What’s your real expression of power? Is it your hair, those long locks that signify your femininity? Is it a midriff that exposes a toned and scar-free body? A nice rack and a tight tush? That’s the easy answer. You can purchase that stuff. Your real expression of power will come when you stop forcing yourself into a box and start speaking your well-informed mind. My power is my pen. Think about those geriatric male rock stars who continue to strut around like they’re all that and a bag of chips. Lots of those fellas are tough on the eyes, but there’s still something about them that makes your kitten purr. That something is the unwavering belief in self.

Cancer pushes all our insecurities to the surface. The first thing I asked when I was diagnosed was, “Will I lose my hair?” The second question was “Will I die?”—second! That’s how important my hair was to me. As it turned out, my follicles stayed untouched but my self-confidence plummeted. I still recognized the girl in the mirror, but I sensed that a part of her had gone missing. I wanted to stick a picture of myself on a milk carton and hope that someone would relocate me intact. Excuse me waitress, can I have a reality check?

In a recent article about the grande dame of the feminist movement, Gloria Steinem, the former undercover Playboy Bunny talked about the process of aging. She described getting older as a freeing and empowering experience. “In a general way, women become more radical as they get older. The pattern is that women are conservative when they’re young. That’s when there’s the most pressure on us to conform, when we’re potential child bearers and sex objects.” Steinem went on to say that she wished that she had been more compassionate with herself. She wished that our future selves could meet our past selves and tell them, “It’s OK, it’s OK.” The feisty 71-year-old had some thunderous advice for young women today, “Do whatever they fucking well please.” Ha!

Compare the process of aging to the process of recovery.

AGING GRACEFULLY DOESN’T MEAN POLITELY CASTRATING YOURSELF SO YOU CAN GO OUT WITH DIGNITY.

I want to age and heal like Gloria, to wear aviator glasses into my seventies, to paint my nails and allow them to chip, to swear and push buttons. I want to change the way people label themselves and others. Let canSer allow you to march on your inner Washington. Do it! Be radical. Safe makes me yawn.

bite your inner bitch

. . . Yup, even if you’re a vegetarian. Your inner bitch is the negative voice telling you that you’ll always be sick, fat, stupid, or ugly. Puncture her with your teeth and visualize the wench deflating like a balloon and flying away with fart sounds.