Session Fifteen Worksheet:
Choosing Your Code
Objective:
Unlearn all-or-nothing indoctrination that breeds paralysis.
Pivot toward fusion thinking.
Rethink It:
Move from Paralysis to Fusion
It’s easy to get lost in the aisles with the endless choices in living that confront us. Opportunities are exciting, and we never want to complain about privilege, but the rapid changes and possibilities in our world can make us dizzy. We can get stuck in all-or-nothing thinking without realizing that we can fuse ideas together, imagineering a new code for living that allows us to shine the brightest.
All-or-Nothing Check
Action Steps:
Go Beyond and Fuse Your Code
The changes we see in society are hard to conceive. The terrain can seem so open that we feel closed in, not knowing which direction to turn. Try some of these steps to help you with your fusion:
1. Mix up your breakfast. Plain Cheerios serve a purpose, but be sure to add variety into your routines. Don’t glue yourself to one way of doing things; creativity often lets us expand our horizons. We all need some spice of life to keep us energized throughout our long, hard days. Just like we are what we eat, the ideas we consume have a big effect on us. If we only feast on the same old thing, we will stay stagnant.
2. Set boundaries. In our sky’s-the-limit culture, it’s easy to get carried away. As University of Michigan researcher Raymond De Young points out, our global resources are declining in the face of living beyond sustainable limits. It happens across societies, but also on many levels in our lives. Maybe we choose a job that exhausts us, requiring overwork that can compromise us over the long haul. Maybe we take on too much in our lives. We choose more of what we can realistically handle: too many kids, too big of a house, or too many commitments. We say yes to so much that maintaining it all becomes more complicated than healthy. Even if we’re consuming something good, too much of something can overwhelm us. Making simplicity an inherent part of our values system can help. Make choices that sustain you in all areas of your life, considering how a decision at work or with your family affects the other areas.
3. Compare and contrast. Select principles from a sample of one or two different religious or humanist frameworks. How are they similar? In what ways do they differ? What can any of them learn from each other? How could these ideas be brought out in your own life?
4. Listen. Play “Shake It Out” by Florence and the Machine. What types of devils have you had on your back? What helps you shake them out? In what ways do you need to dance more freely from society’s grip without losing your grounding?
5. Invite people with you on your journey. Even when there may be resistance from people who eat plain Cheerios, ask them to join you in experiencing something new. Exposure to new ways of engaging in life can be a catalyst for positive growth and change our relationships for the better. If you’ve been fortunate to sample the tastes of the world, share them. Don’t keep your expansion to yourself.
6. Write out your code. Take a look at the eight Cs of IFS, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and, the Social Work Code of Ethics, or a framework you already rely on for moral grounding. Write a one-page code of ethics that you want to live by. Post it in everyday sight to remind yourself and inspire others.
“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”