passenger seat, she realized this car was very new, and very unlike Dan.

“Yes, yes, the car is new,” he said, making his way through the throngs of vehicles to get them to the freeway. “I got a job this year and saved up.”

“At the mall?” She wondered how on Earth he’d been able to save so much while making minimum wage, and without her to help with the rent.

“No, at my dad’s office.”

“But that’s up by our house.”

“Yeah, so it was pretty convenient. We carpool.”

“But what about the apartment?”

“What apartment?” Dan asked, trying to keep the car straight while shooting her a look.

Right. She wasn’t supposed to know about the apartment. And because she hadn’t been here to live with him, he’d probably broken the lease. And stayed home. And since she wasn’t here to occupy his time, he’d started at an office job years earlier than he had in their timeline.

“Oh, I thought Betty said something about you moving out. Sorry. But why did you start a job so early? You said we had plenty of time to be shut up in an office when we’re older.”

“Well, when I suddenly had nothing to do last summer, Dad asked if I wanted to work with him full-time until school started. Then I realized how much money I could save by staying home and making good money, so I adjusted my schedule to only be on campus Tuesdays and Thursdays. I work long days Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but I’ve got some downtime to do homework, so it works out pretty well.”

Joey felt those first words sting, but she was so thankful the car had given them something to talk about. And since Dan was driving, she could look at him without feeling awkward. She wanted to take in the full picture.

He looked older at nineteen than he had before, just like she did. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting. A broken-hearted kid whom she’d have to put back together? Okay, maybe that was kinda what she thought, but that most definitely wasn’t what she was seeing. In this new car and nice clothes, he looked closer to how he had at thirty when they were finally able to catch up on some bills and the kids were all old enough to sleep through the night.

Her absence really had accelerated his timeline, it seemed. He wasn’t broken at all. He looked good. Really good, if she was being honest.

“I drank a lot of beer,” Joey said abruptly. “Well, cider actually.”

“Uh, okay?” Dan said with a laugh.

“You asked about my boobs.” She realized she was answering a question they’d since moved past.

“Ah, right. Sorry, I just almost didn’t recognize you. It’s not just that. You look older.”

“So do you. I mean that in a good way.”

“Yeah, I did too.”

They sat in uncomfortable silence, letting the events from a year ago fill up every available inch around them. The anger, the confusion, the hurt; it all hung in the air, just waiting for one of them to address it.

“I’m sorry,” Joey said at last.

“It’s fine,” Dan said. “Ancient history.”

“It’s not fine.”

“I mean I’m fine. And this is probably a better conversation for another time. I don’t want to show up for Betty feeling all emotional about things that happened a long time ago.”

“A long time ago? It’s been a year.”

“Yes, a year. And a lot can happen in a year.”

He said it with an edge to his voice and Joey desperately wanted to ask more. Was a year enough time for him to fall completely out of love with her? Enough time to realize that all he ever wanted was her, still?

For the moment, they seemed to at least be cordial. It was a huge weight off her shoulders just to be near him again without him yelling at her for everything she’d done. She deserved it. Or did she?

“Can I ask you something?” she said.

“You can,” he said. “But I don’t promise to answer.”

“Fair enough.” She drew in her breath and continued, “Why did you keep my letter? The one telling me I got a scholarship to the school in London?”

“Why did I what?” Once again he looked so distracted she immediately regretted asking him this on a busy Phoenix freeway.

“My letter. Taylor said you brought it to her, thinking it was for her, but then you never showed it to me.” In all the times she’d thought about asking him this question, she realized she’d assumed it would be through tears. But just as he seemed to have found some peace and patience in their year apart, she realized she had too.

“Is that what you think?” Dan said as a single tear fell to his cheek.

“What am I supposed to think, Dan?” Joey was surprised at his reaction. “You had our whole future planned out and didn’t want to risk what would happen if I went to London, so you kept that letter from me.”

Dan’s hands gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. He brushed the tear away, and when he replied, his voice was cold.

“Joey, I didn’t keep that letter,” he said matter-of-factly. “And I don’t know what little story you’ve been telling yourself about that, but if this is why you ran away, I…”

“You what?”

Dan shook his head. “Look, this is a big night for Betty. For all of us, actually. I’m glad you’re here and really don’t want to get into everything. I probably shouldn’t have picked you up, but I thought…I guess I thought we could clear the air and that would be a good thing before everything else.”

Everything else? A big night for everyone? Joey wanted to ask more questions about all of that but had to know right now what he meant about the letter.

“Tell me,” she said. “The letter? I know you had it.”

“I did,” he said. “And since you never mentioned it, I figured you got it, but decided to just stick with our plan. Until you ran away, that is.”

“But you never gave it to me.”

“You weren’t home when I stopped by with it. So I gave it to Betty.”