Just as we think that no one can understand what we go through, the same holds true for the people who hold our hand through the tough stuff. These people are our fierce earth angels and co-survivors. They are the folks who would be your alibi even if you committed the crime. “Did knuckle-head do it?” “Nope your Honor.” Little does the judge know that your angel drove the getaway car.
When I got sick I moved back in with my parents. I felt thoroughly ashamed about it at the time. All my peers were moving forward while I was running home to Mommy and Daddy. Major buzz kill. And yet I needed to get my head straight and my feet planted. Plus, I was petrified to be alone. My parents lovingly welcomed me in (temporarily). They put their life on hold in the hopes of saving mine. Needless to say I was very lucky.
Often the people closest to us are challenged not only emotionally, but physically, spiritually, and financially. They share your ups as well as your downs. In their private moments, they cry, curse, pray, and tremble. It’s very easy to get caught up in our own drama and forget other people’s suffering. Though our co-survivors aren’t riding the mechanical dragon like we are, standing dangerously close to the flames still leaves them singed. Sometimes we’re so busy hanging on for dear life that we can’t see how strung out and crispy they’ve become. Out of nowhere a nasty comment or an exasperated look can start a chain of stress-driven miscommunication.
Your earth angels will have their tantrums and “why mes” too and it’s important to let them unload. However don’t digest their pain and add more issues to your tissues. Keep it separate. A night off, a weekend away, they too must escape and you must give them permission to do that. We can’t succeed in wellness if we’re sucking the life out of another.
Catch these important people off guard and say thank you. Share how deep your love for them runs. A note, e-mail, lunch or hug will go a long way toward replenishing their energy well. Even if you don’t feel like it, make time to put cancer aside and be present for your co-survivors. It will mean more than you know.
Your crew is your healing circle. They are the trusted felines in your pride. In Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips, I introduced you to thirteen dynamic babes who rock my world, remind me to laugh, and share their hearts, souls, and secrets. They are the neon swimmies keeping me afloat as I swim in uncharted waters.
Just because you have cancer doesn’t mean you don’t have regular civilian problems. Add a diagnosis to the mix and boy is there plenty to complain about. Your posse knows exactly what you’re going through. Still—don’t just sit around moaning and shaking. Make healthy commitments with one another to share nutritious dinners, walk or jog in the park, buddy up and join the gym. Of course gossip responsibly (remember, karma is a boomerang), be naughty, and swipe the cancer card together, too. Just make sure your posse mission and members support your overall goal of returning to health.
I love witnessing people exchange numbers at my workshops. What a treasure. I feel like Crazy Sexy Big Mama bringin’ all the prophets and misfits together. Moments like that remind me of what life is all about—relationships.
Form your own posse as soon as possible, and keep adding to it. Ask your doctor and nurse if they can connect you with other Cancer Babes. Check out other hospitals and support groups in your area or go online and visit me (www.crazysexycancer.com) and other great cancer or wellness communities! We’re out there, ya just gotta look. Network with everyone you can think of. Once you start asking and searching, you will find other men and women, sometimes right in your own neighborhood. Go out and create your gang, pinkie-swear!
