Kara inhaled deeply as she slipped off her cloak in her chamber. Ash had gone to make sure all the equipment he’d brought with him was properly stored, leaving her to make her own way to her chamber. She thanked the gods for a small piece of luck—she managed to get to her chamber without encountering anyone and having to suffer knowing stares or, worse still, questions.
She plucked a stray twig from her hair. His declaration about being willing to be a farmer had unsettled her. It was the last thing she expected from Ash and she had trouble thinking of him being happy, yet he had seemed sincere. It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Someone by her side to share the burden. Her perfect mate. It made no sense. She should be happy, but it unnerved her as if there was something Ash was keeping from her.
‘My lady, thank the gods you have returned. Visitors are in the hall.’ Thora rushed into the room without knocking. Her kerchief was askew and the relief was etched on her face.
‘Have you made them comfortable?’ Kara automatically straightened her dress, silently blessing whichever god had watched over her earlier. If she had gone straight to the hall, everyone would have guessed what had happened and it was far too new to share.
‘Yes, my lady.’ Thora twisted her pinafore.
‘What is the trouble, Thora? You appear distressed.’ Kara straightened her gown. ‘Is it Harald Haraldson? You don’t need to fear that his men will behave badly this time. Ash and his men will keep the peace.’
‘It’s Valdar, my lady.’
Kara’s heart knocked. Valdar. She wasn’t ready to see him. Her relationship with Ash was far too new. They were still getting used to each other.
‘Valdar,’ she said, biting the back of her thumb.
Thora smiled. ‘Rurik is beyond excited, but considering your recent history and the master being here, do you really want him here?’
Kara hoped her colour stayed normal. The hall traded on secrets and she wasn’t ready to share what had happened in the forest with anyone. She and Ash hadn’t even begun to discuss sleeping arrangements. He might not want to share her bed because of his nightmares.
‘I’ve no choice in the matter.’
Ash strode in. He glanced at Thora, who blushed, and then purposefully went over to Kara and kissed her lips. Thora hurriedly backed out of the room, stammering. The news would be all over the estate before night fell.
‘Problems?’ Ash asked, tightening his grip on her waist. ‘Whatever they are, they can wait. Let’s take a bath together, wash the dust away. I can scrub your back.’
She broke away. ‘Visitors.’
‘I know.’
Kara froze. He knew and still suggested bathing. Had he known they were near before he took her out into the woods? ‘You knew.’
He laughed. ‘Hard to miss a half-dozen extra horses.’
Her neck relaxed slightly. There was a logical explanation. ‘Oh, I thought...it doesn’t matter. But there is no question of bathing, Ash. That would...that would be rude.’
‘A suggestion in case you wanted to look your best, rather than like you’d had a delightful tumble in the forest.’
‘I...I can’t abandon my duties.’
He shrugged. ‘Always one for duty, Kara.’
‘The honour of the house is at stake.’
‘What do you intend to do about him?’
There was no mistaking the jealousy in Ash’s tone. She smiled inwardly. After all they had shared this afternoon he should know which man she preferred.
‘I will greet him with the usual warmth. Valdar has been a good friend. Only a friend.’ She began to walk towards the hall with brisk steps. The last thing she wanted was for Ash to start some unnecessary competition with Valdar where she was perceived as a prize. That was all his suggestion about bathing had been about—a way of presenting her as a trophy to Valdar. She liked Valdar. She’d no wish to hurt him.
‘My lady,’ Ash called, ‘aren’t you forgetting something?’
Kara stopped. ‘Such as?’
‘Your husband. You never know if the visitors will be friendly. One day you may have cause to thank my past life as a warrior.’
Kara’s stomach knotted. She hoped Ash hadn’t decided to be a farmer simply to please her.
‘It is the duty of the woman to greet any visitor,’ she replied carefully. ‘Valdar is a welcome visitor here. Always. Rurik will be overjoyed to see his old friend.’
‘No doubt.’ His eyes became speculative. ‘I shall have to make sure Rurik shows some of the moves I taught him.’
‘He is a friend. Nothing more.’ Kara’s heart thudded. ‘Rurik likes him because the man took an interest in him. Valdar always brings him something little when he visits and he did visit quite frequently when he was wooing me. Auda even joked that he tried to woo the woman through the son, but I knew the relationship he has with Rurik is based on mutual regard.’
Ash raised a brow. ‘Did I ask?’
Kara put her hand on her hip. ‘You implied. I want you to know the truth. No secrets, remember? We agreed. A fresh start for us both.’
‘Do you know why he has arrived here?’
Kara put her fingers to her temples. ‘Let me concentrate.’ She counted to ten. ‘No, sorry. Nothing. No idea why he is here. I was never a good soothsayer, Ash.’
A muscle jumped in Ash’s jaw. ‘I can make a good guess, if you won’t.’
Kara rolled her eyes. It was gratifying in a way that Ash showed this streak of jealousy, but the last thing she wanted was for the two to come to blows. Valdar had been Ash’s friend once. They could be again.
‘Why don’t we ask him and then we will know the truth? It could be a hundred different reasons, including that he wants to wish us well. Jaarlshiem is not far from his estate. He might even be able to give you tips on farming.’
‘Do you take his tips?’
Kara put her hand to her throat. She had always planned to once they were married. Before then, she had run the estate as best she could. ‘They are worth listening to. Certainly.’
‘And will you listen to my suggestions?’
Kara tilted her head to one side. ‘I listened to you about Rurik. Does that satisfy you?’
‘You think he has come to see you, his former bride. To check you are all right and once again make his offer of protection. Will you tell him about us?’
She shrugged and concentrated on the ground. ‘As far I knew, he had no plans to come here. I’m shocked that he has arrived.’
‘You can be such an innocent, Kara. I am far from shocked. I’ve been expecting him.’ He draped an arm across her shoulders, claiming possession. ‘Shall we see him together? He needs to know that while he is welcome as a friend, he needs to look elsewhere for a lover.’
‘I am not some bone to be fought over.’ Kara ducked under his arm and freed herself. Ash had guessed. She found it impossible to rid her brain of the thought that he had seduced her today. Was that why he made his offer?
His eyes narrowed. ‘I gave up fighting, remember? At your request. I am to be a farmer.’
Her heart knocked. He was doing this to please her, just as he had tried so hard to be a warrior.
‘I’m not a prize to be exhibited. I’m your wife and I have always behaved correctly. With modesty and decorum. The entire kingdom will buzz with the gossip, like busy bumblebees.’
‘There will be no fighting, I guarantee you that.’ Ash’s eyes glittered. ‘I have won. I trust you to tell him.’
‘You could never resist grinding your opponent into the ground.’ Kara glared at him.
‘I’m not my father or my uncle.’
‘Are you coming, Mor? Far?’ Rurik called out from the doorway. ‘I want to show you what Valdar brought. My very own sword! It is very sharp.’
Ash raised an eyebrow, but Kara shook her head.
‘I knew about the sword, Ash. It was to be his present to Rurik for being his new father. Valdar promised that it would not be a full-sized sword, simply one a young boy could be proud of.’
‘Rurik already has one father. He has no need of another. Make sure you emphasise that when you greet him.’
Kara didn’t bother to reply, but walked with purposeful strides to the hall where Valdar waited, standing with his back to the hearth and his feet splayed apart. Valdar’s face lit up when he spied her. Kara’s heart sank. She had hoped he’d be dressed casually, but he appeared to be dressed as if he expected trouble with his broad sword belted to his hip.
‘Valdar, what a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?’
‘This is far from a social call, my lady.’
Immediately his hand went to his sword’s hilt. Without even looking, Kara knew Ash had entered behind her. From the footsteps, it would appear his men were there, ready and waiting for Ash’s signal. Ash had made plans she knew nothing about. So much for no secrets. Were his plans to be a farmer also lip service?
‘No bloodshed,’ she murmured.
‘If he draws his sword, I doubt I can control my men,’ Ash retorted in an undertone. ‘They are loyal.’
‘Control them or consider yourself an unworthy commander.’
‘My lady has spoken. It seems sometimes she doesn’t require a farmer.’ Ash’s voice held more than a note of irony.
‘Valdar Nerison, you are always a welcome friend who comes in peace and friendship,’ she said, advancing forward, ignoring that Ash stood behind her glowering at the other warrior. Ash should know after what had just passed between them that she had no feelings for Valdar. She paused and attempted to gather her wits for the rest of the formal greeting.
‘For you, my Lady Kara, always.’ Valdar inclined his head, but his hand still hovered above his sword hilt.
‘I’m sorry we weren’t here to greet you,’ Ash said, stepping in front of her. ‘Kara and I were out tracking.’
‘I see.’ Valdar’s face fell and his hand dropped from the sword.
‘Ash took over Rurik’s training and I wanted to make sure that what he proposed for Rurik would be acceptable.’ Kara was aware that her face had gone bright red. Somehow, her words seemed to make the situation worse instead of better as Valdar paled.
‘Kara finds my training more than acceptable.’ Ash gave a short laugh, obviously starting to enjoy the situation. ‘There again, Rurik is my son. Funny how that works out.’
‘Rurik is a son that any man would be proud to call his.’ Valdar inclined his head. ‘I welcome the fact that the Lady Kara has finally agreed to his proper training. I had hoped she might consent to my services, but I can see the child’s father would be preferable.’
‘A huge responsibility, but I am more than willing to shoulder it,’ Ash commented.
Valdar turned sharply towards her and concern flickered across his face.
‘Ash intends to stay, Valdar,’ she said quietly.
‘I see.’
Kara pressed her lips together. Valdar had known before that it was impossible. Silently she prayed that Valdar had not appeared in the hope that all remained uneasy between her and Ash.
‘Rurik has amply entertained me with tales of his training.’ Valdar ruffled Rurik’s hair. ‘You have the makings of a fine warrior. Hopefully we shall see you ice-skating this winter, as well.’
Kara schooled her features. It hurt that Valdar also thought she had been overly cautious with Rurik. ‘We shall have to see what the winter brings.’
‘Rurik understands why his mother is being careful,’ Ash said.
‘My mother had only me to look after her. It is different now that my true father has come back,’ Rurik piped up.
‘Who taught him that one?’ Kara murmured, giving Ash a sideways glance.
Ash appeared unrepentant. ‘I thought the sentiment had a ring of truth.’
‘Indeed.’ Kara ground her teeth.
‘Did you come merely to see Rurik and how he fares?’ Ash asked in ringing tones. ‘Or was there another darker purpose?’
‘I came to see you, Ash Hringson, on urgent matters.’ Valdar stood and reached into his pouch and withdrew a wooden tablet. ‘The king instructed it be placed in your hand. You are to return to Sand immediately. There is to be an enquiry. I have the authority to bring you in chains, if you do not come willingly.’
Kara’s stomach roiled. The king had turned against Ash. She had thought everything was settled before they had left. ‘Why?’
‘My uncle demands my ship plus tribute.’ Ash gave the rune-stick the briefest of glances. ‘He swears my ship attacked his on its way up the river. An act of aggression against Raumerike on my orders. Unfounded, but effective. My oarsmen had their orders to come straight here. The king takes a cautious approach and wishes to investigate. I had expected it might come to this.’
‘You already knew? You expected this?’ Kara stared at him in astonishment. He’d kept something so important like that from her! After declaring no secrets! He couldn’t be certain his men had followed orders. Sell-swords were notorious for going after easy prey. She sank down on a stool. If the charges were proved against Ash, Harald Haraldson would be within his rights to demand all of Ash’s holdings, including this estate.
‘I suspected my uncle might make this move. I thought the ship would arrive three days ago, yesterday at the worst. Far better to know my men are safe rather than suffering in a shipwreck.’ Ash inclined his head. ‘I thank you for being swift, Valdar Nerison. It has eased my mind no end.’
‘I felt it my duty to let you and the Lady Kara know as soon as possible.’ Valdar straightened his back, giving her a significant look. ‘There are other people to think of besides yourself, Hringson or Ash the Untrusted.’
‘I am well aware of that name. My father unfairly gave it to me after I fell asleep guarding some sheep when I was ten and had been awake all night. It has not been used for many years.’ Ash gestured towards the door. ‘You appear dusty and travel-worn. You should have a bath and relax before we discuss all the news. The morning is soon enough to depart.’
‘You will go willingly?’
‘When my king makes an order, who am I to refuse? I am a loyal subject of our king, regardless of what Harald Haraldson might say.’ Ash gave a crooked smile, but his eyes were deadly serious. ‘The hour is late. We leave at first light.’
He rapidly gave orders for Valdar’s things to be placed in his bed cabinet and for his men to be treated with respect.
‘You should have said something when you suspected that something had gone awry,’ Kara said when Rurik had led Valdar off and they were alone in the hall. Her mind whirled. Ash had deliberately kept things from her. ‘You should have confided in me about this.’
‘Why worry you about something which might not come to pass?’
‘We’re far from ready if Harald Haraldson should decide to attack Jaarlshiem. The grain and wool will need to be moved.’ Kara pressed her hands together to keep them from trembling. ‘It was wrong of you.’
‘And have you fret and use it as an excuse?’
Kara bit her lip. ‘You should have told me.’
‘Harald Haraldson will not attack here. He wouldn’t dare. Not with my sell-swords guarding it. And he covets this estate. He doesn’t want to lay waste to it.’
‘How do you know?’ Kara glanced at the door. Suddenly Ash’s insistence of a guard and men seemed less extravagant. ‘He could be on his way right now. Things need to be properly stored. We could be facing a long siege.’
‘Think with your head, Kara, instead of giving way to blind panic.’ Ash slammed his hand down on the table. ‘My uncle wants this hall above all things and believes he will get it through the king. It makes no sense for him to attack if he has taken my ship. He needs to remain in Sand if he wishes to influence the king.’
Kara put her hand over her mouth. Ash was correct. If Harald Haraldson wanted to influence the king, he needed to be in Sand. Ash did know what he was doing, but it didn’t make her any happier or feel any less used.
‘You weren’t sure which way your uncle would move. It is why you brought your men, rather than fearing any threat from Valdar. It is why you have been training them so hard. You expect war. You have been using me like a counter in a game of tafl.’
‘War happens whether you expect it or not. It is best to be prepared.’ Ash shrugged and began to rearrange the pieces on the tafl board, concentrating on them, rather than looking Kara in the face. He could sense Kara slipping away from him. This afternoon she had been his, but... It hurt that she refused to understand that he was acting to protect her. ‘Sometimes you have to wait for the other person in the game to make his move.’
‘Who do you think you are playing this game against? The king?’
‘My uncle,’ Ash said, putting the tafl piece down. Kara deserved to know the truth now that his uncle had acted. Once she knew, she would see that he had done the right thing. ‘My uncle seeks me banished or dead. He wants this estate. He is using the king as his instrument of destruction.’
Her face showed her dismay. ‘You told me it was all resolved. The king gave you permission to depart. I believed you. It was why I went with you. You used me, Ash. That is unforgivable. You should have trusted me. What is a marriage without trust? Was your promise to become a farmer simply mouthing words?’
He winced. In seeking to protect her, he had lost her trust.
‘I want to be with you and our son. I am willing to try, but I have to do this first. I am used to operating on my own.’
‘The last time you asked for permission to do something first, you were gone for seven years.’
‘It won’t be that long. I’ve taken all the steps necessary. The king did give me permission to return to Jaarlshiem. Until my uncle chose his move, I couldn’t counter him.’ He forced a smile, but knew it wouldn’t fool her. ‘I am an excellent tafl player. You know that. I mean to win.’
Her eyes turned sad. ‘You should have said something when you first suspected.’
‘What could you have done?’ He put his hands on her shoulders. ‘I know what I am doing. It has been my life for the past six years. Let me prove to you that I am worthy.’
She shrugged off his hands and her eyes flashed. ‘You leave for Sand at first light. You won’t be here to put things right.’
‘Everyone is prepared.’ He struggled to understand her hurt. He knew what he was doing. He would return as soon as he could. ‘You’ll be safe here.’
‘Sometimes safety is an illusion. You showed me that with Rurik.’ She dipped her head and he could only see the crown of braids. ‘I thought Rurik was safe with Gudrun and look what happened.’
‘Like you, I’d give my life for our son.’
Her mouth became an O.
‘Valdar wanted me in chains, but I suspect he gave me the option for the sake of our son and you,’ Ash continued. ‘I suppose I should be grateful that he likes my son. It would not do for him to see his father escorted out in chains.’
‘Valdar isn’t like that. He is your friend.’ Her hand played with the chain on her waist. ‘It is why we first became close. He was able to tell Rurik stories about you.’
‘He was my friend once, but he fell in love with my wife. He’ll take pleasure in seeing me humiliated. It is why my uncle persuaded the king that he was the perfect man for the job. Why he wasn’t at court that morning. He is my uncle’s man now.’
‘Will your uncle win if no one pleads for you?’ Kara began to pace the hall. Her skirt swished, revealing her trim ankles, but Ash admired the steel in her backbone more.
‘My uncle will have put it about that I am a Viken spy.’
She stopped mid-stride. ‘Are you a spy?’
‘I was a sell-sword who fights in the open, not a spy who hides in the shadows. I certainly never betrayed my country. I never preyed on Raumerike ships and I would never do so.’
He waited, willing her to understand.
‘I believe you, my husband.’
Tension rushed from Ash’s shoulders. Kara believed him. She had claimed him. He gathered her in his arms. ‘It is a start.’
A tiny frown creased her forehead. ‘Can you prove it?’
‘Should it come to it, I believe I can. My men will vouch for me.’
‘Who would believe the word of a sell-sword? Everyone knows they will say anything for money.’ She stuffed her hand in her mouth. ‘That sounds dreadful, Ash. But you need others to support you. You can’t do this alone.’
‘My uncle will overreach. He needs a small push, but he will do it.’
‘Would you give up your man if it turns out your uncle is correct and your ship did attack?’
Ash considered Helgi. His oarsman was cautious to the point of inaction. He only attacked if he knew he had superior numbers. The ship had barely enough men to get upriver. Ash had made sure of it. They had not been the aggressors. He knew this in his gut. ‘It would go against Helgi the Short’s nature to attack.’
‘That isn’t what I asked! Would you be the one to strike him dead if he turns against you? The king is sure to ask you. Hesitating will only give credence to our enemies.’
He tilted his head. ‘Our? Since when did my enemies become yours? A man doesn’t abandon his friends or the men who trust him, Kara. Helgi did not do this.’
‘Not even to save himself?’
‘Especially not then. I’ll prove Helgi’s innocence and my own, as well.’
‘Attacking you through this ship means Rurik’s inheritance is in jeopardy. I can’t allow that to happen. Promise me you won’t put your friend above our son.’
A pang went through Ash. He wanted to be more important than Rurik. He shook his head in disbelief. When had he started to be jealous of his son? He wanted Kara to trust him.
‘I want the truth, Kara. If Helgi has disobeyed my direct orders, then I will be the one to draw a sword and strike his head from his shoulders. But a man should be deemed innocent until proven guilty. I will defend him until I have proof otherwise.’ He hoped Kara believed it. If he couldn’t convince Kara, what chance did he have of convincing the king?
Silently he prayed to any god who might be listening that he would be able to prove it and he would not be the one to end Helgi’s life. He owed Helgi far too many debts. ‘If he has betrayed me, I will not hesitate. I haven’t in the past. Let me go.’
‘To do what? Leave and not come back?’
‘To fight for us both.’ He lifted her chin so he could stare directly into her eyes.
She slammed her fists together. ‘I will return with you. You owe me this, Ash.’
He stared at her, dumbfounded. Hadn’t Kara listened to a word he had said? He had made arrangements for her. ‘You can stay here, safe and unmolested. No one will doubt Rurik’s claim to this place. I will make sure of it. It will be better for you to look after Rurik here.’
‘Rurik goes to Sand, as well. We all go or none of us goes.’
He stared at her open-mouthed. ‘You are going to risk Rurik in Sand? Why? He is safest here!’
‘He will be safer with you than being left here, and there is no one I will leave him with, not after what happened the last time. There, I’ve given you an excuse if anyone asks, but I want us to be together as a family. We face this together. United against the world.’
Ash gulped hard. Kara wanted to come with him. Once, he’d longed to hear those words. Now they made it worse. This wasn’t about proving his worth as a warrior, but saving his family. He had to outthink his uncle and he couldn’t do that if he was worried about Kara and Rurik. Here at Jaarlshiem he could leave enough men to protect them. In Sand anything could happen to them.
For the past seven years, he had only had himself to worry about and now he was terrified for Kara and Rurik. He wanted to be able to protect them, not just because he had a duty towards them but because he cared about them.
‘Your offer is unexpected.’ He ran his hand through his hair, wondering how he could stop her without destroying this new fragile bond that had grown between them in the last few days. And he selfishly wanted her there with him, which was wrong. If he was truly the man he wanted to be, he’d make her stay where she was safe.
‘Unexpected or unwelcome?’ she asked sharply.
‘I’m used to being on my own. Worrying about myself and no one else. I have everything under control.’
She slipped her hand through his arm. ‘You are not on your own any longer.’
Ash’s stomach knotted. Her saying that made it worse. The walls pressed in on him, making it difficult to breathe. He had planned everything. Kara was supposed to want to stay out of harm’s way. She wasn’t supposed to volunteer to come with him. ‘It could be a trap. My uncle might try to harm you or Rurik to get at me. Think of how that will make me feel.’
‘You proclaimed that everything was in hand.’ Her mouth turned mulish. ‘If it is safe enough for you, it is safe enough for Rurik.’
‘It is different for me. I know the risks. You can stay here. I will leave my men to guard you.’ He ran his hand down the length of her arm. ‘I want to know you are safe. Do this for me.’
Her lashes swept down, hiding her expression. ‘You asked for the opportunity to show me that you have changed. I will give you that opportunity. Will you let me come and bring Rurik?’
Ash brushed his lips against hers and tried to dispel his sudden sense of panic. He wasn’t a better man. He was a selfish one who would take every opportunity to be with his wife and child. The fact tore at his insides. ‘After this afternoon, I’ve no wish to let you go.’
‘Then you agree. I’ll come.’
‘How can I stop you?’ He bowed his head. The walls of the hall seemed to bear down on him, reminding him of his duty and how he’d failed before. Far more was at stake this time. There would be no second chance to get it right. ‘I need to see my men and make sure all is ready, including a cart for you and Rurik.’
* * *
Kara paced her chamber. She had retired for the night after she had given up waiting for Ash to return from his making arrangements for their departure. Her mind spun with all the worries about the future. Ash was going again and she had no guarantee when he might return. Or if. And had he truly meant his words about becoming a farmer? Or had that been a sop?
After giving a soft knock, Ash entered the room. ‘Valdar and his men are bedded down. Safe and secure. And all arrangements are in hand. We leave at first light.’
‘Was it that difficult?’
‘It took some doing.’ Ash ran his hand through his hair. ‘He doesn’t know you are coming yet.’
She stared at him. ‘If you hope to use your power of persuasions with me, I will warn you my mind is made up. I am going.’
He shook his head. ‘I know enough about you not to try that. Less chance of objections from Valdar. I wanted to spend tonight with you, rather than countering his arguments. I had to show him the fortifications so that he could test you would be properly guarded.’
‘Then he is not entirely your uncle’s creature.’
‘You have a point, Kara. You are far more than a pretty face.’
Kara frowned at the way the warmth curled about her insides at his hooded look. She wasn’t going to fall into bed with him, just yet. She wanted to make sure he understood her terms first. ‘I’m sure Valdar will see the necessity and he would far rather I travelled with him and you, instead of making the journey on my own.’
‘Stubborn. Just the way I like you.’ He moved closer. ‘Do I have to provoke another fight before you will kiss me?’
‘I’m finished with fighting you.’
He lifted her chin. ‘You will see, Kara, I will prove I’m worthy of you. A few short weeks and we will return.’
Her heart panged. The echo of seven years ago rang loudly in his words.
‘It will take as long as it takes.’ Her voice trembled on the last word. She screwed her eyes up tightly, silently cursing. ‘I know that, Ash. I have accepted it.’
She hoped he believed it more than she did.
‘I’ve stopped thinking about the future, Kara. I want to live in the here and now.’ He smoothed the hair off her forehead and her entire body tingled with an acute awareness of him and what they had shared earlier.
She wanted that sharing again, that feeling of closeness.
‘Can you do that?’ he rasped, gently tugging at her earlobe. Little flames licked at her inner core, igniting her senses in a way that only Ash could. It amazed her that she could feel so alive. Like a moth drawn to a flame, she found the movement of his mouth impossible to resist.
She knew it was impossible to explain her feelings for him in words, but she could allow her body to speak.
‘I will try.’ She looped her arms about his neck. ‘Enough thinking for tonight, I want to feel.’