Let me throw out a few potential plot lines for starting your day. Which one sounds most appealing?
You rocket out of bed late, pour a pot of coffee down your throat, and race to your computer. Your mind downloads pages of the horror, politics, celebrity cellulite, and rising interest rates, while your pits start to sweat from caffeine blowout. Oh my God you haven’t checked your e-mail yet! Like a Xerox machine, you quickly scan the notes from cyberwhiners who remind you of all the things you failed to accomplish yesterday.
Then you nearly break your neck as you swan-dive into the shower for a lightning-fast hose-off, and race to work (without breakfast). If you have a gaggle of kids, double the chaos factor. If you have a dog, triple it. If you have a cat and a husband, you’re screwed. You never feel rested, you have no idea how to connect with your inner wisdom, and the damn days are never long enough. A warm tub and a few seconds of peace feel like a one-way trip to the Bahamas.
Because you went to bed at a reasonable time and clocked eight full hours of restorative sleep, you wake up at 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. feeling happy and refreshed. You then pour yourself a cup of herbal tea, look out your window to see if the bunny who lives in your garden is dining on your weeds, and head over to your sacred space. Once you are comfortably seated and the sage is blazing, you turn to some uplifting spiritual material to fill your reservoir. Perhaps you tickle your gratitude journal with some thank-yous, amens, and affirmations. You close your eyes and meditate for ten to thirty minutes. As you come to your senses and your center, you realize that there is no need to rush. You have more than enough time to get your work done, and nothing will rattle you. You then bounce off to the bath and emerge renewed and ready for the conscious inhales and exhales that will fill the next twenty-four hours.
Invite yourself to find the middle ground. We are all stumbling around doing the best we can. We can’t get rid of all the deadlines, but we don’t have to murder ourselves to get the job done. Perseverence. Consistency. Small steps. Make choices that honor your needs first and foremost. Carve out what is most important to you and protect it like a lioness. Remember, you are the CEO of your life. If you limp to the finish line with your pancreas dragging behind on the asphalt, what was the point? Living in the now allows us to experience each and every one of our seconds. Time ticks by for everyone, not just for those with cancer. While you’re driving, rinsing your hair in the shower, switching the wash into the dryer, breathe it in and notice your magnificent life. Hallelujah! Pass the spiritual pancakes.
Your beautiful mind is the most open in the morning, which is why it’s helpful to start your day with centering exercises such as meditation.
What three changes can you make in your morning routine?
Describe them. Which is most important?
To truly let go of something, we must see it first. Quieting your mind and turning your attention inward leaves you naked with yourself. As the masterfully suppressed head junk reveals itself, you may feel a frightening sense of exposure. Ooh la la! Drop your skivvies and allow yourself to sunbathe in your Zen birthday suit! Let the rays fall on the pale places that have been swaddled in jeans and long underwear. When you’re ready to cover up again, wrap yourself in a gorgeous fabric of your choosing. Scattered minds pick polyester; centered minds choose organic cotton. The gutsy folks who sit their ass on the pillow will tell you that the junk that does not serve you will present itself with a deep moan. If this happens to you, don’t freak out. Moaning is good; fun at times.
As you begin to peel the layer of your onion, there may be some tears and tantrums. Fantastic! Allergic reactions to focus and concentration are normal. Once you practice with regularity, you will find Wonder Woman strength in your ability to gather your attention. A lasso and an invisible plane await you as you transform from road rage bitch to an enlightened navigator, unshaken by the parade of jackasses who constantly cut you off.
THE ONLY AGREEMENT THAT YOU MAKE WITH YOURSELF IS TO LET GO OF ANY JUDGMENT YOU MIGHT HAVE ABOUT HOW WELL YOU ARE ACCOMPLISHING THIS NOT-SO-SIMPLE TASK.
Your mind will wander, and when it does, do not grab your mental whip and begin to chase your thoughts with the intention of catching them for a beating. Instead, cozy up and settle in. What works for me may not work for you. There is a wide range of bite-size pauses that will add space to your life. Try mindfully folding your laundry or doing the dishes. Stop for one minute and stand still in the sun. Tap into the sound of the water while sitting in front of a trickling fountain. You don’t have to be a monk in a cave to add a little Zen-fabulous to your life.
As you further your practice, you may awaken to the cosmic glue that holds us all together. The word yoga means union or “to yoke”—as in, with the divine. Wow, yoking with the divine, when was the last time you did that? Kinky! Don’t be surprised if a string of Christmas lights flicker on in your newly conscious mind. When I dove in, my connection to the world around me grew so strong that it became too painful to turn my back; to do so would be to abandon myself. The choices I make have an impact on my inner and outer environment. Global warming doesn’t just take place in theory, out there, on Al Gore’s video projector. It happens right under your skin in the unbalanced and deforested terrain of your body. Now, that’s food for thought! Basically, separation of any kind stinks!
WHAT’S THE OLD ZEN HOT DOG JOKE?
Make me one with everything.
Meditation is not relaxation spelled differently.
—JON KABAT-ZINN
scan day
No matter how centered you get, scan day will wring you like a spin cycle. Try meditating on the CAT scan bed. I have a tribe of protectors on the other side, and they all come wearing white, banging drums, smokin’ peace pipes (filled with good green grass, and not the wheatgrass kind), and creating sacredness. When Team Spirit arrives, no matter what happens I am not alone.
When my clan read a draft of my spirituality section, it ignited a great debate and some juicy conversation. Olé! Cha, cha, cha, I love that! Leslie (my sister in shrink school) offered some righteous vocal cord slapping to add to our philosophical family chew-over. Check it out.
Meditation for me comes in moments, preferably short in duration, and often when there is nothing else to do. I like to meditate most when I’m walking or when I’m by myself commuting somewhere. Take a train, for example. When I’m on a New York City subway train and I’m pissed because I can’t sit down, my bag is heavy, and the angry man next to me won’t shut the hell up, I close my eyes. Rather than fighting against it, thinking over and over about how much I wish my stop would come, I actually do the reverse—I embrace the moment in all its shitty glory. I am right here, right now. I listen to the man complain, and to the sounds of the train as it rocks back and forth underneath me. I focus on my breath and feel my body as it exists—my clothes brushing against me, maybe even hugging me in places that I wish they didn’t. I am present. For better or worse, this is where I am.
We spend so much time living in our thoughts rather than our reality. When we’re driving to the grocery store, we’re thinking about what we’re going to make for dinner. While we’re making dinner, we’re thinking about what we’re going to do after that. I try to remind myself to not just listen, but hear; to not just look, but see; to not just breathe, but live. Whatever is happening in this moment, it’s the only time it will ever be.
That’s some good stuff! Of course I taught Leslie everything she knows and take full credit for her cool factor. I wish! Your family has more wisdom than you think. Tap the tree.
My soul sister Sera and I were separated at birth. We are still scratching our heads and trying to figure out how our parents kept this information from us all these years. The 1970s were a wild time, but come on! Sera is a red goddess and word chef who creates tasty recipes of spiritual freedom for the modern woman. A Harvard-trained scholar of mysticism and comparative religion and an intrepid spiritual cowgirl, Sera wrote The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach to Igniting Your Divine Spark. Put it on your Crazy Sexy Syllabus, folks. It’s a must-read for jailbreaks and sacred galloping. Yeehaw! Here’s Sera’s take on meditating . . .
Spiritual Mad Libs, by Sera J. Beak
A playful game of what I call “Spiritual Mad Libs” is best practiced as a meditation afterglow—after you’ve completed some sort of practice that relaxes your body and mind, and puts you in a quiet and centered space. The energetic focus of this exercise is listening to your red-hot heart, the cozy home of your authentic self, your divine spark, your inner healer—the Grand Central Station for Your Powers That Be. When you take the time to calm your mind and let your awareness slip down into this conscious heart realm, you’ll find that it has quite a lot to say—or rather, you have quite a lot to say to yourself. You can connect with your heart simply by placing your hand on your chest for a few moments, closing your eyes, and feeling your heart beat.
A few important tips:
When you’re ready, grab a pen, take a deep breath into your heart . . . and let’s roll. Pretend your inner healer—however you imagine her to be—is speaking these sentences to you while encouraging you to draw from her well of compassion and wisdom to finish them.
Every time you see or hear
THIS WORD OR PHRASE
(on a sign, a song, online, on TV, wherever), know that it’s a little divine wink from me, a thumbs-up from your inner universe, a little love pat on your spiritual booty.
These particular open-ended statements are meant to help you reestablish a more fluid connection to your authentic self, but once you’re comfortable with this form of communication, you should create your own spiritual Mad Libs—from broad open-ended sentences to more precise fill-in-the-blank questions. They can be as funny or serious, shallow or deep, broad or specific as you want, and they can be about anything—from health advice to food choices to relationships to sex toys—no subject is taboo or off limits. Just try to make sure you’re relaxed and centered when you fire away. Bottom line: Your inner healer is always dishing, constantly communicating with you; all you gotta do is tune in and let ’er rip.
